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Seven Ball Tango

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by WebMistressGina, Jun 14, 2012.

  1. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Gina, you are on FIRE!

    :concern:: Really?
    :o: Oh no! Are you okay?
    :eek:: *screams and runs away in fear*

    Beaker, get back here! No, I'm not really on fire; I meant as an expression, I happen to be crazy hot in the 'constantly posting fics' arena.

    :concern:: *disappointed* Oh. Is that all?

    You know what? Shut your cake hole!

    Moving on, here - ladies, gentlemen, and felt creatures - is the much talked about sequel to Eight Ball Rhumba. If you haven't read it, please return to the big ole library of fics, find me, and then find said story. Mini Garcias.

    If you HAVE read it, first - thanks much! - second, you'll remember that Miss Piggy had so graciously asked (re: ordered) Scooter to invite the lovely Amanda Cosgrove to dinner. Our little assistant did so begrudgingly and set it up for Saturday. This friends, is the true story of that date.

    *fun fact - the title of the series, besides being based on the numbered pool balls and dance numbers, also refers to the number of people involved. In 8 ball, there were 8 final competitors for instance. I actually set up a '7' ball tango, but then a sneak snuck in and well...let's all pretend there's seven, ok?

    Seven Ball Tango
    *sequel to Eight Ball Rhumba*
    *as part of the Pool Hall series*

    What was it about meeting your boyfriend’s friends that always seemed…daunting?

    Amanda Cosgrove had her share of boyfriends, not many, but enough to know that meeting your main squeeze’s friends could be problematic. She was the type of girl who always seemed too smart for her own good, which could really be intimidating apparently to guys; business talk or technology talk threw them for a loop, worse when they had no idea what she was talking about.

    It also didn’t help that her father, being the owner of a pool hall and a former player himself – not to mention former Marine – wasn’t exactly friendly to some of the guys she dated. In hindsight, some of them were kinda lousy, but a good learning experience in what she wanted in a significant other. And it just so happened that she had found what she considered the perfect SO.

    Amanda Cosgrove was having the best week ever.

    In fact, she had been having the best couple of weeks ever.

    No, no…make that, the best couple of months ever.

    It had all started when the stage manager of the Muppet Show had walked into Cosgrove’s Cool Pool, requesting to learn more about their annual pool tournament and wanting to host it at the Muppet Theatre. What was it about Scooter Grosse that she found so captivating? Was the shy manner in which he had first approached her father?

    The way that he seemed to ease into a more business and confident manner?

    His obvious intelligence?

    Boyish charm that relatively eased into a semblance of outright sexiness?

    She didn’t know. All she knew was that she had been instantly attracted to him and had wanted to get to know him better. It just happened to work out that, as the business manager, she would need to spend lots of time with the stage manager. And she had been spending as much time as she could with Scooter.

    The start of this week had been the official start of their relationship, after Scooter had bravely stated that he wanted to continue seeing her after the tournament was over. She had actually managed to meet his friends before they had started dating, however the official ‘meet the friends’ event was actually going to happen that weekend. It did feel a little odd for his boss and his girlfriend to invite to her to dinner, but from the way Scooter talked about them and the way he seemed to be close to them made it a little more important than perhaps just meeting them as friends.

    They hadn’t been dating long, so Amanda wasn’t really sure who Scooter’s parents were, in fact, she couldn’t remember him even mentioning his parents in the time they had known each other. She hadn’t thought anything about it, just guessing that perhaps they weren’t in the same state or perhaps they were deceased; she wasn’t sure and wasn’t sure when an appropriate time was to even broach the subject.

    For now, she would look forward to sitting down with the frog and pig for dinner.

    And there you have the first part of 7 Ball! So for those of you who have been reading, you've probably noticed that I keep mentioning Scooter heading off to a TED Talk conference. True fun fact - yes, this was mentioned in the 2011 movie, BUT our little go-fer actually DID do a TED talk. My apologies because I've been meaning to post this ever since 1. I keep mentioning it and 2. I discovered that OMG it's a real thing. So here is that official talk -


    This is the blog for the TED Talks, so if you've never heard of them, here's that page. And here's his official talk -

  2. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the quick post. We lost internet connect at work for like two hours today - the down side was that most of my work consists of calling people, which I couldn't do with our Internet phone down and then there's doing research and getting email, which again can't do with no Nets.

    The upside was that I completed the first chapter of 7 Ball and have started on the second. Actually, an awesome idea occurred to me on the bike ride home, so look forward to that.

    But for now, here's our first chapter!

    Chapter I


    Monday mornings were fairly slow when it came to managing a pool hall. Most people were usually starting their work week and the day wasn’t usually a busy night when it came to people coming in. For this reason, Amanda had these days off from work, though there could be times in which her dad might need to come in.

    On this particular Monday, Amanda had been awake early in the day, as she was every day. However, this morning, she had gotten the nicest text on her phone –

    SCOOTER: Morning, beautiful! Meeting this morning as you know, but how about lunch? Really wanna see you today.

    Amanda couldn’t stop the silly grin or the bubbly giggle that came when she had read that. She had known the night before that Scooter would be in a meeting that morning, but the very fact that he would text her for lunch was endearingly sweet. She sent a quick message back that she would equally love to see him and for him to give her a call when he was done.

    It was still fairly early and she was well aware that Mondays were the days that he met some of the cast of the Muppet Show and went over different ideas and the like. Living most of her life in the entertainment capital of the world, Amanda was certainly used to seeing and even speaking with celebrities of all walks of life.

    Of course, she would just about die if she ever ran into Justin Timberlake or was introduced to someone like Drew Barrymore, but she had come across her share of the famous; you couldn’t not happen to see a star walking down the street or sitting at a table, even if they could prevent anyone from knowing it was them. With her father’s former pool playing skills, she had met the crème de la crème of the pool set; she had even been a couple of competitions in the past.

    For some reason, however, none of that compared to the fact that she – Amanda Lilith Cosgrove – was dating the stage manager, production assistant, and semi-regular star of the famed Muppet Show and movies. And if that didn’t catch someone’s fancy, he also just happened to be a former employee of Google – that little company that ran just about anything and everything that the fruit company didn’t – oh and did she mention that he was a speaker at a TED conference?

    The guy oozed sex appeal and he probably didn’t even know it.


    Lunch was slightly later than she wanted, but she was more than happy to meet with Scooter at a little bistro that was up the street from Muppet Studios.

    “Sorry, sorry,” he said, hurriedly, kissing her quickly on the cheek before taking a seat across from her. “Meeting ran a little late this morning.”


    “No, no,” he said, waving a hand in the air. “Just the normal stuff. You know, Kermit giving a ten minute long speech on how chainsaws would not and could not be used in any capacity unless it was carpentry related and how certain people shouldn’t usurp live sketches, to which apology baskets are to be delivered; oh and how under no circumstances are people to volunteer the Muppet Theatre for outside activities unless first discussing it with said owner and director. Which of course is when I pointed out that, technically, I was the owner of said theatre, which of course didn’t go over so well.”

    Amanda grimaced. “He’s really mad at you, huh?”

    “Well,” Scooter replied. “Mad is a relative term. As long as I hold as much information as Kermit thinks I hold and Piggy is swinging at bat for me, I’m guaranteed a job.”

    “Really?” she asked, surprised. She had always thought Scooter held on to his job because of his awesomeness.

    He chuckled. “It’s…it’s a long running gag,” he admitted. “I haven’t told you how I got this job as stage manager/production assistant/personal assistant, have I?”

    Amanda shook her head. “I mean,” she began. “I know it had something to do with your uncle, didn’t it?”

    “Yeah,” he laughed. “See, it all started when my uncle thought I was lazing about when I should’ve been doing something productive. You know, the same thing every fourteen year old does. So he comes to me one day, telling me that I’m going to learn about the business by doing business; seems he has just leased this old time theater to a bunch of artsy, theater folk…”

    Lunch was filled with funny anecdotes and stories from the life of one Scooter Grosse, including why Kermit had permanently banned non-motorized vehicles from inside the theatre, why Fozzie (or Gonzo) were not allowed sharp instruments, and why he and Piggy were never allowed significant time together. In turn, Amanda shared the reasons why she didn’t like jelly, why she was banned from scary movies as a child, and why she and her best friend Hope were no longer allowed to play Monopoly.

    When they finished and paid, Scooter walked her to her car before pulling her into a tight embrace, which caused her giggle in joy.

    “You wouldn’t happen to want to have dinner with me, do you?” asked the assistant, kissing her cheek gently.

    “As a matter of fact,” she replied, answering his kiss with one of her own. “I would love to have dinner with you. In fact, why don’t you come over and I’ll make dinner?”

    “I have a girlfriend that cooks?”

    “Good thing, too,” she quipped. “Who knows what kind of meals you’re eating being left by yourself?”

    “I’ll have you know I eat pretty well, thank you.”

    “Please tell me you have silverware and plates.”

    Scooter made an over exaggerated grunt, pulling Amanda to him and spinning her slightly. “Scooter no need plate,” he grunted. “Scooter have hands. Scooter kill things with rock.”

    The Whatnot couldn’t help but laugh at the poor caveman impression; what made it even more ridiculous was the fact that she was well aware that Scooter was very much a modern man. The couple stopped their playful turns; Scooter was well aware that he was probably making a scene, but he found himself not really caring. In his arms was a beautiful, smart, funny, talented girl who was just as crazy about him as he was her and it kinda didn’t matter that he was spinning her around in a crowded parking lot.

    “Is that a club in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

    The redheaded manager couldn’t stop the blush even if he tried and worse, he couldn’t really think of anything snappy to respond to that. Nearly twenty years working with the funniest people ever and you haven’t learned a thing, he thought to himself. “Well…” he sputtered. “Of…of course I’m happy to see you! And…and…stop laughing!”

    She couldn’t help herself, the look at on Scooter’s face was comical, stunned, and endearing all at the same time.

    “You know what?” he replied, indignantly. “I blame you.”


    “Yes you!” he said. “Looking all…hot and beautiful and…and…hot. You look far too pretty during the day.”

    The girl smirked. “You think this is bad,” she replied, leaning in closer to him. “You should see me at night.”

    “Don’t tempt me.”

    “Oh, I think it’s too late for that,” she murmured, pressing herself closer to him. “Don’t you think?”

    “An interesting saying just popped into my head.”


    “The female of the species is more deadlier than the male.”

    Here's another fun fact for you all - those things that Amanda doesn't do, like eat jelly, or isn't allowed to do - like watch scary movies alone or play Monopoly...those are all things that I'm not allowed to do anymore. So yes, as a child I was banned from watching scary movies and my friend Jason and I have been banned from playing any board game together.

    The more you know!
  3. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Cheers for sequelness. Me like, me approve, me smile at Scooter and Amanda.:insatiable: tears into the fic, leaving crumbs on his furry self. More please? No? That okay, me satisfied for now. Thank you, buh-bye.
  4. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Of course, now I'm curious WHY you may no longer play Monopoly...

    A fun start! I was a little surprised at the "club in your pocket" line, but what the hey. I agree Muppets should have normal love lives, so go for it, you wacky kids!

    I really enjoy the one-liners and offhanded bits you throw in. Those are essential to any good Muppet story/script, and they make me snicker every time. NON-motorized vehicles not allowed? What about Gonzo's motorcycle? Are you saying he's done something even worse with a -- a -- handtruck?!

    :concern: That's nothing. You should see the OTHER lawnmower.

    Keep going!
  5. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Well, because you asked, Jason and I are no longer allowed to play Monopoly because we are way too competative with each other. We're the kind of people who take a personal interest in our properties and doing everything we can to basically screw the other person from getting what they want.

    This is true for every board game we play, which is why we're not allowed to play any together anymore.

    If there is one thing that I've learned from watching the Muppets, is that jokes I didn't get as a kid, I get now and there were some that snuck in through the sensors (like the 'assets' joke in MCC) Actually, it reminds me of this MovieFone (?) interview with Kermit, Piggy, Segal, and Adams.

    They were answering users questions and I don't remember what the question was, but the joke was something along the lines that Kermit and Piggy were 'doing it'. So Kermit makes that comment and not only did I go, "Wait. Did he just say...?" but so did Segal and Adams. The looks on their faces were hilarious!

    I found it on You Tube, so maybe I can find it again and post it.

    Glad you enjoy it! I've always loved the one liners that fly around. There are some that I'm STILL getting now that I'm older and actually understand what they mean. Expect more hilarity, hopefully coming up later tonight!
  6. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the lateness! Apparently, the universe has decided it doesn't want me to set up my desktop, which is very annoying because writing this, as well as playing video games, would make more sense on a desktop.

    Chapter II


    Tuesdays were relatively slow days for the Muppets; it was usually towards the end of the week when things got to be interesting, with dress rehearsals going on, as well as last minute add ons, dismissals, and change ups. For this reason, Scooter spent his time doing some side work for Google and debating about doing another TED Talk.

    Working at Muppet Studios was actually a pretty fun workplace when you knew what to avoid and who to actually talk to. On this Tuesday, apparently Scooter wasn’t the only one who had gotten bored and decided to head out to the studio lot and find something fun to do. For some unknown reason even to him, the go-fer dusted off his old skateboard and took to riding around the lot, uninhibited by the wide open spaces and hidden from the disapproving eyes of a certain frog boss.

    It felt a little odd to be on the skateboard, especially considering he hadn’t actively used it since getting his driver’s license and then when he got his first car; but odd and strange as it was, it felt great to skate around, feeling the wind and sun against his face and hair. It was the same reason he kept his old bike, the one he used to ride to school and then to the theatre afterwards.

    Though the show took up a good majority of his time, Scooter none the less was able to squeeze in some after school activities. One of his favorites was that of basketball and while he hadn’t been a star player, he was pretty good; good enough to enjoy the game and play it well. He wasn’t the only one who enjoyed a good sporting event; with splitting their time in both Hollywood and New York, the group had managed to pick sides in the different sporting events that were going on.

