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Sesame Street Season 54
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Sam and Friends Book
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This would be around the second season.
*COLD OPENING:
Scooter: Benny Hill, fifteen seconds to curtain, Benny Hill
(cuts to Benny on the ceiling)
Benny: Oh that’s just great. Now I can’t get there because I’m stuck on this ceiling.
(Scooter makes Benny’s famous “smirk” look on his face))
*TMS opening credits
Kermit: It’s The Muppet Show…with our very special guest Benny Hill!
Trumpet: Muppet version of Jackie Wright(the short old guy) is seen in the O instead of Gonzo. Fozzie comes out and pats him hard on his head.
*MUSICAL NUMBER(Kermit announces Benny and the Country Trio in a voiceover)
Benny sings "Dustbins of Your Mind" with the Country Trio(Jim, Frank and Jerry) and chrous girls.
Waldorf: What did you think of that?
Statler: Rubbish.
Waldorf: Indeed
Statler: Terribly
Waldorf: Uh-huh.
Statler: (confused) We're talking about what now?
(Waldorf frowns at him)
*BACKSTAGE: Benny, Gonzo and the Zuchinni brothers preparing for their act at the end of the show… A giant egg comes flying out of nowhere and lands on
Kermit’s head. Benny adds “ I guess it’s one of those things that don’t go as planned…”
Cuts to:
WHEN THINGS ON TELEVISION GO WRONG…
*Round-Table Discussion: Kermit, Sam Eagle, Brewsters, Nigel and the David Lazer Muppet are in a table discussion with Mervyn Cruddy, who when before he can actually say anything, accidentally breaks the table made entirely of cardboard(!) and the entire set.
*Newsflash: Newsman reports that they’ve finally found a way for people in the Leaning Tower of Pisa to stay afloat. But before he can say what it is, a giant bear in a tutu(not Fozzie, but played by Frank Oz, sounding a bit like Cookie Monster) bursts into the room dancing to Swan Lake, not knowing that he’s in the wrong program.
*Backstage: Sam makes his usual complaints about the show to Kermit. Benny tells Kermit, Sam and Scooter that he has written a poem, to which Sam agrees to. Benny goes on and says that it’s entitled “Fam and Fufan”. Sam is appalled once again…
*Stage: Benny reads “Fam and Fufan”(where all the Ss have been replaced by Ps, as the title suggests)
*The Swedish Chef and Chinese woman(another character played by Benny) try to get along, but chaos ensues because Chef doesn’t even know that he’s making Chinese food the wrong way(i.e: using a golf club, slinky, giant metal thing and whatnot)
(Waldorf makes loud screams)
Statler: What? You’re really crazy for THAT act??
Waldorf: NO! NO! YOU’RE STANDING ON MY FOOT!
(Statler makes the “look” at the camera)
*Song: "Why Do They Call Her Evil?"(w/ Country trio, female whatnots, Rowlf, and Snowths are in this w/ Benny)
*Another one of those sketches where everyone goes into fast motion/ “Ma Na Ma Na” is heard in the background(like on his show) set in the park. Piggy, Gonzo, Fozzie, Orchestra, Baskerville, BD Monster, Kermit, Benny, more female Muppets, Bunsen, Beaker and the Jackie Wright Muppet are all in this.
*Finale closing number: “Give Me Another Woman Everytime”(w/ Country trio, Droop, Monsters, Link Hogthrob, Scooter, Nigel, Whatnots)
*Curtain
(Kermit and all the other Muppets who were in this episode are onstage w/ Benny)
Kermit: Ladies and gentlemen, that’s all the time we have for tonight, but let’s all give a big hand to our special guest star Mr. Benny Hill
(Giant hand comes out)
(Gonzo and Zucchini Bros perform their act…which causes Gonzo to fly out into the sky)
Benny:…we all look forward to seeing you again very very soon, until next time, Bye bye!
The “chase scene” starts-shot on film. All the Muppets and the guest star, even Statler and Waldorf, are running around being chased by full-body whatnots dressed as constables, giant goose, and other crazy things. Credits roll.
