The MARVELOUS Muppets: "The Amazing!"

[muppetwriter]

This is the first story to the Muppets/Marvel Comics crossover series that I've been working on. This particular story puts the Muppets into the world of "Spider-Man" and is narrated by a man named Sean Thomas (a character that I made up especially for this series).

The MARVELOUS Muppets
Presents
"The Amazing!"​

Chapter One (Part One):​

My name is Sean Thomas, and if anyone told you that my life was anything but ordinary and that the things I’m about to tell you are just pure fiction…well, let’s just say someone may have been pulling your leg. I’m 33 years old, and I guess you can say that I’m one of the handsomest black males in America; people are always telling me that I bear a striking resemblance to Malcolm-Jamal Warner…and they’re absolutely right! I’m one of those friendly types that are always laid back, have a great deal of respect for friends and family, and always get things done no matter what.

I work as a journalist for the Daily Bugle, a popular newspaper that almost everyone in New York City reads every single day, which means that my boss would be the paper’s publisher, J. Jonah Jameson (a flamboyant skinflint with a short black mustache who frequently and loudly castigates the employees and chomps on an ever-present cigar). Before I decided to go into journalism, I really wanted to go into a career in science to do remarkable things like come up with a new form of fusion or something. With an I.Q. of 260, you’d think I’d be pursuing such a career; but I’d rather stay out of the spotlight.

Being a journalist for the Daily Bugle has its ups and downs. The good side being the fact that my beautiful 35-year-old sister, Lori Thomas (who has been one of my greatest supporters over the years), is working alongside me as a photographer. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them that Lori and I come from the same heredity, which I can respectfully understand, since Lori is a red-haired, hazel-eyed Caucasian woman that most people say bears a strong resemblance to Debra Messing (and, again, they’re absolutely right!). Lori was a streetwise woman of integrity and kindness; though she sometimes tends to let her job go to her head, you can bet that she’ll always be there to get the scoop, as well as back her friends up in any heated situation.

However, there is always a negative side to anything that is positive, and the bad side to being a journalist in the Daily Bugle is that I’m forced to work with three of the most peculiar characters you will ever meet in New York (Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, and Gonzo the Great). Of course, with all of the bizarre stories that we’ve been digging up for the past five years, Lori and I have no choice but to work with such peculiar characters. Out of the three of them, I must say that I enjoy working with Kermit on certain stories; he used to be a reporter for the “Sesame Street News” and interviewed many nursery rhyme characters, before he became investigative reporters with Fozzie and Gonzo. Kermit is always a hard-working frog, which was the least I can say for Fozzie and Gonzo, who were two fellas that were extremely difficult to work with. Gonzo always likes doing weird things and Fozzie always has the urge to tell a semi-funny joke during the investigation (which is why Lori loves working with them).

One early Saturday afternoon at the Daily Bugle, Robbie Robertson (the Bugle’s editor-in-chief and the only employee who does not fear the wrath of J. Jonah Jameson) told Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and me that Jonah had bought us tickets to see a wrestling event in midtown Manhattan and wanted us to do a story on Bone Saw McGraw (a fierce wrestler that was six foot nine, three-hundred pounds of pure muscle) and his three minute challenge with an amateur wrestler. We all kinda doubted this so-called assignment that Jameson was giving us, seeing it as some way of embarrassing us for some strange reason; Gonzo, however, thought of it as a chance to show off his skills in wrestling, but I was luckily able to talk him out of it. The thing we didn’t realize at the time was that this assignment was the genesis of a huge phenomenon.

Lori drove us to the smallish arena in her black 911 Turbo Porsche and parked it into an extremely crowded lot of many different types of vehicles. We joined up with the thousand wrestling fans that were streaming into the arena, and we could not have stuck out any further from the crowd, especially with Kermit wearing that gray hat and trenchcoat and Fozzie with a “press” card sticking out from the band of his brown, old-fashioned hat. Speaking of Kermit, he didn’t exact take this assignment with much ease; the ravenous fans chanting “Bone Saw” (as well as Gonzo holding up a sign, with the words painted in red, which said, “We want blood!”) made the frog a bit nervous.

“Sheesh!” exclaimed Kermit, as he gazed around at the raucous people that surrounded him. “You think Mr. Jameson would’ve given us a more comfortable and kid-friendly story to investigate.” Kermit could not ignore the violent message that Gonzo’s sign was giving. “Gonzo, why on earth would make such a gruesome sign?” Gonzo was a little surprised over Kermit’s reaction.

“Gosh, Kermit,” He said, “I figured it would help us blend in with the crowd. I mean, look at everyone.” Kermit took a moment to notice some of the things that the fans were carrying with them, such as real sharp saws, blood-covered bones, and black & white makeup that made their faces look like skulls. The sight of such grotesquely decorated objects made Kermit sick to his stomach.

“Do I really have to?” inquired Kermit, as he kept his focus away from the raucous crowd. “Well, I guess there is one bright side…at least Sam the Eagle isn’t here to witness all of this.”

“Oh, I heard he’s scheduled to sing the national anthem!” Fozzie told Kermit, who had just about heard everything.

“How were they able to book him?” Kermit asked.

“You know Sam,” Lori said, “He’s willing to sing the national anthem, no matter what the occasion is.”

“But Sam detests random acts of violence.” Kermit stated. “He thinks it’s…unpatriotic.”

“Ya know, for a fella that detests violence, it sure is strange how he believes fighting for America is the most patriotic thing in the world.” I said, and Lori smiled at me, also realizing how unusually ironic it was. Once we were inside the packed arena, we were about to head straight to our seats, until Fozzie got a sudden hankering for a funnel cake, a humungous tub of popcorn, and a foot-long hotdog, both marinated with honey, and a honey-sweetened Dr. Pepper in addition. Honestly, Fozzie’s appetite is a whole lot weirder than Gonzo’s personality. Soon after he got his meal, we all went to our ringside seats and focused our attention on the center stage, where the wrestling ring was located.

Inside the ring were two wrestling announcers named Johnny Fiamma and Sal Manella, who both spoke like they were part of the mafia. Johnny is known to have an “Old Golden Throat” because he is a natural when it comes to singing on stage; he usually took gigs that involved singing, but Sal (his monkey friend) convinced him that announcing for wrestling events produced larger amounts of “green stuff.”

“Hey, hey!” stated Johnny, speaking through a microphone that both him and Sal were sharing together. “How youse doin’ here tonight? I tell ya…I haven’t seen this much blood and gore since ‘The Godfather of the Bride’.” It was obvious that the audience didn’t feel like hearing Johnny Fiamma talk, because they kept on chanting “Bone Saw!” in between his words. Johnny and Sal looked like they were getting a bit hot under the collar.

“Uh, ya better get on with the show, Johnny.” suggested Sal, and Johnny went ahead and focused on the event that was taking place at that moment.

