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Back to the Rock Season 2
Sesame Street Season 54
The Muppets Mayhem premieres
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends BookCold Opening
Fozzie Bear walks into the guest star’s dressing room.
Foz: Hey, Mr. The entertainer... Can you help me with my routine and gimme some of your jokes?
Cedric: No way man, use your own stuff. How bad can it be?
Foz: Yer right. Hey! Why did the rooster NOT cross the road? Because he was chicken
Cedric: Okay.. you see.. what you need i... Fades out
Kermit: It’s the Muppet Show, with our special Guest, Cedric the entertainer!!!
(Opening theme, Gonzo plays his horn, and out pops a smaller Gonzo with a smaller horn, and another Gonzo pops out of that, he turns to the camera and says, "Maybe I should stop buying Music intruments the same place I get Russian Nesting dolls!")
Opening Number: The Muppet Rock Band (litterally a rock band, they are four cavemen banging on rocks) Sing Papa was a rolling stone, before getting crushed by a giant rolling stone themselves.
Statler: WOW!! A rock crushing the act. What would you call that?\
Waldorf: A "Crushing" bore!!!
Swedish Chef: Cedric (as Chef Reverend) along with the Swedish Chef, belts out another sermon on cooking. He then tells the Chef to follow the recipe, but the Chef doesn’t want to. Cedric then goes on a tangent about how the Devil is giving the Chef temptation to stary from the sacred text of the cook book (the devil is out in the audience and says, "I’m doing no such thing!" Cedric and the devil have a fight that keeps going back and forth for 2 seconds)
Cedric: Do you know what HAPPENS if you do not follow... the recipe?
(there is a loud bang, and the Chef goes flying)
Cedric: That!
Chef (staggering up, all burnt) Yi goo see der light!
Song: Wayne and Wanda (with the Jughugger band) sing (or try to) Peaches
Wayne: Goin’ to the country, gonna eat a lot of Peaches ....
The whole orchard of peaches collapses on Wayne, Wanda, and the band... (one banmd member said.."Tha’s okay.. I like pears better anyway!")
Statler: What do you think of canned peaches?
Waldorf: I don’t mind them as much as the Canned Laughter.. Dwoh ho ho ho!!!!
Backstage: Cedric is exhausted after that sketch, and decides to hang backstage, when he looks at Piggy and Kermit together.
Cedric: So are you two guys tight?
Kermit: Eh...come again?
Cedric: I’m sayin’ are you two tight?
Piggy: I dunno about the Frog, but this out fit sure is.. when I get my hands on my dry cleaner.....
Cedric: Okay.. are you two a couple?
Kermit shouts no and Piggy shouts yes at the same time.
Cedric: Well, Piggy.. you are looking fine!
Piggy: I.. I am? I mean, of Course I am....
Cedric: How’d you like to be a dancer on my show?
Kermit: I’m sure Piggy would love to, but I’m afraid she’s under contract here.
Piggy: Can it, lizard lips, this may be my only chance to be on Fox.
Suddenly a big Fox comes up and says..."Uh... you’re not going to sit on me, are you?"
Piggy gives him a karate chop.
Vendaface: The vendaface machine is up and running. But now, it’s a Vend a haircut machine. Several Muppets (including Fat Blue) are lined up to get a hair cut.. unfortunately, it only despences Mullets. Statler and Waldorf are the last ones to get this hair style.
Waldorf: Great! It looks like we went back to the 80’s.
Statler; I wish we were back in OUR 80’s! Dwoh ho ho... sigh... (they both sadly slink away)
Newsflash: The Muppet Newsman introduces his new Anchor (Cedric), and reports a new story about how news men from all over the world are being bonked off the head with giantt mallets by their co-anchors. The newsman turns to get another piece of paper, and says "In other news" at which point, Cedric bonks him with a mallet. The Newsman turns to look at him, and Cedric says "hey! Wasn’t me." And looks totally innocent. The Newsman turns again, and Cedric bops him again.
Cedric: What did I do?
