A/N: There are literally loads of these on FF.net, but as far as I know, there's not a Muppet version. And now there is! Enjoy, and I sincerely hope no-one takes this the wrong way. This was made purely for fun! I do not own the Muppets. Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors, Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for each and every fan of the Muppets, but let me just settle this once and for all. Me and Miss Piggy are in no way involved with one another in any possible romantic way at all! Yes, it is obvious that she has harboured strong feelings for me over the years and that there was a spark between us when we first met, but that's all it ever was. A spark. Our relationship is strictly a professional one. All this romantic stuff is just a fabrication by Miss Piggy. We are not secretly dating or married. So please, I beg of you, if you are to write stories about me and Miss Piggy, please show respect and don't write us as a couple. It will only encourage her. Yours Truly, Kermit the Frog. P.S. No, I am not in denial.