“Right. Right.” said Johnny, and he held up a small card that he used to help him catch up with the show. “Uh…let’s see here. Oh, yeah!” Once he got what he was supposed to say, he put away the card and turned back to the crowd. “Alright. Let’s bring out the real star of this show.”

“Yeah! Yeah!” exclaimed Sal, getting real excited. “He’s the spine-crunchin’, skull-slammin’, leg-snappin’, finger-breakin’, flesh-eatin’…” While Sal was chatting away about the ruthless wrestler, Johnny and the crowd were getting more impatient, wondering when he was gonna stop talking. “…the eye-stabbin’, tongue-slicin’, nose-squishin’, vertebrae-rupturin’…”

“Sal! Sal!” interjected Johnny, and Sal immediately stopped and looked at Johnny, who was pointing at his watch and indicating that he was wasting time talking.

“Oh, oh, yeah! Sorry, Johnny.” said Sal, soon before Johnny took over again.

“Ladies and gents, it is my pleasure to introduce…Bone Saw McGraw!” said Johnny, and as everyone directed their attention to the entrance, it wasn’t Bone Saw that came into the arena…it was Sam the Eagle himself. I could tell that this wasn’t part of the program, because Johnny and Sal were looking at each other in confusion. Meanwhile, in the audience, Kermit was still impressed that Sam even bothered to show up for the event.

“This should be interesting.” He said, as Sam entered the ring, with his own microphone in his hand, which he spoke seriously into.

“Let me be the first one to say that this entire show is nothing but a mindless, inexcusable form of entertainment that I would hardly call an American sport.” stated Sam, and judging from the boos that were directed towards him, there was no doubt that Sam was the last character the crowd wanted to see. “I have been permitted to sing the national anthem for this rancorous event, but I refuse to sing such a beautiful, patriotic song to a bunch of wild animals like each and every one of…”

It was funny how Sam just happened to mention about animals, because the next person that came into the ring was Animal himself, who was working as one of the security personnel that was hired to drive annoying guys like Sam out of the ring. Animal growled like the madman he was when he came into the ring, which forced Sam to instantaneously stopped his talking and jump away from the ring and run out of the arena as fast as he could, with Animal in high pursuit. After that whole scene was over, I looked over at Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, and Lori, who all could not believe what they just witnessed.

“Wow! That was almost as crazy as the time he sang with Janet and Justin at the 2004 Super Bowl.” Gonzo said.

“He’s barely gotten over that controversial mess.” said Kermit, just before all of the lights in the arena suddenly went off, leaving us in an unbelievably pitch-black situation that alarmed Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, and Lori. “Hey! What’s going on here?”

“Gee, I don’t know.” Fozzie said. “But it sure is spooking me out.” That’s when a single spotlight came on and shined high above the arena, aiming itself directly at the ring entrance, where Bone Saw McGraw came out into the arena from to the pleasure of several roaring fans. Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I were very intimated by the appearance of Bone Saw McGraw, who strangely looked similar to another wrestler in a bigger organization.

“Man!” Lori exclaimed. “If it wasn’t for the disgusting brown saliva that was coming out of his mouth and onto his bushy beard, he’d have my adrenaline pumping for sure.”

“I’ve got a feeling that neither of us is going to like what’s going to happen in that ring.” Kermit assumed.

“I beg to differ, Kermit.” Gonzo contradicted. “I think that what we’re about to witness will be one of the greatest performances, right next to my tire-eating act.” Kermit shook his head in disgust at the similarity between Gonzo’s act and Bone Saw’s performance in the ring.

“Hard to believe that’s what’s got me shaking right now.” said Kermit, and he got even more nervous when Gonzo lifted his violent sign high up in the air, as Bone Saw jumped into the ring and prepared himself for his match with an amateur wrestler. While the fierce wrestler was preparing, Johnny and Sal (also intimated by Bone Saw’s appearance) mustered the courage to share the same radius with him and announce the match at the same time.

“Well, uh, we sure have been waiting for this moment, haven’t we, Sal?” said Johnny, and Sal nodded with agreement.

“You’re absolutely right, Johnny!” exclaimed Sal, and he directed his attention to the raving crowd that was us. “Three minutes, ladies and gents! Three minutes is all that it takes to win three thousand dollars for one match against the snarling, grotesque beast that stands before us.” Hearing how Sal described him made Bone Saw very offended.

“Hey, monkey-bones!” snapped Bone Saw, and Johnny & Sal jumped at the gruff tone in his voice, turning their attention to him. “Who ya callin’ a beast?!?!” Johnny hid behind Sal, both of them quivering with fear.

“U-U-U-Uh…what I meant to say is Bone Saw McGraw is so tough that not even a snarling, grotesque beast like Randy Savage can beat him!” said Sal, in a desperate attempt to cover his previous comment.

“Absolutely, Bone, baby.” commented Johnny, peaking over Sal’s shoulder. “Savage, Hogan, The Rock…none of those crybabies got nothing on you.” Bone Saw, satisfied with the new comments that Johnny and Sal made, turned his attention to the ring entrance, waiting for the first amateur wrestler to come out. Maintaining back to their announcing positions, Johnny and Sal headed out of the ring and moved toward the ring entrance, standing in front of large, white curtains. “Well, if our first victim can withstand just three minutes in the ring with Bone Saw McGraw, the sum of three thousand dollars will be paid to…” Johnny stopped talking into the microphone for a brief moment to peek behind the curtain and speak to an unseen person. I couldn’t tell who he was talking to, because the white curtains made it impossible to see who was behind them, and the roars from the crowd made it hard to hear what was being said.

“I wonder who the first victim is.” Fozzie said.

“Someone who’s gonna need a serious medical bill when this is all over.” I told Fozzie, just as Johnny went back to talking into the microphone, announcing the first amateur wrestler.

“THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN!!!!” He yelled, and both he and Sal moved away from the curtains, at the exact moment they parted to reveal a guy that could hardly be classified as a wrestler. The so-called “Amazing Spider-Man” was a guy that looked like he stood at five foot eight inches, had part of his face obscured by a red ski mask, and wore what appeared to be a homemade wrestling attire of a blue sweatpants, white/red tennis shoes & gloves, and a red sweater that had a fairly amusing black spider insignia on it. Everyone thought that the amateur wrestler known as “Spider-Man” was nothing but a complete waste of time, because he had the appearance of a cruiserweight that was going up against a heavyweight. As Spider-Man approached the ring and entered into it, my friends and I could not get over the height and build difference between Bone Saw and Spider-Man.

“Sheesh!” exclaimed Kermit, truly astounded. “Look at the size of that Spider-Man guy! He’s a popsicle compared to that behemoth, Bone Saw McGraw, in front of him. He’s gonna die in that ring!”

“Don’t worry, Kermit.” Fozzie said. “It’ll only be for three minutes when these two nice gentlemen fight in the ring. No big deal.”

