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The Infamous Rubber Chicken...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Fozzie Bear, May 12, 2002.

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  1. Fozzie Bear Moderator

    HIYA!

    Well, I think everyone should remember by now me and my constant ranting about my Rubber Chicken.

    Indeed, throughout history--well, since the creation of them to begin with--rubber chickens have been a staple of the comedy circuit. In ancient Rome, as a matter of fact, the rubber chicken was used as a device for catapults and cannons.

    Had it not been for the rubber chicken, the Michellen Man would have starved long ago.

    And, believe it or not, the rubber chicken was responsible for the end of World Wars One and Two...that's right. I can't think of any reason to tell as to HOW, so give me some time to make something up.

    At any rate, in more recent times, I have used my Rubber Chicken as a means to make jokes or gags...or jokes that make you gag...here at Muppet Central; I threatened to smack Brian Henson in the back of the head with my rubber chicken when the EM.TV deal was made, and have threatened others here with my rubber chicken as well.

    Today, after posting to Frogboy, and finding my rubber chicken behind a chair here in my room (that chicken gets around), I have found a horrible disease on my chicken. No, it isn't salmonella; worse:
    DRY ROT!!

    It's gotten that old that the poor thing is dry-rotting, and soon will be rendered useless. SO, I go to the store to get a new one, and guess what? They all have sound boxes in them and cost almost $10!! What happened to the good old days when you could get a quiet little rubber chicken for $3? Do they have to make ALL great toys talk now?

    So, in mourning over my rubber chicken, I do make this post. Tomorrow, or soon after I return from my vacation, I will bury my rubber chicken to the scrap yards of the rubber recycling...thing.

    *SIGH!* Another great history meets its end, and the closing of a great friendship between me and my rubber chicken is upon us all.

    FOZ:(
    Fozzie Bear, May 12, 2002
    #1

  2. Jessie New Member

    Foz

    You should cut off one of it's feet to remember it by or something before you bury it.

    Just try to find one that is dry-rot-less.
    Jessie, May 12, 2002
    #2

  3. EmmyMik New Member

    You know, I know a store that not only sells rubber chickens, but rubber fish and pigs as well...

    Or is it too soon to start talking about "replacements"?

    :D
    EmmyMik, May 12, 2002
    #3

  4. Jessie New Member

    Emmy

    I think there has to be a certain "mourning time" for these things :0)

    Maybe we should hold a ceremony...
    Jessie, May 12, 2002
    #4

  5. Zack the Dog Active Member

    Kevin,I give my condolance

    I'm sorry about your rubber chicken, I have a rubber chicken (i got last christmas) and he's really sorry to hear about your chicken too.

    Zack)Rowlf the, I guess every rubber chicken ends up in that big used rubber tire in the sky,Dog.
    Zack the Dog, May 12, 2002
    #5

  6. Fozzie Bear Moderator

    Thanks...

    I appreciate everyone's concern about the Rubber Chicken.

    I wouldn't want to cut off its leg or foot cause that would be too...voodooey.

    Yeah, I'm gonna have a simple little service for it. Me, Muley, my turtle, Humphrey...

    At least I still have my rubber bass from New Orleans. But, it's just not as funnee.

    So, Emmy, is that store still selling them---you know, the regular rubber chickens without the sound boxes in 'em?

    FOZ
    Fozzie Bear, May 14, 2002
    #6

  7. EmmyMik New Member

    Foz

    I wouldn't know. Those chickens are *gasp* hanging. I'm short and can't reach them.

    So I can look, but not touch (they keep all of the cool hats out of my reach too)...

    :D
    EmmyMik, May 14, 2002
    #7

  8. Jessie New Member

    Foz

    LOL...voodooey...I'm 'putting that on my luggage'...
    Jessie, May 14, 2002
    #8

  9. Fozzie Bear Moderator

    Jessie:
    On your luggage? Where ya' goin?

    Emmy:
    Can ya ask 'em about the rubber chickens, please? Also, tell them to lower the hats so you can get to them and that I said so.

    FOZ
    Fozzie Bear, May 26, 2002
    #9

  10. EmmyMik New Member

    The next time I go there I will (I'm thinking about getting a rubber fish for myself)...

