HELLO EVERYBODY! It is I, Prawnie! Here to tell you about an exciting new thing that me and Lisa (TogetherAgain) are doing, largely/completely inspired by these links here of some random websites countdown of the Fifty Greatest Muppets... Fifty Through Twenty-Six and Twenty-Five Through One. Anyway, we decided that we really did not like some of the ways the filled the slots, so we decided to do one ourselves! It started out as the Top Seventy-Five Muppets, but ended up exploding into the Top One Hundred Muppets, so... yeah. I think we plan on posting in series of tens, so, that's, like ten posts. (Plus the Honorable Mentions, which are in this post.) We've also chosen to give our reasoning (or something like it) for why we put the Muppets where we did. I'm the one in this color with the "P" before my well thought out and completely intelligent comment on said Muppet, and Lisa's the one in this color with the "L" before her blurb about something or another. So, here they are, ladies and germs, starting with the Honorable Mentions, The 100 Greatest Muppets in our humble opinions! Honorable Mentions Angus McGonagle the Argyle Gargoyle (The Muppet Show) L - He gargles Gershwin. P - Yes, and taught us that gargling Gershwin will always be acceptable when Mark Hamill is around. ...As long as he doesn’t do it with you. L - Indeed. Sam (Sam and Friends) P - Of Sam and Friends! He started it all! ...Did he actually have a voice? Or was he just one big lip-sync session? L - I have no clue, but I'm sure if it hadn't been for him, we wouldn't be here today. Or, we would, but it just wouldn't be the same. P - ...Yes. Joe Snow (It's a Very, Merry Muppet Christmas Movie) P - You can't have a Christmas special without him! Oh, and Mel Brooks did his voice. L - And he melted in a deleted scene, the poor guy. P - Mmm, yes. I guess it's true what they say, if you can't stand the heat, get off the soundstage. Slimey (Sesame Street) L - He's the only worm in the world whom I will ever consider to be cute. P - He's the only worm in the world who I will ever be able to understand. L - That too. Grundgetta (Sesame Street) P - I think she likes Oscar as much as one Grouch can like another Grouch. Which is right in between utter loathing and tollerating. L - And it's a heck of a lot to ask for from a Grouch. P - Oh, indeed. Miss Finch (Follow That Bird) L - I like her a lot at the end of Follow That Bird. The rest of the movie, she's not so cool, but the end? I like her. P - She was the only non-already-existant Sesame Street character in that movie I liked. Well... okay, except the Grouch waitress. L - She's just a bird, trying to do her job. P - Did you ever notice Hoots around the table at the begining of that movie? L - ...I don't think so? I think I wondered if it was him? I don't know. P - I guess it wasn't really him, but it was the same puppet. ...But he comes later, let's keep going, shall we? L - Yes, let's. Goggles (Kermit's Swamp Years) P - He wanted Blotch to spank him. And then they became best friends. ...I'll resist the jokes, I will, I promise. Anyway, I really like his poison gland. L - Oh, me too! And he's a self-sacrificing toad. "Helping a friend..." P - And the only toad to be accepted by the frogs, it looked like. L - The token toad. Great, now I'm alliterating. Stop me before I make him a central character in a story. He's an honorable mention, not on the list! P - *shakes head* Moving right along... oh dear, why did I say that? L - Because I've already GOT a story I can write based on that, and I'm listening to the Wicked soundtrack again so I won't burst into song, and if I don't, you can't? P - Oh. ...Wait, what? ...Never mind, let's keep going. L - Yes, please. P - So polite. L - I learned it on Sesame Street. P - And these are just the honorable mentions folks... Arnie the Alligator (The Muppet Movie and Kermit's Swamp Years) L - Two things. First, Arnie, meet Bernie, Bernie, meet Arnie. P - He ate Dom DeLuise, didn't he? ...I'm trying to figure out if that's a good thing. L - Don't ask. Second, "killed, and cooked, and eaten alive." And yes, I have seen that movie enough times to quote it, please don't chase me with pitchforks. P - Don't worry, we won't. We don't have any pitchforks, all we have are penguins. L - That is SO not all we've got, unless Cookie and Animal got to the muffins again... P - ...They're later on in the list too. MOVING ON... Yolanda (The Muppets Take Manhattan) P - You know, Rizzo tried really hard to get her, he even cut celery with her, if that ain't an expression of true lust, I don't know what is. L - And she stepped on his foot for it, and he kept at it. Either it's true lust, or he is one heck of a desperate rat. I like that she stepped on his foot, though. A touch of Miss Piggy in her. P - ...A miny Piggy. Freaky deaky doo! L - ...Curses, here comes another story. VIM, STOP THAT! Can we keep going? P - ...For both of our well-beings, I say yes. L - Thank you. Mad Monty (Muppet Treasure Island) P - SHRIMP SCAMPI! ...That is all. L - Oh come on, that's it? "I love to hang 'em high and watch their little feet try to walk in the air, while their faces turn blue..." Okay, THAT is all. P - That's the shortest one we've done. Good job. L - Thanks! You too. J.P. Grosse (The Muppet Show) P - I only know him through my own fan-fic, never seen him once, so I totally