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Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Beauregard, Aug 26, 2006.
*Half expects some updates soon (because he's half of Lisa) (Duh)*
Nag-nag-nag... Nag-nag-nag... Nag-nag-nag...
Hey Bo, I think this story's flooded. Better turn in your keys and post more story before it clunks out.
<Now expecting updates VERY soon>
Sorry guys...Real-life stuff overtook me, but this idea is still seething and bubbling in my head so, it will be finished. just don't hold your collective brethes between updates...or you'll pass out and stuff and...gross..
<hooks up oxygen tank>
I have difficulty not holding my breath between updates, you know.
*Refueling oxygen tanks... Especially when you've still got Visions 2 to get to as well as this quaint little storyline.
<Nods> <orders more oxygen tanks> These things come in handy while readingupdates too sometimes... Er, not that I have any such things planned, of course... <shifty eyes>
So long as you post more Flippersteps... That, and read or rave or review MFG... Then I won't cut off your tap.
...You do realize, of course, that by cutting off MY tap, you would also be cutting off half of Prawnie's? Hardly seems fair to him.
Ordinarily yes... But I separated your tanks by the same means doctors carefully segment conjoined twins when prying them apart from each other. Besides, I have my ways of reviving the lot of you, if I can get some assistance from my roomie and one of Prawny's too.
Now go and read and rave and review, the story's finished but I still want to hear from you, o Fanfiction Queen.
Could there perchance be an update in the works?
Noone rully knows... Just keep nagging the janitor in that closet.
What is he doing in the closet again?
Dunno... Think he lives there when he gets locked out of MC, or locked in by us to make sure he doesn't get out and keeps writing.
Remember that? Like I said, I am not going to finish this story quickly, becuase I am working on 3 big real life writing projects besides my two Muppet fanfics, I also have 30 real-life non-mup stories running rampant in my head right now...so, it WILL be finished one day, but not right away.
<meekly> Sorry, I was just wondering. Didn't want this to get lost on the bottom of things...
Oh, no, that's fine. I like nagging. I wasn't annoyed, I was just saying. Sorry, it probably came across with the wrong tone.
I probably shouldn't have posted the begining and got people wanting more, actually. I should wait until I have stuff finished before posting or I never get it all posted for another year or so
Hey Bo... Sorry if it seems like we give you a hard time about posting updates... And we can understand that a great story takes time to finish. Guess we're just saying we'd like to have at least a new chapter soonish to see if this is still going on. Hope that's OK buddy.
*Opens closet door and leaves bowl of custodian surprise, before closing closet door.
No you need nagging my friend. You do have issues finishing posting...*coughing fit is heard with a the word Vegas heard in the middle* I wanna know more. C'mon now a break from real life.
Ok, my dears, here's an update! And Christy, Vegas vs Las Muppets is finished if that's what you are muttering about?
Chapter 3: Splash
The eyes were white and round with Saturn moon pupils. Lanky green arms folded over the frog's chest. "Why do you do this?" Kermit asked.
Sam stared back at him. "Somebody has to."
They were offstage and so far the show had been going relatively well…considering most of the Muppet's relatives were insane, in prison, or generally frowned upon by any sane speaking man, or eagle, or whatever, or…well…anything really.
By "this" Sam supposed that Kermit meant his attempts to turn the Muppet Show into something with less madness and frivolity and more moral and family values.
"Yeah," Kermit said without agreeing. "But, don't you have a home or a family?"
"Oh, yes, I am married," Sam said, and stopped. He was married, with an italicised was. When it came to italicised audio, Sam wrote the book, or rather, recorded the audio book…actually, he didn't, but the fact was, he was good at placing emphasis where emphasis belonged. And in the sentence, "I am married" there should have been a "…was…" not an "am" and it should have been italicised. He couldn't believe he just let that slip.
"Really?" Kermit exclaimed. "You have a home?"
Sam back-pedalled, fast. "Well, uh, my wife and I are separated." That was all he wanted to say on the subject, thank you Mr The Frog.
Sam frowned. Mr The Frog wanted more. "She, uh, flew the coop." Frivolity, he supposed, had it's place in distracting attention from such unwonted subjects.
"Do you have any kids?"
Leave it Kermit, please. "We were close though," Sam said at a loss for an answer. "Very close." The heat of humiliation was rising within his face.
"Yeah, well, what's her name?"
Sam's pupils shifted. "I forgot," he said.
"Oh, yeah." Kermit looked away and for a moment, Sam was sure that the frog had gotten a bit of grit or something in his bulgy eyes because there was something like a flash of pain there. Or maybe it was a reflection of Sam's own eyes and thoughts. "So, do you…have any kids?" Kermit asked again.
Sam rolled his eyes. Was the frog to be unending in his interrogation? What next, was Sam to be chained to a wall and stretched tall enough to compete in the NBA? "Yes, I have two wonderful kids." That should stop him.