He does this again, the newsman is furious and bonks him with a mallet. Cedric leaves in disgust.. The Newsman finished the other story about a recall of Aunt Mal’s Mallable Mallets which can break off the handles (while holding it). The Wooden mallet head falls off, and bangs him on the head.
Backstage: Piggy is so thrilled about being chosen to be a dancer, that she’s deciding to leave the Muppet theater to dance on Cedric’s Show. Kermit is angry with Piggy, and then starts talking to Cedric, trying to get her out of leaving.
Cedric: You.. uh.. do know, you’ll only be on the show for about five minuites collectively...
Piggy: You’ve been talking to the frog, haven’t you.
Cedric: Okay! Let me see you shake yo’ groove thing.
Piggy pulls out an old record and shakes it....
Piggy: OH.. you mean dance...
She does, and ends with a florish kick.. right in Cedric’s crotch.
Song: Rowlf the Dog sings Elton John’s "can you feel the love tonight" to a couple who slowly experiences an argument.. at one point they start yelling at eachother and flinging food. Rowlf then stops and sings another Elton John song... Saturday Night’s Alright for a fight.
At the Dance
Cedric dances with a female muppet.
Female: So.. you really love me, right.
Cedric. You know it! You’re my one and only. (five more Muppet women come up and give him dirty looks)
Female: Who are they?
Cedic: My two and only, my three and only....
Travelling Matt Dances with Piggy.
Maat: My, you silly creatures have quite a dancing technique.
Piggy: Yeah.. I know..
Matt: I’d have never guessed you could dance by stepping on my feet so hard.
Cookie Monster Dances with a woman monster
Woman: So, you’re from Sesame Street? How’s that going?
Cookie Monster: It fine.. but me lose many stock options, because me trade it in for cookies...
Fozzie’s comedy Corner: Fozzie and Lew Zeland tell numerous bad "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup" jokes. Statler and Waldorf keep booing them off the stage
Fozzie: Well, don’t blame me. It’s an old joke.
Statler: Everything you do is an old joke
Fozzie: Of course it’s old to you. Why I bet you can remember hearing it for the first time! (They are shocked that Fozzie could be so bold as to snap back at them, and tell him that was uncalled for)
Fozzie: I’m.. I’m sorry...
Waldorf: Of course you are, with jokes like that!
UK Skit: Three really ugly slimy monsters sing the Sesame Street classic, "What I am Is Pretty"
Pigs in Space: Cedric enters the ship as a friendly hitchhiker.. unfortunately, the crew doesn’t know he’s a pirate. Not only that, but he’s no ordinary pirate, but a dreaded VIDEO pirate, and attempts to sell them cheap bootleg videos. No matter how much they beg and plead, they cannot seem to get rid of him untill they buy something. Unfortunately, the federation can’t pay them until they change intergalactic banks, and they have no money.
Backstage: Kermit finally gets Piggy to stay with the theater, but there’s another problem.. Bobby Benson gets beaned by a baby bottle and cannot conduct the band whho is to play "Barber of Seville" (he actually says, No sir, that’s NOT my baby!) Cedric explains that he can conduct them, sure, but he needs time to prepare. He has none...
Closing Number: Cedric Conducts the band, and the music changes.. in fact, now it sounds like a Barry White version of Barber of Seville...
Statler and Waldorf are still wearing Mullet hair cuts.
Statler: A barber of Seville?
Waldorf: Yes.. maybe he can free us from this dated hairstyle!
Kermit and Cedric close the show, singing that sonmg that he sings at the end of his show. Piggy then rushes up and says she’s ready to dance for the show, but Cedric leaves (frightened and uncomfortable) and tells her it’s too late and he has to go. Piggy chases angrilly after him.
Closing theme.
Statler: I’ve decided to take a cue from Cedric and give myself a new nickname.
Waldorf: What’s that?
Statler: Statler the uninterrested!
Zoot blows sax, and a smaller Zoot comes out with a smaller horn, with a smaller Zoot and a smaller horn. He turns and shouts, "GONZO!!!!!"