“Yeah, but it would be a lot more fun if they had them surrounded by a giant, two-ton steel cage.” said Gonzo, and right after he said that, what else were to suddenly fall around the ring than a giant, two-ton steel cage. All of the spectators, including Gonzo, were very pleased to see a massive cage surround the two competitors. “Oh, boy! Now this is what I’m taking about!” Gonzo set down his sign and lifted his camera, aiming it at the ring and taking several pictures of Bone Saw and Spider-Man, while both Kermit and Fozzie were becoming scared and nervous.

“I-I-It’s o-o-okay.” said Fozzie, frantically containing his composure. “As long as neither one of them have blood squirting out of their heads, everything is okay.” Lori and I saw how Kermit and Fozzie were shaking with fear over the violence that was going to happen inside the ring; my sister turned to me, with a grin on her face.

“Ten bucks sayin’ the web-head’s gonna get his face mauled by Bone Saw.” uttered Lori, and I just couldn’t back away from a beat like that; my money, of course, was on Spider-Man.

“You’re on!” I acknowledged, just as the match between Spidey and Bone Saw commenced.

TO BE CONTINUED....​

 

[Beauregard]

Wha-hooooooooooo!

This is so kewl! It's beyond Kewl, and moving into the relms of Ultra-kewlness!!!!

Man, this stuff takes some beating (as does Spider-man, mwahaha).

Anyway, I'm waiting, and this is going to be some fan-fic I can tell that right away!

 

[muppetwriter]

Thanks, Beauregard.

Here's the next part to Chapter One....

Chapter One (Part Two):​

The crowd cheered wildly, calling for Spider-Man’s immediate destruction. Bone Saw roared, happy to oblige, and hurled himself across the ring; Spider-Man’s eyes grew wider, seeing the vicious behemoth charging towards him. That’s when the unbelievable happened; at the last second, Spidey leaped straight up in the air. Bone Saw passed under him and rebounded off the ropes, just before he looked up and noticed how Spidey had landed neatly on his shoulders.

Kermit and Fozzie, who had their hands over their eyes and peeking through them every now and then, couldn’t help but to move them away and take notice of some of the remarkable things that Spider-Man was doing in the ring. Gonzo, sitting in between Gonzo and Fozzie, was cheering over Spidey’s amazing agility.

“Wow!” Gonzo exclaimed. “What kind of wrestler is this guy?”

Bone Saw attempted to fall back and crush Spider-Man under him, but the web-head was too quick for that. He stretched out his wrist and shot a real web straight above him to the bars at the top of the cage, which had to be twenty-feet up. The web stuck there at the top, and when Bone Saw dropped to the canvas, he was alone.

Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo were again surprised by the amateur wrestler’s moves, but they couldn’t have been more impressed than Lori and I was. I’ve watched wrestlers do some great things in the ring, every time I cut on the television at nine o’clock in the evening; but never have I seen someone like Spider-Man do any of what he did in that ring.

“This guy isn’t a wrestler!” snapped Lori, angrily. “He’s some kind of freak of nature!” I could tell my sister was only angry because of the money that she was gonna have to give me, if Spidey won the match.

“Maybe he’s an alien.” assumed Gonzo, just as Lori gave him a dirty look that Gonzo soon noticed. “Hey, I’m not saying he’s the type that shoots himself out of a cannon, okay?”

Back in the ring, Bone Saw lied on the mat and blinked puzzlingly, the wind completely knocked out of him. Directly above him he noticed Spider-Man, dangling upside-down from his web. Bone Saw screamed in anger and leaped to his feet, while Spidey flipped over and climbed up his web strand, until he was twenty feet above it all.

“What kind of wrestler creates real spider webs?” I asked, but because of the roaring crowd behind us, neither Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, nor Lori heard my question. Of course, it didn’t really matter if they heard it or not, since no one could really answer such a complex question like that.

Soon Spidey let go of his webbing, dropping twenty feet straight down, and he landed right on top of Bone Saw, who dropped to the canvas beneath him, pinned. The crowd was freaking out and the flashbulbs from several cameras, including the one Gonzo brought, were popping, as the referee counted from one to three and declared Spider-Man as the winner. The once amateur wrestler that had turned into an larger-than-life figure in just two minutes had gained the respect from the raucous crowd; he raised his arms triumphantly.

Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I did not know what to say about the amazing display of athleticism that we had just seen. It was evident that we had the perfect story to give J. Jonah Jameson the next day at the Bugle, and Gonzo had the perfect photos to be printed along with it. After the match was over, Lori dug into her small, purple leather purse and handed the ten bucks to me, while giving me a disgusted look.

“And don’t say that I’m never a woman of my word.” said Lori, and I smiled at her, as I took the ten bucks out of her hands.

“Too bad we can’t print this into the paper.” I commented, and Kermit looked at me as if I was crazy, when he heard what I had said.

“You wanna print ten bucks into the next copy of the Daily Bugle?” Kermit inquired.

“No,” I remarked, “I wanna print the fact that she gave me the ten bucks. Until this very night, I have never won a bet against my sister.” That’s when Lori furiously got up from her chair and walked away from us, surprising Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, and me.

“Until this very night, I’ve never seen a woman so upset about losing ten bucks.” stated Kermit, and I shook my head with disappointment, not towards Lori…but myself. One of the things that forgot to mention about my sister was that she has a problem with losing; she always likes to win any chance she can get. And I should have known that when I took her ten bucks away from her…and so did Kermit. “It looks like the only thing that’ll make her feel better is getting it back.”

“You really think so?” I asked him.

“Of course.” Kermit replied. “Besides, it would only make you look like a crook, if you didn’t give it back. And the last thing you’d want to do is rob your own sister.” That’s another reason that I love working with Kermit the Frog; he always knows how to convince anyone about anything. He’s the conscience that I dreamed of having, even if he isn’t a cricket.

Later that night, as Lori was driving us towards the east part of Manhattan, which was the part of the city that all five of us lived in a crazy apartment building known as “The Happiness Hotel”, Gonzo and Fozzie were sitting in the backseat of the Porsche, while Kermit sat between Lori and me at the front seat. Nobody had said a word to each other during the trip, and Kermit reminded me of what I should do with Lori’s ten bucks, when he gently nudged my right arm.

“Oh, yeah.” I murmured, just before I pulled the ten bucks out of the right pocket of my black jeans and turned to Lori with it. “Here, sis.” Her eyes moved away from the road for a second to glance at what I was handing her, and when she realized it was the ten bucks that she gave me, a smile slowly emerged from her face as she looked back towards the road.

“This isn’t something that you convinced him to do, is it…Kermit?” She said, and Kermit was surprised over her assumption, believing that she might’ve known about the conversation him and I had.

“Uh, n-no, Lori.” said Kermit, and his stammering may’ve been somewhat of a clue for Lori. “This is all just brotherly love.”

“Brotherly love?” uttered Fozzie, somewhat puzzled, as he looked out the window. “Have we gone past the state line?” Kermit gave Fozzie an exasperated look, at the same time I had placed the ten bucks into Lori’s purse. She noticed the kind gesture that I made just for her, and her smile grew a couple of inches wider.

