Fozzie's joke: "I finally found a sure way to lose weight. I found a scale that lies!"

STAGE CURTAIN

Kermit announces he's happy for two reasons: Scooter's uncle extended the lease on the theater and the guest star tonight is Ruth Buzzi.

OPENING NUMBER: SUNNY

Performed by Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem, a hippy-ish rock group (first seen in Sex & Violence) comprising orchestra members Sgt. Floyd Pepper, bass; saxophonist Zoot; wild drummer Animal as well as lead guitarist Janice, and long-armed keyboardist Dr. Teeth.

Animal thinks the song is too slow so he keeps speeding up the tempo exhausting the rest of the band. [Like Fleetwood Mac, there is no designated frontman - depending on the song, the lead vocals are performed by either Dr. Teeth, Floyd, or Janice. Floyd is the unlucky singer of this number.]

BACKSTAGE

Scooter bumps into Kermit with a crate.

The crate contains a mechanical, wind-up TV show
host...a robotic Kermit with a huge wind-up crank on its backside!

AT THE DANCE

A dancer encourages Boppity to stand on his own two feet.

Actually he has four, but the other's at the cleaners!

BALCONY

DRESSING ROOM

Kermit checks himself in the mirror, but his reflection is the mechanical frog. [There is great interplay and expressions between the two Kermits.]

STAGE CURTAIN

Sam the Eagle brings out two of the few people on the show who are normal and trustworthy, Wayne & Wanda.

WAYNE & WANDA: "ROW ROW ROW"

The duo sings from a boat which sinks. At least, this time they actually made it to the chorus, a rare feat for the two! [Since we actually get a chance to hear them sing, we know why Sam has to circumvent Kermit to bring them on. Wanda sings dreadfully off-key and Wayne, while decidedly more vocally gifted, is incredibly pompous.]

NEWS FLASH

The Atlantic Ocean has been kidnapped!

STAGE CURTAIN

Kermit, suited up, introduces Ruth Buzzi.

SONG: "LET ME LOVE YOU"

Ruth, as a servant, attempts to serenade ogre Sweetums as he tries to eat. [Sweetums, originally seen in "The Frog Prince" is very much in keeping with his character from the special. The set is a replica of his dungeon.]

UK SKETCH: SONG: "I NEVER HARMED AN ONION"

Rowlf plays the piano and sings the classic pun laden song.

[A re-recorded version appears on Ol' Brown Ears Is Back. This sketch was also included on the 1993 video It's the Muppets: More Muppets, Please.]

TALK SPOT

Kermit suggests to Ruth that they chew the fat, which leads to a rambling rant from Ruth on eating healthy. Kermit, finally taking control back of the conversation, asks Ruth what she loves, to which she replies, "I love to eat!" Kermit admits she tickles him - and Ruth gladly obliges.

BALCONY

[PUPPETEER SPOTTING: Jim's head can be seen bopping up and down performing Waldorf.]

STAGE CURTAIN

Kermit introduces the bear with the fur and the funnies.

FOZZIE'S COMEDY SPOT

After repeated heckling from Statler & Waldorf...

Fozzie wonders who's doing the act. Even though the geezers point out they're getting all the laughs, Fozzie's the best straight man there is which prompts much applause for Fozzie.

SKETCH: THE INTERROGATION

Ruth plays a captured spy ordered to give information or her captors who "have waaays of making you taaaalk". Unfortunately, to their surprise and horror they can't shut her up!

After being snubbed by Kermit, Miss Piggy wishes she could have her love whisper sweet passion. She enters the dressing room and then runs into Robot Kermit, who turns out to be wound-too-tightly! The real Kermit attempts to apologize after the robot disgusts Piggy and ends up karate chopped.

[More classic Kermit faces as the robot goes out to leave the room and crashes into the door!]

TALKING HOUSES [debut]

STAGE CURTAIN

Sam makes sure the show is culturally uplifting as Ruth introduces the Gogolala Jubilee Jug-Band.

SONG: "YOU CAN'T ROLLER SKATE IN A BUFFALO HERD"

The Jug-Band performs a song not on Sam's list of favorites.

CONVERSATION PANEL [debut]

Kermit mentions "it's time to raise the intellectual level of the program as our panel discusses questions of lasting importance". The topic: "Is the Human Body Obsolete?" The panel: Kermit, Sam, Gloria Goodbody (Buzzi), Miss Piggy, and a male pig. Gloria believes the key is physical fitness.

As the pigs steam things up on one end of the table, Sam does calisthenics while Gloria demonstrates yoga. (Sam: "Isn't that that weird sour milk stuff?") Kermit announces the topic next week will be Crowd Control and Riot Suppression.

STAGE CURTAIN

Kermit thanks the guest, "Ruth Buzzi - Buth Fuzzi - Ruth Fuzzy..."

The real Kermit shoves the malfunctioning robot offstage and brings in the cast to tickle Ruth.

CLOSING THEME

Guide Written by
D. W. McKim and Phillip Chapman

With contributions from
Jogchem Jalink and Dave Ebersole