Walter's Muppets 60th Anniversary Party

[minor muppetz]

(A clip montage plays with an instrumental version of The Muppet Show theme playing, I'll list what clips appear here later).

(After the clip montage, we see the Muppets gathered in a bar)

Walter: Welcome everybody to the Muppets 60th anniversary. Tonight, we celebrate 60 years of the Muppets, especially Kermit the Frog...
Kermit: (slightly embarrassed) Uh, could you just not mention my age, please?
Walter: I've rented out this bar for my Muppet friends to hang out while we watch a lot of Muppet clips, on all kinds of TVs and formats. (goes to the TVs) We've got widescreen TVs (the bicycle scene from The Muppet Movie plays on that TV), old-fashioned color TVs (Miss Piggy singing "There'll Be Some Changes Made" is shown on that TV), really old black and white TVs (Kermit in the Sam and Friends "Powder Burn" sketch is shown), and even a film projector (the film projector shows the end of the "Happiness Hotel number). Let's start from the behinning, Sam and Friends and other black and white things!

Clips:

• That Old Black Magic
• Visual Thinking
• Purina Dog Chow commercial (asparagus)
• Inchworm (The Jack Paar Show)
• Rowlf on The Jimmy Dean Show ("my bellybutton blew out!")
• Rowlf gives the viewers a stretch break (The Muppets on Puppets)

(everyone applauds)

Dr. Teeth: I think now would be a great time to show the best rock and roll from the Muppets.
Janice: Fer sure!
Animal: Rock-and-Roll! Rock-and-Roll!
Floyd: Hit it!
(Animal hits Floyd)
Floyd: Ouch!
Walter: Okay, here is rock and roll from the Muppets!

Clips:

• "Love Ya to Death" (Sex and Violence version)
• "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"
• "Surfing USA"
• "She Drives Me Crazy"
• "Night Life"
• "You Can't Take No for an Answer"
• Do Wah Diddy
• "Rockin' Robin"
• "Rubber Band Man"
• "Last Dance"
• "Loves Me Like a Rock"
• "The Show Must Go On"
• "The Music Just Keeps on Rolling Along"
• "Muppet Bohemian Rhapsody"
• "Wild Thing"
• "Tenderly"

Rowlf: Of course, there are other genres of music that the Muppets have done as well.

Clips:

• "Life's a Happy Song" (first version)
• "Eight Little Notes"
• "Somebody Stole My Gal"
• "You're Looking at Country"
• "Don't Dilly Dally on the Way"
• "Honeysuckle Rose"
• "Danny Boy"
• "I'm Five"

Walter: And now, here's some of the best moments from our movies.

Clips:

• Montage of all the title cards (while the first verse of "Hey a Movie!" plays)
• "Moving Right Along"
• Beaker tests the security system on the roof
• "Rat Scat"
• Fozziwig's Christmas speech
• Gonzo and Rizzo get tortured by the bad guys
• Pepe uses door-in-a-jar
• time-saving montage
• We're Doing a Sequel (intercut with clips from all of the movies, I'll mention what clips in a later post)

Walter: When we get back, we'll focus on the best of each character.
Statler: Don't you mean the worst of each character?
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Walter: (not amused) Well, I could, but I don't think anybody wants a montage of clips from Muppets from Space, Kermit's Swamp Years, It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, The Muppets' Wizard of Oz, Studio DC, and the holiday special we did with she-who-must-not-be-named.

 

[minor muppetz]

Walter: Welcome back to the special. And now, we look at some clips with the one, the only, Kermit the Fr...
Kermit: Uh, Walter.
Walter: Yes, Kermit?
Kermit: I think it would be better to introduce clips with the others first.
Walter: Well, whatever you say. Anyway, here is the best of the one and only Fozzie Bear!