For a moment, my sister and I were sharing quite a peaceful moment, until we were suddenly cut off by a cluster of squad cars that seemed to be heading in the direction of the Hudson River. Because of the sudden distraction, Lori lost control of her Porsche and accidentally drove it onto the sidewalk; the only thing that stopped us was a red fire hydrant that slammed against the front of the car. Not only did the impact put a nasty dent on the grill, but it also detached the hydrant from the pavement and unleashed a geyser of water that showered all over us.

“Aw, man!” exclaimed Lori, as we all stepped out of the Porsche and saw how horrible the damages were. “My insurance is halfway to Krypton by now!” While the rest of us were gazing at the damages, Gonzo was focusing on the squad cars that were still heading towards the Hudson River waterfront.

“Only a serious crime can attract that many police officers.” said Gonzo, and I knew by the ecstatic tone in his voice that he was just itching to get in on the action.

“If you’re thinking about investigating that situation, you might as well forget about it, because this Porsche is going nowhere.” I told Gonzo, who took one good look at the front of Lori’s Porsche and then turned his attention to an approaching taxicab. What Gonzo did next didn’t surprise any of us. Once the cab came near the area, Gonzo jumped high into the air and landed on the cab’s hood, forcing it to come to an abrupt stop.

“As long as they keep on stopping, we’ve got nothing to worry about.” uttered Kermit, while Gonzo, still on the hood of the cab, turned to us.

“Well?” He said. “Are we going or what?”

“Wait a minute!” Lori shouted. “We can’t just leave my Porsche here!”

“Sis, I’m sure no one in this side of the neighborhood would steal a wrecked Porsche.” I said, and Lori gazed at her car for a moment, thinking over what I told her, and she made up her mind.

“Okay.” Sometimes it surprises me how easy it is to convince my sister about something. Before we went into the taxicab, I contacted the local auto repair shop on my cellular phone, and I gave them the location to where the wrecked Porsche was (in order for them to tow it away) and also that my friends and I would meet them at the shop in an hour.

Following the fast-moving squad cars, we soon found ourselves exactly where I figured we would end up: on the Hudson River’s waterfront. It was there when we found a ring of police cars surrounding an abandoned factory, where a Chevy had crashed into a dumpster, with the driver’s door hanging open. Radios were squawking and cops were clustering around the barricades, planning how to go in and who had to do it. Desperate to get the scoop, Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I approached a police captain and started asking questions.

“What’s going on?” That was the first obvious question that I asked the captain.

“We got word that some carjacker committed a murder/thief, just fifteen minutes ago.” replied the captain, and Gonzo was beginning to get very excited, realizing how big of a story we had on our hands. But Lori desperately tried to get Gonzo to contain his excitement, long enough for us to get more out of what was happening.

“Where was the crime committed?” Kermit inquired.

“Right outside the Victor Richards Arena in Downtown Manhattan.” That’s when it struck us hard that the whole incident had occurred near the same location we were in, only seconds after we left. Before I could’ve asked the captain another question, his eyes darted toward us, and he soon realized that the five of us were only reporters; he started to push us away from the scene. “Alright! Get back! This is no place for press members!”

“Who said anything about us being members of the press?” asked Gonzo, just before the police captain reached over to Fozzie and touched the press card on his hat with his left index finger. It was that one thing that told the captain about us.

“Oh…this?” said Fozzie, and he began to make up one horrible cover-up. “This is just something that my mom told me to wear, because…because…i-i-it helps me know what to do after I ‘handle my business’.” While Fozzie was grinning ignorantly at the captain, the rest of us lowered our heads with exasperation.

“I did not need to hear that.” I uttered, just as an officer shouted out to everyone and aimed the searchlight towards a certain part of the factory.

“Hey! Look!” He said, and we all turned our heads to see where the light was illuminating and spotted two male figures standing near an old, dirty window that was shut. It wasn’t that long before something shocking had happened, such as one of the figures falling backwards towards the window, crashing right through it, and falling at least forty feet to the hard wooden deck below.

“Wow!” exclaimed Gonzo, as we all walked over to the inert body that was lying across the deck. It was the body of a squirrelly-looking guy with hair that was dyed in a platinum blonde color, and the wicked fall that he took had completely broken his neck in half, thus killing him.

As Gonzo began taking pictures of the man’s dead body, I looked up at the section of the building that he had fallen from, only to see the second figure standing by the shattered window and looking down in our direction. I wasn’t exactly sure which of the two men was the carjacker, but I started to think it was the same amateur wrestler that defeated Bone Saw McGraw, because the second figure was wearing the exact same Spider-Man attire.

“There he is!” Those were the three words that came out of my mouth, as I pointed to where the second figure was standing. But as soon as I blinked, the man had disappeared from the spot and Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Lori, and all of the officers were left staring at an empty space.

“There who is, Sean?” asked Kermit, and even though I wasn’t looking at him when he questioned me, I could tell by the tone in his voice that he was extremely confused. Frankly, I wouldn’t blame him for being that confused, since I seemed to be quite lost myself as to what was going on and how we were gonna tell Jonah all about it the next day.

END OF CHAPTER ONE​

 

[muppetwriter]

The plot thickens in the next chapter of this tale.

Chapter Two:​

The next day at the Daily Bugle was quite a dozy; I remember us telling Jonah everything that happened the other night, from the wrestling event to the carjacking incident that occurred afterwards. Jameson had shown more interest in the carjacking incident than he did in the wrestling event, which pretty much told me that we did the right thing following the police to the scene at the abandoned factory. We really owed Gonzo one for convincing us that it was an excellent idea.

When Jonah asked if we had taken any pictures from the crime scene, we couldn’t have been happier to give him the copies that Gonzo made especially for him. Usually when Jonah analyzed a Bugle photographer’s pictures, he’d make offensive comments about them and then congratulates the photographer for taking them. However, the story with Gonzo was the complete opposite; whenever he analyzed his pictures, Jonah would first make pleasant comments about Gonzo’s photos and then tell him to do a better job next time.

“Sure thing, Mr. Jameson.” Gonzo would always say this with affirmation, even though he had no idea what made his previous photos so bad.

After analyzing the photos (which were actually of the squirrelly-looking fella with the platinum blonde hair and not of the other guy, Spider-Man), Jameson then asked us basic things about the story, like: “Where did it happen?”, “How did it happen?”, and “Who was responsible?” However, on that particular day, he just came right down and asked one simple question.

“So who was the carjacking murderer?” He said, and his question seemed a little…no, very puzzling to us.

“Uh, what do you mean, Mr. Jameson?” asked Kermit, sincerely. “The photo of the carjacker is right there.”

“No, Mr. The Frog…” said Jameson, while Kermit was quick to correct him about his name.

