The Boy Who Cried Cookie Monster

minor muppetz

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Herbert Birdsfoot: Hello, folks. Herbert Birdsfoot here, and today, I am going to read to you the story of "The Boy Who Cried Cookie Monster". (scene fades to a bakery setting, with Harvey Kneeslapper behind a counter while Herbert narrarates) "There once was a practical joker...."
Harvey Kneeslapper: That's me! (laughs hysterically)
Herbert Birdsfoot: "...who worked at a bakery. While he liked his job, he often pulled practical jokes on his customers."
(Fat Blue walks in)
Fat Blue: Hey, I would like to buy a banana cream cake.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, I'm sorry (starts giggling), but we are all out. Martians kidnapped them (tries harder to hold back laughter).
Fat Blue: Oh, that's too bad. I'll just have to go to another bakery.....
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, wait! I was just kidding! Here is your cake!
Fat Blue: Oh, then let me have it.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Okay, here it is! (takes a cake and throws it at Fat Blue, and then laughs wildly)
Fat Blue: I never thought I'd say this, but that blue monsters service is better than this freaks service. (leaves the store)
Herbert Birdsfoot: "yes, he was the master of fooling the customers."
(Prairie Dawn walks in)
Prairie Dawn: Excuse me, but I would like to have a cup of sweet tea.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Okay, here is one comming right up. (makes the tea) Here you go, little girl.
Prairie Dawn: (taking the tea) Thank you. (takes a sip and spits it out) Eek! This isn't sweet!
Harvey Kneeslapper: I know! I made a sour tea instead! (laughs wildly)
Prairie Dawn: Yuck! (leaves)
Herbert Birdsfoot: "He even played practical jokes on his boss."
Boss: (comming in) Hey, Harvey, you've gotta stop playing jokes on the custmers.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Okay, oh, and by the way, we are all out of doughnuts.
Boss: Okay, then I'll order some. (leaves)
Harvey Kneeslapper: (to audience) He bought it! (laughs)
Guy Smiley: (entering) Hello, there, I am america's favorite game show host, Guy Smiley...
Harvey Kneeslapper: Well, you may be americas favorite, but my favorite is Regis Philbin.
Guy Smiley: (feeling hurt) Oh? Oh, that makes me sad.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, well, I was just kidding! (laughs loudly)
Guy Smiley: (annoyed) That's not a very nice thing to joke about.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like a free waffle?
Guy Smiley: Sure!
Harvey Kneeslapper: Well, we are all out! (laughs wildly)
Guy Smiley: Harvey Kneeslapper, you are lucky that I am not your boss (leaves).
Boss: (comming back) Well, I ordered a months supply of doughnuts.
Harvey Kneeslapper: (laughing)
Boss: What's so funny?
Harvey Kneeslapper: We are not really out of doughnuts!
Boss: We're not?
Harvey Kneeslapper: No, of course not, and not only that, but we are overstocked! (laughs)
Boss: (yelling) WELL, DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN! (calmly) Anyway, we just got a few jars of cookies. (puts the jars on the counter) Sell these cookies, and no more pranks. (leaves)
Harvey Kneeslapper: Okay, I've really got to sell these.
Cookie Monster: (comming into bakery) Hey! Are those cookies?
Harvey Kneeslapper: Yes, they are!
Cookie Monster: Cowabunga! (takes all of the cookies and eats all of them, then leaves)
Harvey Kneeslapper: Hey, wait a minute! You've gotta pay for those!
Boss: (Comming in) Oh, good, you sold the cookies.
Harvey Kneeslapper: No, I didn't. A cookie monster came in and ate all of them.
Boss: Allright, I have had it up to here with your practical jokes.
Harvey Kneeslapper: But it wasn't a...
Boss: I don't want to hear about it! I will believe no more of them!
(fades back to Herbert Birdsfoot)
Herbert Birdsfoot: "But eventually the boss decided to give the boy a chance to prove that he was telling the truth...."
(fades back to bakery, where the boss sets up a few cameras and puts a big jar of cookies on the counter)
Boss: Okay, Harvey, I've set up three cameras so that if the cookie monster comes in and eats the cookies, we'll have it on tape. I have to go to the office. (leaves)
Harvey Kneeslapper: Okay, now I am ready for this monster.
Cookie Monster: Oh, you called?
Harvey Kneeslapper: Uh, yes I did. Have some cookies.
Cookie Monster: Oh, thank you. (eats all of the cookies, then notices one of the cameras) Oh, a camera!
Harvey Kneeslapper: Yes, a camera!
(Cookie Monster eats the camera)
Cookie Monster: Oh, that just as good as cookies....
(cookie monster notices the other camerras and goes after them, eating them)
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, but you are not suppos....
(Cookie Monster ignores Harvey's warnings and eats them anyway, then leaves)
Boss: Well, I just heard munching and.... where are the cameras?
Harvey Kneeslapper: Uh, the Cookie Monster just ate them.
Boss: Oh, for heavens sake, you destroyed the cameras yourself and are trying to fool me into believing that Cookie Monster ate them.....
Cookie Monster: (comming back) Oh, here is some money (puts it on the counter). Go buy more cookies and cameras. (leaves)
Harvey Kneeslapper: See?
Boss: Oh, well, I'm sorry. I guess you are right.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Yes, I am, and I have learned my lesson.
Boss: Good.
Harvey Kneeslapper: I will never pull any practrical jokes on you ever again.
Boss: Very good (leaves).
(Mr. Snuffleupagus walks in)
Mr. Snuffleupagus: (acidently knocking over some tables) Excuse me, but do you have any cabbage?
Harvey Kneeslapper: No, I don't.
Mr. Snuffleupagus: Oh, dear... (leaves, accidently knocking over a shelve)
Boss: What was that noise? Oh, and how was this mess made?
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, a Snuffleupagus just came in, and knocked over everything...
Boss: Harvey Kneeslapper! You promised that you wouldn't lie or pull any more pranks!
Harvey Kneeslapper: But I didn't.....
Boss: There is no such thing as a Snuffleupagus, either! You are fired!
(fades back to Herbert Birdsfoot)
Herbert Birdsfoot: And the moral of this story is to not lie or pull practical jokes.
Harvey Kneeslapper: (comming back) Actually, the real moral is, your boss will always assume that you are lying, especially if he does not believe in Snuffleupaguses.
 

minor muppetz

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I was thinking about my story today, and I thought of something that might have been better than Herbert Birdsfoot reading the story. Maybe it would have been better to have had Bert read the story to Ernie, possibly after Ernie played a trick on Bert.

I also thought of another way to have ended this. After Herbert says what the moral is, I could have had Harvey appear and say, "No, the moral is, even liars tell the truth!"
 

mikealan

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I don't get that story. I think on what we saw on "The Boy Who Cried Monster" sketch was where a small Hot Pink boy keeps on calling "MONSTER!" right after the AM's told him to say it when they see Cookie Monster stealing cookies but then they get annoyed right after the boy sees Cookie.
 

mikealan

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P.S.: I would write myself a story where Harvey would pull out lies and pranks at a fast-food restaurant which was called "The Restaurant That Almost Went Bankrupt."
 
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