T*K*O PRESENTS: DONTCHA JUST LOVE HOLIDAYS? T*K*O Episode Number: 20 Cast: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, Vibs, Beauregard, and Colin Mochrie as Santa Claus Original Airdate: 24-Dec-2005 Written By: D’Snowth Research By: TogetherAgain Songs: “Christmas All Over Again” by The Thread Killers, “Oh Hanukkah” by TogetherAgain, “A Holly Jolly Christmas” by Alan Jackson, and “A True Blue Miracle/Keep Christmas With You (All Through the Year)” by The Thread Killers. Based on the “T*K*O” TV Series Created By: MrsPepper Ah the holidays, the time of year where everyone is excited about everything! At the 3976th ½, everyone was busy decorating; MrsPepper, D’Snowth, Vic Romano, That Announcer, Beauregard, and Vibs were all decorating a Christmas tree in the lounge. The were all singing the old Tom Petty classic, “Christmas All Over Again”. TogetherAgain was busy decorating her office with a menorah, and mini-Christmas tree, singing “Oh Hanukkah.” Even the outside of the building was decked out for the holidays…the windows had lights around them, the parking lot was painting like Santa’s workshop, and the roof had lights set up in the shape of a Christmas tree, and a large blinking sign that said “Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah from the 3976th ½.” MRSPEPPER: I just love Christmas time! D’SNOWTH: I didn’t know you Canadians celebrated Christmas. THAT ANNOUNCER: Of course we do DS! What did you think celebrated? D’SNOWTH: I thought you all celebrated something called “Boxing Day” or something… THAT ANNOUNCER: No, that’s the day after Christmas when we Canadians are SUPPOSED to pack up all of our Christmas decorations. MRSPEPPER: Of course it doesn’t really work that way anyway. THAT ANNOUNCER: Yeah. Meanwhile in the hallway, Vibs was putting up wreaths on everyone’s office door. When she stepped into the lounge, she was stopped by Beauregard. VIBS: Hey, what are you doing? Beauregard didn’t say anything; he just looked up, indicating that she should do the same. Vibs looked up to see a mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. She then looked back to Beauregard, who now was puckering up. VIBS: Forget it Beau, I’m not kissing you! (Walks away) BEAUREGARD: And a merry Christmas to you too! As everyone continued decorating, D’Snowth was in his office, with “A Holly Jolly Christmas” playing, while organizing a special visit. D’SNOWTH: (On the phone)…Yes sir, thank you very much!!! See you then, merry Christmas! MRSPEPPER: (Walking by) Hey Snowthers, who were you talking to? D’SNOWTH: Oh no one in particular. Moments later, MrsPepper stopped by TogetherAgain’s office to help her decorate. MRSPEPPER: Hi there. Need some help? TOGETHERAGAIN: Oh no thanks, I’ve got everything under control. I’m trying to make sure I have an equal amount of Hanukkah decorations and Christmas decorations. MRSPEPPER: Is it true Jewish don’t eat ham? TOGETHERAGAIN: That’s correct; we haven’t eaten ham AT ALL!!! Meanwhile in the lounge, Vic and That Announcer were watching holiday specials. VIC ROMANO: (Confused) Which one are we watching again? THAT ANNOUNCER: I forget, there’s Tim Allen, so it maybe either The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2, or Christmas With the Kranks. VIC ROMANO: There’s Spencer Breslin… THAT ANNOUNCER: Then it must be The Santa Clause 2. Meanwhile in the kitchen, Beauregard was preparing the cafeteria for the party, with Vibs helping. VIBS: Quite a spread here, Beau! BEAUREGARD: You bet turkey, ham, thumbprint cookies, hot cocoa, hot cider, pumpkin pie, fruit salad with those little marshmallows, and by special request by TogetherAgain, latkes and sufganyot. VIBS: Latkes and sufganyot? BEAUREGARD: Roughly translated, potato cakes and doughnuts fried in oil. Seconds later, MrsPepper, Vic Romano, and That Announcer came into the cafeteria to help decorate for the party, while Vibs stepped out to ask TogetherAgain some questions. VIBS: Knock knock. TOGETHERAGAIN: Hi Vibs, what’s up? VIBS: Why do you want to eat potato cakes and doughnuts fried in oil? TOGETHERAGAIN: Because it’s what we eat around Hanukkah. VIBS: You celebrate Hanukkah? TOGETHERAGAIN: Well actually, I celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. It’s kind of complicated, but my dad’s Christian, and my mom’s Jewish, so that’s how it works. VIBS: I see, so I see you’ve got you’re little candle thingy. TOGETHERAGAIN: It’s called a menorah, and yes, on December 26th, Hanukkah will begin, and I’ll be lighting each candle for the eight days of Hanukkah. Meanwhile outside in the parking lot, D’Snowth was waiting for someone. It started to get dark, and it started to snow. D’Snowth was freezing, but he put on his ear-muffs so he could stay warmer. Suddenly, a car pulled up into the parking lot. The car then found a parking space, D’Snowth wasn’t sure if it was the person he was waiting for, but the license plate that stated “CpnHair” reassured him. He ran over to meet the stranger. D’SNOWTH: Nice to meet you sir! Were big fans of you! I sure am glad this wasn’t any trouble to you. VOICE: No problem at all Mr. Snowth. So, uh, where to I change? After a few minutes of wading around in the snowy parking lot, D’Snowth led the stranger to an outside janitor’s closet. D’SNOWTH: In here sir. VOICE: This’ll do fine, oh and you can call me… D’SNOWTH: (Interrupts) HEY! Don’t give away the secret plot twist! VOICE: Oh? Sorry, I thought this was real-life for a change. Oh well, I’m used to it. It’s what I do. With that, the stranger grabbed his bag, entered the closet and shut the door, while D’Snowth waited outside. D’SNOWTH: This is gonna be the best Christmas party ever! The snow started to fall harder, and the temperatures started to drop colder, while inside the lights were glowing brighter, and the sound of happy voices and holiday