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The corny joke thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kiki, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. Kiki

    Kiki Active Member

    lol, I dunno! I thought it would be funny to post some of our corny/cheesy/bad jokes. :smirk:

    Who's got one?? ;)
  2. Kiki

    Kiki Active Member

    'Kay. I've got one, and it's a shocker. I hope I don't get in trouble. :o ;)

    Rightio, a guy goes to the doctors with a steering-wheel in his pants (don't ask). When he gets there, he says to the doctor "Doctor doctor, there's a steering wheel in my pants, it's driving me nuts!"

    BA-DOOM-CH!
























    Ooh, did I say that load? *vanishes*. 0_o
  3. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    Well I thought it was kinda amusing Katie. :) I didn't think it was too bad for our forum. But that's just my opinion.

    Anyway I could certainly post a couple of corny jokes from time to time.

    Why did the cat cross the road?
    Because he was handcuffed to the chicken.


    GROANS AND MOANS FROM THE STANDS :crazy: Sick wasn't it?;)

    Another one some other time.
  4. MuppetsRule

    MuppetsRule Active Member

    This mother potato has three daughters.
    First day, the first daughter comes home and says, "Mom, Mom, I'm getting married."
    Mom says, "To who?"
    Daughter #1 says, "To Idaho Potato."
    Mom says, "I'm really proud, that's a very nice and famous Potato family."
    Second day, daughter #2 comes home and says, "Mom, Mom, I'm getting married."
    Mom says, "To who?"
    Daughter #2 says, "To Ore Ida Potato."
    Mom says, "I'm really proud, that's a very nice and famous Potato family."
    Third day, daughter #3 comes home and says, "Mom, Mom, I'm getting married."
    Mom says, "To who?"
    Daughter #3 says, "To Dan Rather."
    .
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    Mom says, "Oh, he's just a common tater" :o
  5. Faylo

    Faylo Member

    Where does the Colonel keep his armies??













    IN HIS SLEEVIES!
    :D
  6. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    And what does the Colonel use his armies for??







    TO HOLD HIS HANDIES IN PLACE!
    :D
    I just couldn't resist that one Faylo
  7. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    My Grade 7 English teacher told us these stories (and to make them more interesting I will post them in to separate posts...

    There once was a highly established architect who would build big beautiful houses that were worth a lot more than the cost it was to build them in the first place; a very wealthy man had heard of this architect and wanted to see what he could so he talked with him and said "if you can build me a million dollar house with every piece of material you have, I'll pay you double the amount, but if I find one piece of material that hasn't been used you will not receive so much as a penny!" So the architect worked for months at building a big beautiful million dollar house for his new ritzy client; he made plans, made designs, made inventories on what he had to work with, and within a matter of three months he was finished. There in front of him stood a beautiful and majestic million dollar mansion, yes the architect really out did himself this time... but he couldn't help but feel like something was wrong, and there in the front yard he found a brick, a brick that could cost his double than what the house is worth, so he grabbed it and tried to hide it somewhere but it was too late, his rich client had arrived to check out his new house, but he saw the brick that was left out of the house. "A deal's a deal" he said "I see a brick that hasn't been used, so you will not receive any payment". The architect was so furious that he threw the brick into air as high as he could with all of his might!
  8. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Now here's the story of a lady and her beloved pet duck, the duck was like a child to her, she loved it so much. One day she received a wedding invitation from a friend of her's that lived out of state; so after making agreements, the airport allowed her to have the duck on the plane with her as long as she kept a steady eye and hand on it. Unfortunately, across the aisle from him was a man smoking a huge cigar; the poor woman had lost a lung in the past and breathing was a difficult thing to do, so she asked him politely "excuse me sir, but I hate to seem like a bother, but I have trouble breathing, so would you mind putting out your cigar please?" the man replied coldly "if you're going to keep that duck on this plane, then I'm going to keep smoking this cigar!" It became an incident that lured the attention of a couple of stewardesses who came to help: the man simply would not put out his cigar until something was done about that duck; by this time the woman was desperate, she was about to black out, the stewardesses convinced her that a duck can fly and that her life was more important that that of a duck, so she sadly agreed and the duck and the cigar were tossed out the door. The woman was devasted, she had lost he faithful pet duck... her baby... and she cried for the rest of the trip. An hour later the plane was arriving at the airport, but something awkward about the plane caught everyone's attention: they were staring and pointing at the plane, but the captains, stewardesses, even the flight attendants couldn't figure out why people were pointing and staring at their plane. Once the plane had come to a landing and everyone got off board, their suspicions were confirmed: there sitting on the tail of the plane was the duck, and guess what was in the duck's mouth?
  9. Beakerfan

    Beakerfan Active Member

    (My apologies to any blondes, but I just had to tell this!) This blonde was walking down the street, and she saw a horse up a head. It was saddled and ready to go, so she decided to get on. The horse began to walk, the trot. Then, all of a sudden, the horse was out of control! It began running at full speed, moving so fast the blonde could barely hold on! She finally lost her grip, falling to the ground. Her foot got caught in the stirrup, though, and she began dragging on the ground, screaming "Help! Help! Somebody!" Everyone along the street stopped and stared at her as her head bounced on the ground. She continued screaming, desperately trying to free herself. She was just about to give up when.......


















    ....................................


































































    the manager of Wal-Mart ran outside and unplugged the toy horse.
  10. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    I hate dumb-blonde jokes, they're so... corny!
  11. Beakerfan

    Beakerfan Active Member

    :) Aren't they great?
  12. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Not really.

    So does anyone want to take a guess at what the duck had in his mouth?
  13. Beakerfan

    Beakerfan Active Member

    the cigar!
  14. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

  15. travellingpat

    travellingpat Active Member

  16. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

  17. Beakerfan

    Beakerfan Active Member

    A parachute?
  18. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Nope again.

    Anybody else want to guess, or shall I go ahead and tell you all what the duck had in his mouth?
  19. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    I would have thought the duck was smoking the cigar myself.;)

    I honestly cannot even begin to imagine.....

    Oh unless it was the brick that was thrown up into the air from the previous little story.:confused: :)
  20. Bill Bubble Guy

    Bill Bubble Guy Active Member

    Well Snowthy ol'pal.

    I'm dying to know whether I've guessed right or not :D


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