“It’s, uh, just Kermit, sir.” insisted Kermit, and Jameson gave him a blank stare that told Kermit that it really didn’t matter what name he preferred to go by. “Um…” Kermit swallowed hard under his nervousness, “You were saying, sir?”

“You five gave me photos of a dead man that you claimed was the carjacker.” Jameson indicated. “But right now, I’m under the influence that this deceased man is not the murderous carjacker.”

“But the police said that he was the only suspect at the scene.” I said.

“The police also said that two men were spotted inside the factory at the scene, just before the one man fell out the window.” Jameson stated. “Now how are any of us supposed to know that the one suspect at the scene is the real culprit of the crime?”

“The description they had of the carjacker they were looking for matched the identity of the man that died at that scene.” Lori told Jonah. “Wouldn’t you think that’s enough proof as to who the real culprit is?”

“What I think is that this second weirdo that was at the scene is a murderer himself!” Jameson exclaimed. “He murdered the murderer, which pretty much makes him a murderer himself.” At that moment, I wanted to tell Jameson that he may’ve been right, because the second guy that I spotted in the previous night was one of the contestants from the wrestling event and that his name was Spider-Man. I refused to tell him at that moment, only because I wanted to be sure if Spidey was really who I believed him to be.

“Well, what do you want us to do, Mr. Jameson?” asked Kermit, and Jonah took his time thinking up an answer to Kermit’s question, as he sucked on his huge, brown cigar and blew out a lot of gray smoke from his mouth. That’s when he finally came up with a good reply.

“A raise!” He said, and the five of us were pleased to hear that, until he afterwards added, “Yeah! A two percent increase in your salary.” What was so disappointing to us about that raise was the fact that Jameson wasn’t even paying us that much anyway! All we got for working ten hours a day was twenty dollars, and that even wasn’t enough to pay for our rent at the “Happiness Hotel.”

“Sounds…great…sir.” I said, unenthusiastically, and Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Lori were sharing the exact same feeling I was.

“Good!” Jonah remarked. “Now get out of my office, before I change my mind.” We were on our way out of Jameson’s office, until the phone on Jameson’s desk rang, and he picked up the receiver to speak to the person on the other line. Before we even made it out the door, Jameson pointed to us and called us back in for something, right before he got done talking to the caller and hung up the phone.

It turned out the person on the other line was the same police captain that we met last night near the abandoned factory. He and some fellow officers were doing some investigating at the scene, and they needed Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and me to go over there and help them out, since we happened to be at the scene in the previous evening.

Of course, the five of us were happy to accommodate the police in their investigation at the factory near the Hudson River; unfortunately, we had to take another taxi to the location, since Lori’s Porsche was still being repaired at “Oz’s Fix-Up Shop” (I can only imagine how much we’ll have to pay for it). Once we arrived at the factory that early afternoon, we joined the police captain, whose name turned out to be “Larkin,” and assisted him and his fellow officers in an investigation throughout the entire building.

During the investigation, my friends and I had split up; while Gonzo, Fozzie, and Lori went with some other officers, Kermit and I joined Captain Larkin and three lieutenants in inspecting a room that was somewhere on the nineteenth floor of the factory. Neither of us found anything that would help us out in our investigation; that is, until Kermit discovered a strand of webbing on the floor.

“Hey, look at this.” said Kermit, and he picked up the web strand, just before we examined it closely. I knew that my suspicions were correct, because the web strand was as real as the ones that Spider-Man shot out of his wrist during the match between him and Bone Saw McGraw. Captain Larkin and the lieutenants only saw the web strand as something that some of the common spiders in the condemned building made.

“This is a pretty old building.” Larkin told Kermit. “I’m afraid a simple strand of spider-webbing isn’t much evidence to go by, Mr. Frog.”

“Yeah, but look at the size of it, Captain.” Kermit indicated. “I’ve seen a lot of spider webs back at the old swamp, and they were nothing as big as this one is.” Kermit had an excellent point; normal web strands have the size and thickness of an average dime, but the one we found there in the room was almost the size and thickness of a human arm.

“I seriously doubt if we’re dealing with a giant, mutated spider here, Captain.” I bantered, and the lieutenants chuckled over the ridiculous joke that I made, while Larkin didn’t seem too amused. He set his hands on his hips, as he gave me a cold, hard stare that did not intimate me at all.

“So, uh, what do you think it may’ve been, Mr. Thomas?” He asked. “Could it be some kind of man that shoots fake webs out of his body like a real spider?” Larkin didn’t know how far from the truth he was. I wanted to tell him all that I knew about “The Amazing Spider-Man,” but it was at that moment in time when my suspicions began to change. Instead of thinking that Spidey was some sort of murderous criminal that might’ve killed the carjacker in cold blood, I was beginning to believe that he truly was some kind of a hero and that he did everything out of justice only.

“You tell me, Captain.” I said. “Your theory is as good as mine.” Larkin just stood there and looked at me for at least four or five minutes, and then he just slightly nodded his head and turned to Kermit and the web strand in his hands, with his back facing me. That one reaction told me that he was the one that was intimated.

“Look, I don’t think that this was some mutated spider or some guy’s idea of a practical joke.” said Kermit, as he dropped the web strand and moved over to the shattered window. “What I do know is that the carjacker didn’t fall out by accident. I’m thinking that he may’ve been startled by the other guy’s appearance, and it prompted him to take quite a dive.”

“But who is this other man that was spotted at the scene?” Larkin queried. “And is he as dangerous as the carjacker was?” That’s when Gonzo, Fozzie, Lori, and the other officers rushed into the room, with one of the officers holding a red object in his right hand.

“Captain!” The officer exclaimed. “We found this on the roof of the building.” He handed the object to Larkin, and as he held it in his hands, we all got a good glimpse of it. The object turned out to be a red ski mask that was very much identical to the one that Spider-Man wore on his head, during the wrestling match. I knew that this might’ve hinted Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Lori that Spidey was probably at the scene on the night before, because each of them were giving suspicious looks to one another.

Luckily, Larkin did not take the red ski mask as a legit piece of evidence, the same way he didn’t trust in Kermit’s discovery of the huge web strand. He believed that much stronger evidence (i.e. any type of fingerprinted weapon, a wad of chewed-up gum, or anything that had a trace of DNA on it) was a lot provable. But a red ski mask and a large web strand were, in his mind, pointless to the investigation.

“I’m beginning to think that this whole thing is just a waste of time.” Larkin said. “The culprit of this crime is dead, so there’s no sense in doing any further investigating.”

“But, Captain,” Another officer uttered, “What about the second suspect who was spotted at the scene?”

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no second suspect.” Larkin said. “It may’ve been just some kind of statue that freaked the carjacker out, just before he crashed through the window and fell to his death.” Lori found the captain’s assumptions a little difficult to accept.

“A statue?” She said, dryly, and Larkin gave her that same cold, hard stare that he gave me. Of course, he was staring at a fellow member of my family, so it was obvious that she wouldn’t be intimated either.