music was growing louder. Commercial break. The party had officially begun! Everyone was helping themselves to food and punch (which was restricted from D’Snowth), dancing to the holiday music, and having a great time. Walking down the hallway towards the cafeteria was D’Snowth, followed by their special guest host, Santa Claus. D’Snowth cracked open the door to see everyone having a good time. SANTA: Wow, you people know how to throw parties! D’SNOWTH: Wait right here. D’Snowth quietly made his way through the party, and got onto of the kitchen counter to make an announcement. D’SNOWTH: ATTENTION PLEASE!!! Thank you, in honor of this wonderful holiday, I would like welcome our very special guest for tonight… OTHERS: (Interrupting) KATHY GREENWOOD!!! D’SNOWTH: (Not amused) Well that’s your all’s attitudes, forget it! (Gets down from counter) MRSPEPPER: We’re just playing with you Snowthers. (Giggles) C’mon, who is it? D’SNOWTH: That’s better! (Gets back on counter) He’s big, he’s jolly, and he say’s “ho, ho, ho”… please welcome… THAT ANNOUNCER: (Interrupting) That’s you having a bad day isn’t?! D’SNOWTH: (Frustrated) SANTA CLAUS!!!! With that, the jolly father of Christmas himself busted in. SANTA: Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!! The thread killers started to get excited, but suddenly when Santa took another step, he tripped over a cord, and crashing into the tree, the tree snagged onto the garland around the wall, the garland was torn off the wall, the garland also brought down the other ornaments with it such as the wreathes, the wreathes rolled all over the cafeteria, the cafeteria’s lights flickered, as the tree crashed onto the table, table acted as a see-saw sending food and drinks across the room, and to make matters worse, when Santa picked himself up, his beard got caught on a wire hook, and tore off revealing that Santa was really Colin Mochrie. All eyes turned to D’Snowth, who panicked and ran out the door. COLIN: (Trying to cheer the others up) So, I understand some of you are Canadian? Meanwhile, walking down the street… D’SNOWTH: Oh well, this just a minor set-back, after all, this is just the first time in 16 years I’ve destroyed Christmas… D’Snowth then stopped into the ice cream shop down the street for some hot cocoa. Meanwhile, back at the 3976th ½. MRSPEPPER: What a disaster. What a mess!!! THAT ANNOUNCER: Yeah, that Snowth outta clean this mess up himself! VIC ROMANO: Yeah, this is all D’Snowth’s fault! VIBS: Yeah, he outta be dishonorably discharged! BEAUREGARD: He should be custodian, not me! MRSPEPPER: Now listen you all, the only getting discharged is you all if you all don’t shut up! Once D’Snowth gets back, I’ll have him clean this mess up, and he’ll pay for any damages, and… COLIN: (Interrupting) Excuse me ma’am…? MRSPEPPER: I’m sorry you had to go to all the trouble to travel all this way, Mr. Mochrie, but… COLIN: No, no, no! Listen to yourselves! I’m the one who accidentally tripped and knocked down all the decorations, and here you all are bashing D’Snowth! If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine! I should’ve watched where I was going, but really you all, it’s Christmas, the season of loving, and here you all hating on your own friend! Everyone started feeling ashamed of themselves. MRSPEPPER: Yeah, you’re right Mr. Mochrie, I guess we all got caught in the moment that we forgot all about what Christmas is really about... Everyone then started singing “A True Blue Miracle”. After that, MrsPepper then ordered a search party. Moments later, everyone was walking down the street, calling for D’Snowth. It was completely dark now, only the street lights, and Christmas lights lit up the night. The snow was falling harder, and the wind was freezing. That Announcer then noticed footprints leaving the ice cream shop. They then followed the footprints, across the street, where they stopped at a closed comic book store. They then headed back to the 3976th ½, still calling for D’Snowth. D’Snowth, at that moment, was already back at the 3976th ½, standing up on the roof, watching it snow. He then saw the thread killers and Colin return, calling his name. Not wanting to face his own discharge, D’Snowth ran over to the fire escape that led to the parking lot. Once in the parking lot, he dashed for the sidewalk, by this time, everyone was heading back in to get warm, until Colin spied D’Snowth running across the street. COLIN: MrsPepper, there he goes! MRSPEPPER: (Looking out the door) D’SNOWTH!!! WAIT!!! Everyone then gave chase to D’Snowth, who ended up slipping on the frozen street. On the ground, everyone gathered around him and started hugging him. MRSPEPPER: Oh, thank goodness you’re okay! THAT ANNOUNCER: We were all so worried about you! VIC ROMANO: You gave us quite a scare there dude! BEAUREGARD: You’re off model. D’SNOWTH: (Confused) What’s all this about? COLIN: It’s about the fact that you’re friends remembered the true meaning of Christmas. Because, (Starts singing) Christmas means the spirit of giving, peace and joy to you… MRSPEPPER, TOGETHERAGAIN, AND VIBS: (Singing) The goodness of loving, the gladness of living… VIC ROMANO, THAT ANNOUNCER, AND BEAUREGARD: (Joining)…These are Christmas too! ALL: (Singing) So keep Christmas with you, all through the year. When Christmas is over, save some Christmas cheer. These precious moments, hold them very dear… D’SNOWTH: …and keep Christmas with you, all through the y-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-r… ALL: Yes keep Christmas with you. A-a-a-a-a-a-l thr-ou-ou-ou-ou-oh-gh the-e-e-e-e-e y-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-r!!! THAT ANNOUNCER: (Shouting) MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!! From all of us, to all of you. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and Happy Holidays!