(Fozzie's theme music plays)

Clips:

• "The Comedian's a Bear"
• Fozzie and Chuckie Time
• Fozzie tells a joke about a sailor who's so fat (from TMM)
• "What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?" (Fozzie's Bear-ly Funny Fridays)
• Fozzie sings a variation of "The Rainbow Connection"
• Fozzie and Snowman's act (A Muppet Family Christmas)
• Fozzie on The Today Show (Jim Henson Hour)
• Bear on Patrol: Assaulting an Officer
• "I've Got Rhythm"
• Fozzie introduces Mr. Bimbo
• Fozzie gets laughs with a laugh track (Miss Piggy's Hollywood)

Fozzie: Thank you, thank you!
Walter: And now here's the best of The Great Gonzo!

(Gonzo's theme music plays)

Clips:

• Gonzo eats a tire
• Gonzo hangs from a feather boa
• Gonzo jumps in front of a taxi
• Gonzo's motorcycle act
• John Cleese stretches Gonzo's arms and legs
• Kermit fastforwards Gonzo (JHH)
• Gonzo and Rizzo's Incredible Discoveries (Muppets Tonight)
• Gonzo decides to hold his breathe until he turns blue
• Gonzo blows up his plumbing company
• "Everyone Matters"

(Chickens cheer)
Gonzo: Thank you, thank you. And now for my next act, I will wear this film strip as a tie!
(the film strip is attached to the projector, and Gonzo accidently hits a button which turns the projector on, sending him into the projector).
Walter: Well, uh, moving right along, here is...
Miss Piggy: Moi, Miss Piggy, right?
Walter: Well actually, uh... Right, right! Here is Miss Piggy!
Miss Piggy: What a surprise!

Clips:

• Vets Hospital: Cow (audience chanting "WE WANT PIGGY!")
• "I Get Around"
• "Tumbling Tumbleweeds" (Rocky Mountain Holiday)
• "Miss Piggy's Fantasy"
• "Something So Right"
• "Waiting at the Church"
• First Mate Piggy takes over as captain when Link gets the dummo rays
• A kid talks with Kermit and Miss Piggy about marriage (Muppet Moments)
• "Staying Alive"
• "Show Me Some Respect" (Muppet Classic Theater)
• "I'm a Woman"

(the pigs applaud)

Walter: So Kermit, do you think it;s time to show your tribute?
Kermit: I still think we should show the others.
Walter: Okay, well, here they are.

Clips:

• Muppet Labs: Elevator Shoes
• The Swedish Chef: Lobsters
• Rowlf's poem on silence
• Sam the Eagle's speech on nudity
• "Two Lost Souls"
• "I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends"
• "Poison Ivy"
• Seymour and Pepe's elefino joke
• "I'm Number One"
• "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
• Wayne and Wanda: Row, Row, Row
• Pops' opening verse of "Happiness Hotel"
• Lew Zealand at the movies
• "Six String Orchestra"
• Crazy Harry blows up Kermit during an introduction (TMS with Sandy Duncan)
• Veterinarian's Hospital: Beauregard
• "I'm a Believer"
• Kermit meets Uncle Deadley
• Johnny's Pasta Playhouse
• Clifford tells the gang to not do any save-the-day heroics (Muppets Tonight with Sandra Bullock)
• Pepe in a tutu (MFS)
• "Mambo Man" (Sing/Dance/Do-Along)
• "New York State of Mind"
• Muppet Sports: Wig Racing
• Muppet News: falling light fixture
• "We're Not Gonna Stop!"

(Walter is at a table with Gorgon Heap, Lips, Chip, Flash, Zelda Rose, Nigel the conductor, Lenny the Lizard, Gaffer, and Seymour)
Walter: In addition, there are a lot of really minor, really obscure characters that only fans like me know. Let's take a look at some of them.
(the obscure characters cheer)

Clips:

• "There are Millions of us Who Are Ugly"
• The Four Fazoobs
• "Sweet Gingerbread Man"
• "Man Eater"
• Gary Chuenga auditions comedy partners
• Gorilla Television: television consumer
• Fozzie tests his material while Hilda needs to find her glasses
• Vicki shows Kermit the demographics
• Mr. Poodlepants catches a butterfly
• Beauregard mistakes Angelo for The Swedish Chef
• Gladys gives Gonzo his food order
• The Houses: my insides are killing me!
• Droop tells Wally not to ask him about love because he never touches this stuff
• George and Mildred in "At the Dance" ("Do you like Ringling?")
• "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour on the Bedpost Overnight?"