“Yes, ma’am…a statue!” exclaimed Larkin, just as he turned to the other officers. “Come on, boys! Let’s go get some lunch!” And with that, Larkin and the other NYPD members departed from the scene, leaving the rest of us standing in an empty room. Lori was very upset over the fact that the officers were just letting the situation fly over their heads, when there was still much to be investigated.

“I don’t buy that whole ‘statue’ thing for a second!” Lori snapped. “I don’t think any of us should give up on this!”

“Well, what’re we supposed to do? Go out and place that mask on every head in New York, just to see if it fits?” said Gonzo, and his eyes widened with amusement at the thought of that idea. “Hey, that might be crazy enough to work.”

“Gonzo, there has to be millions of people here in the city.” Kermit said. “I’d doubt if we would find the owner of that mask, just by fitting it on their heads.”

“You never know when one of those people might have the largest head in the world.” Gonzo remarked.

“And what would that prove?” Kermit asked.

“Well, for one thing, it’d prove that they have a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.” replied Gonzo, and Kermit made an exasperated face, while shaking his head and putting his right hand over his face. I immediately ended all of the bickering by using my common sense, which happened to be a vital tool of mine.

“Look, maybe Larkin just happen to have the right idea,” I said, “We can’t really go by a red ski mask and a large web strand.”

“Sean!” shouted Lori, who looked as if she was appalled over the fact that I was giving up so quickly. “What’re you saying?! It's obvious that these two pieces of evidence prove that the second man may’ve been…” Before Lori could’ve said “amazing” or “Spider-Man,” I interrupted her quite abruptly and aggressively.

“I said drop it, Lori!” I yelled, and I believe the harsh tone in my voice might’ve forced my friends to jump a little, so I cooled myself down a bit. “It’s best if we just ignore this whole thing and go on with our lives, okay?” It was quiet in the room for a very long time, before Lori finally nodded her head in acknowledgement; she then left the room with a great deal of disappointment, which kind of upset me.

“We’ll leave you alone for a while, Sean.” said Kermit, and I felt appreciated that he knew exactly what I was going through right now and that I needed some time to myself to think about the sudden situation. As soon as Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo left the room, I paced back and forth around the empty room, pondering over everything that I had discovered about the mysterious Spider-Man that seemed to have saved the day.

But my train of thought was broken as soon as something fell right in front of my face and hit the ground with a gentle splattering noise. I looked down at the object and noticed that it was another strand of webbing that was identical to the one Kermit found. Suddenly, something else fell from above and that time landed on the back of my neck; as I moved it away from there, it felt real warm and sticky like caramel. When I got the substance off my neck, I gazed at it in my left hand and saw how it was yet another strand of webbing.

Curiously, I looked up from the web strand in my hand to the rafters above my head, only to see how they were entirely covered with endless spider webs that were bigger than the usual ones that you would find in places like Kermit’s old swamp home. I didn’t know how Captain Larkin, the others, or I could have missed such an unusual display, because it might’ve been the best bit of evidence that we could find. But it was probably for the best that neither of us discovered it; otherwise, Spider-Man would’ve become the suspect that I believed him to be. I simply left the room and rejoined Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Lori outside the factory, where we got into our taxi and left the scene.

END OF CHAPTER TWO​

 

[Beauregard]

Wow! Two more sections, I must have missed one. But, hey, check out these best bits from both:

“Maybe he’s an alien.” assumed Gonzo, just as Lori gave him a dirty look that Gonzo soon noticed. “Hey, I’m not saying he’s the type that shoots himself out of a cannon, okay?”

Hey, hey. Easily the best lines so far! Totally Gonzoish, and great. You hve these characters down well!

“Until this very night, I’ve never seen a woman so upset about losing ten bucks.” stated Kermit.

And somehow I'm not sure that this is the last time we'lll be seeing her upset. A woman who does not like to lose is a good charcter to have in a story.

"Brotherly love?” uttered Fozzie, somewhat puzzled, as he looked out the window. “Have we gone past the state line?”

Hhahahaha! Too funny! God old Fozzie.

“As long as they keep on stopping, we’ve got nothing to worry about.” uttered Kermit.

Yup, you got that right Kermit. Good luck Gonzo, lol

“We got word that some carjacker committed a murder/thief, just fifteen minutes ago.”

Wow! The spiderman story fromthe Muppet's Perspective. I love it!!! It's a clever, cool way to work this story, and I can't wait to see how it pans out!

“Oh…this?” said Fozzie, and he began to make up one horrible cover-up. “This is just something that my mom told me to wear, because…because…i-i-it helps me know what to do after I ‘handle my business’.”

Yeah, Fozzie. Sure....

However, the story with Gonzo was the complete opposite; whenever he analyzed his pictures, Jonah would first make pleasant comments about Gonzo’s photos and then tell him to do a better job next time.

Oh, wow. Totally Jonah!

“Hey, look at this.” said Kermit, and he picked up the web strand.

Wow. I can totally see this happening!

“I seriously doubt if we’re dealing with a giant, mutated spider here, Captain.”

lol

“Sean!” shouted Lori, who looked as if she was appalled over the fact that I was giving up so quickly. “What’re you saying?! It's obvious that these two pieces of evidence prove that the second man may’ve been…”

Uh oh..I sence a quarrel comign on...

Suddenly, something else fell from above and that time landed on the back of my neck; as I moved it away from there, it felt real warm and sticky like caramel.

Eew! I can feel this stickignto my neck as I read! Yuckers!

Over all, I think this fan-fic is Excellent!!!! Keep it up!

 

[muppetwriter]

Thanks again, Beauregard.

Did you also notice some of the references I made to The Great Muppet Caper (i.e. The Happiness Hotel, the press card on Fozzie's hat, Kermit's reporter attire, and Gonzo's photography skills)?

 

[Beauregard]

Thanks again, Beauregard.

Did you also notice some of the references I made to The Great Muppet Caper (i.e. The Happiness Hotel, the press card on Fozzie's hat, Kermit's reporter attire, and Gonzo's photography skills)?

Yes indeed. How amiss of me not to mention them! Also the Oz Fix-it shop place!!!

 

[TogetherAgain]

..."Oz's Fix-Up Shop," huh?... Very well written, I love it so far, and I'm definately looking forward to more!

 

[muppetwriter]

The next chapter's another two-parter that includes one of my favorite scenes from the SM movie.

Chapter Three (Part One):​

Not telling anyone about everything that I knew and suspected concerning Spider-Man was probably the best thing that I could’ve done in my entire life, because the next few months turned out to be just one enormous transition from zero to hero for him. Over those few months, Spidey had done so many great things for so many innocent people in New York City, thus proving to be a worthy superman figure (well, actually…that’s another story).

