The corny joke thread

[MartyMuppets]

If a thing looks like a banana and it tastes like a banana, how can you be sure it really is a banana?












































































































Listen carefully. If it makes a noise like a banana, then it's a banana fersure.

 

[D'Snowth]

Today I was browsing for some furniture for my room, a store employee was showing me some of the different dressers and chesters they had available, then he was asking me what kind of wood I prefer, "how do you like redwood?" he asked "personally, I'm more fond of Greenwood myself" I replied.

 

[Beakerfan]

*snorts* heehee!

 

[Katzi428]

YEESH! That's gross!

What's the absolutely worst possible thing you can buy from a second-hand store?















































































Toilet Paper. eeeewwwww!

 

[MartyMuppets]

YEESH! That's gross!

Funny thing is I was telling a couple of my jokes in this thread to my friends at the Catholic youth group tonight and this was one of them, and one of them said that it certainly would be the worst thing you could get second-hand unless it just so happened to be un-opened and sold second-hand. In other words un-used

 

[MartyMuppets]

A male and a female mountain climber had just finished reaching the top of a very high mountain and were resting with their knapsacks by their feet. Their buddy, another male climber was just preparing to finish his climb and join them when suddenly he fell screaming to his death.
The female climber cried "Oh good heavens. The rope has come undone and Jack is falling off the mountain. Poor Jack. He's a goner."
And the other male climber added "Oh poor Jack indeed. But you had better watch your step very closely when we're ready to climb back down....Jill."

 

[MartyMuppets]

I see this thread has lain dormant for quite awhile now. So here's something to bump it up. It's not really a joke as such but it's a corny rhyme I always love to tell that I made up myself.

Dan-Dan the Lavender Man,
Washed his face in a frying pan,
Shaved himself with an electric fan,
And bathed all day in the dunny can. (Aussie slang for the toilet bowl)

 

[D'Snowth]

That doesn't also happen to be Dan-Dan the Strawberry man, does it?

 

[MartyMuppets]

Actually the part about Dan-Dan the Lavender Man comes from a comic character from the 1970's over in Britian that I've heard about.

I don't know anything at all about the Strawberry Man.

 

[D'Snowth]

I don't know anything at all about the Strawberry Man.

You've been here for over a year and you don't know anything about Dan?