Fozzie Bear walks into the guest star’s dressing room.
Foz: Hey, Mr. The entertainer... Can you help me with my routine and gimme some of your jokes?
Cedric: No way man, use your own stuff. How bad can it be?
Foz: Yer right. Hey! Why did the rooster NOT cross the road? Because he was chicken
Cedric: Okay.. you see.. what you need i... Fades out
Kermit: It’s the Muppet Show, with our special Guest, Cedric the entertainer!!!
(Opening theme, Gonzo plays his horn, and out pops a smaller Gonzo with a smaller horn, and another Gonzo pops out of that, he turns to the camera and says, "Maybe I should stop buying Music intruments the same place I get Russian Nesting dolls!")
Opening Number: The Muppet Rock Band (litterally a rock band, they are four cavemen banging on rocks) Sing Papa was a rolling stone, before getting crushed by a giant rolling stone themselves.
Statler: WOW!! A rock crushing the act. What would you call that?\
Waldorf: A "Crushing" bore!!!
Swedish Chef: Cedric (as Chef Reverend) along with the Swedish Chef, belts out another sermon on cooking. He then tells the Chef to follow the recipe, but the Chef doesn’t want to. Cedric then goes on a tangent about how the Devil is giving the Chef temptation to stary from the sacred text of the cook book (the devil is out in the audience and says, "I’m doing no such thing!" Cedric and the devil have a fight that keeps going back and forth for 2 seconds)
Cedric: Do you know what HAPPENS if you do not follow... the recipe?
(there is a loud bang, and the Chef goes flying)
Cedric: That!
Chef (staggering up, all burnt) Yi goo see der light!
Song: Wayne and Wanda (with the Jughugger band) sing (or try to) Peaches
Wayne: Goin’ to the country, gonna eat a lot of Peaches ....
The whole orchard of peaches collapses on Wayne, Wanda, and the band... (one banmd member said.."Tha’s okay.. I like pears better anyway!")
Statler: What do you think of canned peaches?
Waldorf: I don’t mind them as much as the Canned Laughter.. Dwoh ho ho ho!!!!
Backstage: Cedric is exhausted after that sketch, and decides to hang backstage, when he looks at Piggy and Kermit together.
Cedric: So are you two guys tight?
Kermit: Eh...come again?
Cedric: I’m sayin’ are you two tight?
Piggy: I dunno about the Frog, but this out fit sure is.. when I get my hands on my dry cleaner.....
Cedric: Okay.. are you two a couple?
Kermit shouts no and Piggy shouts yes at the same time.
Cedric: Well, Piggy.. you are looking fine!
Piggy: I.. I am? I mean, of Course I am....
Cedric: How’d you like to be a dancer on my show?
Kermit: I’m sure Piggy would love to, but I’m afraid she’s under contract here.
Piggy: Can it, lizard lips, this may be my only chance to be on Fox.
Suddenly a big Fox comes up and says..."Uh... you’re not going to sit on me, are you?"
Piggy gives him a karate chop.
Vendaface: The vendaface machine is up and running. But now, it’s a Vend a haircut machine. Several Muppets (including Fat Blue) are lined up to get a hair cut.. unfortunately, it only despences Mullets. Statler and Waldorf are the last ones to get this hair style.
Waldorf: Great! It looks like we went back to the 80’s.
Statler; I wish we were back in OUR 80’s! Dwoh ho ho... sigh... (they both sadly slink away)
Newsflash: The Muppet Newsman introduces his new Anchor (Cedric), and reports a new story about how news men from all over the world are being bonked off the head with giantt mallets by their co-anchors. The newsman turns to get another piece of paper, and says "In other news" at which point, Cedric bonks him with a mallet. The Newsman turns to look at him, and Cedric says "hey! Wasn’t me." And looks totally innocent. The Newsman turns again, and Cedric bops him again.
Cedric: What did I do?
