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Sam and Friends BookYou know what? I decided just for one day, I want to behave and act like Trump, just to see what the response would be like, since it always seems to have such a positive affect on him, so here it goes:
I'm the greatest independent producer ever. I'm really, really, really great. Sid and Marty Krofft? John R. Dilworth? These people should be coming to me. I mean, what have these people done lately? And what kind of a name is Dilworth anyway? What kind of a name is Krofft? Why do they have to have two Fs in their names? Do those Fs stand for "fake" and "failure"? Because, you see, I'm a winner. No matter what I do, I win, and I win in a bigly way, because I'm the greatest independent producer ever. I've won many awards for my work, I wish I could show them to you - my awards, that is - but I keep them under lock and key, because I'm a humble and modest person.
And you know what else I am? I'm the greatest puppeteer ever. The best. Really, really great. Jim Henson wasn't so great. He was good, but he wasn't great. I mean, did you know he actually made Kermit the Frog from a coat and ping pong balls? Maybe Kermit the Frog's real name should be Frugal the Frog. And talk about a sell-out, this Henson guy sold the Muppets to Disney, and for what? To relieve himself of all responsibilty. That just goes to show you he wasn't so great. Actually, I really blame Sesame Street for his not-so-greatness. I mean, that show's been around, what? Some twenty odd years or so? Whatever. And not once has it ever turned a profit. Why? Because it's on PBS. Who needs PBS? It does nothing. It contributes nothing to society. And nobody watches it but a bunch of bleedin' hearts, delicate snowflakes, and coffee-drinking yupies. See, Jim Henson probably could have been almost great if he didn't associate with these kinds of snowflakes, it's made the Muppets too soft, too cutesy, and too nice. It sucks. I'm the best puppeteer. I'm all over YouTube, I'm hard to miss.
Speaking of which, I'm also the greatest YouTuber ever. I've got more subscribers and dedicated fans than PewDiePie and Casey Neistat combined, and have you seen these two losers? PewDiePie - and by the way, what the frog kind of a name is "PewDiePie" anyway? What is a PewDiePie, anyway? A gay Pepe LePew or something? Anyway, this PewDiePie guy? He was so upset that I have more subscribers than him, that he deleted his entire channel in shame. Don't feel too bad for the guy though, he can't help it that he can never measure up to my level of awesomeness - which is more than I can say about that Casey Neistat. What's with that mug of his anyway? Did some prison thugs bash him in the face with ugly sticks or something? I mean, he looks like the kind of guy you would call the cops on if you saw him walking towards your kid in a park. They're both jealous of my YouTube success, and rightly they should be.
Hey, @heralde? Why don't you pop into the kitchen and makeme something to eat while I post some important stuff on Twitter?
I'm the greatest independent producer ever. I'm really, really, really great. Sid and Marty Krofft? John R. Dilworth? These people should be coming to me. I mean, what have these people done lately? And what kind of a name is Dilworth anyway? What kind of a name is Krofft? Why do they have to have two Fs in their names? Do those Fs stand for "fake" and "failure"? Because, you see, I'm a winner. No matter what I do, I win, and I win in a bigly way, because I'm the greatest independent producer ever. I've won many awards for my work, I wish I could show them to you - my awards, that is - but I keep them under lock and key, because I'm a humble and modest person.
And you know what else I am? I'm the greatest puppeteer ever. The best. Really, really great. Jim Henson wasn't so great. He was good, but he wasn't great. I mean, did you know he actually made Kermit the Frog from a coat and ping pong balls? Maybe Kermit the Frog's real name should be Frugal the Frog. And talk about a sell-out, this Henson guy sold the Muppets to Disney, and for what? To relieve himself of all responsibilty. That just goes to show you he wasn't so great. Actually, I really blame Sesame Street for his not-so-greatness. I mean, that show's been around, what? Some twenty odd years or so? Whatever. And not once has it ever turned a profit. Why? Because it's on PBS. Who needs PBS? It does nothing. It contributes nothing to society. And nobody watches it but a bunch of bleedin' hearts, delicate snowflakes, and coffee-drinking yupies. See, Jim Henson probably could have been almost great if he didn't associate with these kinds of snowflakes, it's made the Muppets too soft, too cutesy, and too nice. It sucks. I'm the best puppeteer. I'm all over YouTube, I'm hard to miss.
Speaking of which, I'm also the greatest YouTuber ever. I've got more subscribers and dedicated fans than PewDiePie and Casey Neistat combined, and have you seen these two losers? PewDiePie - and by the way, what the frog kind of a name is "PewDiePie" anyway? What is a PewDiePie, anyway? A gay Pepe LePew or something? Anyway, this PewDiePie guy? He was so upset that I have more subscribers than him, that he deleted his entire channel in shame. Don't feel too bad for the guy though, he can't help it that he can never measure up to my level of awesomeness - which is more than I can say about that Casey Neistat. What's with that mug of his anyway? Did some prison thugs bash him in the face with ugly sticks or something? I mean, he looks like the kind of guy you would call the cops on if you saw him walking towards your kid in a park. They're both jealous of my YouTube success, and rightly they should be.
Hey, @heralde? Why don't you pop into the kitchen and makeme something to eat while I post some important stuff on Twitter?
