The Quote Thread

My friend: if time is money, then is a ATM machine a time machine?

"Money really DOES come from trees... what is money made from? And where does paper come from? So technically, money DOES grow on trees." ~ Me

Simon: I wonder what it's gonna be like to have a werewolf for a brother!

BRITTANY: Uh, hello, what is that supposed to be?
JEANETTE: Your costume.
BRITTANY: Oh, no, no, no, you've got it all wrong, I'm supposed to play a girl named Willa, who cries a lot.
JEANETTE: No, you're a weeping willow.
BRITTANY: *Gasp* You mean I'm a TREE?!

Theodore: (finishing his lines from a play about dr. jekyl and mr. hyde)
MWAHAHAHAA! is that to scary?
everyone: O_O

"I've stepped on my J many times." ~ Gordon

"My memory isn't the way it used to be."

"How was it?"

"I can't remember."

- Captain Haddock & Tintin

Timekeeper: "The Big Apple. New York, New York. City of ten million dreams ... and one parking space
timekeeper from the ride: timekeeper

Timekeeper: Who are you doubting, Atonomus? You ready to make some history?
9 eyes: I'm ready already! Let's go!
Timekeeper: I'LL DECIDE WHEN WE'RE READY TO GO!
~2 second pause~
Timekeeper: We're ready to go!

ATTORNEY: Call Officer Matt Vogel to the stand.
BAILIFF: Call Officer Matt Vogel.

"Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mummie. Mummie. Mummie. Mummie. Mummie. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois."

"WHAT?!"

"Hi. *Laughs*"

-Lois and Stewie

Crush: hey Grace, can you help me with question seve- Me: I like math. Crush: Um, ok.... Have a good day Grace..... Me: -face palm- (me when my crush walks up to me in math to ask for help on a problem.)

Tracy: "Dr. Spacemen, when they check my DNA, will it tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM PIN code?"
Dr. Spaceman: "Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be."
-30 Rock

"Oh my dog. Oh Long John. Oh Long Johnson. Oh Don Piano. Why I eyes ya. All the live long day." ~ Satanic Talking Cat

"So I’m meant to say something witty and clever here. Thats certainly not likely to happen."

~ My friend Deanne on tumblr

Peter: Brian, can I see that paper for a second? *Reads paper* Huh. That's odd, I thought that'd be big news.

Brian: You thought what would be big news?

Peter: Well, there seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety.

Brian: What are you talking about?

Peter: Oh, have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard.

Brian: Heard what?

Stewie: BRIAN DON'T!!!

Peter: A word a bird bird bird, bird bird's the word, a word a bird bird bird, bird bird's the word, a bird a bird bird bird, bird bird's the word a bird a bird bird bird, bird bird's the word a BRIAN! Don't you know about the bird? Well Peter's gonna tell you about the bird, a word a bird, bird, bird bird's the word a word a bird. Surfin' *Totally has a seizure I swear it*

Brian: Oh my god! Peter are you alright?

Peter: A papa oom a mow mow, papa oom mow mow mow...


-Peter, Brian, and Stewie (Bird is the word!)

Chowder and Shnitzel are being eaten alive by Meaches]
Chowder: Shnitzel, if you don't make it out of this, I just want you to know that I used your apron to unclog my toilet.
Snhitzel: [angry] Rada Rada!
Chowder: Yeah, it just clogged it up even more.

"You just had to kill 'im. The boy cries you a sweater of tears...and you kill 'im."
-Mr. Krabs once he realizes the pie Squidward bought for SpongeBob was a bomb.

Tracy: "I can't change! I'm like a chameleon; always a lizard!"

"I wonder what I'll get Mikena for her birthday. I know she likes animals.... *Gasps* I'll get her some fried chicken!"

-Paisley from Ant Farm