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This setting for this episode outline is Season 4-1979/80
BRIEF OPENNING
-----------------
Scooter:"Captain and Tennille,fifteen seconds 'till curtain".
Daryl Dragon(Captian) and Toni Tennille:"Thank you Scooter".
Toni:"Now Daryl,please keep in mind that this is The Muppet Show.It isn't quite like our own variety show,where we were the hosts".
Daryl:"You were the host and star of the whole show.I was nothing more than the pianist".
Toni:"Well anyway,our goal tonight is to be loyal guest stars,just like the guests we had on our show:"
Stone Beethoven Head(suddenly coming to life):"And please,none of your hat jokes".
(Daryl and Toni look to the camera in sudden shock.)
OPENNING THEME
------------------
Before even getting the chance to blow his horn,Gonzo is sent flying right out of the logo by the sound of a foghorn that Fozzie had snuck up behind him with.
OPENNING NUMBER
-------------------
Wanda,Janice and Annie Sue,in a large double bed in a bedroom setting,perform"Mister Sandman".Midway through the number,Sweetims climbs in through the bedroom window as the sandman,and sprinkles colorful stardust over Janice,Wanda and Annie Sue,from out of a large beige sack.
Waldorf:"I have a dream."
Statler:"What's that?"
Waldorf:"My dream is for this show to be over."
(Both laugh)
(Sweetims suddenly enters their theatre box,and spills the rest of his sack's stardust all over them.)
BACKSTAGE
------------
Kermit:"Well done."
Annie Sue:"But Mr.Kermit,it would have been even better if you had played the sandman."
Miss Piggy:"Don't press your luck Annabelle."
(Annie Sue leaves.)
Miss Piggy:"Kermie,you didn't tell me there would be a handsome hunk as our guest star here tonight".
Kermit:"Piggy he's Daryl Dragon,part of the husband and wife band The Captain & Tennille".
Miss Piggy:"Oh so he's married?"
Kermit:"Of course."
Miss Piggy:"Oh well,regardless,you won't pass by an oppertunity to hook moi up with a georgous bombshell like him for a duet number,will you?"
Kermit:"Piggy his wife is on the show too.That's out of the question".
Miss Piggy:"HYYAAHH"(misses Kermit and knocks the intercom unit off the wall)
Kermit(suddenly shaken up):"I'll see what I can do."
GUEST STAR SPOT
--------------------
Toni performs"Love Will Keep Us Together",accompanied by Daryl on piano,and The Electric Mayhem Band.
BACKSTAGE
------------
Kermit(to Rowlf):"It's nothing against you Rowlf.One of tonight's guest stars just happens to be a regular pianist".(to Toni and Daryl as they enter backstage)"Wonderful.Outstanding number".
Toni and Daryl:"Thank you Kermit".
(Rowlf walks off in a huff.)
Daryl:"Listen Kermit,I hope Rowlf's feelings aren't hurt about me taking over as pianist tonight."
Kermit:"Oh think nothing of it Daryl.Rowlf's got enough to worry about just being a dog."
Rowlf:"And what's that supposed to mean?"(he and a bunch of other muppet dogs suddenly surround Kermit in a threatening manner)
Toni
with a laugh)"Oh dear Kermit,I'm afraid it sounds as if you've put your flipper in your mouth".
SKETCH
--------
Muppet version of Laurel & Hardy:
--------------------------------
Hardy:"What a gloooorious day.What did you bring us for lunch today Stanley?"
Laurel:"Hard boiled eggs and nuts."
Hardy:"Now You know I can't eat hard boiled eggs and nuts.Why didn't you at least bring a box of candy for me?"
Laurel:"Because it costs too much."
Hardy:"What has that got to do with it?"
Laurel:"You didn't pay me back for the last one I bought you".
Hardy(shaking his head in disbeleif):"Hard boiled eggs and nuts HUMPH."(pulls Laurel's bowler hat over his eyes)
(Laurel responds by flicking his fingers in Hardy's ear.Hardy then pulls Laurel's bow tie so that it hits him in the throat.Laurel pulls out a pair of scissors from his suit pocket and cuts Hardy's necktie in half.Hardy takes Laurel's bowler hat and stomps on it.Laurel picks up his flattened hat and does his famous whimpering cry.)
Statler:"I'll be darned if we have to see those two clowns on this show again."
Waldorf:"That would be another fine mess they'd gotten us into."
(Both laugh)
FOZZIE BEAR SKETCH
----------------------
Fozzie is joined by guest star Daryl in telling hat jokes.Only Daryl appears to get all the laughs from the audience.
DRESSING ROOM
----------------
(Toni and Daryl are freshening up in their dressing room,when there's a knock on the door.)
Toni:"Come in."
Miss Piggy:"Ooohoo man of my heart.(gives Daryl a kiss on the cheek
(turns to Toni)"Drop dead."
Toni:"Pardon me?"
