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Challenges , Triumphs & Pixie Dust!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jvcarroll, Apr 13, 2018 at 9:41 AM.

  1. jvcarroll

    jvcarroll Well-Known Member

    A'ight, people. Third time's a charm. This thread could very well be doomed too, but I'm an eternal optimist (I even sometimes think there's hope for Trump, good Gawd, I hope there's hope for Trump) so, there's that.

    I've been thinking a lot about my values lately. I'm going to list them in a second, but first, I'd like this thread to be about our challenges and triumphs and silliness that makes our lives worthwhile. If politics is part of this, please reveal how it particularly relates to you. Even though this place is for personal things, lets try not to take the opinions of others here personally. This is neither an are for liberal safe spaces or conservative manifestos. It's for us. Share only what you feel okay sharing and treat other members' sharing with an open heart. I've been doubling down on mindfulness and compassion. Let's see if that can last. Eeep! I've been an MC member since 1999. That's longer than some of you have been alive. I might not always get along with everyone. I've stormed off a lot. I think we all have at one time or another. But there's a part of me that loves y'all. That means everybody. We're all Muppet fans, after all. This whole thread could fail, but I'm an artist. I throw a bunch of experimental stuff against the wall and see what sticks. That's my life.

    I've forgotten many of my values during this time of turmoil and Trump, but this list helped me out a lot when I was in a very bad place in my life. You might like them, you might think they're bunk, but I like 'em. Feel free to take what you like and leave the rest where they are.

    SKILLS FOR AUTHENTIC GROWTH
    Excerpts from The Velvet Rage Second Edition

    SKILL: LIFE CHOICES

    THE PERSON I WOULD BECOME: Make decisions based on what the person you wish to become would do in the same situation.

    INNER PEACE ABOVE ALL ELSE: Ultimately, the goal in life is inner peace. How does this choice contribute to your inner peace?

    NEVER REACT WHILE FEELING AN INTENSE EMOTION: Delay making a decision or reacting while feeling an intense emotion. Distract yourself until the feeling subsides, then decide what decision or action should be taken.

    CONTENTMENT OVER APPROVAL: Populate your life with investments of time and emotion that increase your contentment rather than eliciting acceptance and approval of others.


    SKILL: INCREASING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

    ACCEPT REALITY ON REALITY’S TERMS: Seek to see reality as it is rather than as you wish it to be.

    ONE THING, ONE PERSON, ONE CONVERSATION IN THE MOMENT: Give your full attention and focus to that which is before you in this moment.

    TAKE A NON-JUDGMENTAL STANCE WHENEVER POSSIBLE: Limit the urge to classify everything in life somewhere between good and bad. “It is what it is.”

    OBSESSING ABOUT PAIN CREATES MORE PAIN: The continuous recitation of painful feelings, stories and memories brings only temporary relief and, in the long term, increases your pain.

    WALK YOUR WAY OUT OF DISTRESS: When feeling particularly distressing emotions, the only way to decrease pain is to force yourself to act contrary to the emotion.

    RESPECT YOUR BODY: Care for your body as a precious possession.

    NO FEELING LASTS FOREVER: Emotions are only temporary and all will eventually pass.


    SKILL: RELATIONSHIPS

    DON’T LET YOUR PHYSICAL ATTRACTION BE THE FILTER BY WHICH YOU ALLOW PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE: Approach and cultivate relationships with people who are authentic and validating rather than just those who are cute.

    BE RIGHT OR BE HAPPY: Relinquish the urge to always be “right,” and instead attend to the needs of your relationships.

    ALWAYS LOOK FIRST FOR THE INNOCENCE OF OTHERS: No matter how difficult another person may be, he is doing in that moment the best he can do.

    IN CONFLICT, ALWAYS ASSESS YOUR REPSONSIBILITY FIRST: Resist the urge to blame another for a conflict, and instead first assess and own your responsibility.

    KEEP YOUR INNER CIRCLE SACRED AND SAFE: Carefully guard and assess those individuals you allow into your inner circle of intimacy. Their influence is monumental.

    VALIDATE WHAT IS VALID (AND NEVER THE INVALID): Seek to find the truth in another person’s experience and reflect that back to him or her.

    OWN YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET: Own your feelings. No one else is responsible for how you feel.

    SPEAK TO THE OFFENDER FIRST (INSTEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE): In a conflict, seek to speak to the offender before discussing the conflict with others.

    LIVE IN INTEGRITY: In all interactions with others, be compassionately and deliberately honest.

    DEFAULT TO FORGIVENESS RATHER THAN RESENTMENT: When disappointed or offended by others, allow the other person to hold a different point of view rather than closing your heart to him or her.

