Only a week away until
Superman Returns.
Chapter Four
Two weeks prior to the time that Sid and Sam Sleaze had arrived in Metropolis, they were able to retrieve the truck that they used to travel around in, hauling equipment for their funfair. Upon arriving in the colossal city, Sid and Sam discovered that searching for a small place like Sesame Street was almost like finding a needle in a haystack. On every turn that Sam made behind the wheel, he found a place that he and his brother had seen before, which gave him the impression that they had been going around in circles for several times.
The Sleaze Brothers had brought a map of the city along with them, just in case they ended up in situations like the one they were in. However, when the two realized that they never learned how to read a map (there were times during their travels when they ended up in the wrong country), they knew that the situation was beginning to seem hopeless. They had soon taken a break from their search, going to a chicken restaurant for lunch.
“I don’t get it, Sid.” Sam said, very frustrated. “I mean no city in the world can be
this big! It’s ridiculous!” Sid just munched away on his chicken, while listening to his brother complain. Some of what Sam said didn’t make contact with his hearing, because he was so focused on his meal. It had been years since he tasted real food, which was more than the moldy bread and contaminated water that they fed them in prison. “At this rate, we’ll never find that bird! And without that bird, there’s no knowledge of Superman! And with no knowledge of Superman, there’s no way we’ll be hired by Lex Luthor! And without Lex, we’ll just be two jerks starving on the streets!” After finishing his last chicken leg, Sid focused on his brother, just in time to hear the last thing that he said.
“We’re not starving now.” Sid indicated.
“You may not be, but I am!” Sam exclaimed, and as he reached over to the plate that was sitting in front of Sid, he picked up a chicken leg from it, only to realize that all of the meat had been stripped off of it. “I don’t believe it!” He looked down at the plate and noticed how there was a pile of bones sitting on it. “You ate everything before I had the chance to grab something, Sid!” Sid let out a loud belch that attracted some attention among other customers.
“I’m sorry, Sammy.” Sid remarked, with a guilty look on his face. “But do you know how long it’s been since I had chicken for lunch?”
“I
should know, considering the fact that I was locked up
with you!” Sam yelled, angrily.
“Calm down.” Sid said, and he smiled. “Hey, listen. I’ll go and get us some more.”
“Forget it,” uttered a disappointed Sam. “There was only ten dollars in the wallet that we found on the ground. It won’t be enough to get us a second helping.” Sid looked hopelessly at his brother; the both of them were quiet for a brief moment, thinking of what they could do next. “I can’t believe I don’t have a single idea in my head.”
“I can’t believe it either.” Sid said. “You’re the one who usually has all the ideas.”
“Not anymore.” Sam contradicted. “Jail has rotted my mind. I can’t think of anything!”
“You
think now’s a good time to try and restart that funfair?” Sid asked, and Sam erupted with anger.
“What did I tell ya about that?!?!” Sam shouted, just before he grabbed Sid’s arm, leading them both away from the table and out of the restaurant. He still had quite a firm grip on his brother’s arm as they went down the sidewalk. “We are not going to be the same world-traveling, carnival-throwing nitwits that we were before we got into prison! We’re going to think bigger this time, you understand?!”
“Sure, Sammy. I understand.” Sid said. “But with no money and no bird, how are we going to do anything big?” Before Sam could answer that question, the brothers heard someone whistling to them; they turned their heads to the right and spotted a short green-skinned, purple-nosed stranger wearing a trenchcoat and a black fedora in a nearby alleyway.
“Come ‘ere.” The stranger uttered, and the Sleaze Brothers looked to each other, wondering what such a character could’ve possibly wanted from them. Curiously, they entered the dim alleyway and approached the stranger, who seemed very paranoid, looking left and right constantly as he addressed the brothers. “You boys wantin’ a chance to be Lex Luthor’s right-hand men, eh?” Sam and Sid were surprised that the stranger had known about their mission.
“Who told you about that?” Sid asked.
“I work for someone that’s twice as big as Double L is.” The stranger said, looking around at the empty alleyway. “In fact, they would practically be the same person, if it weren’t for one thing.”
“And what’s that?” Sam queried, and the stranger gestured for them to kneel down, so he could whisper his answer into their ears.
“The person I work for is a woman.” He replied. “A woman named Carmen Sandiego.” That name struck Sam and Sid as hard as the name of Lex Luthor did; as criminals they would know about every well-known criminal in the world, and there was no criminal (except for Lex Luthor) that was bigger than Carmen Sandiego.
“Carmen Sandiego?!” Sid and Sam yelled, and the stranger frantically shushed them, and then he looked around to see if anyone heard that name.
“The lady in red heard about your little task, and she sent me in to give you an offer that you couldn’t possibly refuse.” The stranger said.
