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TMS outline- Elliott Gould!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Gorgon Heap, Jan 13, 2005.

  1. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Active Member

    This outline has been sitting around for ages, and in fact it's been almost complete for a couple of months. So while I was working on another outline, I chanced upon this one and finished it off (it's not as detailed as a lot of the more recent ones though.)

    If there's anyone who isn't familiar with Elliott Gould, he was the original "Trapper John" McIntyre in Robert Altman's "M*A*S*H" (which spawned the hit TV series), was an Oscar nominee for the sex comedy "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice", was a frequent host of "Saturday Night Live" in it's early days (usually opening the show with an old-fashioned song and dance number, like "Crazy Rhythm" or "Anything Goes") and is probably known to younger folks for his recurring role as Ross & Monica's father on "Friends" and his role in the "Ocean's Eleven" remake and it's follow-up "Ocean's Twelve".

    Oh, and he was the only celebrity to cameo in TWO Muppet movies: he was the beauty pageant host in "The Muppet Movie" and the cop in Pete's Diner (who overhears Kermit's "I've gotta go get a contract so I can kill 'em") in "The Muppets Take Manhattan", which led me to believe that he probably wanted to be a guest star on The Muppet Show but for whatever reason wasn't available.

    Submitted for your approval:

    Kermit: "It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Elliott Gould! YAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

    SPECIAL GUEST STAR: Elliott Gould

    STYLE: EARLY SEASON FIVE (circa Loretta Swit, Joan Baez)

    COLD OPENING: Pops is gargling when Elliott walks in.

    Pops: “Oh! Who’re you?”

    Elliott: “I’m Elliott Gould. Kermit asked me to be the guest star on tonight’s Muppet Show.”

    Pops: “Elliott Gould! Oh, Kermit said to give you this present. It’s a cuff Link.”

    Elliott: “You mean cuff links?”

    Pops: “No, just one. Hey Link!”

    (Link enters and sticks his snout into Elliott’s cuff.)

    Link: “Uh, let’s go, big fella.”

    Elliott: “Fine. I just won't wear it to a Bar Mitzvah.”

    GONZO: Gonzo is about to blow the trumpet, when Lips enters the ‘O’, grabs Gonzo’s trumpet, and plays a riff on it, to Gonzo’s chagrin.

    OPENING NUMBER: “Dancing in the Moonlight”- the Muppets have a moonlit party... in this old couple’s backyard! (Watch out for the flying cow!)

    Statler: “Weird. What did they need the cow for?”

    Waldorf: “Well after all, they were dancing in the MOOOOOOnlight! Heh heh heh!” (Statler makes a face.)

    BACKSTAGE: Kermit is busy organizing the big closing number, “Circus of the Muppets”, but it’s riddled with problems. First off, the elephant he rented is trapped in a phone booth (so is his handler!)

    SONG: “Slap That Bass”- Elliott does an old-style song and dance with the Muppets, backed by the Electric Mayhem and other musicians.

    Waldorf: “Well, what did you think of Elliott?”

    Statler: “Terrific!”

    Waldorf: “How about that band?”

    Statler: “I wish they’d zoom, zoom, zoom out of here!”

    S & W: “Ha ha ha ha ha!”

    BACKSTAGE: More bad news: Scooter accidentally booked both the Flying Zucchini Brothers AND the Bouncing Borcelino Brothers (instead of either or).

    MUPPET NEWS: The Newsman rushes in.

    Newsman: “Here is a Muppet Newsflash! Dateline: Auckland, New Zealand. Mr. Bernard Fitzgibbons of that city is trying to break the world’s record for longest rocket launch, and-”

    (The rocket crashes into the desk.)

