Fozzie's joke: Hey, did you know that if Tuesday Weld married Frederick March's grandson, she'd be Tuesday March the Second!

BACKSTAGE

Valerie Harper is greeted heartily by Kermit and less enthusiastically by George. After successfully sabotaging the planned opening number of Bertha Beasley and her Galloping Geese, she auditions her own song and dance number for an appreciative group of Muppets complete with costume changes, a follow spot (BACKSTAGE!) and impressions of Ethel Merman, Mae West, and Marilyn Monroe. Kermit, sold, hires her as a chorus girl.

BALCONY

SWEDISH CHEF

The Chef decorates a chocolate layer cake which starts talking in Japanese as he finishes. Armed with a translation book, the Chef finds the cake to be quite argumentative and smashes it with a baseball bat. [A wonderful recreation of the Japanese talking chocolate cake is included as an accessory in Palisades' Swedish Chef kitchen playset.]

BACKSTAGE

Statler enters the backstage area demanding to see Miss Harper hoping to win her over with some smooth lines ("Hiya toots, you're some kind of hot looking tomato") and an African Berry Bush, a plant that grows three feet an hour, more if it rains.

NEWSFLASH

Newsman interviews Mrs. Klinger (Harper) to explain her husband's astonishing transformation into a rug over a three month period.

CURTAIN

Kermit welcomes Rowlf's tour de force poetry with a big hand. (As if that joke hadn't been overkilled the week before!)

ROWLF'S POETRY CORNER

Rowlf delivers a stirring original poem entitled "The Butterfly". The ending, unfortunately, stirs a large butterfly the wrong way.

BALCONY

BACKSTAGE

A meeting of the balding old coots! George the Janitor meets Statler! Before Statler can stop him, the janitor waters the berry bush which immediately starts rapidly growing and eating everything in sight.

AT THE DANCE

The Screaming Girl dances with a different Whatnot puppet here than she does in the Ben Vereen episode, yet both are named Herman.

UK SKIT: MUSICAL NUMBER - "TIT WILLOW"

Rowlf convinces Sam the Eagle to play the bird - and the buffoon - in his Gilbert & Sullivan number, claiming that it's cultural light opera.

[This double entendre loaded number amazingly ended up on the original Muppet Show Soundtrack, Muppet Favorites, Muppet Hits Take 2, and the 1985 video Rowlf's Rhapsodies.]

MUSICAL NUMBER - "SEARCHIN'"

Floyd chases Mary Louise through a forest aided by two sleuth backing singers.

[This number could potentially be very disturbing if one stops to ponder how old Mary Louise is supposed to be.]

BALCONY

BACKSTAGE

The plant has grown into an overwhelming large tree stretching in all directions.

DRESSING ROOM

In need of a comb, Hilda introduces Valerie to their new makeup man, Bernie, a rabbit that hands her an egg.

BACKSTAGE

Kermit has to fight his way through the foliage wearing a pith helmet. Statler is no doubt secretly pleased to find Fozzie has to cancel his act after the plant eats his cue cards.

CURTAIN

Sam introduces Wayne & Wanda and pleads with them to "please - do it for me...or SOMEBODY!"

WAYNE & WANDA

The duo sing "On a Clear Day" and are overwhelmed by factory smoke.

NEWSFLASH

The Newsman rushes onstage only to discover he grabbed blank paper.

DRESSING ROOM

Valerie thanks Kermit for allowing her to do a big closing number. Kermit warns her that the chorus line she'll be performing with are known as the Clodhoppers.

CURTAIN

Kermit introduces Valerie Harper and The Clodhoppers.

MUSICAL NUMBER - "NOBODY DOES IT LIKE ME"

Valerie dances with the Clodhoppers, a group of five midsize fuzzy blue creatures that bear a striking resemblance to Grover from Sesame Street with red tennis shoes. Despite being called the Clodhoppers, it's Valerie who ends up stepping on toes on going in the wrong direction prompting her to sing her song. [Jim Henson had the initial idea for the Clodhoppers in the early '70's when he wanted to include the Muppets in a Broadway show.]

CURTAIN

Statler finally makes his way onstage to offer Valerie an invitation to a steak dinner and a smaller berry bush that was an offspring of the larger creature. Valerie politely declines the steak dinner claiming that she's a vegetarian but accepts the plant as a possible meal.

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY