Spider-Man/Muppets Fanfic: The Spectacular

[muppetwriter]

Hey, everyone.

I have got back from seeing the film, and I loved it. I know there's an alternate storyline that I can make out of it, involving the Muppets and other franchises in recent and historical popular culture.

But I should give warning, however, that most of what I'll be including into this story could be spoiler material. So if you wish to see the film or haven't seen it yet, then keep away from this story until then. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy it.

I'm just about to get started on it now. It'll be posted on this thread shortly.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Marvelous! I can't wait!

 

[theprawncracker]

Whoo!! I absolutely can't wait, Sean! Bring it on!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Why yes, bring it on... please?

 

[muppetwriter]

I've got five pages of the first chapter done so far. I should have it up within an hour or so.

 

[muppetwriter]

Chapter One​

Everyone seemed to have been sitting on top of the world in the past couple of years. Peter Parker had been able to balance his duties as both himself and his amazing alter-ego, Spider-Man, making it to class on time and getting good grades in his classes in college, along with spending more time with his dearest girlfriend, Mary-Jane Watson, who knew all about his dual life. But the greatest thing of all to Peter was how much the city respected him as Spider-Man. His jobs of stopping criminals and preventing plots from super-villains like Doc Ock and The Green Goblin had really paid off. Even the criminals seemed to have been doing bad deeds just to get a chance to meet him—case in point, an insane Muppet known as Crazy Harry, who threatened to blow up a bank one evening, until Spider-Man swung in to stop him.

“You’ve got to stop this, C.H.!” Spidey told Crazy Harry, after webbing up his entire body, just so he wouldn’t do anything else insane. “There are better ways of getting a superhero’s autograph.”

“Hehehehe!! Y-Y-Yeah!!” Crazy Harry madly remarked. “B-But couldn’t ya at least sign one on my stick of dynamite! OOPS! DID I SAY DYNAMITE?!?!”

“Don’t even think about it, you loony.” Spidey webbed up the dynamite that Crazy Harry had brought along with him that afternoon. He left Crazy Harry behind for the police to take off, just as his old partners, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable had arrived. They had gotten the information on Crazy Harry’s attempted bombing from their new trusty teammates, the Rescue Rangers: Chip, Dale, Monterey Jack, Gadget Hackwrench, and Zipper, who lived inside an oak tree in Central Park. When they saw how the insane Muppet was being hauled away, they were truly disappointed.

“Man! When are we going to learn to get our butts here on time?!” Ron yelled in frustration. “We’re missing all of the action, K.P.” Kim didn’t seem as troubled about their tardiness as he was. She calmly placed a hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder, giving him a warm smile.

“Oh, there’ll be other crimes, Ron.” Kim said. “Let’s just forgive our boy, Spidey, for actually foiling this one.” Kim gazed at Crazy Harry, feeling very curious in knowing what exactly occurred before they got there. “That is, if there ever was one here.”

“Can ya blame Crazy Harry? I’d threatened to blow up banks and skyscrapers, too, if it can get me the wall-crawler’s John Hancock.” Ron uttered, and both Kim and Ron’s pet naked mole rat, Rufus, looked at him strangely after he did. He quickly made up for his comment, once he noticed the way she was staring at him. “Well, you know…for my personal collection.”
“What personal collection is that?” Kim oddly asked him, and Ron just kept getting more and more agitated.
“C-Can we talk about this later please and just head over to Bueno Nacho?” Ron suggested, and Kim grinned at him as they walked away from the crime scene.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Outside the city of Manhattan, there were two characters standing near the side of the freeway, sticking their thumbs out for approaching vehicles of all shapes and sizes to notice, hoping one of them would give them a ride into the city. One character was a large, blue furry Muppet creature that had some purple hair sticking out of the top of his head, a tuft of purple hair forming a beard, and a bottom lip that stuck up to where his nose should be although he didn’t have one, with one tooth on the right side of it, holding up a sign that said, “New York or Bust!” The other was a small pink Muppet with a long beak, droopy eyes and magenta hair.

“Wow! It’s gonna be great seeing those Muppets again, boss.” The small pink Muppet said, and the large, blue furry one looked back at him, a bit more irritated than he had usually been.

“Clyde, you don’t have to call me that anymore.” He told his friend.
“Call you what, Butch?” After saying that, the large, blue furry Muppet known as Butch just shook his head, continuing to hold up the sign and stick out his thumb along with his friend, Clyde. “I just hope they don’t have any more rockets in their house, because stealing them gets dull after a while.”
“Tell me about it.” Butch said. “Do you realize how long it’s been since we gave up our jobs at C.O.V.N.E.T.?” Clyde, not exactly sure what the answer to that question was, pulled out a calculator and figured out the number of days, months, and years. Once Butch had noticed what he was doing, he just rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Never mind, Clyde. I’ll figure it out on my own.”
“Okay, Butch.” Clyde said, pulling away the calculator, just before he and Butch noticed how one of the vehicles, a worn-out, rusted motorhome, had stopped right next to their location, much to their delight. The passenger side window came down and the first person that Butch and Clyde had seen was a ten-year-old boy with messy brown hair and green eyes, wearing a white and black t-shirt and dark green cargo pants. He didn’t seem too interested when he noticed Butch and Clyde.

“Muppets?! Aww, man! Keep goin’, Grandpa!” Sitting right across from the boy was a 60-year-old man with gray hair, bushy black eyebrows, and dark brown eyes, wearing a Hawaiian-style shirt and blue slacks. He gave his grandson a stern look as he looked in his direction.

“Benjamin Tennyson! That’s no way to treat strangers!” The boy whose name was Ben Tennyson slumped in his seat and folded his arms angrily, while a redheaded girl wearing dark and light blue clothing and who was the same age as Ben appeared by his side and stared at the window, seeing Butch and Clyde standing there. She reacted to their presence in the opposite way Ben had.

“Aww, how cute!” She said, before pointing to Clyde. “I like the one on the left. He’s so precious.” Clyde blushed from her comments, turning his color from pink and magenta to hot red. Butch, however, was jealous over the attention his friend was getting.

“Gwen, they’re Muppets. Not dolls.” Ben told the girl, giving her an irritated look which she promptly returned. “They’re not even worth our time.”
“How can you say that about such sweet little guys?” Gwen asked. “Seriously, I wonder if you’re actually related to me and not just adopted.” Ben was about to come at Gwen with another retort, but he stopped once their grandfather spoke up.

“Enough, you two!” His voice was harsh enough to put the two children in their place, long enough for him to address Butch and Clyde in a friendly tone. “If you fellas need a ride into Manhattan, I’ll be glad to give you one.” Ben was about to say something, but after his grandfather shot him another stern look, he immediately kept quiet.
“Thanks!” Butch remarked, and the blissful Gwen pranced over to the rear door and opened it for Butch and Clyde, who both stepped inside to the crowded, cluttered motorhome. Sections of it were slightly weathered and stained (mostly because of Ben), but it felt like a very comfortable area for the two Muppet characters. Once they were settled in, Gwen shut the door and her grandfather began driving back on the freeway, heading towards Manhattan.

“My name’s Max Tennyson.” He said, and then gestured towards Ben and Gwen. “These are my grandchildren, Ben and Gwen.”
“Hey, that rhymes!” Clyde gleefully exclaimed, smiling at Gwen, who was smiling lovingly at him. “Our names are Butch and Clyde.” Gwen just instantly laughed at the names of the two characters.

“That’s so cute!!” She remarked, while Ben (who was trying to ignore the conversation by playing his PSP) rolled his eyes with a great deal of irritation.
“What’re their wives names? Sundance and Bonnie?” He murmured.

“So what brings you boys to Manhattan?” Max asked them.
“We’re goin’ to meet with some old friends of ours, just in time for the final performances of their play.” Butch replied, and Max and Gwen seemed to have been the only ones intrigued by that information, whereas Ben was too busy trying to get the high score.

“Yeah, maybe you’ve heard of some of them.” Clyde added. “One’s name is Kermit the Frog.” Gwen chuckled as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of five fresh tickets, showing them to Butch and Clyde.
“Are you kidding?!” She said with a happy smile. “That’s one of the main reasons we’re heading back to New York right now! We won these tickets through a contest posted on Muppet Central, which I happen to be a member of!”
“Really? Cool!” Clyde remarked, looking at the tickets in awe. “But you have five of them and there’s only three of you.”
“They were meant to be for a whole family, but I didn’t dare tell Philip Chapman that.” Gwen said, just as she realized that with Butch and Clyde going to Manhattan with them, there was currently a set of five people in the motorhome. “Hey! How about you guys come with us?” The two were delighted by her offer, believing that it would be of great help in their reunion with the Muppets.
“Thanks!!” They both said, taking the tickets from Gwen’s hands.
“We hear it’s a really marvelous show.” Max said, and soon after he made that comment, Ben momentarily looked away from his game and stared at his grandfather.
“Seriously, Grandpa?” Ben innocently said, before he spoke in a snooty tone. “Because I heard that it sucked!” That comment from Ben was what brought both Gwen and Max to each give him a dirty look.

“BEN!!!!”

“Well, that’s what I heard!”
“I don’t care, young man. You do not use such language when talking about something.” Max told him, sternly.
“Yeah, especially when it involves something that I love dearly!” Gwen added, and Ben turned around to face her, with a grin on his face.

“Face it, Gwen. Those stinky, talking socks are yesterday’s news.” Ben said. “They haven’t had a good movie out in years and half of the guys who made them come to life are either dead or have laryngitis from all those dumb characters that they voice.”

“Grandpa, make him shut up!” Gwen begged, starting to become highly frustrated over Ben’s hurtful words, which didn’t seem to bother Butch and Clyde too much.

“I didn’t know the Muppets were talking socks.” Clyde uttered.

“I’m just telling ya the truth.” Ben snootily said. “And they’re not gonna get much better with that Mary-Jane Watson in their show either. I hear she sucks worse than all of them combined.”

“BENJAMIN!!!!” Max shouted, and Ben immediately shut his mouth, while Butch seemed to be taking a big interest in the unusual watch he was wearing on his wrist.

“Hey, where did ya get that sweet watch, Ben?” Butch asked, and once Ben realized that he was talking about it, he placed a hand over it and coldly glanced towards Butch.
“No place special.” Ben replied. “What’s it to you?”
“Just wonderin’.” Butch said. “I remember seein’ a watch like that in one file that Clyde and I glanced into, back when we were workin’ for C.O.V.N.E.T.” As soon as the name of that organization came out of Butch’s mouth, Max reacted to it in a very uncomfortable way. He had seen a lot of intimidating things in his life, but if there was one thing that sent a chill down his spine, it was hearing the name of a group that he was all too familiar with.

“You boys…used to work for C.O.V.N.E.T.?” Max suspiciously asked, and the way he did was what made Gwen and Ben looked at him strangely, wondering where it had fit in his very peculiar life and career.
“Oh, yeah. We were practically two of the best agents on the team.” Butch replied, and Clyde negatively shook his head over his comment.
“Well, I wouldn’t say we were the best, boss.” Clyde said. “There was that one time when we accidentally spilled hot coffee on General Luft’s lap.”
“Eeesh! Don’t remind me!” Butch exclaimed, while old memories suddenly began to flash in Max’s mind, a lot of them very bad. He tried his best not to seem too angry in front of their guests, whom he was starting to become more and more suspicious towards.

“Is K. Edgar Singer still working for them?” He asked, and all of the passengers in the motorhome looked at Max oddly, finding it a little hard to believe how familiar he was with the organization and the members involved in it.
“Uh…no.” Butch said, wondering if it would be smart to tell Max the truth about Singer. “He disappeared from the company a long time ago.” It was uncomfortably silent in the motorhome for a long time, before Ben broke the silence by asking his grandfather a question in concern.

“Grandpa…are you okay?” He asked, and Max barely even noticed that Ben was talking to him, as he was looking at Butch and Clyde's reflections in the motorhome's rear view mirror.
“Yeah, Ben…I’m fine.” Max said, before returning his eyes back to the road, while Ben and Gwen exchanged odd looks with each other. Butch and Clyde, who were at first glad that such nice people had given them a ride, were starting to wonder if hitchhiking was a good idea in the first place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

When the five had arrived in Manhattan, it was late in the evening and everyone were already gathering inside the Muppet Theater, where Manhattan Melodies II was being performed to a series of mixed reviews. Peter Parker was amongst the huge crowd of characters. Many people in the audience were coming from out of town like Ben, Gwen, Max, Butch, and Clyde were. Sitting in one of the balconies were the group from Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends including Frankie Foster, Madam Foster, Mac, Blooregard Q. Kazoo, Mr. Herriman, Wilt, Eduardo, Cheese, and Goo, who were invited on behalf of their old friend, Gonzo (who frequently visited their mansion near Westchester). Somewhere close to the stage was a small and peculiar family from Hawaii, going by the names of Lilo—a nine-year-old Hawaiian girl; Stitch the family’s blue-colored “dog”; Pleakley, a thin, green, one-eyed, three-legged “woman” with a red wig; Jumba, a round, purple, four-eyed “man” with a Slavic accent; and Nani, Lilo’s older sister and legal guardian. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, who had personally known them all from one mission that they had taken a while back, accompanied the family.