    :)
    EmmyMik, May 26, 2002
    #10

  11. Jessie New Member

    Luggage

    King John says that in the animated Robin Hood movie and I always thought it was silly...
    Jessie, May 28, 2002
    #11

  12. Drtooth Well-Known Member

    It really stinks that your chicken has rotted away. It reminds me of my chicken. I had one when I was a little boy, cause of Fozzie Bear (it was a christmas present). I loved that thing SOOOOO nuch. Eventually it got a hole or cut in it for some reason and I put a bandaid on it! It was lost in storage for years after. And I couldn't agree with you more. 10 bucks?!?!?!? And they only have gag talking ones and ..ehem "adult" ones. The only others I could find are small keychains or come with lolipops (ideed I have both) but it's not the same. It is a tragidy, since the Chicken is the highest relgious article to the comedian. More important than a woopie cushion. Far greater than the dribble glass. Even the Groucho Marx nose and Glasses cannot measure up to the Rubber Chicken.
    Drtooth, Jun 20, 2002
    #12

  13. radionate New Member

    Where is FOZZI3B3AR/Kevin? He's been MIA for awhile on the board. I might have to drive up to Memphis to search for him. (That could be the premise of the next Muppet Road Trip Movie, The Search for Fozzie)
    radionate, Jun 20, 2002
    #13

  14. Fozzie Bear Moderator

    HIYA NATE!!

    Glad to see I'm missed!! :)

    I've been moving quite a LOT of my stuff...all alone. Did a lot in my car, but finally got my mom's van. I'm dying. I'm dying a slow, slow death moving this junk by myself.

    I dug up my rubber chicken; i can't leave it buried where it was buried at my friend's house, and I won't bury it here. So, I just washed it off instead. I have to keep my chicken. I can't bear to lose it.

    Anyhow, there's this fun shop around the corner on Highland near Southern and I'm going there Saturday (if i get time) to see if they have old-fashioned Rubber Chickens!

    I hope, i hope, i hope...
    FOZ
    Fozzie Bear, Jun 20, 2002
    #14

  15. radionate New Member

    You have my sympathy on moving. I had to move my stuff alone last year (all my friends were all moving on the same weekend, and nobody could help the other). So I feel your pain.

    And also.......

    You are one sick puppy! But, if you need a brain I have one from some guy named Abby......
    radionate, Jun 21, 2002
    #15

  16. CaptCrouton New Member

    Fozzie,

    Don't worry. Normal rubber chickens aren't as rare as you think. Or as expensive. I just picked up two catalogs on my desk. And both contain rubber chickens.

    First, U.S. Toy Company sells them for $6.50 a piece. It's a softer chicken and not quite as traditional looking. But they have a website at www.ustoy.com

    Second, a better looking chicken (IMHO) from S & S Recreation. They have chickens, pigs, and fish for $4.88 a piece. You can get two normal chickens for the price of one stupid talking one! :) They have a website at www.ssww.com or a toll free number at 1-800-243-9232. It appears they've developed some games for using rubber chickens. Worth looking into.

    There may be other deals out there as well, I literally just picked up two catalogs at my desk and looked in the index.

    Hope this makes you feel better
    Markus
    CaptCrouton, Jun 21, 2002
    #16

  17. Foreignman New Member

    :( Fozzie, I'm so sorry, if there's anything I can do for you in this time of mourning, please, just ask. Your search for a new rubber chicken (not a replacement, for we can never replace the old one) has gotten me thinking, I think we should all go into the rubber chicken manufaturing business, that's where the real money's at. We would make only quality rubber chickens, out of the finest rubber materials. And you know how much we would charge for them, $3.00, just like in the olden days. Who wants to go into business with me?
    Foreignman, Jun 21, 2002
    #17

  18. Fozzie Bear Moderator

    CaptCrouton!

    Thanks for the info man!! I'll be sure to keep myself in the know about that info as soon as I get thru moving in to order.

    (BTW, I actually prefer bacon bits...sometimes, croutons are too hard...)(well, then again, actually, i don't use either. hmm.)

    Foreignman--Thanks for the sympathy man. I'm all for the rubber animal business. Heck, look what they've done with animal crackers.

    Animal crackers are not very good in soups, tho.

    Radionate--yes, I'll borrow that brain. ASAP please. The current one I have is going into over load.

    FOZ
    Fozzie Bear, Jun 22, 2002
    #18

  19. radionate New Member

    FOZZI3,

    Sigh, you don't really want the brain. If you were up on Mel Brooks movies, you'd realize that its an Abnormal Brain (Abby something......get it?):rolleyes:
    radionate, Jun 22, 2002
    #19

  20. Foreignman New Member

    I got the joke Nate, I got the joke, do I get a prize?!? I love Mel Brooks movies, can't wait to see The Producers on Broadway, even if it's not with Nathan Lane and Mathew Broderick like it used to be.
    Foreignman, Jun 22, 2002
    #20
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