    He was actually surprised at some of the more heated arguments the gang had gotten into when it came to sports; while not everyone agreed on the different types of sports, their team affiliations were what set them apart in any instance. Last year’s football season, for example, had been utterly disappointing to anyone who wasn’t Rizzo, who saw his beloved Giants not only make it to the Super Bowl, but win it.

    Now basketball – that was Scooter’s game and as such, he had managed to talk his uncle into building a small court down from the theatre; as the Muppet became more famous and as the theatre expanded to that of Muppet Studios, Kermit and the others had agreed that the basketball court should stay, if just to have something to do when a creative dry up occurred or – in most cases – they were bored and just wanted to start a pick up game.

    Today, being a slow day anyways, Scooter was actually surprised at how many people seemed to be milling about the studios. It wasn’t uncommon for some of them to head over to the studios just to see if anyone was there or to get some work done without the constant hustle and bustle of the others being around. But what was common was the insistence that who was around get involved in whatever activity was going on.

    The stage manager caught up to Rowlf, Floyd, and Janice, who were just leaving the music area, no doubt creating some new amalgamation of songs; Gonzo and Fozzie were already on the court, tossing the ball and forth to each other, while Piggy was stretched out in one of three lounge chairs that she had insisted be available should anyone want to sit.

    And that, sports fans, is how a pickup basketball game occurred between Scooter and Gonzo versus Floyd and Rowlf.

    For those in the audience – that of Piggy, Janice, and Fozzie – watching four Muppets play basketball was in reality a perfect excuse to just sit around and talk, especially when it came to an upcoming show. The trio was only interrupted when Scooter’s phone – which Piggy had liberated from his jacket pocket when it started going off. The diva was quite surprised to see that Amanda had tried calling and was more than happy to send the Whatnot a text to let her where Scooter was.

    It didn’t take long for Amanda to find where the impromptu game was being played, just wanting to find something to do before needing to head out to work and for her, spending time with Scooter was the best way to do that. By the time she arrived, both Floyd and Scooter had divested themselves of their shirts and Gonzo had apparently decided that his tie made a great headband.

    Amanda’s sudden arrival pleased Scooter more than he thought possible. It also started a chain of events that he – nor anyone else – had seen coming.

    Floyd had of course seen the change, with Scooter looking over at the redhead every chance he could.

    “Hey man,” the bassist taunted, as Scooter waited to pass the ball from the sidelines. “Just cause your girlfriend’s here doesn’t mean you get to stop playing.”

    “That sounded like a challenge,” Gonzo shouted from center court.

    “That did sound like a challenge,” Scooter agreed, staring down Floyd.

    Scooter Grosse wasn’t the kind of guy who got heady off of testosterone, but in that moment, the hormone that resided in his felt body demanded that he not be embarrassed in front of his girl. In fact, it told him, you are gonna show Amanda what a basketball star you are. Cause you are one.

    The next few plays did indeed showcase what a talented ball player that Scooter was and the cheering from Amanda only helped to fuel his game. After passing a shot to Gonzo that the weirdo managed to make, Scooter was more than a little excited.

    “Scooter Grosse can’t stop!” he roared. “I just can’t stop! And I can’t be stopped!”

    “Someone’s getting a little cocky,” Janice whispered to Piggy, causing the diva to giggle slightly.

    “I never realized what a great ball player Scooter was,” Amanda replied, dreamily.

    “And someone has fallen hook, line, and sinker,” Piggy retorted.

    Back on the court, Scooter’s testosterone was making him invincible, an idea forming in his head. He was going to do a dunk shot.

    Now, Muppets can do a great many things. Their bodies can withstand a great number of things that the average human would falter under, however there are things that a Muppet is just not designed to do.

    One of those things is making a dunk shot.

    Scooter Grosse however was going to be the first Muppet in history to do a dunk shot.

    The score was in their favor, 35 to 30, and Scooter was determined to win. He was on the side, with Floyd trying to block him; he quickly mapped out his approach and then made his move. He passed to Gonzo, darting past Floyd in order to get the pass from his blue partner.

    Rowlf tried to block him; the brown dog had been a formidable force this game, making at least six rebound shots, and blocking several others.

    Scooter feinted around him.

    Floyd seemed to assign himself the official shot blocker for Scooter Grosse, managing to block a good portion of the shots that the stage manager had tried to get off.

    Scooter did an around the back pass to Gonzo, spun around the bassist, and was able to get the ball back as he cleared him.

    The basket was there and ready for the taking; Scooter went for it. He dribbled down the court, his feet thundering on the ground before he took flight. He flew through the skies, pulling his arm back as it held the ball.

    Closer and closer he drew towards the basket, just as his hand went down, sinking the ball within. And like a feather, he landed on his feet and embraced the woman that flew at him.

    He could hear them chanting for him. “Scoo-ter! Scoo-ter!


    “Hey, I think he’s waking up.”

    “Kid, you okay?”

    When Scooter managed to open his eyes – correction, one eye – he was greeted with the ceiling above his head and the sounds of people around him. And his face hurt; even the grimace he made in response to his pain even hurt.

    “Wha’ happen?” he asked, groggily.

    “You tried dunking the ball and ran face first into the metal pole,” replied a voice. Was that Piggy? He was pretty sure that was Piggy. Her name was Piggy, right? “You’re gonna have one heck of a shiner on your left eye.”

    Oh, that would explain why he couldn’t open his left eye. And why his face hurt.

    “That not cool,” he slurred.

    “Oh, it was totally embarrassing!” Fozzie supplied.

    “Though you did redeem yourself in your semi-conscious state when you started singing the theme to Shaft,” Gonzo added.

    “Yes,” Piggy replied, sarcastically. “And thank you so much for finishing the song for him.”

    “Hey,” Floyd interjected. “When someone says they’re talking about Shaft, you dig it. No matter what.”

    “Was Manda there?”

    “Fer sure,” Janice said. “She was like first on the scene when you hit the pole.”

    “Not right…”

    “Good news though,” the guitarist continued. “Dr. B said you probably didn’t have a concussion.”

    “Which is the only reason we let you sleep for a few hours,” Piggy concluded.

    “Hours?” Scooter squeaked.

    “Oh yeah!” Fozzie exclaimed. “You knocked yourself cold! It reminded me of that time Gonzo went through the wall after shooting himself out of a canon.” Turning to the daredevil, the bear asked, “You remember that?”

    “Yeah!” the weirdo agreed, before a confused look landed on his face. “Sorta. I remember coming out of the canon, seeing the wall coming at me, and three days after that.”

    “You ramble,” Piggy mentioned. “You also seem to know all the capitals of the United States.”

    “I do?”

    “And countries, too,” Janice added. “Didn’t Robin get an A on his continents test because of that?”

    Piggy sat up straighter, with a big smile on her face. “He had the highest grade in the class,” she responded, proudly.

    “How is the little green machine?” Floyd asked, with curiosity.

    The group began to discuss Robin the Frog, the youngest member of their troupe and Kermit’s nephew. The young frog had been heavily involved with schooling by the time they were starting to falter. Even with the split of the group and his school activities, Robin had never lost the theatrical spirit that he had gotten from his uncle.

