The Quote Thread

Also for cheese, cream, and other dairy products.

From Murder by Death, I think:

Person 1: DID YOU HEAR THAT???
Person 2: No.
Person 1: Neither did I...

You're quote reminds of a scene from a Bewitched episode.

RANCE BUTLER: Where'd they go?
MAID: Where'd who go?
RANCE BUTLER: Thay young lady and that yankee!
MAID: I didn't see no young lady, or no yankee.
RANCE BUTLER: You didn't?
MAID: No.
RANCE BUTLER: Come to think of it, neither did I!

Re: cows - And, if you live in a small town in the Midwest, for tipping over as a prank.

From Law & Order: SVU (Richard Belzer gets the best lines) -
Fin Tutuola: Why do we always get stuck looking for the needle in the haystack?
John Munch: Yeah, it's reminds me of the Easter egg hunts of my youth.
Fin Tutuola: Your family's Jewish, you guys don't hide eggs.
John Munch: I know, all those mindless hours of searching.

-Kim

"Kermit, that's a COW!"

From TMS:

Teeth: What is this called again?
Floyd: Minuet in G Major.
Teeth: They ought to have sent it back to the minors.

I had two Big Macs the other day.

From Mean Girls:

KAREN: So, if you're from Africa, why are you white?
GRETCHEN: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Good, shows you don't support PeTA. I hate them.

From "Robin Williams Live on Broadway":

"When you become 50, it's no longer the Glove, it's the 'Ortho-Procto-Scope', which is a camera on the end of a Roto-Rooter. And it's going up YOU."

PETA's a bunch of hypocrites deluded into thinking they're supporting a worthy cause.

From M*A*S*H -
Hawkeye: Listen, fella, I've seen Santa Clause; I even sat on his lap once. And I'm here to tell ya, you ain't him.
B.J.: How can you tell, Virginia?
Hawkeye: Well in the first place...is that a brown moustache, or are you eating a mouse?

-Kim

HA! That episode was one the other night!

GEORGE: Y'know, they say ostrich has less fat, but you eat more of it.

That's one of my favorite episodes.

And now, a snippet of song from "What is this Feeling?", from the musical WICKED:
Both:
THERE'S BEEN SOME CONFUSION FOR YOU SEE MY ROOMATE IS...
Galinda:
UNUSUALLY, AND EXCEEDLINGLY PECULIAR AND ALTOGETHER QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE...
Elphaba: Blonde.

-Kim

Wow, what a random conversation. I love watching discussions go on tangents of tangents of tangents. Anybody follow that?

After a particularly amazing steal during a game of frisbee:
Ben: They call me Bandit Ben!
Tom: They call me late for dinner.

I know I didn't. And you're right about PeTA, Kim. Check out www.consumerfreedom.com, they've got lots of great stuff.

From "MacGyver":

Dalton: Let me handle this guy. I know spy talk. (goes over to spy messenger) Do you have my package here?
Spy: Yes I have your package here. (He hands him the package and takes off.)

I've seen that stuff before. Makes me wonder how in the world they thought they were going to get away with it, and still put on their ridiculous demonstrations in the name of "animal rights".

And now, more words of wisdom from SVU:
Olivia Benson: He smells expensive
Capt. Donald Cragen: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to smell the defendant.

-Kim

I don't know what you're talking about, but I love bunnies! Their the only pet to have!

RYAN: E.T. want lap-dance!
KATHY: Alright, but you tickle!

I had a friend who was against cruelty to animals; he claimed that PETA wrote him a letter; then again, he was a real ding-dong.

SOPHIA: I had to hide that dress from your brother Phil; he used to like to wear it on Fridays when he visited the firemen.

I have two canaries... anyway

"TV is not for watching it's for being on"

Charles Prentiss, Absolute Power

We used to call our springer spaniel a ding-dong. Of course, springers aren't the brightest dogs around...

And today we have a gem from the archives of Metaquotes:
LJ User james_nicholl: It does not matter how posh the theatre, they will not let you watch the film once the theatre has caught fire.

-Kim

Spaniel? That ryhmes with my human name. My plant name ryhmes with Lawberry. Which isn't a word

From Legally Blonde: I OBJECT! [she says it after a gentlemen smacks her backside. I laughed.]

Lawberry is an anagram of Rye Brawl which isn't exactly a word either, it's exactly two words...

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

Sir Winston Churchill

"Lawberry" sounds like a real fruit of a lawyer.

From Vet's Hospital:

Beau: There you go again, treating me like I was subferior! (squints)

The court calls the defending counsel Mr Lawberry QC...

It's like this special was written by someone with Attention Deficit Disorder.

Danny (Tough Pigs) on "A Special Sesame Street Christmas"