Sweetums' Incredible Journey to Hollywood

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

It is 1979, the day of the first-ever private screening of The Muppet movie. The movie has ended, and Sweetums broke through the screen. All of the muppets then congraduated each other and then left the theatre.

Sweetums started talking to his friends about the movie.

"So, how was I?", asked Sweetums.

"You were great", said Doglion.

"Though you didn't get enough scenes", asked Big Mama.

"Not enough! Not enough!", shouted Animal.

"By the way", said Sam the Eagle, "What happened on your trip to hollywood, exactly?"

"Why were you late getting here?", asked Lew Zeland.

"What was Mad Man Mooney really like?", asked Robin.

"How did you get your job with Mad Man Mooney?", asked Gonzo.

"Well, let me talk about my backstory", said Sweetums.

Sweetums began his story. "I graduated from high school at the age of 18 and right after the graduation party, my parents told me that I have two days to move out and get a job. So, I looked through the papers".

"So, did you find a nice house or apartment?", asked Sweetums' father.

"Yes", said Sweetums, "But not any affordable ones".

"Why don't you live in a storage locker or a shelter home?", asked Sweetums' mother.

"Because all of the storage lockers and shelter homes are full", said Sweetums, "And there isn't a cave within twelve miles of here. Oh, and I don't have a job".

"I'll make a deal with you", said sweetums' father, "If you can find a job by midnight tonight, I'll let you stay an extra hour before kicking you out".

"Deal!", exclaimed Sweetums.

 

[Barry Lee]

Oooh, a Sweetums story! Wonderful!

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

Sweetums went out to look for a job. Since he was somewhat good at cooking, we went to find a resturaunt that was hiring. He went to the front desk.

"Excuse me", said Sweetums, "Are you hiring?"

"Let me see", said the penguin at the desk, "Hey, Mr. trump! Are you hiring?"

Mr. trump, the boss, came out.

"Uh, well, I am desperate", said mr. Trump, "Our cook Charlie just burnt himself, and we have a big order at table five. Can you cook?"

"Of course I can", said Sweetums.

"Okay, your hired", said Mr. Trump, "You'll get six dollars an hour, plus one free meal per shift."

Sweetums went into the kitchen and started cooking. he looked at the list. He had to make a big salad, two medium rare steaks, one well done rib, a roast beef sandwhich, two plates full of spaghetti, and an oyster salad. He completed the meal within a few minutes. Mr. Trump came into the kitchen.

"Hey, looks like you did a good job", said mr. Trump, "I hope that the customers are pleased".

Sweetums then ate all of the food. "Yep, they will be pleased."

"Sweetums! You ate the customers food!", shouted mr. Trump.

"So?", asked Sweetums,"You said I get one free meal."

"not the customers meals", complained Mr. Trump, "You're fired!"

Sweetums left and Mr. trump asked the penguin at the front desk, "Is there anyone else wanting a cooking job?"

"Just some swedish guy who's wearing a chef's hat for no reason", said the penguin.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Sweetums was still struggling to find himself a job. He saw a sign at a nearby building that was read "Now hiring. Humans and Pigs only." He then saw another sign that read "Open job interviews today", so sweetums went to be interviewed. He was in the office with one Mr. Shalin.

"So, you want a job", said Mr. Shalin.

"Oh, yes, Mr. Shalin", said Sweetums, "And by the way, what kind of job are you offering?"

"I am hiring puppet builders", said Mr. Shalin, "I can train you right now".

"Oh, good, 'cuz I really need this", said Sweetums.

So Mr. Shalin showed Sweetums how to make a puppet, a big gorillia puppet.

Now, Sweetums", said Mr. Shalin, "Why don't you make a giraffe puppet?"

"Okay", said Sweetums, who got out the felt and scissors and started making one, but just as he was starting, he slipped on a banana peel and fell on the table, which caused the gorillia puppet to fly into the fireplace and set on fire.

"I'm sorry, but you're not hired", said Mr. Shalin, "My sign should have said "whites only", but oh well...", he thought to himself.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Well, I did say in responce to your last outline that I thaught you'd go for someone more "racey." I didn't know you'd take me at my word though.
Anyway, it was vary good, poor Sweetums! Did you mean for the puppet builder to be Mr. Solon?

 

[minor muppetz]

Well, I did say in responce to your last outline that I thaught you'd go for someone more "racey." I didn't know you'd take me at my word though.
Anyway, it was vary good, poor Sweetums! Did you mean for the puppet builder to be Mr. Solon?

Your comment about my last outline has nothing to do with any racy humor in this story. Oh, and the puppet builder is named Mr. Shalin, as in Don Shalin, puppet builder for Jim Henson in the 1960s and 1970s.

 

[Beauregard]

Actually, as a point of interest, the racey humour isn't that humerous. The "Only men and Pigs" was funny, but going out of your way to fit in the "white" thing was a little far I think along that road.

Especially making a person like Don Shalin out to be racist.

Other than that, this is an interesting story.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

It was now 11:50 at night. It was really dark and really cold, but Sweetums was still looking hard for a job.

"It would be great", Sweetums thought, "If I could get a job in Hollywood, but it's too far away, and I don't think I could afford the transportation costs."

Sweetums was still panicking over finding a job.

"Everywhere I go, I mess up", thought Sweetums, "Mr. Trump fired me from the resturaunt, Mr. Shalin wouldn't hire me after I burnt his puppet, Mr. Fazakas complained about me messing with electricity at the electric company, Mr. Looper complained about me getting his name wrong and scarring the customers.... will there be any hope for me to find a job within 10 minutes?"

Then, Sweetums heard somebody yelling "Help!". Sweetums rushed to see what the problem was. He saw a man standing outside his car.

"What's the problem?", asked Sweetums.