    He had been highly active in his school’s vocal program, as well as their theater arts program; he of course complained that it wasn’t nearly as crazy as what he was used to, but it did manage to tide the melancholy he got being away from it all.

    In any other circumstance, Scooter would have loved to hear how his younger counterpart was doing, but with a throbbing face and head, the buzzing around him was getting to be too much.

    “Hey!” he croaked. “Guy with the concussion on the couch needs answers! And aspirin.”

    “We told you,” Gonzo replied, watching as Janice hopped up to get the requested aspirin. “You don’t have a concussion.”

    “Though I was suspect to hear Honeydew’s assertion,” Piggy muttered.

    “We got your second opinion,” Gonzo retorted. “And that guy said Scooter was fine. Other than his face would be puffy for a bit. It’s looking better though. Other than that eye. It’s gonna make seeing with your glasses difficult.”

    Oh, that would explain why everyone looked like giant colored blobs.

    “Where Mandy?”

    “She had to leave for work,” Piggy answered. “However I told her that once you were up and about…” A catchy upbeat techno song rang through the room signaling that someone was calling the diva on her cell. “Talk to me,” she answered. “Oh hi! Yes, he’s up; he’s a little confused, but none the worse for wear, as they say.”

    Piggy listened for a moment before responding with, “Well, Dr. Honeydew didn’t think he had a concussion, but I called in a favor and got a second opinion, which of course confirmed what Bunsen thought. Hmm?”

    “Who dat?” Scooter asked, trying to reach out and touch the pinkish blob he thought could be Piggy.

    “It’s Amanda, dearheart,” the diva whispered. On the phone, she said, “As I said, he’s fine, though not much in a talkative…Scooter, lay down. Andrew, I said lay down! Where was I? Oh yes; he’s really not in a talkative mood. He’s lost some of his cognitive…Andrew Martin, get back on that couch this…

    “Gonzo, get a waste backet! Scooter, if you throw up, you’re going to clean it up! And you know what? I think you should. It’s your office after all and…what’s that, dear? Well, that’s what he gets for trying to move. I told him he should lay back down and…Andrew, unless you can recite the Declaration of Independence, you are not speaking to this girl! Now lay down!”
    newsmanfan likes this.
  7. Twisted Tails

    Twisted Tails Well-Known Member

    Poor Scooter! I hope he recovers soon so he can have a good talk with Amanda.
  8. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Is in a better mood after finding and reading the update. *Enjoys Scooter out on his old skateboard again. *Agrees with the sporting fan assesment. *Laughs at the display of machismo out on the basketball court once the boys have something—or someone—to play for. *Grimaces at the gofer being temporarily indisposed. *Smiles again at the veiled Animaniacs references in how it transitions to talking about Robin's current curricular progress. *Grins amusedly at the entire phone conversation between Piggy and Amanda. Thank you for this. More please when you can post it.
  9. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Hello, mon amis! I have good news! I just on my car insurance with Gieco!

    No, I'm kidding. I didn't, but I love that joke. No, even better! I got my desktop to work! And because of that, I have a new chapter for you for 7 Ball Tango!

    Chapter III


    “What happened to your face?”

    Wednesday mornings were always set for Scooter and Kermit to spend time going over the acts for the upcoming show, as well as going over the books. While the Monday morning meeting would sometimes touch on the their budget, it was Wednesday in which the stage director and manager looked a bit more closely at everything going on.

    “Oh, didn’t you hear?” Scooter replied, as he hung his laptop case on the patio chair and sat down. “I tried to fight a metal pole with my face and lost.”


    “Scooter tried to make a dunk shot and ran face first into a metal pole,” Piggy said, coming out from the kitchen and taking a seat next to Kermit. “I told you that you’d have a nice shiner on that eye.”

    “That must’ve hurt,” the frog said.

    “As I’m sure you can imagine.”

    “The puffiness has gone down,” the diva stated. “When did that happen?”

    “Around the time Amanda came by and I kicked Beaker out.”

    “Why was Beaker there?” Kermit asked.

    “Because your girlfriend/live-in wife felt the need to send a chaperone with me,” Scooter said. “In the case that I were to savagely attack a metal pole with my face again.”

    “He did attack that pole with gusto,” Piggy commented.

    “Well, it looks like you got into a fight,” Kermit added. “Or you were in a boxing match.”

    “That’s what Mandy said, too,” Scooter sighed, dreamily. “Said it was really brave of me to tackle something never been done before.”

    “There’s a reason for that, you know.”

    “Don’t you have a fashion show to attend or something?”

    Piggy smirked at the comment. “Well, I had planned on baking you some cookies,” she retorted. “But now I’m not.”

    “Well good,” Scooter quipped. “I’ve saved myself from food poisoning.”

    “If laugh-in is quite finished,” Kermit interrupted, though he was smiling when he did so. “We have work to do.”



    Thursday afternoons also got a bit busy at Cosgrove’s; that was the night that they would hold their Texas Hold’em games, but it was also a popular night to watch any sporting events that might be held during the season.

    Amanda would split her time during the card games either doing some admin stuff or playing dealer. This night, she decided to play dealer, as one of the dealers was covering for one of the wait staff. Her table was fairly popular, as many of the regulars were in that night; some of them, like Ted Malone, had known her before she was even thinking about being a dealer in her dad’s pool hall.

    Others, like Sammantha Cohrsen, had just discovered the place when they moved into the area and enjoyed playing a game with some of the others.

    On this Thursday, the regulars’ table was invaded by some of the members of the Electric Mayhem. Ever since that year’s pool tournament, more and more of the Muppet cast members would find themselves within the pool hall/bar, finding it a great place to unwind, have a couple of drinks, and watch a game or two.

    Joining that of Ted, Sam, and a few others were that of Dr. Teeth, Floyd, and Rowlf; Scooter, who elected to just stand and watch, made his presence right by Amanda’s side as she dealt out cards and poker chips.

    So far, Rowlf was having a pretty good night, taking the lead with a little over $10,000 in poker chips; Ted was right behind him, with slightly less than ten thousand, Sam and Teeth were tied at just over seven thousand, and Floyd was stubbornly holding on to one thousand chips.

    “Where’s your old man, Mandy Mo?” asked Ted, as he received his cards and signaled he was going to call the big bind.

    “He was in earlier,” replied the dealer. She waited until everyone had either called or raised before setting the first run of cards. “I think we ran low on a few things, so he went to go pick them up.”

    “Business been good?”

    “It’s gotta be,” Sam replied, nudging Rowlf who sat next to her. “Look at all the celebs that are in here.”

    “Should make ‘em start working for their food and drinks,” Malone chuckled, folding his hand with disgust.

    “You’re only saying that cause you’re losing,” Teeth retorted, raising the best by $1500.

    “Oh, c’mon!” Sam complained, also folding in the wake of the raise. “Rowlf Puppy, defend my honor!”

    Rowlf gave the girl a look. “And let him take even more of my money?” he asked. “No way.”

    “Well, how about defending my honor?” Floyd groused. Between you and Doc, I don’t have any money!”