He does this again, the newsman is furious and bonks him with a mallet. Cedric leaves in disgust.. The Newsman finished the other story about a recall of Aunt Mal’s Mallable Mallets which can break off the handles (while holding it). The Wooden mallet head falls off, and bangs him on the head.
Backstage: Piggy is so thrilled about being chosen to be a dancer, that she’s deciding to leave the Muppet theater to dance on Cedric’s Show. Kermit is angry with Piggy, and then starts talking to Cedric, trying to get her out of leaving.
Cedric: You.. uh.. do know, you’ll only be on the show for about five minuites collectively...
Piggy: You’ve been talking to the frog, haven’t you.
Cedric: Okay! Let me see you shake yo’ groove thing.
Piggy pulls out an old record and shakes it....
Piggy: OH.. you mean dance...
She does, and ends with a florish kick.. right in Cedric’s crotch.
Song: Rowlf the Dog sings Elton John’s "can you feel the love tonight" to a couple who slowly experiences an argument.. at one point they start yelling at eachother and flinging food. Rowlf then stops and sings another Elton John song... Saturday Night’s Alright for a fight.
At the Dance
Cedric dances with a female muppet.
Female: So.. you really love me, right.
Cedric. You know it! You’re my one and only. (five more Muppet women come up and give him dirty looks)
Female: Who are they?
Cedic: My two and only, my three and only....
Travelling Matt Dances with Piggy.
Maat: My, you silly creatures have quite a dancing technique.
Piggy: Yeah.. I know..
Matt: I’d have never guessed you could dance by stepping on my feet so hard.
Cookie Monster Dances with a woman monster
Woman: So, you’re from Sesame Street? How’s that going?
Cookie Monster: It fine.. but me lose many stock options, because me trade it in for cookies...
Fozzie’s comedy Corner: Fozzie and Lew Zeland tell numerous bad "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup" jokes. Statler and Waldorf keep booing them off the stage
Fozzie: Well, don’t blame me. It’s an old joke.
Statler: Everything you do is an old joke
Fozzie: Of course it’s old to you. Why I bet you can remember hearing it for the first time! (They are shocked that Fozzie could be so bold as to snap back at them, and tell him that was uncalled for)
Fozzie: I’m.. I’m sorry...
Waldorf: Of course you are, with jokes like that!
UK Skit: Three really ugly slimy monsters sing the Sesame Street classic, "What I am Is Pretty"
Pigs in Space: Cedric enters the ship as a friendly hitchhiker.. unfortunately, the crew doesn’t know he’s a pirate. Not only that, but he’s no ordinary pirate, but a dreaded VIDEO pirate, and attempts to sell them cheap bootleg videos. No matter how much they beg and plead, they cannot seem to get rid of him untill they buy something. Unfortunately, the federation can’t pay them until they change intergalactic banks, and they have no money.
Backstage: Kermit finally gets Piggy to stay with the theater, but there’s another problem.. Bobby Benson gets beaned by a baby bottle and cannot conduct the band whho is to play "Barber of Seville" (he actually says, No sir, that’s NOT my baby!) Cedric explains that he can conduct them, sure, but he needs time to prepare. He has none...
Closing Number: Cedric Conducts the band, and the music changes.. in fact, now it sounds like a Barry White version of Barber of Seville...
Statler and Waldorf are still wearing Mullet hair cuts.
Statler: A barber of Seville?
Waldorf: Yes.. maybe he can free us from this dated hairstyle!
Kermit and Cedric close the show, singing that sonmg that he sings at the end of his show. Piggy then rushes up and says she’s ready to dance for the show, but Cedric leaves (frightened and uncomfortable) and tells her it’s too late and he has to go. Piggy chases angrilly after him.
Closing theme.
Statler: I’ve decided to take a cue from Cedric and give myself a new nickname.
Waldorf: What’s that?
Statler: Statler the uninterrested!
Zoot blows sax, and a smaller Zoot comes out with a smaller horn, with a smaller Zoot and a smaller horn. He turns and shouts, "GONZO!!!!!"
