Dealing with depression and anxiety

robodog

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I wouldn't want to relive the bad experiences but at the same time I wouldn't want to change most of them them either. There are certain aspects of my personality that developed as a result of these experiences that I wouldn't want changed.
 

Pinkflower7783

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I just look at the bad experiences as a way of getting me to where I am today. And without them I might not have the great people in my life that I do have now.
 

BobThePizzaBoy

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OK... this is going to be a big one.

I'm typing this from a library computer right now. I think my mom has snapped. As most of you know, I've been stuck living at home as a college student for the past two years and I despise it. I am on a leash being dragged around by my mother and she won't let up. I got my lifeguarding certification over the summer, got a job at a local pool, had a blast (and not just because one of the girls I worked with was cute), but it obviously only lasted three months then it was all over. The pool closed just over two months ago and I've been trying to find work with little avail, mostly so I can pay to buy a new car. I already made $450 a month taking care of a relative with developmental disabilities, but admittedly that money works for me but only gets a person so far. I've obviously already told my story about applying at a hotel pool that was looking more for full-time employees despite what their want ad in the paper said and I won't retell it again. What frustrates me more is not so much that my parents are bugging me to get a job, it's that she is so obsessed with it. She's been spending all of today while she's re-painting the kitchen (and it's apparently my fault she chose today to do it :rolleyes:) and every time I walk past her she just throws insults at me, I finally had enough and drove to the library to do some online job applications (Best Buy, a few local movie theaters, the local YMCA, etc.). The thing is that right now I am a full-time student, I was going to go part-time this semester but since some courses I needed required multiple says a week, I had no choice but to go full-time student. Not to mention we're in the home stretch of the semester, I'm finishing up in a few weeks, I have final projects to do, work that has to be done. Looking for a job isn't that high up on my priorities at this particular moment. Not to mention now she's bugging the heck out of me to take winter courses, but there are no winter courses my school offers I need to take. I need to sell her on the idea of taking math courses online (I mean, heck, I already took one, passed it and am just waiting for the school that hosts the classes to transfer my credits) but god knows she'll just think it's some kind of scam or something. My birthday is the Sunday after this coming Sunday and I'm not even looking forward to it because she's already trying to ruin that by making me spend most of the day being her servant at some event I don't want to go to that day. And then the other night, she's trying to talk me into dropping out of school after this year because she thought I'd be able to get something good out of having a two-year degree. I am honestly ready to scream because I can't stand this anymore, thoughts of the "s" word are trying to peek into my thoughts but I don't want to go because I feel like there is more to live for, but I can't stand this! I know that when the pool I worked at over the summer sends the applications for next season out (if they like you enough, you get invited back. The pool director already told me at the end of the summer I'm guaranteed a job, and surely a raise, if I come back.), they ask to e-mail the directors about if you can do pre-season maintenance work setting up the pool. You can bet the day I get that contract/application I'm going to send him an e-mail with my hours to do pre-season work. I have no clue when that comes out, maybe January because last year's letter said "I hope you all had an enjoyable holiday season..." and "summer's closer than you think" but it's just a wait-and-see deal now. But for now I'm stuck in a rut and on a leash from my parents I can NOT STAND IT ANYMORE! :mad:
 

charlietheowl

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I'm so sorry that your mother isn't being more understanding of your needs to focus on your academics instead of looking for a job that you don't have the time for. You seem to have a good grip on your classes and getting your degree, which is good. Is there a family member or friend nearby you can spend the night at to get a little space between you and your parents for the evening?

I'm sorry I can't think of anything to say here, just that we're all here to help you out if you need it.
 

BobThePizzaBoy

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I'm so sorry that your mother isn't being more understanding of your needs to focus on your academics instead of looking for a job that you don't have the time for. You seem to have a good grip on your classes and getting your degree, which is good. Is there a family member or friend nearby you can spend the night at to get a little space between you and your parents for the evening?

I'm sorry I can't think of anything to say here, just that we're all here to help you out if you need it.
I just got home. She was very apologetic, though bugging me to go back to that hotel despite that I keep saying over and over it's not a good job for me, but she still made it clear I should get out there and job hunt but she at least wasn't insane like she was before. I'm still being careful though...
 

Pinkflower7783

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That's how my dad was when I lost my job where I was at. And also my husband when he was only getting part-time work at Sears. Despite we tried telling him that sometimes that some places only took online applications or that the work just wasn't out there. But told him we were trying but he kept saying we weren't trying hard enough. My dad is a told timer and no matter how we told him that job hunting isn't like how it was when he was looking for a job he just refused to listen. Till I finally said "well what do you want us to do go in with a gun and say if you don't hire us we'll blow your brains out?" Of course that just made him more mad. -_- *sighs*

He's much better now but omg he was the reason I almost just completely lost it in terms of having any nerves yet. And my husband was just getting more and more discouraged. He's much better now that he has a full-time job. But sometimes despite I haven't lived at him for three years still feels the need to control my life. -_- Don't get me wrong and I love him and know that's why he nagged the way he did but sometimes parents just don't know when to lay off and just trust that their kids know what their doing.

Hope things get better for you Bob.
 

BobThePizzaBoy

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Hope things get better for you Bob.
I'm hoping, this'll be the second year in a row she's ruined my birthday. All so she can boss me around and tell me how to live my life. Is it selfish that I want the one day of the year that should be about me to be about me?
 

BobThePizzaBoy

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... And she just randomly asked me if I went job-searching today. ... She does realizes I have school all day, right? :rolleyes: I don't know why she thinks getting a part-time job is more important than getting an education.
 
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