The Quote Thread

What's the next case?

KLINGER: (Drunk) I wanna make a toast! To M*A*S*H 4077...7...7...I may not have no family no more in Toledo, but I sure gots one here! I love you guys! (Passes out).
COL. POTTER: Pretty rotten way to show it!

Why are they calling him QC? I thought his name was Mr. Lawberry...

And now a nugget of wisdom from Whose Line is it Anyway?
Drew Carey: "Strange things for a doctor to say after 'Turn your head and cough'".
Colin Mochrie: All right, now bend over and sneeze.

-Kim

Dunno, maybe it's "Francois Lawberry, Quebecker". Heh. (insert mindless Jean Chretien joke here) Hey, I didn't make the joke, MrsPepper...

More widsom, but from Bill Cosby this time around:

Chinese restaurants, you gotta watch out for them, 'cause they won't label that mustard. At least in Mexican restaurants, they've got a big bottle, says "H-O-T". And if you can't read, a picture of the Devil.

I love this quote thread it's tons of fun!

WAYNE ROGERS: (On the subject of him leaving M*A*S*H) "If knew the show was going to last that long, I would've kept my mouth shut, and stayed put."

Yeah, no kidding. Finally, an outlet for all the random quotes that seem to keep popping up in life.

leaving a restaurant where my sister works as a waitress:
Uncle Bernie: Where's Sara?
Me: She's talking to a table.
Uncle Bernie: Well I hope she's talking to the people, and not the table.
Me: No, she's talking to a table.

Better not stick a screwdriver in that outlet.

From Young Frankenstein:

FREDERICK: Werewolf?
IGOR: There.
FREDERICK: What?
IGOR: There. There wolf. There castle.
FREDERICK: Why are you talking that way?
IGOR: I thought you wanted to.
FREDERICK: No, I don't want to.
IGOR: Suit yourself. I'm easy.

Aw, why not? Well can I stick a fork in the outlet?

Discussing ways to keep my dad awake in the car:
Elizabeth: Or I could poke Lisa and make her squeak, that would wake you up.
Dad: It would also break all the windows in the car.

The name isn't Lawberry or QC. It's actually Dan, or Strawberry. Or Daniel, if you're a parent.

Oh, and, Dan, is that a Hevej in your digestive system? - Beauregard

If I was Elton John, I'd write a song about you.

From "Airplane!"

DR. RUMACK: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
ELAINE: Well, we had a choice: chicken or fish.
DR. RUMACK: Yes, yes, I remember: I had lasagna.

I admire Elton John, as a matter of fact, I'm listening to his music right now.

More from "Young Frankenstein":

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: (bumps into Igor's hump) You know, I'm a rather talented surgeon... I could help you with that hump.
IGOR: What hump?

If you wanna know about that...don't ask...

Holmes: Elementry, dear Watson.

I always find that hilarious because Holmes never once said it in the books...

I used to wear an Elton John/ Billy Joel concert T-shirt to school; it only took me two days to think otherwise.

From "Blazing Saddles":

JIM: Mongo, why would a big man like Hedley Lamarr be interested in where the "choo-choo" goes?
MONGO: Mongo don't know; Mongo only pawn in game of life.

Elementary, dear Beauregard!

RADAR: (Part of the Father Mulcahy sound-alike contest) "Dear me, Major Simmons has caught a case of hepatitus. It was an incredible shade of yellow."

My Uncle commenting about a sense in THE TOWERING INFERNO

My Uncle:That was some flaming ball of fireman.
*I look at him*
Me:That was just wrong.

Speaking of...wel..hm...never mind. Let's start again:

I like foreign music. Swedish, Danish, and especially Romanian. Anyone else?

'Nurse! Do let's pretend that I'm a hungry hyaena, and you're a bone.'
Alice -Through the Looking Glass

If you're strictly talking foreign music, I like German, Swedish and especially Mexican. "Malaguena Salerosa" is one of my favorite tunes. Never was much on Chinese music, though.

From "Clue":

MORMON: Good evening, madam. Have you heard the news? Armageddon is at hand!
MS. SCARLET: You ain't just whistlin' dixie, brother.

Also German music, and French music. I forgot to add. However, French I like the least.

1. Romanian
2. Danish
3. Swedish
4. German
5. French
Red King: I assure, you my dear, I turned cold to the very ends of my whiskers!
Red Queen: You haven't got any whiskers.
Red King: The horror of that moment, I shall never, NEVER forget!'
Red Queen: You will, though, if you don't make a memorandum of it.'

When it comes to foreign music, I've been having a little exposure to Italian lately, thanks to voice lessons. From the Baroque period, though, and it's not exactly my favorite stuff in the world. I do like to sing in Hebrew, but I guess that has something to do with the fact that usually when I'm singing in Hebrew I'm surrounded by at least a hundred other Jewish teenagers singing in Hebrew at the top of their lungs and banging on tables until staff yells at us. <evil grin>.

The following quote is brought to you by a severe case of sleep deprivation:
Ben: What whould be the best thing to get you out of 18 feet of snow?
Me: Hot air?
Ben: A hair dryer! And think, you could plug it into the snow, because, you know, snow runs on happiness.

Enya is about as "foreign" as I can handle.

From "Golden Girls":

BLANCHE: I'm wound up tighter than the girdle on a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.

There are many foreigners here.

BORIS: (After leading Rocky into a trap with signs and billboards) "See...it pays to advertise!"