Miss Piggy:"I saw him first.You've had him long enough sister.Why don't ya' go and write some more of your lame brained songs."
(turns to Daryl)"Daryl Dragon.A beautiful name for such gorgeous man like yourself."
Darylin a deep British accent)"No no you're terribley mistaken.I'm Bernie Taupin,composer of Elton John.Who in the world is this Daryl Dragon?"
Miss Piggy:"Must have the wrong dressing room."(leaves the room)
Toni:"Honey I'm impressed.You pulled that off so well."
Daryl:"Well let me put it to you this way Toni.I can definetly tell the difference between a pretty woman and live bacon."
SKETCH
--------
Muskrat muppets perform"Muskrat Love".
VETRINARIAN'S HOSPITAL
-------------------------
Patient is Fat Blue.Doctor Bob claims that their pateint had food poisoning from Grover's Resturant.But Fat Blue has a sense of humour and gets in on the ongoing jokes Doctor Bob,Nurse Piggy and Nurse Janice have to offer.
SKETCH
-------
Daryl and Rowlf set aside their differences and engage in a delightful piano playing duet.
GUEST STAR SPOT
------------------
Toni performs"Do That To Me One More Time",accompanied by Daryl on piano and Zoot on clarinet.
Miss Piggyenters stage at the end of song)"A woman must be able to express her true feelings to the man she has deep feelings for."
Daryl:"And what might you be trying to imply?"
Miss Piggy:"One doesn't have to say"I Love You"in a song,do they?Those three words can be implied in many other terms."
Toni:"Well sure,there are many different terms to describe one's true love for another."
Miss Piggy:"And what would the likes of you know about true romance?That phony glamour and makeup of yours is bound to go out of style long before you do."
(turns to Daryl and sings"I've Got A Crush On You")
CLOSING NUMBER
-----------------
Crowd of muppets sit on soft cushions in a circle around Toni and Daryl at the piano.The muppets being Fozzie,Gonzo,Scooter,Rowlf,Sam,Wanda,Annie Sue,Janice,Laurel & Hardy,Fat Blue,Robin,Bunsun,Beaker,Bouragard,Uncle Deadley,Zoot,the muskrats and Sweetims.Toni performs"Let The Sunshine In"(song once performed by Pebbles and Bamm Bamm in an episode of The Flintstones).Everyone in the circle eventually sings along.Even the audience eventually sings along too.
CLOSING THEME
----------------
Statler:"Can love really keep people together?"
Waldorf:"The only thing that could
keep anyone together on this show is crazy glue."
(Both laugh)
BRIEF OPENNING
-----------------
Scooter:"Captain and Tennille,fifteen seconds 'till curtain".
Daryl Dragon(Captian) and Toni Tennille:"Thank you Scooter".
Toni:"Now Daryl,please keep in mind that this is The Muppet Show.It isn't quite like our own variety show,where we were the hosts".
Daryl:"You were the host and star of the whole show.I was nothing more than the pianist".
Toni:"Well anyway,our goal tonight is to be loyal guest stars,just like the guests we had on our show:"
Stone Beethoven Head(suddenly coming to life):"And please,none of your hat jokes".
(Daryl and Toni look to the camera in sudden shock.)
OPENNING THEME
------------------
Before even getting the chance to blow his horn,Gonzo is sent flying right out of the logo by the sound of a foghorn that Fozzie had snuck up behind him with.
OPENNING NUMBER
-------------------
Wanda,Janice and Annie Sue,in a large double bed in a bedroom setting,perform"Mister Sandman".Midway through the number,Sweetims climbs in through the bedroom window as the sandman,and sprinkles colorful stardust over Janice,Wanda and Annie Sue,from out of a large beige sack.
Waldorf:"I have a dream."
Statler:"What's that?"
Waldorf:"My dream is for this show to be over."
(Both laugh)
(Sweetims suddenly enters their theatre box,and spills the rest of his sack's stardust all over them.)
BACKSTAGE
------------
Kermit:"Well done."
Annie Sue:"But Mr.Kermit,it would have been even better if you had played the sandman."
Miss Piggy:"Don't press your luck Annabelle."
(Annie Sue leaves.)
Miss Piggy:"Kermie,you didn't tell me there would be a handsome hunk as our guest star here tonight".
Kermit:"Piggy he's Daryl Dragon,part of the husband and wife band The Captain & Tennille".
Miss Piggy:"Oh so he's married?"
Kermit:"Of course."
Miss Piggy:"Oh well,regardless,you won't pass by an oppertunity to hook moi up with a georgous bombshell like him for a duet number,will you?"
Kermit:"Piggy his wife is on the show too.That's out of the question".
Miss Piggy:"HYYAAHH"(misses Kermit and knocks the intercom unit off the wall)
Kermit(suddenly shaken up):"I'll see what I can do."
GUEST STAR SPOT
--------------------
Toni performs"Love Will Keep Us Together",accompanied by Daryl on piano,and The Electric Mayhem Band.
