Peter Ustinov - Episode 12
Dates: July 20-22, 1976
GENERIC INTRO: SWEDISH CHEF'S LANGUAGE
Brian Henson: "Hi, I'm Brian Henson. The Muppets have always gotten a lot of fan mail. Over the years, we've received thousands of letters and believe it or not, we do try to read and answer every one of them."
"The staff received a memorable letter from a Scandinavian businessman who saw the show while on a trip to London. He wrote to inform my father that The Muppet Show's so called Swedish Chef did not actually speak any real Scandinavian language, not even Swedish. The Muppet Show head writer Jerry Juhl sent a reply, saying "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We were going to fire the Chef on the spot, but he has got a wife and family and he promises to take Swedish lessons." So here's the Swedish Chef and all of your other favorite Muppets on The Muppet Show."
Fozzie's joke: "Hey, the little things in life drive me crazy - like what do you send to a sick florist?"
Gonzo's mallet: Tries to hit the "O" but his mallet gets stuck in the "S".
is excited to have Peter Ustinov as a guest as well as an offshoot
of the Boston Pops Orchestra (just the wind section).
A conductor points to a group of balloons as they musically pop (Inspired by Gonzo's attempted act last week?) At the end, the conductor turns around revealing his head as a balloon which pops.
conductor is a faithful reconstruction of the balloon puppet from
At the Dance in the Harvey Korman
sighs that her heart is going pitter-patter. (Kermit: "Maybe
you've had too much coffee.") When Piggy mentions she's thrilled
at being so close to the man she's loved and admired for years,
Kermit explains he's unavailable prompting Piggy to clarify she's
referring to Peter!
brings out Peter who's still getting used to performing among
colleagues who aren't people; his chair walked away from under
him. Kermit explains that was a Muppet as well as the wife of
the show's writer...the Hatrack! Kermit prepares Peter for the
next sketch in which the guest now gets to be a Muppet.
Bunsen Honeydew presents his breakthrough in international statesmanship,
the robot politician (Peter). Demonstrating how the international
machine will end corruption in government forever, Bunsen flicks
the switch allowing Peter the opportunity to portray a British
Prime Minister, American President, and Russian Premier. The machine
starts to smoke as Peter launches into a rage of different languages,
arms flailing wildly until he explodes.
Fozzie looks for the Tower of Talent, Peter Ustinov, saying appearing in a sketch with him is the highlight of his career...which he said about Kermit last week.
AT THE DANCE
in his "never ending struggle to uplift these proceedings"
introduces a discussion on post-Victorian economics by Professors
Arnold Nood and Frederick Nik.
Prof. Nood (Peter) tells the story of Benny with Prof. Nik (Fozzie) egging him on. When Benny shaves his beard after a warning not to from his fairy godmother who angrily turns him into a Grecian urn, the theory is proved that "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."
UK SKIT: MUSICAL NUMBER - "ANOTHER SOMEBODY DONE SOMEBODY WRONG SONG"
Piggy gets to perform the song Kermit promised Lena
Horne last week that he'd let her do! Backed by Rowlf on piano
and backed by Fozzie and a Muppet Chorus, Piggy gives an overly
emotional reading to the song!
gushes that Peter took the time to notice her hemstitch. When
Kermit tries to compliment the costume mistress, she brushes him
vampiresque villain turns a singer into such creatures as a bird,
cat, fish, and potted plant.
Newsman interviews Dr. Felix Oglebomb (Peter) about his (nearly)
infallible cure for the common cold.
announces it's inspiration time ("and goodness KNOWS we need
duo sing "The Falling Leaves". You can guess what happens.
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Cynthia Birdley, and Dr. Kent Von Frong (Peter)
discuss psychiatry. Cynthia misunderstands nearly everything said
prompting Peter to explain various trade jargon to better understand
the various terms as "complex. Sublimation. Regression! Gestalt!"
(Cynthia and Piggy: "Gesundheit!") The practicing doctor
(Cynthia: "Isn't it time you stopped practicing and got on
with it?") closes with a demonstration of the Janus Theory
of Primal Scream Therapy.
searches for his contact lens.
announces he wants to be just like Peter; something he said about
Kermit last week. ("I was wrong.") When Scooter asks,
"Would you like to grow up and be an international star or
would you like to grow up to be a frog?", a worn Kermit walks
onstage and sings...
Walking onto a set depicting a green grassy field, Kermit pours his heart out in his famous song. [This version of the song closes the original Muppet Show soundtrack and is featured on The Muppet Show: Music, Mayhem and More. Kermit will also sing this version in next season's Peter Sellers episode...something about guests named Peter that do this to him.]
comes out to say his good-byes with the hatrack, complimenting
him of being a writer of many talents ("wears more than one
hat"). He then cheers Kermit up by announcing he's been jealous
of Kermit since he's always wanted to be a frog.