The Quote Thread

Why not?

Bill the Frog: I'll pick up the bill today, Gil.
Gil the Frog: Would you like something from the grill, Jill?
Jill the Frog: No, meat makes me ill, Gil.

(The Muppets Take Manhattan)

Candice: MOM! PHINEAS AND FERB ARE MAKING A TITLE SEQUENCE!

All: Hmmmmm....

Announcer: Tonight, don't miss the Muppet Telethon, with special guest star Jack Black!
Bobo: Oh, he's pretty good.

If I can get something in edgewise, please try to avoid double posting.

Sorry about that . Didn't think to go back and edit my previous post. I'll do better next time!

The Count: I am accurate to one and three-tenths, millionth of a second. Here we go! 14,747 seconds to the new year. 14,746 seconds to the new year. Ah ah! (thunderclaps) I love traditions!

(Sesame Street Stays Up Late!)

Lady: Is this the Universal Studios?
Alan Arkin: Yes it is.

Alan Arkin: And this is Kermit the Frog's old office. It's really the highlight of the tour. You should see it sometime. And now I'll show you the rope they used in the productions.

Walter: :|

Scooter: Edgar Bergen! 25 seconds to curtain, Mr. Bergen.
Edgar Bergen: Well, thank you. (talking to Charlie) Did you hear that Charlie?
Charlie McCarthy: I.. I, I just can't believe my eyes. Did he got yet?
Edgar Bergen: Yes. He just tuck his head in the door and left.
Charlie McCarthy: I don't, I don't mean him. I mean HIM.
(Blue Frackle looks at Edgar and Charlie straightly.)
Blue Frackle: I just can't believe my eyes. A stick of wood that talks!

(The Muppet Show: Edgar Bergen)

Mortimer Snerd: In fact (chuckles) there's the funniest story goin' on now... (chuckles)
Fozzie: Mortimer? What's the story? Mortimer...
Mortimer: Well I don't know, it hasn't gotten around to me quite yet.

(Chickens enter)
Charlie McCarthy: Remember girls, an egg a day keeps the hatchet away.

(Pigs enter)
Charlie: And here's the bacon to go with the eggs.

(Mosters enter)
Charlie: Bergen, this isn't a television show! This is a zoo!

(TMS - Edgar Bergen/Charlie McCarthy/Mortimer Snerd)

: Hey, let's start things off with a bang!(gunshot) Thank you sir! Wocka wocka wocka wocka!
: This guy's lost.
Waiter(director Jim Frawley) : Why doesn't he try Hare Krishna?
: Good grief, it's a running gag.
: Uh, uh, there was this sailor who was so fat...
Fat Sailor: How fat was he?(breaks bottle)
: Uh, he was so fat that everybody liked him and their was nothing funny about him at all.
(The Muppet Movie)

Gee-ee-eez people, easy with the muffining.

I'm afraid I don't see any muffining.

Edgar Bergen: You know Mortimer Snerd, of course?
Fozzie: Oh, of course, I recognize this charming, handsome young gentleman!
Mortimer: Uh-huh-huh-huh! He says the darndest things!
Edgar: Well, Mortimer, you know who he is, surely?
Mortimer: Oh yeah. Hello, Shirley!
Fozzie: No, no my name is Fozzie!
Mortimer: Oh that's right, Shirley Fozzie!

Pear: See, Orange? Even Marshmallow has a theme song.
Marshmallow: Yeah, I got one too!
(cuts to a sky setting with Marshmallow sitting on a rainbow with real-life rabbits, butterflies, dogs, and a cat)
Unseen Singers: Doo-ah, doo-ah. He's so cute. (So cute.) Doo-ah, doo-de-doo. He's so cute.
(cuts back to the kitchen setting)
Marshmallow: Yay! My favorite part is when it says I'm cute. (giggles)

(Annoying Orange: Theme Song Attack)

Bobo: Uh, sir, sorry they're just calling on the 'com, in the den, are you going to go with the cauliflower yellow or the burgundy red?
(The Muppets blooper reel)

Optometrist: Now then, I want you to read as much of this chart as you can.
Bugs Bunny: (reading chart) "A-T-W-R-K-L-N-O-C-W-O-D-R-K-G-S-O-L-T-Y-K-L-O-N-D-C-R-P-L-D, Acme Eye Test Chart, printed by the United States Printing Office, Washington, D.C., Reg. U.S. Pat. Off."
(The optometrist reads the smallest sections with a magnifying glass, and discovers that they are exactly the same as what Bugs read.)
Optometrist: Uh... yeah.

(Looney Tunes: Forward March Hare)

I always thought Marshmallow was a she.

Bugs Bunny: Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?
Doctor in the audience: I'm a doctor.
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, doc?

(Looney Tunes: Hair-Raising Hare)