    EMBRACE AMBIVALENCE: Seek out and embrace the omnipresent competing feelings about all things in life. This is a hard one to wrap the brain around, but we don't have to have 100% feelings about anything. In fact, it exposes the humanity in us not to.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2018 at 10:15 AM
  2. LittleJerry92

    LittleJerry92 Well-Known Member

    *casually already gets popcorn ready for when the fights ensume*

    Nah, I kid. Like I said, I'm always down to trashing our president.
     
    MuppetsRule likes this.
  3. jvcarroll

    jvcarroll Well-Known Member

    This is only about "trashing" him if he's done something that individually impacts us. I.E. a trans person talking about his proposed ban of trans people in the military. The rest, well, that's best left for other areas. This really isn't about Trump or politics. These threads were always supposed to be about US. It could all easily fail miserably, but lets try. That's why I listed my values. What are some of y'all's?
     
  4. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    LittleJerry92 and jvcarroll like this.
  5. jvcarroll

    jvcarroll Well-Known Member

  6. dwayne1115

    dwayne1115 Well-Known Member

    This sounds a lot like self help to healing mental health. I like it,but oh my frog are those things hard to do.
     
    jvcarroll likes this.
  7. Old Thunder

    Old Thunder Well-Known Member

    Jamie got really close to making the longest post ever this time. How much farther can he go?

    I mean, I'm really curious as to how long he can get something to be and what the context is for that post, lol. Will be interested to see it if / when it happens. :D
     
    jvcarroll likes this.
  8. jvcarroll

    jvcarroll Well-Known Member

    Thanks. Yup. It's impossible to so all of that all of the time. It's just like being a Christian. Nobody is who's a Christian is perfect at it, but that doesn't change the goals, right? All we can do as humans is to learn from our mistakes and try to be a little better next time. Everyone here knows how much I suck at some of these values. But I still try. Eeep! ;)
     
  9. jvcarroll

    jvcarroll Well-Known Member

    Brevity may very well be the soul of wit, but I'm known for long things.:skeptical: :shifty:
     
    LittleJerry92 and Old Thunder like this.
  10. MikaelaMuppet

    MikaelaMuppet Well-Known Member

    I'm trying to think of something to post in here, but don't know what.
     
    jvcarroll likes this.
  11. MuppetsRule

    MuppetsRule Well-Known Member

    You do know the definition of insanity, right?
     
    CensoredAlso and jvcarroll like this.
  12. MikaelaMuppet

    MikaelaMuppet Well-Known Member

    Me? Yes.
     
  13. MuppetsRule

    MuppetsRule Well-Known Member

    No, not you. The OP
     
  14. MikaelaMuppet

    MikaelaMuppet Well-Known Member

    :o
     
    MuppetsRule likes this.
  15. jvcarroll

    jvcarroll Well-Known Member

    Rest easy, fella. I've got a therapist and haven't bitten anyone in quite some time. :halo:
     
  16. MuppetsRule

    MuppetsRule Well-Known Member

    You aren't paying your therapist enough. But I suppose maybe that's why you are posting so many words lately. Cha-ching
     
    jvcarroll likes this.
  17. jvcarroll

    jvcarroll Well-Known Member

    Oh, he's 'spensive. So, yeah.
     
  18. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    Eh I will admit, I was disappointed when I thought I’d never get to have one of our famous discussions here again, hehe.
     
    jvcarroll likes this.
  19. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    I’ve learned how to stand by my decisions more than I used to, and as to have patience that things will unfold as they should. Like, I’ve been perusing acting as a hobby (I have a professional job that’s more Communications related). And I’ve done well for myself actually building up my resume. But it’s a hazard of acting that you don’t often know when your next gig is coming from, and that can send you into a bit of a panic (of course it’s even harder on professional actors who rely on it for a living). Anyway, the point is for awhile I was so overtaken by that fear that I ended up begging for attention from people I hadn’t even enjoy working with all that much. A couple who had been downright a**holes even. I had convinced myself that it was strong to try and “suck up it” and live with it. But I see now that was nonsense. It’s stronger to hold out for projects I know I will enjoy, and people I know I can trust. So I decided to stop begging and go through other outlets (such as Backstage for instance). It took a lot of patience but eventually I managed to land an audition and get in a comedy sketch show that turned out amazing! And not long after that, a friend recommended me for a play that we’re rehearsing now (networking is also a valuable skill, hehe). So yeah, I’m glad I had a change of heart in that regard. It’s too easy to give into worry and let it distort your thinking.
     
    jvcarroll and Old Thunder like this.
  20. dwayne1115

    dwayne1115 Well-Known Member

    I'm working on how to respect others regardless of their beliefs and or lifestyles.
     
    jvcarroll and LittleJerry92 like this.


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