Avery Schreiber - Episode 16
Dates: Week of September 28, 1976
GENERIC INTRO: MISS PIGGY
Brian Henson: "Hi, I'm Brian Henson. The success of The Muppet Show was a surprise to us all, but perhaps the biggest surprise was the emergence of Miss Piggy. Different puppeteers picked her up and tried to perform her and she never amounted to much. And it wasn't until Frank Oz picked her up and he gave her that character and that life that made Miss Piggy what she is today. What he did was he created a mega-superstar. And now here's The Muppet Show starring as she would tell you of course, the fabulous Miss Piggy."
Fozzie's joke: "Hey, did you know that George the Janitor is so cheap that his wallet has an unlisted pocket? Am I too hip for the room?"
Gonzo's gong: Beautiful Day Monster pops up in front of the gong and gets struck by Gonzo.
[Fozzie's introductory joke from the episode was used on the only audio version of the first season theme as released in 1977 on the Muppet Show soundtrack album and in 1986 on Muppet Favorites. His dialogue was cut from The Muppet Show: Music, Mayhem and More CD.]
Kermit brings on Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem.
OPENING NUMBER - TENDERLY
Dr. Teeth addresses the audience and explains that their band tries to be more versatile that their hard rock image so tonight's number will be for some of the moms and pops. The band then launches into a rather raucous rendition of "Tenderly"! [The song appears on the original Muppet Show soundtrack and The Muppet Show: Music, Mayhem and More.]
Miss Piggy enlists Scooter's help in her latest scheme to get Kermit to return his love; jealousy.
SKETCH - MONSTER OF THE MOORS
Kermit - in his trench coat reporter garb best known from his Sesame Street appearances - reports on the duel between gladiator Sir Avery of Macho (Schreiber) and The Monster of the Moors (Sweetums). Avery gets to choose the weaponry and casting off his armor decides upon insults. Kermit notes that while Avery is known for his razor-sharp wit, he's still up against one of the foulest mouths in the kingdom! The two hurl insults at each other and react as if they've been hit with a physical weapon.
Bunsen unveils his gorilla detector which will sound when a gorilla threatens to invade one's tranquility. As Honeydew touts his latest machine, lo and behold a gorilla starts ripping through the lab. Bunsen notes that due to the lack of response from the alarm that he is SCIENTIFICALLY not being attacked by a gorilla. [The gorilla detector would later make an appearance as an accessory with Palisades' Muppet Labs playset.]
Scooter tells Kermit that he can't disturb Avery since he wishes to be with Miss Piggy uninterrupted. Kermit seems more disgusted at the thought than jealous.
Backed by jaunty music and with no dialogue, Avery plays the security guard and a museum who sits down for a snack.
The picture of Fozzie he sits in front off turns out to be more of a window that Fozzie unfreezes when Avery isn't looking and snatches (and poses with) his food.
AT THE DANCE
Animal finds a dancing partner who likes to boogie (and slam dance) as much as he does.
UK SPOT - MUSICAL NUMBER - "MAY YOU ALWAYS"
Rowlf, Baskerville, Muppy, and Catgut (from 1972's "Muppet Musicians of Bremen") emotionally serenade a photo of Lassie propped up on Rowlf's piano.
Miss Piggy interrupts the proceedings to gaze lovingly at Avery and allows him to call her by real name, Pigathius (from the Greek meaning "River of Passion").
Kermit insists that Piggy's HIS girl and makes a dinner date on the spot!
Piggy and Avery rejoice that the plan worked although Avery won't give Piggy a celebratory kiss due to a family tradition of not touching pork.
Sam brings on the awe-inspiring Wayne and Wanda ("Every time I hear them sing, I go 'Awww'") and murmurs to them to get it right as he exits!
WAYNE AND WANDA - SOME ENCHANTED EVENING
Wayne is quickly consumed by Gorgon Heap.
The cast breaks out the chicken jokes in honor of their latest patient.
Kermit admits to Piggy that Scooter told him their performance was all a trick.
Kermit introduces the king of the one-liners, sharp retorts, and funny ears.
FOZZIE'S COMEDY SPOT
Avery jumps to Fozzie's defense when Statler and Waldorf start in on him. Avery confides he knows what it's like to be heckled - by his partner! Fozzie can't believe it when Schreiber confides that his partner thought that routines like a banana-in-the-ear would look dumb so Fozzie tries it. (AVERY: "It DOES look dumb") To be fair, Avery does it too and gets a huge response.
The Newsman runs on to announce there is no news tonight. [This is a recycled bit from earlier in the season, perhaps the editors needed something to fill three seconds?]
Avery strums his guitar and sings some "alien scat" to an appreciative crowd of assorted beings.
Kermit and Avery comment on Piggy's behavior.