The Quote Thread

LADY GAGA: Adele is bigger than I am, how come nobody ever says anything about her?
ME: Uh, part of the reason is because she got herself knocked up.

Professor Frink: "This isn't the Monsterometer; it's the Frog Exaggerator!"

FRANK STALLONE: I love shootin' people, stabbin' 'em... in movies, not in real life.
EVERYONE ELSE:

"But this isn't television Perry The Platypus, this is REAL life! And... I'm... And I'm the father!"


- Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Do you realize that a robot just sang a love song to a turtle? - Crow T. Robot

Vizzini: "INCONCEIVABLE!"

CASEY THE MUPPET: I'm Casey the Muppet!
COMMENTATOR: Did you hit puberty?
ME:

The Butcher: How hard can running the world be?
WordGirl: I dunno, I always thought it involved a lot of paperwork.

(Can't remember the exact wording, but close enough)

"I don't understand why people move out here... earthquakes on the coast, 120 degrees out in the desert... they oughta change the name of California to Shake-n-Bake, U.S.A." ~ Fred Sanford

I'm bad. But that's good. I will never be good, but that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be, than me.

-The Bad-Anon

(Wreck-It-Ralph)

Me: Maddie, do you go to school?
My little (3-year-old) cousin- Yeah!
Me: So do I; I go to college.
Maddie: I go to college, too!

Truck Driver (Peter Ustinov): What are you doing here?
Oscar the Grouch: A very brief cameo.
Truck Driver: Me too.

(The Great Muppet Caper)

"You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?!"

*Takes the glasses off his head, and hits him with them*

"You hit a guy with glasses...well played."

-King Candy and Wreck-It Ralph

Kermit: (singing) You're a bindle bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet...
Ethel Merman: (singing) You're Mickey Mouse!
Kermit: Is-is that a compliment?
Ethel Merman: Well, you called me a colloseum!
Kermit: Sorry about that...

(The Muppet Show: Ethel Merman)

Wakka: "A Summoner with bed hair! What's the world comin' to?"
Yuna: "You could have woken me up!"
Lulu: "We called to you, but with all that snoring..."
Yuna: "Mmm... what is it today? Everyone's picking on me!"
[everyone laughs; Auron chuckles]
Yuna: "You too, Sir Auron?"
Auron: "Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave!"
[everyone laughs]
- Final Fantasy X

Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

(The Muppet Christmas Carol)

The Muppet Movie

Big Bird: I'm on my way to New York City to try to break into public television!

And another one from the movie
Fozzie: A bear in his natural habitat.. A studebaker!

"He can't help being so faithful and loyal and kind. He's a machine made so. That's more than you can say for humans"

Isaac Asimov, I,Robot.

Ernie: Come on, Bert. What kind of movie had a sad ending?
Bert: Titanic. Titanic had a sad ending.

(The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland)

My brothers now expect me to say that every time I say "you wouldn't hit a woman with glasses."