(the obscure characters applaud)
Waldorf: Who were those people?
Statler: You don't remember either, huh?
Walter: Well, when we get back, we're going to have a big tribute to Kermit the Frog!

 

[minor muppetz]

Walter: And now it's time to pay tribute to the star of the Muppets, Kermit the Frog!
(everyone applauds)
Kermit: Thank you, thank you...
Walter: No, thank YOU Kermit.
Fozzie: You have done so much for us.
Scooter: If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be here today.
Kermit: Actually we wouldn't be here if it weren't for Jim...
Walter: Kermit is the oldest Muppet ever.
Kermit: (embarrassed) Uh, Walter....
Waldorf: Wait, he's the oldest?
Statler: He doesn't look older than us.
Walter: Let's look at some of my all-time favorite Kermit the Frog clips.
Kermit: I don't think we have time to show all of them.
Walter: (surprised) Oh. Well, here's a smaller selection.

Clips:

• Kermit says that The Muppet Show is voted the best show out of all the shows hosted by frogs
• "Friendship"
• "Frogs"
• Gorgon Heap and Vincent Price try to eat Kermit
• Gene Kelly gives Kermit a dancing lesson
• "Disco Frog"
• "Steppin' Out with a Star"
• "Happy Feet"
• Kermit appears as a producer with an afro
• "Froggy Went A'Courtin'"
• "Once in a Lifetime"
• "I've Grown Accustomed to Your Face" (Dick Cavett Show)
• "Pictures in my Head"
• "Rainbow Connection" (The Muppet Movie)
• "The Rainbow Connection" (The Muppets)

(Everyone applauds)

Miss Piggy: Of course, Kermie and Moi have had some great moments together as well.
Kermit: They just showed one.
Miss Piggy: Well let's show some more.

Clips:

• Kermit talks to Miss Piggy about the "Temptation" number (The Kermit and Piggy Story)
• "Temptation"
• Kermit in Veterinarian's Hospital
• Miss Piggy makes a pig latin joke in "At the Dance"
• "Dancing in the Dark"
• Kermit and Piggy's fight in the park (Great Muppet Caper)
• Kermit acknowledges that they've had many bad times together but should focus more on the good times they've had (The Kermit and Piggy Story)
• "Couldn't We Ride"
• "The First Time It Happens"
• Wedding sequence (Muppets Take Manhattan)
• "Ukelelee Lady"

(everyone applauds)

Walter: Kermit got his start on television before the rest of us. He first appeared on the local Washington, D.C. show Sam and Friends back in 1955, and then was the first Muppet to appear on national television in a guest appearance on The Tonight Show in 1956. By 1979, Kermit was so famous that he came back to The Tonight Show to guest host.
Kermit: I also returned to The Tonight Show before that....
Walter: Here's a clip from the night Kermit hosted The Tonight Show!

(shows clip from Kermit's opening monologue)

Walter: For over 21 years, Kermit also made frequent appearances on a little kids show called Sesame Street.
Rowlf: In fact Kermit even came up with the shows title.

Clips:

• Kermit suggests "Sesame Street" as the shows title (Sesame Street Pitch Reel)
• Kermit and Joey sing the alphabet
• The Count interrupts Kermit's interview with the Three Little Pigs
• Grover gives Kermit ears
• Kermit and Elmo: Happy and Sad
• "My Pollywog Ways"

Kermit: Of course, we can't showcase me without showcasing a special song I did.
Walter: That's right.
Gonzo: And here it is.
Robin: One of Uncle Kermit's favorite songs.
Dr. Teeth: His first big hit.
Animal: PLAY-IT! PLAY-IT!