*COLD OPENING:
Scooter: Benny Hill, fifteen seconds to curtain, Benny Hill
(cuts to Benny on the ceiling)
Benny: Oh that’s just great. Now I can’t get there because I’m stuck on this ceiling.
(Scooter makes Benny’s famous “smirk” look on his face))
*TMS opening credits
Kermit: It’s The Muppet Show…with our very special guest Benny Hill!
Trumpet: Muppet version of Jackie Wright(the short old guy) is seen in the O instead of Gonzo. Fozzie comes out and pats him hard on his head.
*MUSICAL NUMBER(Kermit announces Benny and the Country Trio in a voiceover)
Benny sings "Dustbins of Your Mind" with the Country Trio(Jim, Frank and Jerry) and chrous girls.
Waldorf: What did you think of that?
Statler: Rubbish.
Waldorf: Indeed
Statler: Terribly
Waldorf: Uh-huh.
Statler: (confused) We're talking about what now?
(Waldorf frowns at him)
*BACKSTAGE: Benny, Gonzo and the Zuchinni brothers preparing for their act at the end of the show… A giant egg comes flying out of nowhere and lands on
Kermit’s head. Benny adds “ I guess it’s one of those things that don’t go as planned…”
Cuts to:
WHEN THINGS ON TELEVISION GO WRONG…
*Round-Table Discussion: Kermit, Sam Eagle, Brewsters, Nigel and the David Lazer Muppet are in a table discussion with Mervyn Cruddy, who when before he can actually say anything, accidentally breaks the table made entirely of cardboard(!) and the entire set.
*Newsflash: Newsman reports that they’ve finally found a way for people in the Leaning Tower of Pisa to stay afloat. But before he can say what it is, a giant bear in a tutu(not Fozzie, but played by Frank Oz, sounding a bit like Cookie Monster) bursts into the room dancing to Swan Lake, not knowing that he’s in the wrong program.
*Backstage: Sam makes his usual complaints about the show to Kermit. Benny tells Kermit, Sam and Scooter that he has written a poem, to which Sam agrees to. Benny goes on and says that it’s entitled “Fam and Fufan”. Sam is appalled once again…
*Stage: Benny reads “Fam and Fufan”(where all the Ss have been replaced by Ps, as the title suggests)
*The Swedish Chef and Chinese woman(another character played by Benny) try to get along, but chaos ensues because Chef doesn’t even know that he’s making Chinese food the wrong way(i.e: using a golf club, slinky, giant metal thing and whatnot)
(Waldorf makes loud screams)
Statler: What? You’re really crazy for THAT act??
Waldorf: NO! NO! YOU’RE STANDING ON MY FOOT!
(Statler makes the “look” at the camera)
*Song: "Why Do They Call Her Evil?"(w/ Country trio, female whatnots, Rowlf, and Snowths are in this w/ Benny)
*Another one of those sketches where everyone goes into fast motion/ “Ma Na Ma Na” is heard in the background(like on his show) set in the park. Piggy, Gonzo, Fozzie, Orchestra, Baskerville, BD Monster, Kermit, Benny, more female Muppets, Bunsen, Beaker and the Jackie Wright Muppet are all in this.
*Finale closing number: “Give Me Another Woman Everytime”(w/ Country trio, Droop, Monsters, Link Hogthrob, Scooter, Nigel, Whatnots)
*Curtain
(Kermit and all the other Muppets who were in this episode are onstage w/ Benny)
Kermit: Ladies and gentlemen, that’s all the time we have for tonight, but let’s all give a big hand to our special guest star Mr. Benny Hill
(Giant hand comes out)
(Gonzo and Zucchini Bros perform their act…which causes Gonzo to fly out into the sky)
Benny:…we all look forward to seeing you again very very soon, until next time, Bye bye!
The “chase scene” starts-shot on film. All the Muppets and the guest star, even Statler and Waldorf, are running around being chased by full-body whatnots dressed as constables, giant goose, and other crazy things. Credits roll.