Everyone at the Bugle was running ragged over the “Spider Craze” that was happening all over the city, trying to get the scoop before other tabloid newspapers did. If there was one thing that I might’ve regretted about not telling anyone about Spider-Man, it was not telling Jonah about it first; because since he found out about the wall-crawler, he had become harder to be around than ever before, due to his unhealthy obsession. However, if Jonah did know about it before everyone else, then Spider-Man’s reputation would’ve been ruined, even before he gained one. Jonah didn’t buy the heroic figure that Spidey had donned upon himself; for some strange reason, he was anxious to exploit Spider-Man for the “criminal” that he believed him to be.

While Jonah was on his obsessive mission, the rest of us were busy going to places where we could get some positive reactions to Spider-Man’s goodwill towards the New York citizens. The one place that Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I decided to go to for some great interviews was, of course, Sesame Street; it was there that Spider-Man was last spotted, stopping a gang of prowlers from getting away with some serious crimes. Luckily, when we arrived at Sesame Street, all of the residents had gathered together at a street corner, discussing about Spider-Man’s recent appearance.

“It was unbelievable!” Bob exclaimed. “One minute, Mr. Hooper’s shop was almost broken into, and then the next…Spider-Man swoops out of nowhere and traps a couple of burglars in his web.” Everyone shared their amazement over the story that Bob told them, just as Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I came over to them and attempted to get an interview.

“Hi-ho, everyone.” said Kermit, who was sort of like a native to Sesame Street, with his history of reporting there and all. As soon as all of the Sesame Street natives noticed Kermit, big smiles appeared on all of their faces.

“Hey, look, everybody!” Big Bird said. “Kermit’s back!” However, the infamous Oscar the Grouch seemed to be the only one not happy to see Kermit back in Sesame Street.

“Oh, great. The annoying amphibian’s back to pester us with more of his investigative reporting.” grumbled Oscar, but Kermit didn’t let his negativity bother him.

“Yeah, it’s great to see you, too, Oscar.” uttered Kermit, as he focused on everyone else. “Hey, everybody, these are a few friends of mine that I brought with me from the other side of the bridge.” He gestured towards the rest of us and began introducing. “This is Gonzo the Great, Fozzie the Bear, Sean Thomas, and his older sister, Lori.”

“Welcome to Sesame Street.” Maria told us.

“It’s great to be here.” I said. “Kermit has told us a lot of interesting stories that he has covered here in this side of town.”

“Are you here to get a scoop on the Amazing Spider-Man?” Elmo inquired.

“Well, what do you think?” said Oscar, sarcastically. “That web-head has been the talk of the town, ever since he started saving everyone from everything. Personally, I think we were all fine, until he came around.” The other residents of Sesame Street were a little disappointed by Oscar’s rudeness towards Spider-Man.

“Oscar, how could you say something like that, just after what we been through?” Luis asked. “If it wasn’t for Spider-Man, Big Bird’s nest and everything around it would’ve been stolen by those burglars.”

“That’s right, Oscar.” said Big Bird, but Oscar didn’t seem to be convinced or even cared for that matter.

“So the web-head saved bird-brain’s nest! No big deal!” exclaimed Oscar, in that grouchy tone of his.

“How about the robbery that almost took place at the Mail-It Shop?” Gabby asked Oscar. “A lot of people’s mail could’ve been stolen that night.”

“That’s right.” affirmed Maria, but Oscar still refused to be convinced.

“A bunch of dumb letters and packages that were sent by a bunch of dumb people from far away wouldn’t have been missed! Believe me!” Oscar contradicted.

“And what about all of the cars that could’ve been stolen, Oscar?” Gordon stated. “Almost half of them were broken into last night.” I believe it was then that Oscar began to change his feelings about the whole thing, thinking that prowlers stealing cars was a somewhat serious situation.

“Well, uh…” He stammered, and before he could’ve come up with a perfect retort, Telly spoke up.

“A-And what about your home, Oscar?” Telly queried. “If S-Spider-Man hadn’t been here, those crooks would’ve stolen your garbage can for sure…and…and probably with you in it!” Though Oscar was rude to each and every one of them, the S.S. gang shuddered at the thought of Oscar being abducted by criminals; as they chattered amongst themselves, Oscar became very furious (probably because he was proven wrong again) and snapped at his “friends.”

“Alright!” Oscar bellowed. “So the Man-Spider…”

“Spider-Man!” Everyone corrected him.

“Whatever!” Oscar remarked. “So he saved us common folk from a bunch of wimpy prowlers! I still think this world was just fine, before he showed his ugly mug here in the city!”

“But, Oscar, this world was plagued with nothing but crime, before Spider-Man showed up.” Bob indicated.

“You say that like it’s some kind of disease.” Oscar said.

“In a way, Oscar…it is.” stated Gordon, and everyone nodded in agreement with him, while Oscar became more and more furious.

“Well, say what you want about that pest! Yeah, he can do whatever a spider can, like spin a web any size and catch thieves just like flies…” said Oscar, just as the others abruptly interrupted him with excitable comments.

“Is he strong?” asked Fozzie, as he was jotting down notes of everyone’s comments on a small notebook.

“Listen, bud!” snapped Oscar, impatiently, and he tried to get his comment out, until Baby Bear interrupted him.

“He’s got wadioactive blood!” He told Fozzie.

“Can he swing from a thread?” Lori inquired.

“Just take a look overhead.” Bob told her, just before one of the little kids that hung around Sesame Street pointed to something.

“Hey! There goes the Spider-Man!” yelled the kid, and sure enough, far in the distance, there went the Amazing Spider-Man, swinging in and out between large buildings like he always did. Everyone, except for Oscar, was amazed by the appearance of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man; just seeing him there in the distance made Oscar a thousand times more frustrated.

“Alright! That’s it!” Oscar shouted. “I’m sick of everyone bragging about the Spider-Man! He’s not as great as you all claim he is!”

“If he can stop a gang of prowlers, then he must be great.” Big Bird told Oscar.

“Just wait and see, ya big turkey!” Oscar said. “One of these days, Spider-Man will meet his match, and then who will ya cheer for, huh?”

“Oscar, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’re…jealous.” commented Maria, and a sly grin crept across Oscar’s furry face.

“Well, what can I say, Maria? I am a green grouch after all!” remarked Oscar, dryly, just before he turned back to Kermit. “Speaking of which, good luck on the story, Kermit…NOT!!!!” After that, he ducked his head back into his garbage can and slammed the lid shut, giving himself the privacy that he wanted.

“Boy, what a grouch!” Gonzo said.

“Well, that’s Oscar for ya.” said Kermit, and that’s when the cellular phone in my right pocket rang. When I took it out and answered it, who else were to be on the other line than J. Jonah Jameson himself, shouting loud enough for me to move the receiver away from my ear.

