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Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors...

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by AlittleMayhem, May 24, 2012.

  1. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    A/N: There are literally loads of these on FF.net, but as far as I know, there's not a Muppet version. And now there is! Enjoy, and I sincerely hope no-one takes this the wrong way. This was made purely for fun! I do not own the Muppets.

    Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors,

    Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for each and every fan of the Muppets, but let me just settle this once and for all. Me and Miss Piggy are in no way involved with one another in any possible romantic way at all! Yes, it is obvious that she has harboured strong feelings for me over the years and that there was a spark between us when we first met, but that's all it ever was. A spark. Our relationship is strictly a professional one. All this romantic stuff is just a fabrication by Miss Piggy. We are not secretly dating or married. So please, I beg of you, if you are to write stories about me and Miss Piggy, please show respect and don't write us as a couple. It will only encourage her.

    Yours Truly,

    Kermit the Frog.

    P.S. No, I am not in denial.
  2. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors,

    Kissy, kissy! Moi has been looking into this media known as “fanfiction” and moi has wanted to congratulate vous on these adorable and very accurate romantic stories about moi and my Kermie! Now if only I can get him to act like you write him in real life…

    Love vous all! Keep up the good work!

    Kissy Kissy!

    Miss Piggy!

    P.S. As for my frog’s denial of our relationship, just so you know, he is taking a public stance so not to upset his female fans. So I let him deny that we are, in fact, MARRIED!
  3. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors,

    As a lot of you may know, Jim Henson, the godfather of the Muppets and my personal friend, passed away in 1990. In fact, the 22nd anniversary of his death was just last week. It was an awful day for us, especially for me and others who worked closely with Jim. Kermit, Link, Dr. Teeth, The Newsman, The Swedish Chef, to name a few. For a while, some of us didn’t speak or work much for a few years, me included. Now I am working with Bill and doing much better.

    However, the reason I’m writing this letter to you is to say…thank you. I am aware that you guys have been writing beautiful tributes to Jim. You guys didn’t even know him, yet they bring me to tears, both of joy and sadness. I’m always touched by how many people Jim reached out to and how many still miss him. I miss him too. Thank you all!

    Your friend,

    Rowlf the Dog.
  4. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors,

    I write this letter to you to inform you that you are sick and weird! You spend your time writing these disgusting “fanfictions” about the Muppets. Your grammar is atrociously poor, the characters you create are weirdoes and the stories are far from cultural, American, decent and proper entertainment! Very much like the original Muppet Sho-


    Yours sincerely,

    Sam the American Eagle!

    P.S. Why aren’t there any stories about me, hmm? Am I not good enough for you?
  5. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    I can honestly say that there similar stories like this, but not in the Muppet fandom. Personally, I usually avoid these types of stories for the simple matter is that most are written by twelve year old fan girls who have crushes on the main star of a show/movie and will work whatever is going on with their lives into the story, even if it has no basis in fact in terms of the actual story/movie.

    With all of that said...

    I liked this. :) Especially Sam's deriding of us authors and then turning around and asking why there aren't stories about him. I also liked Rowlf's thanks.

    Only one nitpick is Kermit's, just because he has recently - and ever so reluctantly - admitted that he and Piggy are indeed a couple. And by admitted, I mean as though on pain of death or that he'd rather be in a dentist chair than to admit that, for all that is holy, he is essentially Mr. Piggy.

    But all aside, I did indeed enjoy it.
  6. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Thank you! I'm glad you like it!

    I do understand what you mean about Kermit and Miss Piggy. However, their relationship is practically all over the place. It's just an endless cycle of denial, love and denial again, especially from Kermit's side. It's a complicated love story! Heck, I would be surprised if Kermit starts the denial again in a few years.

    But, meh, whatever. Whether they're together or not, I like 'em either way. *shrug*
  7. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors,

    You guys are awesome! Y’know, I been reading these stories you’ve written about me. The acts you come up with! Oh, my gosh! Why didn’t I think of bronzing my nose while doing the highland fling on an twenty feet pole stuck on a giant cheese, also balancing a crocodile tank AND reciting Robert Burns Tam O’ Shanter!

    Oh, wait. I did.