    “Just for you, Floyd,” Teeth replied. “I’ll go a little easier on you. I’ve never liked to see a grown man crying.”

    “How you do you feel about a woman screaming?” asked Sam.

    “Are you kidding?” Scooter spoke up. “Remember who you’re talking to.”

    The next continued with friendly banter and card playing before the table was whittled down to that of Rowlf and Ted Malone. Their two man card game was fairly epic, but Ted managed to get Rowlf in the end, pushing him out and winning the final hand.

    The Muppet group called it a night, with Scooter reluctantly saying goodbye to his girlfriend.

    “How’s your eye?” the Whatnot asked, draping her arms around his shoulders.

    “Well, I can see out of it,” the stage manager joked. “That should account for something.”

    “A very brave something.”

    Scooter chuckled. “A very stupid something,” he retorted. “I tried doing something I know I can’t do and it resulted in this.” He shrugged, sheepishly. “I guess I was trying to impress you.”

    “Silly boy,” she whispered, pulling closer to him. “You don’t have to impress me. I’m already impressed.”

    “Yeah?” he whispered. “You’re pretty impressive yourself.”

    “Scooter!” called a voice, one that the stage manager recognized as Floyd. “C’mon, let’s roll! I gotta get back and make sure Animal hasn’t eaten my woman!”

    Amanda giggled, while Scooter rolled his eyes. “I suppose that’s for me,” he quipped. “We still on for Saturday?”

    “Absolutely,” she replied, dropping a kiss on his lips. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

    “Probably not,” he said. “Kermit’s called us in early for dress rehearsals. We have a couple of difficult acts this weekend, so we’re doing some extra crowd control.”

    “Can’t wait to see it.”

    “I’ll leave a ticket for you.”

    The honking of a horn stopped any further comment, complete with “There are laws about what you can do in public!” being shouted at the couple the more they dallied.

    Scooter nodded. “Floyd won’t be at dinner,” he said. “I just want you to know that.”
  10. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hello back Aimes. *Sorry, I've been reading a Scarecrow fic over in the Batman Begins section of fanfic.net, one of the few good ones, I find it endlessly frustrating that the Page 1 of that section is so full with Joker fics. You'd think the bat's never fought any other villains since. Oh, have I delivered this rant before? Please pardon my minor indulgence.

    :laugh: at the entire Wednesday morning conversation between both bosses and young snarky assistant. Noticed you subbed Scooter in for what would usually be Kermit's retorts.
    "Well, I was going to bake some cookies, but now I won't."
    "Good, now I won't suffer food poisoning."
    Are you talking about the er, ones :shifty: mistook as raisin-baked?
    :shifty: Mmm, those were good, got any left around?
    :o Aren't you going to tell him?
    :mad: Nope, and neither are you.
    :insatiable: Me never thought me say this... But that one cookie even me no eat.

    *Imagines Amanda as a crouppier. :dreamy:
    Scooter's got one heckuba girl.
    Nice addition of the poker game and how each player fares and how the Muppets have kind of commandeered Cosgrove's Cool Poll Hall as an official unofficial hangout spot.

    *Chuckles at the Mayhem's impatience to beat feet, or pedal meddle as the phrase were to be.
    *<3 the ending between Scooty G and Mandy C.

    More please?
  11. Twisted Tails

    Twisted Tails Well-Known Member

    The Amanda Whatnot and Scooter Groose would make a really great couple. I cannot wait for more.
  12. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Ah, a lover of the Bat fam, huh? Yeah, there's a reason why I stopped posting anything on that site anymore. That and I'm never even there unless I get alerted that an author has posted or updated.

    I think I was channeling KG on that; there was a great part in which Kermit reflected on the fact that if he and Piggy had children, they couldn't have asked for a better son than Scooter, who took on so much of their personalities. I saw that and have been running with it ever since.

    And no, thankfully, it wouldn't be those types of cookies. Sorry, froggies, Gina no likey the buggies and therefore, there be no buggies here.

    Uh...does croup...crup...that word mean 'dealer'? As in cards? Then yes, she is.

    In the next chapter we'll see that Scooter has realized that this might not be a good thing, while Piggy shows she can throw any size party! And the purpose for the aptly named title is revealed.
  13. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Yes, crouppier = card dealer, that's just the fancy title for it.
    I've been a member of FF.Net for two and a half years now under the name Numbervania if you want to scope some of my listed faves. There are some of adult persuasions though, so fair warning.
    *Wants to read more, currently writing long-due June entry. Me think you'll like a cameo who could wing her way back for October.
  14. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Mornin' y'all! So here's a chapter update for you, however cause I'm still working on it and it's probably gonna be longish (maybe), I'm gonna break it into parts here. And hopefully I'll have more for you either later tonight or later in the week.

    Enjoy part I!

    Chapter IV


    The day of reckoning had arrived. For three separate parties, the second day of the weekend was spent planning, prepping, and panicking.

    For Amanda Cosgrove, preparing to meet the friends of her current boyfriend was an easier task in itself. There was only a small amount of nervousness, due to the fact that this was going to be an intimate setting and not the usual crowded setting that she had gotten used to.

    Added to that was the fact that she was getting the overwhelming since that this was more than just meeting Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy for dinner; she had been feeling this way ever since Scooter had brought up the idea of having dinner.

    She had, of course, only seen a small part of the world that Scooter had literally grown up and it had seemed to her that maybe they were also trying to tone it down a bit, for her benefit. She wasn’t sure what they were worried about; Amanda Cosgrove had fallen fast for one Scooter Grosse.

    For that one Scooter Grosse, he was spending his time trying not to think about his impending dinner with his girlfriend, boss, and boss’ longtime girlfriend. Scooter had gone from jovial joking to good humored grousing to full pledge panic attack the closer the time got.

    For the first time in his dating life, the stage manager was actually concerned that his involvement with the Muppets would cost him a girlfriend. While he didn’t have that many girlfriends during his high school years, those that had shown any interest in him fell into one of two categories –

    Those that liked him for his association with the Muppets and those that either didn’t understand or didn’t like his association with the Muppets.

    The former, as he had quickly discovered, enjoyed the associate because of their weekly guest stars. It was a ploy that he would use to his advantage when attractive male guests were on the show, like Sylvester Stallone and Christopher Reeve.

    The latter, regardless of which camp they fell into, could not understand a basic principle when it came to dating anyone from the Muppets – they were a package deal. You didn’t date just one person from the Muppets, you dated the entire Muppet group.

    It was never meant to intrude, but they had all grown up together, had bonded as a family unit and like a family, watched out for each other in every aspect of life. Some girls – and guys – didn’t understand that concept.

    Those girlfriends – those who would use him to get what they wanted or who wanted to separate him from the Muppets – were quickly dealt with; Piggy always had an eye out for a girl who wasn’t whom she presented herself to be, while Camilla knew a bad egg when she saw one.

    And while the chicken and the pig were taking the unwanted interloper down, Janice – and sometimes Wanda – were there to comfort the teenager when puppy love didn’t turn out the way he thought it should.

    Was it any wonder Scooter had found them attractive in his youth?

