The Quote Thread

Well, happy to report that I was at home alone for two days, and I didn't burn the place down, blow it up or wreck it with a wild party.

Okay, that's all, carry on.

Blackadder: I've got a subtle plan.
Baldrick: I can't see any subtle plan.
Blackadder: Baldrick, you wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing "Subtle Plans are Here Again".

-Kim

Really? By the way you act here, I'd think you're lying! A-ah, wocka wocka!

Instructor: Alright, how to de-fend yourself against someone armed with a banana!
Student: Couldn't we learn something useful, like to defend ourselves against someone who attacks you with a poin-ted stick?
Instructor: (to student) Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh? Want to learn about pointed sticks, do we? Well let me tell you something boy! When someone attacks you on your way home tonight with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!

I once had the place to myself for the whole day, and you know what I did?

HAWKEYE: (On Henry's final night at the 4077th) Henry, how ya doin'?
HENRY: (Drunk) I gotta go to the toidy's how I'm doin, but can I find it is what I don't know!
TRAPPER: You go out the back door, and come to a big tree! You pass the big tree, and come to another. The toidy is the third tree. The third tree's the toidy!
(Everyone at this point is hysterical with laughter).
HENRY: Speakin' of tree, you know, I'm really gonna miss you guys. I wish we can all go home together! I can't wait, which tree is it?
TRAPPER: Number one is for number two, and number three is for number one!
HAWKEYE: Number four's the ladies tree, don't go there.
(Moments later)
HAWKEYE: You alright Henry?
HENRY: Oh, I'm fine, but ALOT of bark came off ol' number one.

Just about the longest quote yet, eh?

Something's telling me you watched Bewitched and M*A*S*H. Just a guess, though.

Scarlet: There's one bullet in here, and you know who's gonna get it? (She points it at Wadsworth.)
Wadsworth: Don't bother.
Scarlet: Why shouldn't I?
Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
Scarlet: What do you mean there's not?
Wadsworth: There was one shot in the study, two at the chandelier, two at the door and one at the telegram girl. That's six: one plus two plus two plus one.
Scarlet: No, it was only ONE shot that hit the chandelier. That's one plus two plus ONE plus one.
Wadsworth: It was two at the chandelier! That's six!
Scarlet: Never mind that, there's one bullet left in this gun. Say goodbye, Wadsworth!
Green: Hey, I said I didn't do it! (He opens the door and the FBI comes streaming in.)

Did I beat you? Dunno.

Nope! I went around nude all day. For real! And back then, I wasn't familiar with M*A*S*H.

And now, from The Day After Tomorrow.

J.D.: We're not going to last very long on M&M's and potato chips.
HOMELESS DUDE: What about the garbage can? (Everyone stares at him) There's ALWAYS somethin' to eat in the garbage!

Good Jesus man, too much information! I can only hope you're joking...

From The Jeff Foxworthy Show:

Jeff: We are NOT going mooning.
Wayne: C'mon Jeff, it ain't like we're playin' Jumanji!

Well it's not like we can very well imagine some one we've never seen... That doesn't mean I'll start broadcasting it when... you know what, I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Anyway, here's one from a youth group convention.
Ashley: Did you know Ben and Lisa got married? And they had a baby. And now she's pregnant again.
Person x: You two got married?!? Why wasn't I invited?
Me (Lisa): I don't know, neither was I.

Imagination,can be a dream come true;that little spark,in me and you....-Journey Into Imagination



Jake: Make a wish Samantha.

Samantha: It already came true.

-16 Candles(ending)

Hey, I remember that ride. I kinda liked it.

From the Nureyev episode of TMS:
Piggy: Don't you talk to strangers?
Nureyev: It depends on how strange the stranger is!

Have you ever took a ride on a wave?


'....Sincerely Yours,The Breakfast Club'

No, but I've listened to the Beach Boys' "Catch A Wave".

From MCC:
Fozziwig: At this time in the proceedings, it's tradition for me to make a little speech!
Marley: Yeah, and it's tradition for us to take a little nap!

"Let me tell you something, little Miss... Advertising pays our bills, alright... advertising pays your salary... advertising is what made this country great... What was the Constitution of the United States?... No! It is an advertisement... an advertisement for liberty... when in the course of human events... I'm telling you... that's up there with 'Put a Tiger in your tank' and 'Where's the beef'... Don't you understand? I'm sorry... I've got to get some air... Heck if it wasn't for advertising... you know what you two'd be doing, huh? You two'd be giving out Sesame Street tote bags during PBS pledge breaks... 'cept they wouldn't say Sesame Street on them.. Nooo... they wouldn't say that... that would be....? ADVERTISING!!! That's Right!! Heck, if you two had your way there probably wouldn't even be any Sesame Street would there?... Would there?!! There'd be no Ernie would there... Nooooo.... there'd be no Bert... bye bye, bye bye to Grover... bye bye to Cookie Monster... NO! There'd be no Snuffleupagus, would there, and get that trash can... cause there'd be no Oscar the Grouch... NOT TO MENTION... KERMIT, THE DANG FROG!!!!"
-Jimmy James, NewsRadio

I miss advertisements with jingles...

Matt Stevens: 'That's the bravest thing I've ever see a vegetable do!'-Return of the K. Tomatoes.

Well, at least we don't have the Brylcreem and Wildroot Creme Oil commercials any more. I've never heard them, but I've read horror stories...

Green: I'm a plant for the FBI.
Scarlet: Really? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.

Commercials with jingles. Great, now I'm jingling. "Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime and grease in just a minute, Mr. Clean can clean your whole house, and everything that's in it..." Oh boy. Don't mind me, I'll just be over here singing random jingles.

Peoples is peoples. Is frog gone? Yes. Is peoples worrying, is peoples looking, is no come? But, is peoples working? Is water boiling? Is come. Ya. Peoples is peoples. -do I really have to say where that's from?

My bologna has a first name,its O-S-C-A-R.My bologna has a second name,its M-A-Y-E-R...


Snap,Crackle,Pop into your morning!

Where's the beef?!

Willy Wonka: And so,I said,"Come and live with me in peace and safety,away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and rotten Vermicious Knids."

Dave Barry really hates commercial jingles, and I do as well, if they're really ANNOYING jingles.

JELTZ: "Apathetic bloody planet. I've no sympathy at all."

Ever wonder why commercials take so long in front of movies nowadays?



James Leeds:

*signing in sign-language*

'Hi.I'm James Leeds & my signing is rusty,so how many of you can read lips? No one,alright: class dismissed.'-Children of a Lessor God

Part of me says its so the audience gets interested in seeing the movie that the preview is for.

The more cynical part of me says it's because the movie-makers and advertisers know they have a captive audience.

Col. Mustard: *looks in the study* Just checking.
Mrs. Peacock: Everything all right?
Col. Mustard: Yup; two corpses, everything's fine.

-Kim

Possibly, but I'd be willing to say it's just the theater owners trying to make more cash.

From "Master of Disguise":
Pistachio: (as Robert Shaw) Twenty-seven kids go in the water... twenty-two come out of the water... the ice cream man, he take the rest...