    VET‘S HOSPITAL: Pops is the patient, in with a sore throat and cough

    UK SPOT: “A Little Bit of Soul (Sole)” Lew Zealand sings, accompanied by Dr. Teeth (in front of red curtain)

    CANTEEN: Kermit is drowning his frustration in root beer when Elliott enters. Asking what’s wrong, Kermit tells him about the difficulty in planning the closing number, but Elliott knows that if it wasn‘t worth it, Kermit wouldn‘t be doing it at all- SONG: “Accentuate the Positive”- Elliott sings to Kermit

    PIGS IN SPACE: Sam the Eagle gets hoodwinked into making a guest appearance as a villain, eventually coming to realize that, no, the ridiculous costume he’s wearing is not Shakespearean garb, nor is the dialogue he is reciting from “Richard III”.

    Waldorf: “That eagle will just never learn.”

    Statler: “Yeah, but we can say the same for ourselves, can’t we?”

    (Audience laughs, S & W do not)

    SONG: “The Long and Winding Road”- a whatnot man walking down a wintry path

    BACKSTAGE: Kermit and company make rushed last-minute preparations for the big closing number.

    CLOSING NUMBER: “Circus of the Muppets”- Elliott is the ringmaster in a Muppet circus that includes the Zucchini Brothers, the Bouncing Borcelino Brothers, Fozzie’s clown act, Link’s lion taming act, Gonzo’s tightrope motorcycling act, Miss Piggy’s trapeze act (and unintentional ‘pig cannonball’ act once she crashes into Gonzo and falls in the cannon.)

    CURTAIN: Kermit enters.

    Kermit: "Well, time has come now to take down the tent and put this show back in it's cage. But not before we say thank you to our wonderful guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Elliott Gould! YAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!"

    (Elliott enters)

    Elliott: "Thank you, Kermit. I've had a wonderful time, no lyin'."

    (The lion enters.)

    Lion: "Grrr! What is this about no lion, huh?! Do you mean that I was the only part of the show you didn't enjoy?!"

    (Elliott and the lion continue arguing.)

    Kermit: "Uh, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!"

    (Elliott, Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Link, Lew Zealand, a Zucchini brother, a Borcelino brother, the tiger, and the lion gather around.)

    Waldorf: “Well, what should we do now?”

    Statler: “What do you mean?”

    Waldorf: “The night is young!”

    Statler: “That’s the problem- we’re not!”

    Comments welcome.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  2. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Active Member


    Nothing? Bueller? Bueller?

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  3. JaniceFerSure

    JaniceFerSure Active Member

    It was good David.It would have been nice to see the whole fan-fic in your usual writing detailed form;but I liked it none-the-less.Thanks for choosing Elliot,he's a great actor.
  4. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan New Member

    By the way Gorgon, would you mind doing an outline for a late second season episode with Morgan Freeman?
  5. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Active Member

    There is a reason for that; this is one of the earlier outlines that I started, and since then I've added more detail into these. Also, I pretty much just wanted to get it done. Maybe I'll revise it in greater detail, though.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  6. Which specific muppets are in this number?

    Which other muppets appear in this number, besides the Electric Mayhem?

    Which other muppets are in this number?
  7. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan New Member

    Various Whatnots, Fozzie, Scooter, Floyd, Janice, Gonzo, Afghan Hound, Baskerville, and Droop.

    Some Whatnots, Zelda Rose, Annie Sue, a few penguins, and several Frackles.

    The following Muppets are featured in the circus audience: Afghan Hound, Green Boppity, several Whatnots, Dr. Strangepork, Snake of "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas", Gladys the Cafeteria Lady, Baby Koozebanians, Dark Green Hunchback Frackle, Hudson of "The Muppet Show: Sex & Violence", Snowths, Shakey Sanchez, Ernie, Oscar the Grouch, Guy Smiley, and Two-Headed Monster.
  8. Even though you once again answered questions directed to Gorgon Heap, I'm still going to ask which frackles are in this number (Boppity? Gloat? Droop? Lenny the Lizard? Who?)
  9. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan New Member

    The Frackles included in this number will be the following: Purple Frackle with Green Hunchback Frackle, Dark Green Hunchback Frackle with Pink Boppity, and Green Boppity with Flower-Eating Monster. Okay, Flower-Eating Monster is not a Frackle.
  10. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Active Member

    TotallySpiesFan, please stop answering questions that are addressed to me!. If the answers you're giving are how you visualize it, fine, but you're not a mind reader, so please don't presume to speak on my behalf- it's past annoying.

