The Quote Thread

"Her babies! ... Kevin's a girl?"
- Russell, Up

Hazel: "Kenneth, why don't you run out and get dessert?"
Kenneth: "But we have Government ice cream."
-30 Rock

"Life is so hard, Tommy. Sometimes I think it's the hardest thing in there is." - Chuckie Finster

"Here at PBS, we do not promote violence of any sort!" ~ A telethon guy, after he ends up knocking Steve out

Keanu Reeves: "I shall take Balloons for $800 if you please"
Alex Trebek: "That's not a category."
Keanu: "My mistake, I shall choose Balloons for $600."

"GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR NOSE JOSEPH!" ~ Mike Trainor

Grimace: Tonight, I'm gonna sleep like a frog.
Hamburgalar: The expression is "sleep like a log", Grimace.
Grimace: Duh, maybe I'll do that tomorrow night!
(everyone but Grimaces breaks into cheesy sitcom group-laugther)
Grimace: Uh, why are we laughing?

- Have Time, Will Travel

"Isn't this just like car wreck deja vu?" ~ Brad Loekle

Rocko: Why was everyone singing?
Heffer: We just got a song in our hearts!
Rocko: How is it you all know the words? Did you rehearse?
Heffer: Yeah, every Thursday. Didn't you see the flyers?
— Rocko's Modern Life, "Zanzibar"

"Isn't this just like car wreck deja vu?" ~ Brad Loekle

Deja vu is right.

"Isn't this just like car wreck deja vu?" ~ Brad Loekle

"If somebody throws a brick at me, I can catch it and throw it back." - Harry Truman

BRAD LOEKLE: Isn't this just like car wreck deja vu?
DANNY BONADUCE: Dude, that joke was funny the first time... amusing the second time... ANNOYING the third!
BRAD LOEKLE: Isn't this just like car wreck deja vu?
JUDY GOLD: SHUT UP!

( after seeing a advertisement for a product that lets you practice your putting on the can/ john/ toilet)
Danny Bonaduce: I've only heard of going number one and number two, what are people supposed to think when I yell.........
( cut to Danny sitting in an outhouse)
Danny: FORE!

HENRY: (Drunk) I gotta go to the toidy is how I'm doin'... but can I find it is what I don't know...
TRAPPER: (Drunk) You go out the back door, and come to a big tree... you pass the tree, and come to a second tree... the toidy is the third tree... the third tree is the toidy!
(All laugh)
HAWKEYE: (Drunk) Thank God for Joyce Kilmer.
HENRY: (Drunk) I can't wait, which tree is it?
TRAPPER: Number one is for number two, and number three is for number one.
HAWKEYE: Number four is the lady's tree, don't go there.

Video Teacher: "I've seen better videos by people who suck."
-Journey to the Center of the Woods

"I dreamt I was a moron..."
- Squall, Final Fantasy VIII

Announcer: Is this the end of Pigs in Space?
Audience: YES!!!
Announcer: Come tune in again next time for...
Audience: NOOO!!
Announcer: Alright, then. Don't. See if I care.

(The Muppet Show: Diana Ross)

Ms. Flamiel: We'll move on to science. Dot, what can you tell me about the great scientists of the eighteenth century?
Dot: They're all dead.
Ms. Flamiel: No, no, no!
Dot: All right. They're all living.
Ms. Flamiel: No, no, no!
Yakko: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.
-Animaniacs