Peter was sitting at the very front row with Sean Thomas (a friendly, smart, generous, and handsomely young African American man) and his warm-hearted, stubborn, and yet attractive Caucasian sister, Alissa “Lori” Thomas, along with their adopted six-year-old muppet cousin, Stanley. They happily watched the show begin with an opening number sung by Mary-Jane Watson, who was wonderfully singing “Together Again,” an old Manhattan Melodies classic.

“I don’t know why so many people are hatin’ on her.” Lori uttered. “She's such a marvelous singer.”
“Yeah.” Sean said. “At least she has a few fans out in this crowd.” Sean’s eyes went to Peter, who was mouthing along the words to the song. He had never had the opportunity to see the first Manhattan Melodies show on Broadway, but had seen performances of the second one enough to know the words to the song.

“That woman’s not a Muppet, Cousin Lori.” Stanley said, just before a fat, elderly man sitting behind him leaned forward and whispered to him.
“No, but she might as well be one to end this ‘Snore-Fest’!” The man commented, making Lori a bit upset.
“Hey, why don’t you go dig your grave or something, gramps?!” Lori snapped back at him, while Sean placed a hand on her arm in an attempt to calm her down before she made a scene.
“Come on, sis.” He said. “Not in front of Stanley, OK?” Lori looked towards Stanley, who looked back at her with his tiny black eyes and an innocent smile on his face, and she was reminded of how much of an influence she and Sean were to him. She took her hands and playfully rubbed her fingers through his short and curly black hair, before focusing her gaze back on Mary Jane, who had finished her musical number. Every member of the audience applauded, at least in respect to her performance. But their applause grew louder, as the Muppets, most notably Kermit, Fozzie, Piggy, Rizzo, Gonzo, Scooter, and Rowlf stepped out onto the stage and sang along with Mary Jane.

“It’s time to play the music, It’s time to light the lights, It’s time to meet the Muppets on this marvelous show tonight!” They sang, before Kermit stepped up and addressed the audience.

“Hi-ho, ladies and gentlemen!” Kermit said. “Welcome to what will be one of our last performances for our…”

“Most sensational, celebrational, Muppetational! This is our final Muppet Show!!!!” A large title card that had the title “Manhattan Melodies” lowered at the very back of the stage, and Gonzo walked right up to it, standing behind the “O", attempting to blow his trumpet. When he did, instead of music, a strand of spider webbing shot out of it. The audience laughed at the gag, especially Peter, who knew it was in reference to him. Everyone was laughing, except for Harry Osborn and his aunt, Rachel Bitterman, who were sitting in the highest balcony of the theater and glaring intensely at one particular audience member, Peter Parker.

“Once this crap-fest is over Harry…”, Rachel looked towards him with a wicked glare in her eyes, “we’re putting you in that chamber…and giving you the same enhancements your father gave himself.” Harry smiled at his aunt, as she returned her gaze on Peter. “We’ve waited long enough to destroy this insect. It’s about time he paid for what he did to your father…and my brother.” When the audience applauded again, Rachel looked towards the stage and saw Kermit preparing to sing “Rainbow Connection” on his banjo. There was fire in her eyes, as she grinned wickedly at the singing frog…The target that she hoped she and Harry would go after next.

END OF CHAPTER ONE​

 

[The Count]

Hexcellent. But in the future, please send me your chapters first in order to take care of whatever nitpicks first... Helps cut down on the time spent in reading the chapter once and then going over the little nicks in need of touch-ups. Hope this helps and post more as I'm loving it already.

 

[theprawncracker]

GREAT job Sean! A fantastic opening! I love seeing Butch and Clyde again, you're doing them perfectly! Keep it up!

 

[muppetwriter]

Thanks, P.C. They're really a lot of fun to work with.

And I will send my next chapter to you, Count. I should have it done sometime by this evening.

 

[The Count]

OK kid... Just don't hexpect me to pay you with a subscription to the Bugle, your services as our resident Marvel/DC/Muppet chronicler are much more valued to us than that.
*Goes to check why the other authors on the payroll aren't as diligent as this guy.