(cut to a montage of versions of "Bein' Green", including all Sesame Street versions with Kermit, both versions from The Muppet Show, and Kermit's renditions from The Tonight Show, Today, Cher Show, and the appearance where he sang it with Cee Lo Green).

Walter: When we get back, we've got more to show.
Scooter: Including special guest stars we've worked with.
Gonzo: And a sneak peek at the Muppets new TV series.
Statler: That does it. I'm leaving.
Waldorf: Me, too.

 

[minor muppetz]

(the camera pans around the area, as various characters chat)

Beaker: Mee mee mee mee mee.
Bunsen: That's right, Beaker, we have invented a device that can make the next 60 years pass by us faster.

Animal: HUN-GRY! HUN-GRY!
Floyd: Calm down, Animal!
Zoot: Yeah!
Floyd: You don't need fourths!
Rizzo: Well, I'm on my twenty-sevenths.

Pepe: Hey, how come I'm not in more of this special, okay? Why so much focus on Kermin?

Lew Zealand: Hey, when we going to show the montage of my boomerang fish? (throws fish)

Walter: Well, one thing that the Muppets are known f...
(a boomerang fish hits Walter)
Lew: That's mine, Mr. Walter. (takes fish)
Walter: (unamused) Anyway, one thing that the Muppets are known for is their guest stars.
Scooter: We've had many guest stars on our shows.
Bobo: We've also appeared with many celebrities outside of our shows.
Gonzo: And we've appeared with celebrities on their shows.
Link: And we've had celebrities on our own shows.
Miss Piggy: We are also celebrities in our own rights.
Bobo: That's right.
Miss Piggy: But no celebrity is bigger than Moi.
Link: You've got that right, fatso!
(everyone laughs, Piggy karate-chops Link)

Clips:

• Scooter tells Milton Berle "fifteen seconds 'til curtain"
• Pops greets Tony Randall
• "Real Live Girl" with Mia Farrow
• Kermit flirts with Cher
• Whoopi Goldberg, Selena Gomez, and some other star volunteer to help with the Muppets telethon
• Jay Leno hints to Bobo that he wants to be a guest star
• "My Dinner with Codzilla" (with Louie Anderson)
• Kermit and Rita Moreno discuss cue cards
• "Grandma's Feather Bed" (with John Denver)
• Bobo dances with Cindy Crawford
• "When Harry Met Sally" screen test (with Billy Crystal)
• Miss Piggy introduces guests John Ritter and George Hamilton
• Jean Stapleton informs Sam that The Swedish Chef doesn't speak real Swedish
• Beaker does his Little Richard impression
• "Gone with the Wind" (with Dudley Moore)
• Sandra Bullock sings "Phenomena"
• "Jump for My Love" (with Smokey Robinson)
• Kermit pretends that he's Flip Wilson turned into a frog
• Avery Scrieber and Fozzie do the painting routine
• "You've Got to Have Friends" (with Candice Bergen)
• "Whenever I Call You Friend" (with Melissa Manchester)

Sam the Eagle: The Muppets are know for their weirdness. Don't we have some cultural clips to show?
Walter: Well, we can try.
Sam: And try we must!

Clips:

• "Cottleson Pie"
• "Halfway Down the Stairs"
• "Just One Person" (The Muppet Show)
• "Together at Christmas" (A Muppet Family Christmas)
• "Bless Us All"
• "Man or Muppet"
• "Moonlight Sinata"
• Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Disappearing Clues
• "Pure Imagination" music video

(everyone applauds)
Sam: Well, I guess some of that was cultural.
Walter: Anyway, I'd like to point out that the Muppets have a new TV show coming to ABC this Fall. I am so excited.
Gonzo: So am I! I'll get to do things I didn't do on The Muppet Show!
Rowlf: Maybe I'll finally get my own episode.
Rizzo: Maybe I'll get a bigger paycheck.
Pepe: Maybe I'll get 70%, okay!
Walter: And now, here is a sneak peek of the new show!