    But that was then and this was now and now, the stage manager found himself concerned and rather cornered. What if Amanda couldn’t handle the insanity?

    The Muppets had never been known for their sanity and many celebrities had learned that the hard way when volunteering to work with them. As of late, Scooter had to admit that the group had been rather tame and he only counted that for his benefit. Should they really let loose…

    And then there was the most horrorifying of all!

    What if Piggy didn’t deem her worthy?

    Despite being unable to even list any lasting relationship that had happened outside of the Muppets, there were plenty of strong relationships within the group. The former go-fer was so used to seeing them every day, he hadn’t even realized that he used them as a marker for his own relationships. Floyd and Janice had always been a rock solid duo, incredibly supportive of each other, and always looking to have fun together.

    Gonzo and Camilla, who had been off and on as many times as the big bosses, were so devoted to one another and the lovely chicken had proved that even when her beau seemed to cross the line of sane and bat crazy, she was always there for him and could usually make him see reason.

    And then there were the frog and pig. With their constant arguments, denials, underhandedness, one would think they would be the last couple a person would hold to anything of a high standard, but Scooter held them in such regard and reverence, he had started wanting what they had.

    Not the high class drama the two went on about, but their moments when they were just Kermit and Piggy. Being the stage manager had allowed him a close up to what their relationship was when they weren’t trying to impress or one up each other. When they were on the same page, they were incredible together.

    And even when they were in different books in different libraries, neither one was afraid to back down in their conviction and – on a good day – could bring out the very best in each other. Scooter always felt Piggy’s best moments were when Kermit denied one of her diva tendencies, while Piggy’s own demand style had a flair to it that Kermit had never faced before.

    For all that mattered to Scooter, Kermit and Piggy’s relationship was the one he wanted to have with someone and the two of them could make or break a pairing he had at their whim. The redhead didn’t know what he would do if he had to choose.

    Amanda or the Muppets?
  15. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    As promised, here's the conclusion of chapter four.

    While Amanda Cosgrove was relaxed and picking out an outfit and Scooter Grosse was having a mild episode, Miss Piggy was doing what she did best.

    Putting together a party.

    Now Piggy wasn’t an amateur at hosting a party; she had been known to put together grand galas, as well as small get togethers. She could organize a party for something as big as thousands of people or as small as four; she could turn an entire house into a grandstand and had even hosted a party in a room the size of a closet.

    Oh, Piggy knew how to throw a party.

    And that was the reason Kermit let her have at it.

    The frog couldn’t plan a party nearly as good as she could and didn’t bother to try. In fact, one year he even had Piggy plan her own surprise birthday party because she was so good at the organization – she of course (thankfully) hadn’t realized she was planning her own party, but even she had to admit that she didn’t think she had ever been to a better one.

    In the logical sense, Kermit knew he probably should’ve stopped her when she somehow managed to get Wolfgang Puck as their chef for the evening, but he could easily see the move for what it was. This wasn’t just some ordinary intimate dinner nor was it the normal dinner she may have thrown if their friends were coming over.

    No, this was an informal formal dinner with Scooter and his girlfriend.

    As Scooter had done previously, Kermit was also reminded about the fact that many outsiders to their group usually didn’t last long. You had to have a special affinity in the universe to completely understand and survive an encounter of the Muppet kind and sadly, not many people did.

    It was always so much easier when people started dating or became interested in someone internally – they already knew the people involved, had worked with them in most cases – so the only thing left was to ensure that each party knew the consequences of hurting the other.

    Kermit absentmindedly rubbed his jaw, remembering a time not so long ago when Gonzo, of all people, had informed him that the frog had a steady line of people who were all ready to deck him should he mess things up with Piggy again. To say that was surprising was an understatement and to his credit, Kermit had felt horrible in thinking that everyone would side with him should another falling out happen.

    He had not only severely underestimated the amount of loyalty that Piggy garnered, but had also underestimated the others in thinking they wouldn’t side with her in one of their historic domestic disputes.

    It was extremely rare for Kermit to let his friends down so hard, but when it happened it made him realize all the more how great they were.

    And the Muppets weren’t just friends; they were family and that’s why Piggy was going all out. Oh, she may have said that this routine was the same as any, but Kermit could tell.

    Piggy always went out of her way to do special events for those she called friends, even when she would outwardly deny it every step of the way.

    One year, for Robin’s birthday, she had invited Bernadette Peters to show up; once in honor of Fozzie’s one hundredth comedic sketch, she had brought in Dan Ackroyd to personally hand over the plaque she had made specifically to highlight the occasion.

    She had of course stunned Kermit several times in the last few years by arranging for family and friends to come out and celebrate birthdays or special event days. So it went without saying that she would take the extra mile in making sure this dinner for Scooter went off without a hitch.

    And imagine, he couldn’t help but think. This wouldn’t have been possible a few years ago.

    A few years ago, Kermit had been living in the cozy mansion like house by himself. Oh, the first few days were highly defiant, thanking the heavens that he had finally rid himself of the pig who couldn’t take no for answer. When a week of that had gotten out of his system, he was presented with the fact that he was now living in a house that she had also lived in.

    There really was nowhere for him to turn without seeing some evidence of his previous life. It also didn’t help that the group seemed to be going in different directions, leaving him feeling adrift in a big sea of doubt.

    They were okay now – well, as okay as you could be with a former flame living in the same house – but Kermit could see they were slowly moving back to a place that they had both wanted and were too stubborn (okay, he was too stubborn) to admit to.

    Planning this party had reminded Kermit just how much Piggy took her responsibilities as the unofficial co-head honcho and just how much he had missed her. He must have missed her, because he hardly batted an eye when she had sent him to his room to change into ‘respectable dining clothes’.

    By the time he had changed – into that of a nice blue turtleneck and slacks – Piggy was apparently putting out fires via text. “I swear,” she huffed, directing their chef for the night towards one of the kitchen cabinets. “You think Scooter had never taken a girl to dinner before.”

    “Not here, he hasn’t,” the frog mentioned. “Something wrong?”

    “He’s apparently in the midst of having an episode,” the pig replied. “Begging me not to be so hard on Amanda and asking me if I plan on poisoning her.”

    “That’s…out of character for him.”

    “I know!”

    “He knows you don’t poison people,” Kermit continued, looking thoughtful. “Not when you can just chop them into next week.”

    “Not helping, Frog.”

    “You have to admit,” Kermit replied, snagging one of the hors d’oeuvres from the counter. “This is kinda a big thing. When was the last time you invited one of Scooter’s girlfriends to dinner? At the house?”

    Piggy thought about it for a moment before saying, “I actually don’t recall.”

    “That’s because you’ve never done it,” he stated.

    “It’s not Moi’s fault that his other girlfriends have never made it past round one.”

    “They should be lucky to have even gotten through round one.”

    “I hope you’re not implying that Moi has somehow sabotaged Scooter’s relationships…”

    “I’m not saying that all,” Kermit interrupted. “In fact, they all got what they deserved. Well, maybe except that one girl.”


    “The one whose eye you blackened.”