"The front left tire of my car suddenly busted", said the man, "Could you get me a jack or a tow truck?"

"Well, I could just lift your car up", said Sweetums, who lifted it up.

"That's great", said the man, "can you drag it to my car place?"

The man got inside his car and gave Sweetums directions to his shop, Mad Man Mooney's Used Cars Shop.

"Hey, that was amazing", said the man, "My name is Mad Man Mooney. I own this place. I could use a man like you to work here. How would you like to work for me? You could be my jack."

"Sure, I need a job and a new home", said Sweetums, "How much will I get paid?"

"I will pay you one dollar an hour", said Mad Man Mooney, "And untill you can find an affordable home, you can live in the garage of this shop".

"Gee, thanks", said Sweetums.

Sweetums looked at an outside clock. It was 11:58, and he decided to call home.

"Hello, dad", said Sweetums, "I've got a job. That means I get to stay with you and mom for an extra hour".

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

The next morning, Sweetums had breakfast with his parents. Sweetums had a bowl of cereal and a glass of grape juice. His father had a cup of Wilkins coffee and some pancakes. His mother was on a diet, so she had a diet pepsi and a scale.

"I'm so proud of you, son", said sweetums' mother.

"I've been waiting 18 years for this day to come", said Sweetums' father, "It'll be great to have this place to ourselves again. Oh, and congraduations on your job, too."

"Thanks, Dad, I think", said Sweetums, "I'm getting paid one dollar an hour, plus tips, I get to live in the garage untill I can afford a better place, I get to work 24-hours a day as long as I live there, Mad Man Mooney will provide me with meals while I live there".

"Are you sure that you are okay living there?", said Sweetums' mother.

"Shh!", said Sweetums' father, "You might give him the false idea that he can still live here".

"The only bad thing about my job is that I'm not allowed to talk to the customers", said Sweetums, "Mr. Mooney thinks that the customers will hate my voice worse than he does".

"Well, we'll check on you every once in awhile", said Sweetums' father.

"Will you throw me a new home party once I move?", asked Sweetums.

"You just had a graduation party", said Sweetums' father, "But I guess we could celebrate you moving out".

"Thanks, dad", said Sweetums, "I think I got enough graduation money for me to spend for a year."

Sweetums packed his stuff, which included some Marx brothers posters, his pillow and blanket, a giant toothbrush, and some books.

"I'm going to miss this place", said Sweetums, "But hopefully, I will make enough money to go to Hollywood and become a star".

"Well, you make a better monster than a star", joked Sweetums' dad, who was standing by the door without sweetums knowing it.

Sweetums and his parents then went to Mad Man Mooney's shop to unpack Sweetums' stuff.

"Welcome aboard", said mad man Mooney.

"I hope you don't treat my son as badly as I did", said Sweetums' father.

"Let's get you unpacked", said Sweetums' mother.

They went to the garage and unpacked his stuff.

"I'm goign to go get some cake and ice cream for your new home party", said sweetums; father, "And I'll also get some cigars and beer for myself and whoever's the legal age."

"You know, Dad", said sweetums, "You should really stop smoking and drinking".

"Well, I don't have a problem", said his father, "I can quit anytime I want".

"Then why don't you quit?", asked Sweetums.

"Because I don't want to", said Sweetums' father.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

Guests were arrivign for Sweetums' party. Guets such as Sweetums' parents, his aunts and uncles, his art teacher, his music teacher, the local school bully, and his friends on the track team.

"I'm glad that you all could make it", said Sweetums, "Now you all know where I live, and can visit me any time".

"Jack!", called Mad Man Mooney, "You're needed out here".

"Jack?", said Sweetums' music teacher.

"That's right, Mr. Raposo", said Sweetums, "That's my job. I'm his jack." And then sweetums ran out.

"Now, Jack", said Mad Man Mooney, "I need you to move this guys car".

Sweetums moved the car.

"What a skill!", said the customer.

"Why, thank you", said Sweetums.

"I told you NOT to talk to the customers", said Mad Man Mooney.

"Oh, sorry", said Sweetums.

"Sweetums sure does seem to be working hard", said Sweetums' aunt.

"I just hope Mad Man Mooney doens't work him to death", said Sweetums' mother.

Sweetums came back.

"All right, let's party!", said Sweetums.

"Oh, Sweetums", said Mad Man Mooney, "We have a walrus who broke his car, and I need you to push it".

This constantly went on all day and night. Sweetums didn't get to spend much time partying. Soon, it was time for everyone to go.

"See you later, Sweetums", said one of Sweetums' friends.

"Later, Carl", said Sweetums, "Bye, Richard, bye, John..."

"Bye, bye", said his guests as they all left.

"Well, you did a good job today", said Mad Man Mooney.

"Yes, but I mised out on my party", said Sweetums.

"Who cares?", asked Mad Man Mooney, "We're making money".

"Well, I hope that I don't have to spend the rest of my life this way", said Sweetums, "I'd like to go to Hollywood some day. I have goals and dreams. I'd like to play an ogre in a TV adaption of a fairy tale, like The Frog Prince. I'd like to be in a stage production of Robin Hood. I'd like to play a pirate in any kind of production of Treasure island, even if I only get one major line. I'd like to be in a 3D movie, I'd like to have my image made into an action figure, I'd like to meet big-name stars like Rita Moreno, Sandy Duncan, and Cloris Leachman..."

"I'd like to meet Milton Berle some day", said Mad man Mooney, "He's the greatest".

"I agree", said Sweetums.

"Well, it's getting late", said mad man Mooney, "Good night."

Sweetums got in his bed and prepared to sleep, but then mad man Mooney came to the door.

"Uh, sweetums,we've got a customer", said Mad Man Mooney, "he's a real hippo and he ate all four of his tires".