    I kinda got the idea for this from a mattress commercial from a few years ago (well, it was some commercial- the one with the trampoline in the backyard at night). A lot of Whatnots, one or two Season Five frackles, some of the prairie dogs, a couple of chickens, pigs, and frogs, an old (Whatnot) couple, and a cow. The Muppets are having a party in some old couple's backyard, and some are jumping on a trampoline (Shaky Sanchez and the Male and Female Koozebanians are among the trampoline jumpers, as well as the chickens and frogs).

    Some Whatnot musicians, to begin with. Also Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Annie Sue, Lew Zealand, and Beauregard.

    The tiger, a trained seal and Whatnot trainer, Old Skyball Paint, Lew Zealand, Crazy Harry, and a few assorted Whatnots.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  11. Which seal? The mama seal that appeared in "On the Bayou", the opening number of the Gene Kelly episode?
  12. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan New Member

    Yep, Mama Seal.
  13. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Active Member

    Come to think of it, I don't think they had seals on TMS prior to the last episode. Those seals were built for the Gene Kelly episode, which was the last episode to tape (in mid-August of 1980).

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  14. Who performed the following characters:

    -the old couple in the opening number
    -the Bouncing Borcelano Brothers
    -the Zucchini Brothers
    -the whatnot who sings "The Long and Winding Road"
    -the tiger
    -the lion
    -the trained seal and its whatnot trainer
    -Old Skyball Paint
    -the Whatnots in the closing number

    Gorgon Heap, please note that I've decided not to ask who performed who in choruses and to stick primarily to characters in more prominent and may have actual lines.
  15. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan New Member

    Old Couple- Steve Whitmire & Louise Gold
    Bouncing Borcelano Bros.- Richard Hunt, Dave Goelz, Jerry Nelson, Steve Whitmire
    Zuchinni Bros.- Frank Oz, Richard Hunt, Jerry Nelson, Dave Goelz
    Whatnot from "Long & Winding Road"- Jerry Nelson
    Tiger- Dave Goelz
    Lion- Jim Henson
    Seal & His Trainer- Steve Whitmire & Frank Oz
    Old Skyball Paint- Jerry Nelson
    Whatnots in Final Number- Various
  16. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan New Member

    Old Couple- Steve Whitmire & Louise Gold
    Bouncing Borcelano Bros.- Richard Hunt, Dave Goelz, Jerry Nelson, Steve Whitmire
    Zuchinni Bros.- Frank Oz, Richard Hunt, Jerry Nelson, Dave Goelz
    Whatnot from "Long & Winding Road"- Jerry Nelson
    Tiger- Dave Goelz
    Lion- Jim Henson
    Seal & His Trainer- Steve Whitmire & Frank Oz
    Old Skyball Paint- Jerry Nelson
    Whatnots in Final Number- Various
  17. I'm still waiting for answers, Gorgon Heap.
  18. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Active Member

    -the old couple in the opening number: Frank and Kathy (Steve on lead vocals)
    -the Bouncing Borcelano Brothers: Richard, Jerry, Dave, Steve
    -the Zucchini Brothers: Frank, Richard, and Dave
    -the whatnot who sings "The Long and Winding Road": Jerry
    -the tiger: Dave
    -the lion: Jim
    -the trained seal and its whatnot trainer: Steve is the trainer, Dave is the seal
    -Old Skyball Paint: doesn't speak
    -the Whatnots in the closing number: Steve, Kathy, Betsy Baytos

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
  19. TotallySpiesFan

    TotallySpiesFan New Member

    What Season 5 Frackles appear?
  20. Gorgon Heap

    Gorgon Heap Active Member

    The blue-green one and the red one.

    David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

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