    “Oh no,” Piggy stated, with confidence. “Trust me; she deserved that. And if I hadn’t done it, Camilla would have. So there.”

    “The point…being…” the frog continued. “Is that it’s a very rare thing for you to invite anyone relationship wise, to the house, for dinner.”

    “I just thought the setting would be much more intimate than say…a crowded restaurant.”

    “And that’s the reason you’re going with?” he asked, knowingly. “You’re going with that.”

    Piggy opened her mouth to respond when the front door opened and their guests had arrived.
  16. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Playing catch-up...

    Ch 2: LOL at the whole buildup to the things Muppets CANNOT do, and the consequences of even trying. But -- where the heck was Kazagger? He's gonna regret missing THAT epic prizefight, even though it only went one round...or one pole. Poor Scooter...hormones are such cruel things. Glad Amanda is too smitten to think the boy an idiot!

    Ch 3: I like the end comment the best: "Floyd won't be at dinner." Hah! But he will no doubt take every single possible opportunity henceforth to bring up the dangers of rabid hoop poles. Your dialogue between one still-scarred Muppet and his *ahem* friends is wonderful.

    Ch 4: I like the idea that Piggy and Camilla have vetted the gofer's previous one-offs...and it should say a lot to the panicked boy that Piggy has planned a swanky dinner party for Amanda, since none of the others reached anything like that pinnacle! Huh...Batali, now Wolfgang? Can Piggy get Gordon Ramsey to play nice with Muppets too? What happens when she runs through the whole Food Network cast? Will the Swedish Chef be offered his own cooking show as recompense for Animal being kept away from a buffet? Tune in next week... Piggy planning her own suprise party is funny and perfectly in character; in fact, I could see her doing it purposely and then trying to get Kermit to somehow take responsibility for it so she could praise his attention...that would be very old-school Piggy.

    This is a lot of fun; my only grouses are: I'm seeing a few instances of skipped words. For instance: "The next [round? game? next what?] continued with friendly banter and card playing before the table was whittled down to that of Rowlf and Ted Malone." Also, you have a tendency to overuse the words "that of" -- they're completely unnecessary; cut them.
    Grammatical griping finished. Am enjoying; please continue!
    The Count likes this.
  17. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Gordon Ramsey who?
    Always heard but seldom seen.
    New home, ABC's The Chew.

    Ah, Iron Chef America, how I am addicted to your show.
    But when will anyone have the merit to make a true grouch dessert like sardine chocolate ice cream sundaes for their true grouch of a judge, namely Dean Jeffrey Steingarden.

    *Hopes we don't have to have to call Chef Robert Irvine over to either Charlie's or any of our HV eateries.
    *Misses Dinner Impossible, that was the better show versus Restaurant Impossible.

    *Waits for the party Piggy's planned, try saying that five times fast.
    More please.
  18. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    This idea actually occurred to me while on a bike ride, probably because I was passing by a basketball game. Then the whole thing snowballed from there and I knew I had to somehow get this in here.

    I wasn't sure if anyone would buy the fact that adult Scooter would get so hormonal, but I couldn't get it out of my head.

    I think I've been saving my best lines for Floyd. He really is the older brother/uncle that is just out to embarrass Scooter the best way he can.

    The idea of the three of them (Piggy, Janice, and Camilla) being this unstoppable team has grown on me. I think it's a combination of my own idea of Piggy and Janice being close to Scooter and Aunt Ru's Fozzie's Angels idea, but the thought that regardless of the person, the Muppets can be extremely protective of each other.

    I'm actually not sure if Chef Ramsey could take Piggy; not that I wouldn't want to see it, but I don't think it could happen.

    The Swedish Chef with his own show? I'll buy that for a dollar!

    AGH! I've got a couple of those as I've re-read and posted, but obviously I haven't caught them all. I apparently use 'that of' a lot; why? I don't know. It apparently makes sense to me. Why? I don't know.

    But I'm glad you're enjoying it!
  19. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Petitions for more of der Tango fic. Oh please, don't leave this monster deprived of good fic! Post more!
  20. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Working on it! In fact, I might just post what I have. Actually, I think I could finish this here and then start on a new chap. The zany get going!

    Chapter V

    Thirty minutes earlier

    Scooter was nervous and by his account, rightly so.

    For most of the day, he had been obsessed with going over all the things that could possibly go wrong with this night. Not normally prone to worrying so much, the redhead had actually built up a full steam engine train of thought that had quickly gotten away from him.

    In his panicked state, he very nearly called the whole thing off, sending text message after text message to Piggy, begging her to not let them go through with this. He had begged her to think of his happiness and that whatever she thought of Amanda, she needed to keep to herself and – dear heavens – not to do anything harmful to the girl.

    The reply text was a simple and utterly sweet demand that he ‘get a grip!’ and calm down, stating that he was the one who would find himself in trouble if he didn’t leave her alone and let her plan this dinner that he had proudly agreed to when they set it up just one week ago. Scooter wisely chose to back off after that.

    Now, with about forty-five minutes to go, the stage manager had no choice but to carry out their planned dinner extravaganza. Checking himself over before getting out of the car, Scooter made his way to the door of Amanda’s apartment building.

    Knocking twice, he patiently waited either for the door to open or to be invited in. Amanda chose for the former, opening the door to reveal a vision of loveliness that Scooter had yet to see. Dressed in a red patterned sun dress, the Whatnot had elected to let her hang down about her shoulders. “Hi.”

    Scooter had to resist the urge to turn around; was this gorgeous creature talking to him?
    “You’re a little underdressed, aren’t you?”

    “It’s…it’s…” he stammered. “Just…dinner at Piggy and Kermit’s.” He didn’t think he needed to get very dressed; he thought he looked very nice in a black polo and khaki shorts. It was just dinner at Kermit and Piggy’s! But now as he had seen what she was wearing, maybe he was a little too casually dressed.

    “I like it though,” she was saying, doing that thing she did that made him forget what it was they were talking about. Amanda was very much a touchy-feely person, who always seemed to be touching him ever so discretely. Not that he minded, of course! Because he didn’t, not at all.

    “You know,” he whispered, pulling her closer until they were mere inches from each other. “We don’t…we don’t have to go. We could…just stay here.”

    While the idea of spending a quiet night, alone, with Scooter Grosse was beyond appealing, Amanda was all too aware that a certain diva pig would probably not like the idea. “I’m not sure Miss Piggy would like that,” she whispered, brushing her lips lightly against his.


    “Your mother from another brother.”

    Whatever romantic mood Scooter had been in, he was quickly out of. Pulling back in surprise, he said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

    She gave him a shrewd look, but didn’t push the matter. After all, it was only her observations and the last thing she wanted to do was alienate this great guy over something she was perceiving.

    “Nothing, baby,” she cooed, delivering a kiss to his cheek. “Ready to go?”



    If the power couple were surprised to see the door opening, they didn’t show it; another person however was easily heard to be admonishing the one who had opened the door in the first place.

    “You can’t do that!”

    “I have a key!” retorted the second person. “I do this all the time.”

    “Yes,” Piggy replied, as she and Kermit headed towards the younger couple. “But most do not do so when invited for dinner.”