    Well, whatever! You’ve given me so many inspirations for my acts, I’ve lost count!

    Keep the danger comin’ baby! HAHAHA!

    Yours Truly,

    Gonzo The Great!
  8. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors,


    That is all.



    A/N: Yeah, I don't know....
  9. Misskermie

    Misskermie Well-Known Member

    Haha! Animal and his drums!
  10. KirbTreelo05

    KirbTreelo05 Well-Known Member

    In the words of a certain flightless, orange fowl:

    "I'm liking this idea!" :laugh: Sam's was my favorite so far. Can't wait to see more ^^
    AlittleMayhem likes this.
  11. Slackbot

    Slackbot Well-Known Member

    I can imagine Scooter expressing surprise at how lively a love life he has in fanfic...
  12. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Ah, you saw right through my plan! ;)

    Yeah, I have one for Scooter, but I'm not sure how to word it yet...
  13. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    A/N: This isn't really a proper "letter". It's just filler until I finish Scooter's. Just a quick warning, I'm not very good at S&W type humor. :/ Enjoy!

    “Well, looks like the bear really outdone himself!”

    “Yeah, too bad he could outdo us this time!”


    “Hey, Waldorf!”


    “I just remembered. Ever heard about fanfiction?”

    “Oh, yeah. How’s the old coot doing? I haven’t seen him in years!”

    “No, you old fool! Fanfiction, not Dan Diction.”

    “Nan Friction? Isn’t she that gal we met at DisneyWorld?”


    “Hey, not so loud. You’ll bust my hearing aid.”


    “Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Absolutely dumb.”

    “Mm, ridiculous!”





    “I’ve read a few.”

    “Wha-You read them?! How could you?!”

    “Yep. Well, mostly the reviews. You should see them. They tear apart these brainless stories piece by piece by their nasty comments!”



    “That’s sounds like us!”


    “Then what are we doing watching this dumb show! Let’s go find a computer and heckle some kids’ fantasies!”

  14. Twisted Tails

    Twisted Tails Well-Known Member

    The Aminal :halo: letter was hilarious, the hecklers :sleep: :boo: snippet was not bad, but the Rowlf :sympathy: letter made me cry (cries). Awesome job, LittleMayhem! Post more soon please!
    AlittleMayhem likes this.
  15. Misskermie

    Misskermie Well-Known Member

    LOL I love statler and waldiorf! You old coots!
    No, let's do it the funny way.

    OH! Sorry.
    AlittleMayhem likes this.
  16. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    LOL! Thanks, guys! :)
  17. Twisted Tails

    Twisted Tails Well-Known Member

    :excited: Nooooooo problem, LittleMayhem.
    How has your summer been going so far?
  18. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Okay. Went to Edinburgh with the family, but that was about it. Just trying to find a job and get on with this thing called life.
    bouncingbabyfig likes this.
  19. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    A/N: I'm...not totally happy with this, but I'll just leave this here and hope someone enjoys it.

    Dear Muppet Fanfiction Authors,

    I just wanted to talk to you about these stories you’ve been writing about me. Well, I have to admit, I’m surprised! Am I really that attractive? Huh, I never thought of myself like that! Wow!

    Ok, so some of you may have made characters that weren’t completely my type or I may have acted OOC (out of character, to the non-nerds out there) in one or two stories. Or you may have got my, erm, gender preference a little bit wrong and you are writing about my deeply personal life which you really have no right to, but those are just nick-picks.

    No one seems to understand to trials of being a gofer. No one seems to care about what I want and you people make me feel so special and appreciated and lo-

    Excuse me. Kermit just called in and wants me to help him with tonight’s show. We have a finale planned with the singing vegetables, a dozen Muppets on rocket launchers and forty monsters doing the tango. And Miss Piggy wants me to collect some feather boas and help her with her latest scheme to get Kermit to notice her. Then I have to help Gonzo with his… I dunno, something to do with canon, a kilt and a dozen chickens in tutus.



    ConsummateVs and LaniArianna like this.
  20. Twisted Tails

    Twisted Tails Well-Known Member

    LittleMayhem, I love what you are doing right now. This is great! More updates, okay? Thanks! (chuckles)!

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