Alphabet Chat Fan Fiction

mikealan

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Alphabet Chat Fan-Fiction

(The scene is the house set in the Alphabet Chat Studios. Lord Chatterly is ready for his new episode of "Alphabet Chat".)

Director AM: Are we ready?

Lord Chatterly: Yes sir!

Director AM: O.K. Alphabet Chat:The Letter D Take 179! Lights! (Lights turn off.) Camera! (To the cameraman) Please focus on the fireplace scene! (The cameraman focuses on the fireplace.) Good job! O.K.! And music!

(Alphabet Chat Theme Song plays, Lord Chatterly moves his chair toward us. The theme song ends.)

Lord Chatterly: Hello everyone. I'm Lord Chatterly and welcome to another exciting episode of 'Alphabet Chat'. Today I'd like to tell you all about the letter 'D'. (the white letter 'D' appears on screen.) Oh yes. The letter 'D'. 'D' is a very delightful letter, because it is the first letter in so many nice animals like dog, donkey, deer, dolphin, duck, dove bird, dinosaur, dragon, dalmation, and dashschund...(some of the AM's appear to prepare for the dance party, to the AM's) um, what are you doing here?

AM Boy: Oh, We're preparing for a surprise that starts with this letter 'D'..

Lord Chatterly: Well, what is it?

AM Boy: You'll see...(continues preparing for the dance party.)

Lord Chatterly: Now, where was I before? Oh yes! The letter 'D' (a white 'D' appears on screen again.) is also the first letter in people that have jobs like doctor, dentist, dancer, druggist, detective, ditch-digger, determologist, dad, and, er, (Lefty the Salesman holding a cigarette and a live dog) drug dealer??!??

Lefty the Salesman: Yes, I'M the drug dealer! Hey! You want to buy a cigarette, which that one is a drug or would you want to buy a doggie that was lost in the street...

Lord Chatterly: But this is a television show! You can't sell things to us on television!

Lefty the Salesman: Oh yeah? Well, I want you to buy DOUBLE items which are a cigarette and a live doggie!

Lord Chatterly: (Yelling) Will you get out of here!!

Lefty the Salesman: Well, I don't appreciate the way you said to me! I'm very disappointed! (Leaves)

Lord Chatterly: Well, O.K., the letter 'D' is the first letter in, er, well, er,...(a doctor appears to give him a flu shot) OUCH!

Doctor AM: Sorry kid. I just gave you a flu shot to make you feel better and I'm the doctor and 'doctor' begins with 'D'!

Lord Chatterly: Yeah, but you can't do that on television!

Doctor AM: Well, I just want you to feel better.

Lord Chatterly: Will you please get out of here!

Doctor AM: All right! All right! All right! If this IS a television show, I'll leave. (Leaves)

Lord Chatterly: Thank you. Now, the letter 'D' (the white 'D' appears again) is used in preposition words and so many action words like dig, dress, draw, down, delete, disappear, daydream, dark, die, dirty, drop, disguise, dislike, disagree, and...(some of the AM's begin to decorate the set of "Alphaet Chat" into a dance party) decorate???

Boy#1: Yep! Decorate! That's a 'D' action we're doing!

Lord Chatterly: But this is MY television show!

Boy#1: I know this is your television show but we have to show you one 'D' action you forget to mention!

Boy#2: That's right! This will be our big closing! Hee hee hee.

Lord Chatterly: Er, I was going to say that, er, never mind. The letter D is also used in noun words like drum, door, doll, dandelion, daffodil, dime, dollar, doughnut, dinner, dessert, dish, dart, dream, dump, dot, detention, diary, disc, DVD, dirt, dictionary, decagon...

Green Boy AM: O.K. Let's get it started...

(Some of the AM's reveal the disc jockey player. They start playing music from today's artists like Hillary Duff (SSetta's favorite singer), Bowling For Soup, Good Charolette and more. They start dancing all over the studio and destroy the Alphabet Chat set! Lord Chatterly is very upset.)

AM Boy#1: You forgot one noun that starts with 'D'-DISC JOCKEY!

AM Boy#2: You forgot one verb that starts with 'D'-DANCE!!!

(Alphabet Chat Closing Theme plays.)

Lord Chatterly: OH, NO!!! (Screaming so loud) You DESTROY my set!! And THAT is the DUMBEST closing I ever saw!! I'm DISGUSTED! YOU ARE RUINING MY SHOW!!!

AM Boy#1: Sorry! We have to dance all over!!

Lord Chatterly: (Furiously) OH, YEAH??!! I THINK YOU RUIN MY SET! YOU RUIN MY BIG FINISH! AND I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE! I SHOULD WORK ON MY BETTER EPISODE!!!

End of Sketch
 

mikealan

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Well, what did all of you think of my newest super-duper Alphabet Chat Letter D skit?
 

Boober_Gorg

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Yeah, the characters' delivery makes it sound like a bad Anime fan-dub that only succeeds in making the viewer laugh at how BAD it is. But it's all a matter of perspective.
 

Ryan

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Drug dealer? This place has officially gone insane. :rolleyes:
 

MuppetDude

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This sounds like an early Alphabet Chat segment, but how about a few...improvements?

--Maybe if you change "drug dealer" to a "donut dealer", or something more P.C. for SS...

--Getting rid of the words "die" and "flu shot" (since many kids may be afraid of shots, unless it could set a good example to being healthy. :zany: )

And in a weird twist, how about changing the party music to a techno version of the Alphabet Chat's theme song?
 
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