    “I have a key,” Scooter stressed, holding up said key and key chain. “That you gave me, I might add.”

    “Next time, knock,” the pig huffed, offering her cheek for the go-fer.

    “Hello, Piggy.”

    “Thanks again for inviting me,” Amanda replied, politely.

    “Sure,” Kermit shrugged. “It was the perfect excuse for Piggy to throw a dinner and invite Wolfgang.”


    “You got Wolfgang Puck to cook!?”

    “Why are you so surprised?” Piggy asked, slightly annoyed. “Of course I would get one of the world’s greatest chefs to come and cook. Why wouldn’t I do that?”

    “Piggy, I’m looking for your spices and can’t find them!”

    “Yes Wolfie, dear,” Piggy replied, patting Kermit on the shoulder as she began to head for the kitchen. “Kermie, be a good little host while Moi is straightening things out with Wolfie, okay?”

    Thankfully, she missed him giving her a smart salute. “I guess this is where I offer you the little cheesy cracker things and a glass of something to wash it down,” the frog chuckled.

    Before Scooter could respond with a well-placed comment, the chime to the Kermit and Piggy home rang. “Are you expecting someone?” the go-far asked, confusion on his face.

    “I’m not,” Kermit said, heading for the door. “You never know about the pig.”

    Opening the door revealed the one and only funny bear, Fozzie. Seeing his best friend answer, the bear quickly launched in a series of jokes, one-liners, and other comedic quips that were coming a little too fast and a little too furious for Kermit to follow.

    “Fozzie!” he cried, grabbing the bear by the arms and shaking him slightly. “Slow down! I have no idea what you’re talking about and I missed everything after ‘Frog of my heart’ something something.”

    “Sorry Kermit,” the bear apologized. Nodding to the others, he said, “Sorry guys. Uh…guys? What’re you doing here?”

    It was at this time that Fozzie realized that he had intruded on…something. Fozzie had been to this particular house before, many times in fact, and he certainly was familiar with the people in the room; it was all these things that caused him to wonder what was going on. Though comedy ran in his veins, Fozzie was still a bear and it was these instincts that provided him the sense needed to solve this mysterious mystery.

    First, there was a lot of cooking going on in the kitchen and from the smell of it, it was something good. Next, was the way everyone was dressed; though Fozzie hadn’t known Amanda for very long, he did know Kermit, Scooter, and Piggy. He anticipated Piggy looking dapper – a nice blue silk blouse with black dress slacks – however Kermit and Scooter were usually low key, but now they were both dressed up.

    “Oh no,” he whispered. “I’ve come at a bad time. Oh Kermit, I’m so sorry!”

    “Fozzie, it’s okay…”

    “No, no,” the bear bemoaned. “I’m a horrible friend!”


    “Why is the bear here?”

    The quartet turned to see the hostess standing by the rounded booth table that was settled in the kitchen. “Piggy, I’m so sorry!”

    “I was just telling Fozzie,” Kermit interrupted. “That there really wasn’t an issue…”

    “I bet he hasn’t even eaten yet,” Scooter piped up.

    And how true he was! At the mere mention of food, along with the heavenly smells, reminded the bear’s stomach that in his excitement on getting more choice material, as well as his haste to get to over to show them to his bestest frog friend forever, he had forgotten to eat lunch.

    And now he was about to miss dinner.

    That was when Fozzie utilized his puppy bear eyes; and then he enacted his telepathic communication powers.


    Piggy looked at him. No.

    I’m so very hungry.

    You should have eaten lunch. This is a private dinner.

    Please Piggy! I don’t do good pollywog eyes like Kermit does, but I can make him do them.

    Piggy narrowed her eyes. You wouldn’t dare.

    I’m a hungry bear. I’ll do anything.

    Piggy sighed in such a way that was one part exasperated and one part amused, but she none the less pointed to him and then to a spot on the bench.

    “Piggy, you are totally the best person ever!” Fozzie announced, taking his assigned seat.

    “I so totally already know that,” came the response.

    The banter was friendly and on familiar ground. Scooter slid a look over to Amanda, watching to see if the addition of the bear had dampened her spirits any. Truth be told, Scooter was actually quite happy that Fozzie had stopped by; it meant that the night would hopefully not be as dreadful as he had feared earlier.

    But as soon as that thought entered his mind, Scooter was reminded why he had been fretting in the first place; it was fairly typical for various Muppets to just drop by without warning. He had gotten used to that, in fact he had been known to do that from time to time, but some people didn’t take to people just coming by without announcing themselves. Add in the fact that apparently Fozzie had been directing some of his jokes – the really bad ones – towards Amanda…the stage manager couldn’t tell if she was actually enjoying them or if she was just being polite by laughing.

    The dread that this was causing only heightened when not even twenty minutes went by before the chime on the door went off again. Piggy answered it this time, leaving the five star chef in capable pots and pans in the kitchen. Opening the door revealed the resident pianist for the Muppets, Rowlf the Dog.



    “What’re you doing here?”

    “You asked me to come by,” replied the dog. Holding up a folder of sheet music, he continued with, “Remember? You wanted to go some songs for next week’s show?”

    The look of realization slowly dawned on the diva before she made a slight face at forgetting. “That…was today?” she asked, uncertain.

    “Geez, you’re getting as bad as the frog,” the dog quipped.

    “I’m standing right here.”

    “To answer your question,” Rowlf continued. “Yes, that was today.” Looking past her to where the others were and hearing the sounds of someone in the kitchen, he asked, “You having a party or something?”

    “No,” Piggy replied. “Just dinner…”

    “Oh, I love dinner!” the dog chuckled. “I try to eat it every night.”

    The diva rolled her eyes before tugging on the brown dog’s arm to lead him inside. “I can’t believe I forgot about tonight,” she was muttering, as the two walked over to the table booth where the others were.

    “I’d fire your assistant,” Rowlf replied, sending a playful pat on Scooter’s cheek as he stood next to the stage manager.

    “Very funny,” the manager groused.

    “Well,” Piggy said, looking the group over. “Looks like it’s going to be six to tango tonight. This table’s not gonna do.”

    “What’re you talking about?” Fozzie asked. “We’ve sat six in this before.”

    “Yes,” Piggy sighed, in such a manner that conveyed that she thought the bear an idiot in this instance. “For script readings; dinner is a completely different atmosphere.”

    “We have that bigger table in the garage I think,” Kermit mentioned.

    “That would be perfect,” the pig said. She immediately put on a pouty look before saying, “If only there were four big, strong, handsome men around to help move it in here.”

    “No worries, dear.”

    “We got it, Princess.”

    “We’ll have it in here in no time.”

    “Sure! That’s what four handsome Muppet men are for!”

    Four easily persuaded Muppet men were quickly heading out to the house’s garage in order to bring in a table that hadn’t been planned on being used.

    “You’re good,” Amanda said, sending a look of admiration towards the diva as soon as the others had left.

    “It is but a gift,” Piggy replied, holding up six fingers for the chef to see. “Remember, Amanda dear, with great beauty comes great responsibility.”

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