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(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and Beauregard)
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and Beauregard)
Episode #: 38
Title: “...And Then I Wrote”
Original Airdate: 14-Aug-2006
Written By: D’Snowth
Created By: MrsPepper
Guest Star: Gonzo14
Our story opens today inside MrsPepper’s office, where the excited president of the 3976th 1/2 was on the phone.
MRSPEPPER: (On the phone) ...Yes sir, this is such an honor, and I really would like to thank you for choosing our T*K*O unit for your article! So 2:00 then? Splendid! See you then! Thank you very much! Bye! (Hangs up) Ah, publicity...if I were D’Snowth, I’d say “I feel so...important”!
With that, MrsPepper merrily got up from her desk, and even more merrily strolled out of her office, down the hallway, and into Vic Romano’s office.
MRSPEPPER: Vic dear, could I see you for a moment?
So seconds later, in D’Snowth’s office.
MRSPEPPER: I need you to get on the horn, and call everyone into the conference room for a special little meeting!
VIC ROMANO: What’s the occasion?
MRSPEPPER: You’ll see Hun, you’ll see...
So with that, Vic flipped on the P.A. system to make the announcement.
VIC ROMANO: (Over the PA system) Attention all personnel, please report in the conference room for a “special little meeting”. That is all.
And so a short time later, the entire staff met in the conference room, where they could tell MrsPepper was really excited about something...but what?
THEPRAWNCRACKER: So what is that all about?
MRSPEPPER: Here’s what this is all about: I just got off the phone with Gonzo14, chief reporter for “It’s Hard to Believe That This is a Fictional Magazine” Magazine, and he has chosen our T*K*O unit to be featured in his article about T*K*O!
Everyone else started to share the excitement now.
TOGETHERAGAIN: This is so cool, I’ve never been a part of a magazine article before!
VIBS: Yeah, me neither!
MRSPEPPER: Gonzo14 will be arriving at 2:00 this afternoon to speak with us and ask us about our work lives here at the 3976th 1/2, as always, I ask that you guys remain on your best behavior. Are there any questions?
VIC ROMANO: Exactly how will this little interview go?
MRSPEPPER: I believe he will speak with each of us individually, but I don’t know what kind of questions he will ask, or how long he will spend interviewing each and everyone one of us, but all I know is: this is sure to make Number One happy!
BEAUREGARD: Will he be interviewing me?
MRSPEPPER: Ah, I don’t think so.
BEAUREGARD: (Sadly) Oh...
MRSPEPPER: Well, I think that just about covers it. Now, we still have a couple of hours until he gets here, so everyone...get back to work now!
So everyone did just that, as MrsPepper merrily strolled out of the conference room, and back into her office, where she started to tidy it up. 2:00 rolled around pretty quickly, as a large red sports car pulled up in the company parking lot. MrsPepper peered out her blinds and saw someone leave the car, and head towards the front. With that, she strolled over to her office door, and like a giddy schoolgirl awaited a bell to ring, which after several seconds, finally did. With that, she walked to the front door and was met with chief reporter for “It’s Hard to Believe This is a Fictional Magazine” Magazine, Gonzo14.
GONZO14: MrsPepper, I presume?
MRSPEPPER: Yes, I am MrsPepper, are you Gonzo14?
GONZO14: Yes ma’am I’m here to do a story on your T*K*O unit.
MRSPEPPER: Splendid! Won’t you please come in?
GONZO14: Thank you.
So Gonzo14 casually entered the lobby of the 3976th 1/2.
GONZO14: Wow. Nice place this is.
MRSPEPPER: Oh, well thank you, our beloved custodian does a great job of keeping this place just as spick-and-span as he can. Hey, that rhymes! (Giggles)
GONZO14: Well now, since you’re the president of this fine unit, I see it’s only fitting to interview you first for the article.
MRSPEPPER: Yes of course, would you like to step into my office?
GONZO14: Sure!
So Gonzo14 followed MrsPepper through D’Snowth’s office into her office.
GONZO14: Hmm, you have a nice office.
MRSPEPPER: Thank you, thank you. (Takes her seat) Well now, where shall I begin?
GONZO14: Well, to start of, would you like to share some details about your...past? You know, get a little history behind the woman behind the helm here?
MRSPEPPER: Absolutely! Well, I’m a native from Canada - in case you couldn’t tell - I have always tried my best to do the best I could in life, and I believe that’s what T*K*O has done for me. Of course I wasn’t always a part of T*K*O, before this, I was...
MrsPepper really got into her story, so into it in fact, she didn’t realize she was more or less babbling mindlessly to the reporter, who slowly got up from his seat on the couch. A few minutes later, Vic Romano was wondering why it was taking so long. Shouldn’t a reporter spend so long with one member of an organization? Feeling a little suspicious, he got up from his desk, and made his way to MrsPepper’s office. He pressed his ear up against her office door and heard MrsPepper talking, but no replies from the reporter. He then cracked MrsPepper’s office door and peaked in to find that MrsPepper was so wrapped up into her “life story” that she didn’t realize that Gonzo14 was quietly going through her purse.
Commercial Break.