“What kind of an offer?” Sam asked, and the stranger looked around again, just before he opened the left side of his trenchcoat and revealed a sparkling crystal that looked exactly like the one Mac had found. The crystal sparkled in the eyes of Sam and Sid Sleaze, as they both gazed upon its beauty.
“There are rumors goin’ around of a new planet that’s formin’ in our solar system.” The stranger said, and the brothers got very confused.
“A new planet?!” They exclaimed, and the stranger shushed them again, closing his trenchcoat to cover the crystal from anyone that he thought was listening in on their conversation. After looking around to see if there was anyone listening, the stranger went back to business.
“Riiiight.” He uttered, opening his trenchcoat again to show the crystal to the brothers. “Gentlemen, what I have here in my coat pocket could be the key to a new civilization of people just like our friend, Superman. And with a civilization like that, we can discover remarkable alien technology that could turn ordinary guys like you and me into gods, and—in Miss Sandiego’s case—a goddess.” Sam and Sid were very intrigued by the revelation that the stranger had given them; it was far better than what they had in mind. However, they couldn’t help but to wonder if there was a catch.
“Hold it. Hold it.” Sam said. “Why would Carmen Sandiego want to bring us into this plan of hers?” The stranger looked around again, before answering Sid’s question.
“Before I got to ya, you boys were goin’ after that Big Bird character from that Sesame Street place, riiiight?” He asked, and the brothers nodded. “And you figured that since the bird has a history with the Man of Steel, kidnappin’ him and gettin’ him to spill the beans on Superman would get you into Luthor’s club, riiiight?” Sam and Sid again nodded in response to his question. “Well, who needs one bird to go after another bird, when you can become a new type of bird yourself?” Now Sam and Sid were more puzzled than ever. “If you boys take Miss Sandiego’s offer, then she can promise you that by Saturday, you’ll become more of a superman than Superman himself.” The Sleaze Brothers liked the idea of becoming a new breed of “Supermen”; there was no way they could refuse such a great offer.
“Consider it a deal, Mister…?” Sam said, and the stranger looked around again, before he whispered his name to the brothers.
“Lefty.” He said. “Just call me…Lefty.”
“Thanks, Lefty!” Sam exclaimed, and Lefty shushed him, looking around while Sid got curious about something.
“Hey, Sammy, what about Lex Luthor?” Sid asked. “I mean, I know we’re going to be dealing with a woman that’s better than he is, but the man is still big. He could be listening in on us as we speak.” With that remark from Sid, Lefty started scouting the entire alleyway, as the brothers talked amongst themselves.
“Luthor’s been old news since he tried to build his own country.” Sam replied. “Carmen Sandiego is the new craze in criminal media nowadays. And if she can promise us superpowers of our own, then I say to heck with Lex Luthor!” Sid gave a little smile to his brother; for some strange reason, he felt more confident about teaming with Carmen Sandiego (probably because he was captivated over her stunning beauty). “Hey, Lefty!”
“SHHHH!!!!!” Lefty exclaimed, as he came back over to Sam and Sid.
“So what do have to do in order to become Supermen?” Sam asked, and Lefty indicated the crystal in his coat pocket again.
“There’s a kid that lives on Sesame Street who owns a crystal just like this one.” Lefty said. “According to Miss Sandiego, there are three crystals just like this one out there. The one that I have with me now was found somewhere in the darkest, deadliest regions of Gotham City. We sent at least fifty VILE agents in that part of the city, and only one came back with this crystal.”
“What’s so special about these crystals anyway?” Sam asked.
“Miss Sandiego says that they’re some kind of keys that opens a portal into the new planet.” Lefty informed. “Once the crystals are together, that portal will open. But it’s a possibility that they will scatter again, after the rough trip through space.”
“So there are three crystals, eh?” Sam said. “The first one’s on Sesame Street and you have the second one with you now. Where’s the last one?”
“We hadn’t gotten to that one yet.” Lefty said. “Miss Sandiego thinks it’s in the hands of Lex Luthor, who we think has a similar plan concocting in that big, bald head of his. Only it probably would involve going to Superman’s
winter home in the Artic.”
“I’ve heard about that place from a couple of inmates back in the pen.” Sid stated. “The Fortress of Solitude!”
“SHHHH!!!” Lefty exclaimed.
“You know that really getting on my nerves.” Sam remarked.
“Sorry.” Lefty uttered.
“Alright. It looks like we
still have to get to Sesame Street in order to succeed in our mission.” Sam said.
“But there’s one problem that we haven’t solved yet.” Sid added.
“How do we get to Sesame Street?!” They yelled.
“It’s amazing how you guys could know Carmen Sandiego and
not know where Sesame Street is.” Lefty commented, shaking his head in disgust.
END OF CHAPTER FOUR
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