"Who never write to me."
Kermit looked at him as though he could see straight through the charade.
"They're in college now," Sam said.
"Boys or girls?"
"Yes." Wait, that wouldn't do...Sam shook his head. "One boy. One girl."
He hated lying. Lying was for wimps. He wasn't a wimp. He didn't have kids.
A long low whistle brought him out of his slumber, and he shut away memories of that conversation from years ago.
Sam opened one eye and swiveled it left and right then shut it again and groaned. It was far too early, even for a full blue blooded American...that is, a full blooded American who happened to be blue. He got up and stretched his wings as he examined his guest quarters on the ship.
They'd arrived late last night and he'd gone swiftly to bed without a chance to scout his surroundings. The room was cramped, but adequate for his needs. There was a bed, a washbasin, and a dark red plush corner seat. His window was round and through it a ray of sunshine peeked merrily.
Sam was not feeling merry.
In fact, he was feeling un-merry. He hadn't felt this un-merry since the time a two-headed monster played Santa Clause in a Christmas Pageant put on by that usually upstanding younger cousin-show of the Muppets, Sesame Street.
The whistle sounded again. "Role call!" someone bellowed from somewhere.
Sam brushed a few feathers into place and rolled towards the call.
The first mate was entirely unlike a first mate. Even by Muppet standards he was strange. Hulking blood-shot eyes, a scar, an earring, two chipped teeth and a large spot decorated the ugly green face, and a dropping red nose suggested an unhealthy alcohol intake. Weird tufts of hair, like rope, poked from here and there and everywhere. Sam was so embarrassed he didn't know where to look.
Angel Marie, the hideous beast was called, and he'd been hired for his tough approach to shipping business and years of hands-on experience. Sam wondered, though, what exactly that strange man's hands had experienced being on.
Still, the ship was nice. It gleamed where it should gleam, and sparkled where it should sparkle. It shined where it should shine and flapped where it should flap. Plus, it stayed afloat.
They had christened the ship "Hispania" with a bottle of Champaign Rizzo had gotten in cheap from a cousin of his.
"Fozzie the Bear," Angel Marie called, reading from a role-call list.
Sam heard someone whisper, "Good grief the comedian's a bear," and wondered what that was all about.
"Rowlf the Dog," Angel Marie barked.
"Kermit the Frog."
"Miss the Piggy."
"Over here, buster. And can we talk about cabin's please? Because moi's little locale is less than superfluous. I need more cushions, more draperies, and can we get it moved closer to the frog's pad?"
Angle Marie growled. "Bunsen the Beaker."
"Right here and positively bubbling. And the 'the' is 'and' and not 'the' in Bunsen and Beaker, not Bunsen the Beaker."
"Mand mee meh," Beaker agreed.
"Sam the American Eagle."
Sam glowed. "Here."
Angel Marie sneered. "So you think you're first mate material, bird?"
Sam opened and close his gob. "I beg your pardon?"
Angel Marie leapt down from the platform beside the helm and strode towards the fluttery feathered fowl. "You think you can do me? First mates are more than parrots," he said. "Repeating everything the captain says. You know that do you?"
Kermit decided it would be best to intervene. "Er, excuse me? If you don't mind my saying so, can we just…"
Angel Marie snapped him a glare that would freeze even the coldest-blood of an amphibian to ice. "I'm not happy with your crew choice," he said. "And the captain will be furious."
Kermit gulped. "Yes, about the captain…he's more of a boat driver, you see. We only need to get to the middle of the ocean, then to the island location and…"
Angel Marie marched back to his original position. "Is everyone here? If you're not here, put your hand up."
No one did. He rolled up the role-call.
"Alright, let's take her out."
They had moved the boat out of dock and sailed into the sea for an hour before turning back and re-mooring. It was just a test run, but Kermit wanted to know if anyone would get sea-sick or die by falling overboard before the filming began. As it was, the test run was perfect. Seagulls shouted over head. The sunshine beat the sea. And wind in the sails pulled and pushed with artistic grace.
The script still needed a lot of work, everyone still had lines to learn, costumes to fill, and props to make. Extras had to be cast, and jokes had to be added, or more often, deleted from the original script. There was much to be completed before filming next month.
As they were getting off the boat, Sam approached the frog. "Kermit, may I talk to you for a moment?" He placed a wing on Kermit's arm and steered him into a more secluded area of the dock. "I am not happy with the way this movie has been cast."
Kermit scrunched up his face. "I'll add you to the list of people wanting Muppets instead of humans for the main characters."
"No, it is not that. I just…I am not made of first mate stuff. I cannot run a ship, I can't even run my own affairs let alone anyone else's."
"Sam," Kermit said. "It's just acting. You'll be fine." He patted Sam on the back and disappeared.
Sam watched him go and muttered after him.
To be continued...
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