Well there she was: MrsPepper, leaned back in her desk chair, lost in her own “life story”, not knowing that chief reporter for “It’s Hard to Believe This is a Fictional Magazine” Magazine, Gonzo14, was going through her purse. Vic Romano saw all of this from MrsPepper’s office door, then busted in.
VIC ROMANO: STOP RIGHT THERE THIEF!!!
Gonzo14 was taken by surprise, but not so much that he quickly dropped MrsPepper’s purse and went back to looking like he was jotting down notes.
MRSPEPPER: Vic Romano, what is the meaning of this? Well?
VIC ROMANO: MrsPepper, I saw that guy going through your purse!
GONZO14: Ma’am, I was standing here the whole time writing down what you’ve been telling me!
MRSPEPPER: Vic Romano, you need to be more patient! If you want Mr. Gonzo14 to get to your interview, making such sensationalist claims is not going to speed things up. Now please go back to your office, and wait your turn, while Mr. Gonzo14 finishes MY interview.
VIC ROMANO: But MrsPepper...
MRSPEPPER: And that’s an order!
Vic Romano didn’t say anything, and left MrsPepper’s office.
MRSPEPPER: I’m terribly sorry Mr. Gonzo14, Vic Romano is kind of our heartbeat around here, and sometimes he lets that get to his head. (Chuckles) Now where were we?
GONZO14: Oh, uh...you were on a bus...
MRSPEPPER: Oh, that’s right. So anyway, there I was on a bus being hijacked by some American maniac, but I bravely walked up to him and said...
Meanwhile, in ThePrawnCracker’s office...
VIC ROMANO: ...I’m telling you Prawnie, that Gonzo14 guy’s no good, I SAW him going through MrsPepper’s purse!
THEPRAWNCRACKER: I believe you, but how are we going to convince MrsPepper?
Vic paused for a moment, putting his hand on his chin, then had a thought.
VIC ROMANO: I have a thought, come with me...
Back in MrsPepper’s office, she was back to babbling on about her life story. By this time, Gonzo14 had emptied everything in MrsPepper’s purse into the pockets inside his jacket. Gonzo14 was about to call a wrap when suddenly...
VIC ROMANO: (Over the PA system) Attention please, attention please, if you are worried about Beauregard getting caught in the debris from the burning garbage dump out back, don’t worry, that is all.
MRSPEPPER: OH MY GOODNESS!
With that, MrsPepper jumped up from her chair, raced out the back door and down the metal stair case, while Gonzo14 quietly headed for the office door. Once out of MrsPepper’s office, Vibs slammed the door behind him, while Vic, Prawnie, and Toga formed a human wall in front of him.
GONZO14: What’s going on here?
VIC ROMANO: The jig’s up, pal!
THEPRAWNCRACKER: We know what you’ve been doing in there!
GONZO14: All I’ve been doing was interviewing her.
TOGETHERAGAIN: Oh yeah, you seem to be holding onto your jacket pretty tightly...
GONZO14: It’s uh, a little habit I have. Hard to break you know.
VIBS: Nice try bucko, you’re not going anywhere until we see what’s in your jacket!
Meanwhile, out back...
BEAUREGARD: The Dumpster? On fire? It doesn’t look like it’s on fire to me.
MRSPEPPER: But Vic Romano just made the announcement saying you were trapped under the debris from the burning Dumpster. What’s going on here?
BEAUREGARD: I don’t know.
MRSPEPPER: Alright! (Grabs Beau’s ear) Were getting to the bottom of this right now!
BEAUREGARD: Ow! Ow! Ow! OW! For a little thing like you, you sure do have a big grip!
Finally, MrsPepper made it back into her office to find Gonzo14 was gone. She then left her office to see what was going on, just as the others forced open Gonzo14’s jacket to reveal the following items: lipstick, a mini make-up kit, a fountain pen, a check book, a credit card, and a roll of Canadian cash.
MRSPEPPER: Wait a minute...those are my things! What were you doing with my things?!
GONZO14: Eh, I’m not a reporter for any magazine, I’m a career pickpocket!
MRSPEPPER: Vic Romano, call Officers Renee Louvier and furryredmonster to take this crook away!
VIC ROMANO: Yes ma’am!
Commercial Break.
Early the next morning in the conference room...
MRSPEPPER: (Devastated) I feel so...used! I told my life story to a pick-pocket who was only interested in my life savings!
TOGETHERAGAIN: Aw, don’t feel so bad MrsPepper...
VIBS: Yeah, it could’ve happened to anyone...it just so happened to happen to you.
MRSPEPPER: Yeah, I guess your right.
TOGETHERAGAIN: Too bad this means we won’t be featured in a magazine.
MRSPEPPER: Yeah...
Just then, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, and Beauregard walked in, each carrying a stack of newspapers.
VIC ROMANO: Here’s all the Utica Times I could find...
THEPRAWNCRACKER: Here’s the Utica Post...
BEAUREGARD: I picked up the Utica Intelligence here...
Each of the headlines on the papers had to do with the thread killers of the 3976th 1/2 helping capture one of the city’s most elusive obscure criminals.
MRSPEPPER: But at least were all fit to print just the same!
THE END
Executive Producer: Phillip Chapman
Producer: MrsPepper
Head Writer: D’Snowth
Executive Producer: Phillip Chapman
Producer: MrsPepper
Head Writer: D’Snowth