First, Jonah asked me where Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Lori, and I were at that time, and I didn’t have the heart (or courage, for that matter) to tell him that we were trying to get some positive reviews on Spider-Man at Sesame Street. I simply told Jonah that we were grabbing a bite at Burger King, while interviewing an employee that had some negative things to say about Spidey. Right after he told me to drop the whopper, he instructed us to head over to Times Square and join in on the World Unity Festival (which was kinda like a copy of the Macy’s Thanksgiving parades, with large balloons and everything) that was being held. He said that there was some important board directors from the OsCorp and AeroQuest companies that were going to be there to seal the deal on their merger and that we needed to get some photos of them.

Jonah added that Peter Parker, an 18-year-old amateur photographer that was hired only a month ago, was also going to be there to assist us in taking photos. Kermit and I happened to have the chance to meet Parker on the day he was hired by Jonah; he is a great-looking kid with a lot of potential, but he always seems to be unsure about his lifestyle. Sometimes he comes to either Kermit or me and asks us for some advice on things like women, rich friends, college, and life itself. We didn’t really give him some legit answers, but we knew that we were helping him in a way that seemed satisfying. I could tell that he was the type of kid that had a rough time in high school, because his appearance did seem kind of…geeky.

We said farewell to all of our friends at Sesame Street and took a taxicab (Lori’s Porsche was still under heavy repairs by that time) over to the World Unity Festival at Times Square, where we met up with Peter Parker in a vast crowd of people. I introduced Peter to Fozzie, Gonzo, and Lori under the heavy loud music that was being performed by Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, who just happen to live with us at the Happiness Hotel; they were joined on stage, for that one time only, by a famous pop singer named Macy Gray.

As we stood in the large crowd of spectators, Peter and Lori began taking photos of the board directors that were high above the festivities on a wide balcony to the colossal Empire Grand building. With the board members were military personnel, ambassadors from other countries, and two people that Peter seemed to have known personally. I noticed how Gonzo was taking photos of something else that had nothing to do with our assignment.

“Gonzo! What’re you doing?” I asked him.

“There’s a guy over there that looks just like Stan Lee!” He replied, and I looked across the heads of several people to see a man that indeed looked like the famous comic book guru. Fozzie also noticed the Stan Lee look-a-like standing nearby and got twice as excited as Gonzo was.

“Hey! Could you imagine the publicity the Bugle would get, if we were to interview a guy like him?” Fozzie asked.

“Yeah!” said Gonzo, and I knew immediately that a bad idea was coming up.

“No. You…You guys aren’t thinking of…” I uttered, and before I could’ve finished my question, Gonzo and Fozzie went right ahead and walked off to interview the man that they believed to be Stan Lee. Kermit walked up next to me and also watched them disappear into the crowd.

“Where are those two going?” asked Kermit, with a puzzled yet annoyed tone.

“Oh, they found some guy that looks like Stan Lee, and they’re going to interview him.” I said, and Kermit just stared at me for a while and then shook his head.

“You wanna know something more amazing than Spider-Man?” Kermit asked.

“What?” I said.

“The fact that those two have kept their jobs longer than anyone else on the staff.” Kermit said.

“I heard that.” I rejoined, just as Lori approached us with a fulfilled grin on her face.

“I’ve got enough pictures on this camera to develop a comic book!” exclaimed Lori, happily, as she kissed her camera. “No more two percent raises for us, baby!”

“Hey, that’s great.” Kermit told Lori.

“Yeah, and speaking of comics, did you know that…” But before I could’ve completed the question, she looked over my left shoulder and noticed “The Man” nearby with Gonzo and Fozzie, getting a thousand times more excited than the two of them.

“Oh! Stan! Stan! What’s up, man?!” shouted Lori, as she walked past me and joined up with Fozzie and Gonzo, as they all met “Stan Lee.”

“Did you even have the heart to tell her that it might’ve not been him?” Kermit inquired.

“I didn’t even have the heart to tell her that the lens cap kept her from getting those photos of the board directors.” I stated.

“Well, I guess the only comic book for those types of pictures would be the ‘Black Avenger’.” commented Kermit, just before he glanced over at Peter, who had stopped taking photos for some reason. “I just thank goodness that we have Peter Parker to back us up.”

“Yeah.” I said, as I took a brief moment to stare at Peter, who was staring up at the two people he personally knew on the balcony. It turned out that they were a couple of friends of his from high school named Harry Osborn (son of Norman Osborn, the chairman of OsCorp that was soon to be fired from his position) and Mary Jane Watson (a gorgeous young redhead that both Peter and Harry seem to desire deeply). I could tell by the sad look on Peter’s face and the way Harry and Mary Jane were sharing a lovely moment that there was definitely a love triangle happening.

But love was the least thing on everyone’s minds, when some kind of unknown flying figure appeared in the distance. The crowd stopped their activities, the band halted their performance, and everyone else immediately quit what they were doing, just to watch the soaring figure that was leaving a trail of black and gray smoke behind, as it was beginning to come towards us.

“What the heck is that?” Kermit asked.

“It must be a new addition.” I assumed, while the figure had gotten closer and closer to us, until we watched him fly high over our heads. It was then that Kermit and I got a good, long look at the figure and realized that it was some sort of mechanical glider, carrying what appeared to someone dressed in a metallic green suit with a goblin mask to match.

“Looks like I’m not the only one in green at this festival.” uttered Kermit, and we watched as the “Green Goblin” went around a large building for another pass. It passed several of the enormous parade balloons, before it finally got near its primary target: the balcony of the Empire Grand. Suddenly, the Green Goblin unleashed a small, round, orange-colored object that exploded underneath the balcony and caused the entire structure to shake violently, knocking the people on it off their feet. One section of the balcony was beginning to crumble away, with the young Mary Jane still on it.

Everyone down on ground level began to panic, as several bits of large and small debris showered down on us. Kermit and I ran over to Gonzo, Fozzie, and Lori, as we all ducked from the large pieces of stone that were coming down on us. While we were desperately trying to keep ourselves alive, I looked up at the people on the damaged balcony that were doing the same; it was only a matter of seconds before that one crumbling section of the balcony would gave way, taking poor Mary Jane with it.

I looked around to see where Peter Parker was, only to discover that he was nowhere in plain sight; wherever he was at that moment in time, he was either alive or dead…and I hoped that he was still alive. Meanwhile, the Green Goblin had again flown over to the damaged balcony and unleashed another small, round device that landed in front of the board directors. I watched in horror as the device exploded in a brilliant flash of green light, and the bodies of the board directors were singed into skeletons and ashes in a matter of seconds. After their death occurred, the Goblin then hovered near Mary Jane, and I only dreaded to think what he’d do to her. And that’s when…

“Look! It’s Spider-Man!” A woman exclaimed, and we all turned our heads to the direction that she was pointing in to see Spider-Man swing out of nowhere and kick the Goblin right off his glider, sending him falling right into a nearby tent. Gonzo and Lori started taking several photos, as many exciting moments began to unfold right in front of us.

TO BE CONTINUED...​

 

[Beauregard]

Whaooooo! I almost can't imgine this ever being without the Muppets in it! Its too cool to exist, man!