(clip from the meeting scene as shown in the trailers)

(everyone applauds)

Kermit: But really, we can't do a proper Muppet anniversary party without honoring the one and only Jim Henson.
Walter: Who?
Kermit: You're the biggest Muppet fan ever, Walter, you should know who Jim Henson is.
Walter: (nervous) Uh, I actually don't.
Kermit: Well, don't worry, I have a film strip to play to show the significance of Jim Henson. (hits play button)

Kermit: (providing voice-over narration) Jim Henson was born James Maury Henson on September 24, 1936. After watching television for the first time, he decided he wanted to work in television, no matter what. In 1954, he answered an ad to be a puppeteer on a local Washington, D.C. show called The Junior Morning Show. That show got canceled after three weeks, but a year later, he created a new show called Sam and Friends. I first met him there, and he was always willing to lend he a hand. After the show ended, Jim asked me to do other things he was working on, including television commercials, television guest appearances, and even Sesame Street. When Jim Henson decided to give us Muppets our own TV series, he chose me to be the host. And that led to movies, specials, more shows, home videos, albums, and web videos. Sadly, Jim Henson died on May 16, 1990, but he's still in our memory. We all miss him.

(projector stops, everyone cries)

Kermit: When we get back, we'll end the special.

(after commercial break)

Fozzie: Well, it's been a fun party.
Statler: Even we liked it.
Fozzie: Really? Did you like my material?
Waldorf: No.
Scooter: Well what part did you like best. The guest stars?
Statler and Waldorf: Nope.
Sam: The cultural moments!
Statler and Waldorf: Nope.
Bunsen: Did you like the sneak peek at the new show?
Walter: That must be it!
Statler: Not in a million years.
Waldorf: Well you were born a million years ago.
(Waldorf chuckles while Statler is not amused)
Walter: Then what was your favorite part?
Statler and Waldorf: The commercials!
Walter: Well, I like commercials, too, especially these commercials...

Clips:

• Klaussens Bread ("who kneads it?")
• Purina Dog Chow ("if ordinary dog food makes your dog flat, try Purina Dog Chow!")
• Polaroid
• Croonchy Stars
• Long John Silver's
• Frito Lays (Miss Piggy at the pool)
• Lipton Tea (city of Animal's)
• Pizza Hut (the first one)
• Toyota

Walter: Well, it's been a great party. Thank you all for com...
Bean Bunny: Wait! You forgot to show the cutest Muppet moments!
Walter: Uh, no we didn't.
Big Mean Carl: You look cute!
Bean: Oh, I know.
(Carl eats Bean)
Big Mean Carl: Tastes cute, too!
Walter: Well, thank you all for coming!
Bean: (heard from inside stomach) This is not cute.

 

[minor muppetz]

I said I'd do it in a later post, and now it's a later post, so here is a list of what clips appear in the opening montage:

• Clips of groups of people entering a stage - the Muppets for "Look at Me" in The Muppets Take Manhattan, chorus lines of females and males in the first season Muppet Show opening, the shot of males and females from the fourth season opening, chorus lines of females and males from the Loretta Lynn episode opening, and the Muppets entering the stage for "Another Opening, Another Show"
• A pot falling on Miss Piggy's head from her informercial (Muppets Tonight with Michelle Pheiffer)
• Rita Moreno hitting Animal with cymbols
• Link Hogthrob's nose getting stuck in the doors (TMS with Milton Berle)
• The Muppets on stage with Weezer
• The Muppets performing OK Go as puppets
• A section on Miss Piggy karate chopping others - Kermit in the Andy Williams episode, Kermit in the John Denver episode, Kermit in The Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit in the Kokomo episode, Kermit and Gonzo in the Mummenshaz episode, Gonzo in the Madeline Kahn episode, Piggy and Michelle Pfeiffer hitting Clifford on Muppets Tonight, a pirate in Muppet Treasure Island, Fozzie in the Kaye Ballard opening, and a pole in The Muppets at Walt Disney World
• Carol Burnett shaking Kermit
• Raquel Welch hitting the spider with her club
• James Coburn grabbing Gonzo by his nose
• Martin Price holding Gonzo by his nose
• A montage of group/big crowd shots - the end of the TMS opening (seasons 2-5), Kermit telling a crowd of Muppets they're more important than a theater or name (The Muppets), that shot of Muppets on the train when Walter gets their attention (Muppets Most Wanted), that 360 pan-around at the end of the cleaning sequence (The Muppets), the end of the "Hey a Movie" number (The Muppets Go to the Movies), the end of the "Brick House" sequence (MFS), the Rainbow Connection finale (TMM), and the Muppets cheering at the screening room (TMM)
• A montage of Muppets eating other Muppets - Behemoth eating Shakey Shanchez, Big Mean Carl eating a bunny on Swift Wits, Carl eating bunnies in "Stand By Me", Doglion eating Luncheon Counter Monster, and The Newsman being eaten by his desk
• Animal biting Rita Moreno on the shoulder
• Animal eating drums
• Animal eating a seat cushion
• Sweetums eating Candice Bergen's camera
• Rudolph Nureyev dancing in Swine Lake
• Gonzo and Animal on hangers
• Clifford's introduction being interrupted by an Extreme
• Rowlf as Merlin
• Crazy Harry shooting Gonzo with a cannon
• Beaker gets shot out of a cannon (MTI)
• The Flying Zuccinni Brothers fall when Beauregard takes their bucket (TMS with Danny Kaye)
• Lips and Trumpet Girl playing their solos (TMS season five opening)
• Fozzie unscroonching Kermit (Cleo Lane episode)
• Elderly Muppets laughing (A Celebration of 30 Years)
• Section of explosion clips - Crazy Harry blows up a wall (Valentine Show), Crazy Harry blows up the seven deadley sins (Sex and Violence), Crazy Harry blows up Animal (TMS with Rich Little), Fozzie finds out that a bomb fuse is lit (Muppet Moments), Luncheoun Counter Monster getting blown up (TMS with George Burns), Bunsen getting blown up with exploding clothes (TMS with Phyllis Diller), Sweetums getting blown up (GMC), The Swedish Chef blowing up Jacques Roach (JHH with Smokey Robinson), and Gonzo getting blown up after trying to defuse a bomb (TMS with Dudley Moore)
• Beauregard driving his taxi into the Happiness Hotel
• The Electric Mayhem performing with Dudley Moore
• The Electric Mayhem as river dancers (It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie)
• Sal making Kermit's stiff neck better
• A shot from "When I'm with You" (The Muppets' Wizard of Oz)
• Muppets in their lockers
• Walter meeting one of the "Nine Old Men" (Disney Drive-On)
• The Swedish Chef being attacked by spaghetti
• Kermit falling backwards into well (Hey Cinderella)
• Bean as "Beanbo"
• A shot of Bean and the dog (Tale of the Bunny Picnic)
• The last shot of "Sweet Vacation"

And the clips from movies that get intercut with the song "We're Doing a Sequel":

• Gonzo's water skiing act (MTM)
• Miss Piggy on rollerskates (MTM)
• Miss Piggy on a motorcycle (GMC)
• Gonzo and the Cosmic Fish (MFS)
• "Light the lamp, not the rat!" (MCC)
• Constantine giving Piggy a "thingy thing" (MMW)
• "Forget You" (The Muppets)
• The Muppets being crushed by the murphy bed (GMC)
• Dr. Phil van Neuter popping towards the window glass (MFS)
• The Electric Mayhem at a polka club (MTM)
• Sweetums in the bath tub (MFS)
• Miss Piggy and Pepe practice (The Muppets)