BACKSTAGE
------------
Kermit(to Rowlf):"It's nothing against you Rowlf.One of tonight's guest stars just happens to be a regular pianist".(to Toni and Daryl as they enter backstage)"Wonderful.Outstanding number".
Toni and Daryl:"Thank you Kermit".
(Rowlf walks off in a huff.)
Daryl:"Listen Kermit,I hope Rowlf's feelings aren't hurt about me taking over as pianist tonight."
Kermit:"Oh think nothing of it Daryl.Rowlf's got enough to worry about just being a dog."
Rowlf:"And what's that supposed to mean?"(he and a bunch of other muppet dogs suddenly surround Kermit in a threatening manner)
Toni
with a laugh)"Oh dear Kermit,I'm afraid it sounds as if you've put your flipper in your mouth".SKETCH
--------
Muppet version of Laurel & Hardy:
--------------------------------
Hardy:"What a gloooorious day.What did you bring us for lunch today Stanley?"
Laurel:"Hard boiled eggs and nuts."
Hardy:"Now You know I can't eat hard boiled eggs and nuts.Why didn't you at least bring a box of candy for me?"
Laurel:"Because it costs too much."
Hardy:"What has that got to do with it?"
Laurel:"You didn't pay me back for the last one I bought you".
Hardy(shaking his head in disbeleif):"Hard boiled eggs and nuts HUMPH."(pulls Laurel's bowler hat over his eyes)
(Laurel responds by flicking his fingers in Hardy's ear.Hardy then pulls Laurel's bow tie so that it hits him in the throat.Laurel pulls out a pair of scissors from his suit pocket and cuts Hardy's necktie in half.Hardy takes Laurel's bowler hat and stomps on it.Laurel picks up his flattened hat and does his famous whimpering cry.)
Statler:"I'll be darned if we have to see those two clowns on this show again."
Waldorf:"That would be another fine mess they'd gotten us into."
(Both laugh)
FOZZIE BEAR SKETCH
----------------------
Fozzie is joined by guest star Daryl in telling hat jokes.Only Daryl appears to get all the laughs from the audience.
DRESSING ROOM
----------------
(Toni and Daryl are freshening up in their dressing room,when there's a knock on the door.)
Toni:"Come in."
Miss Piggy:"Ooohoo man of my heart.(gives Daryl a kiss on the cheek
(turns to Toni)"Drop dead."
Toni:"Pardon me?"
Miss Piggy:"I saw him first.You've had him long enough sister.Why don't ya' go and write some more of your lame brained songs."
(turns to Daryl)"Daryl Dragon.A beautiful name for such gorgeous man like yourself."
Daryl
in a deep British accent)"No no you're terribley mistaken.I'm Bernie Taupin,composer of Elton John.Who in the world is this Daryl Dragon?"Miss Piggy:"Must have the wrong dressing room."(leaves the room)
Toni:"Honey I'm impressed.You pulled that off so well."
Daryl:"Well let me put it to you this way Toni.I can definetly tell the difference between a pretty woman and live bacon."
SKETCH
--------
Muskrat muppets perform"Muskrat Love".
VETRINARIAN'S HOSPITAL
-------------------------
Patient is Fat Blue.Doctor Bob claims that their pateint had food poisoning from Grover's Resturant.But Fat Blue has a sense of humour and gets in on the ongoing jokes Doctor Bob,Nurse Piggy and Nurse Janice have to offer.
SKETCH
-------
Daryl and Rowlf set aside their differences and engage in a delightful piano playing duet.
GUEST STAR SPOT
------------------
Toni performs"Do That To Me One More Time",accompanied by Daryl on piano and Zoot on clarinet.
Miss Piggy
enters stage at the end of song)"A woman must be able to express her true feelings to the man she has deep feelings for."Daryl:"And what might you be trying to imply?"
Miss Piggy:"One doesn't have to say"I Love You"in a song,do they?Those three words can be implied in many other terms."
Toni:"Well sure,there are many different terms to describe one's true love for another."
Miss Piggy:"And what would the likes of you know about true romance?That phony glamour and makeup of yours is bound to go out of style long before you do."
(turns to Daryl and sings"I've Got A Crush On You")
CLOSING NUMBER
-----------------
Crowd of muppets sit on soft cushions in a circle around Toni and Daryl at the piano.The muppets being Fozzie,Gonzo,Scooter,Rowlf,Sam,Wanda,Annie Sue,Janice,Laurel & Hardy,Fat Blue,Robin,Bunsun,Beaker,Bouragard,Uncle Deadley,Zoot,the muskrats and Sweetims.Toni performs"Let The Sunshine In"(song once performed by Pebbles and Bamm Bamm in an episode of The Flintstones).Everyone in the circle eventually sings along.Even the audience eventually sings along too.
CLOSING THEME
----------------
Statler:"Can love really keep people together?"
Waldorf:"The only thing that could
keep anyone together on this show is crazy glue."
(Both laugh)