fabricated what I wrote. I hope it was okay. Anyway... he owns the theater! L - And he's Scooter's uncle. And you have SO seen him, just not in character. He sang in Muppet Christmas Carol. P - Oh yeah. ...He was in the background of Muppets Tonight! too. L - See? He's around. ...Or, he was. Now he's apparently dead, except for in your fanfic, where he just has a permanent business suit tan. P - You'd think we'd have heard more if he had died. Would you have gone to his funeral? L - Yes, for one reason and one reason only. P - Hmm? L - I would meet Muppets there. P - Tsk! That is so shallow! Just like in "The Wedding Crashers" where that one guy went to a funeral to pick up chicks! L - Would you have gone? P - Duh! There would be Muppets there! And maybe they'd hand out goody bags with cash in them. L - ...Yes, kettle, the pot is black. NEXT! Emmet Otter (Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas) P - He sings "When the River Meets the Sea" and apparently put a hole in a washtub. L - Apparently. Sounds awesome. We really oughta see that some time. P - Indeed. We'll have to work on that. NEXT! Tourist Rats (Muppet Treasure Island) P - "D'ese tropical boar shows are SO exotic!" "Yeah, and the food is to die for!" L - "And, here is a photo opportunity you will not want to miss- the ACTUAL jungle location for the movie, Muppet Treasure Island!" P - "HE SAID GO FASTER!" "I'M GETTIN' TIRED!" L - I am AWESOME at their voices, and I can't do too many Muppet voices, so they just plain rock. And besides... They're hilarious. P - Oh, I bet you are. L - "And maaaaaaaaargaritas at the midnight buffet!" P - How could we forget? L - We should move on before I start quoting the whole movie. P - Probably a good idea. Spa'am (Muppet Treasure Island) P - ...So much for getting away from THAT theme... L - "We see you have boom-boom sticks. ...BYE-BYE!" He's a clever one. Or at least, he's interested in preserving his own life, though Piggy- I mean Benjamina- will throttle him later, but I digress... He shouted "silence" at Kermit in the middle of a speech on equality. That takes guts. P - Yes, and he's also one of two Muppets that I know of to hold the distinguished honor of bringing about a law suit. L - And if that's not worthy of honor, in a country where McDonalds can get sued for serving hot coffee, what is? Whadayasay Birds (The Muppet Show) P - Whadidyasay? L - You know! L - Oh, really... P - Good grief. L - That's not a bird. P - Frog... bird... next! L - <laughs> Mulch L - This is all you. I've never seen him. P - Dr. Phil's hapless assistant... no, not Oprah. Oops, that was rude of me... Anyway, uhhh... he's just Mulch, recording Dr. van Neuter when he's drunk on egg nog! L - ...I won't ask. Although I suddenly remember hearing on Muppet Central Radio that all the mail was for him, and only two letters were for van Neuter. P - Yes. That too. Barkley L - BIIIIG dog! I like that guy. P - Does the poor thing have an owner? If not, I'll gladly take him in. Although, I seem to remember him being Linda's dog... is he a seeing-eye dog? He has no eyes! L - Hey, it's Sesame Street. Anything can happen on Sesame Street. Gordon said so himself! P - You're too good at this. L - Thank you. But what I'm wondering is, if anything can happen on Sesame Street, and my sister reverts to her four-year-old decision of wanting to marry Big Bird... Should I be scared? P - *blink* ...NEXT! Dr. Julius Strangepork L - He danced with Link. P - Possibly the only thing keeping Piggy from killing Link, and I have no idea how he does it. L - I have no clue, but I'm sure Link appreciates it. For that matter, Piggy probably does too. I'm sure she wouldn't enjoy jail time. P - But she'd get to spend time with Paris and Lindsay! L - ...Like I said, I'm sure she wouldn't enjoy jail time. P - Touche. Frazzle L - There's a song about him! P - Yes, and he's fuzzy and orange, not blue! Just thought I'd mention it! L - Oh thank you for clarifying that. Sherlock Hemlock P - I think I killed him... L - I think you did too. Shame on you! You've kiled Sherlock, Kermit, Gonzo's brother... At least the people I kill aren't actual Muppets! P - ...You cut me deep, half, cut me real deep. L - ...If it makes you feel better, um... By the time I've written all I've got planned, I will DEFINITELY have killed more characters than you. P - *blink* Oh, good, that does make me feel better. Well... sorta... I do have that one killing planned... and that's... pretty rough. But... umm.. anyway, Sherlock, yeah, EGADS! L - He's awesome in that one book. P - Yeah! With that one guy! L - Oh, and in that other skit, too! P - Oh, I know! L - Awesome guy, really. Awesome. P - Yes, and a lovely way to end our honorable mentions. L - Only a hundred Muppets to go, then? P - Something like that, yes. Shall we do that in some other post? L - Might as well. P - Oh, good, 'cause I'm tired and have things to do tomorrow. L - Hi tired, I'm Insane A. Sylum, and I have to drive my mom to work. P - Well then! We both need sleep, don't we! L - I suppose so. P - But who are we to acknowledge our biological needs? L - Yeah, why start now? <continues eating a peanut butter sandwich> P - *continues watching Lion King* Uh, oh yeah, th-th-th-that's all f-f-f-for now folks! L - Emphasis on the "for now." More to come! P - Yes! 100 more! May I oy? L - How 'bout I oy for you?