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Err A-Parent

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Fan Art' started by Ruahnna, Jul 3, 2011.

  1. Katzi428 Well-Known Member

    Heehee. Although it's hard on the ol' froggie blood pressure,it's funny to see Kermit getting really mad! Robin's so cute with his little girl friends. (Quite the ladies' man!;)) Sounds like Piggy's got some plans of her own instead of just hanging around the kitchen.
  2. Fersureitsjess Active Member

  3. Ruahnna Well-Known Member


    Chapter 6

    Kermit had never insisted on first class. In fact, one of the joys of being a frog was that chairs and beds and tubs and things were rarely snug, so first class was not something that he insisted on. You got quicker food, yes, if you could call it food, but it wasn’t any better than what they served in the back of the plane. But they had insisted and here he sat. And still no candied gnats.

    He did not know where his phone was, but since there had been nothing left in the hotel room, or the cab, he assumed it was somewhere in his carry-on. He had tried calling it from a pay phone in the lobby, but chances were good that it was turned off (or run down) and that’s why he didn’t hear it. Kermit stopped a leggy stewardess going by and asked for the time. She told him and he did some calculations in his head. Unless something else happened, he should be home in time for supper—perhaps a late supper. The thought of food from his own kitchen was comforting, and Kermit smiled wanly.
    His seatmate to the left was a middle-aged man with his nose buried in a best-seller. Kermit envied him his happy snoring. On his right was a young boy, about ten, who was obviously traveling with his mother who was in the seat in front of him. The boy had his eyes glued to some sort of hand-held game, and the mother kept turning around to give Kermit a suspicious look. He did his best to look inoffensive.
    Something exciting must have happened in the game, because the little boy said “Yes!!” and made a fist pump. Kermit looked politely interested in case the boy wanted to share his victorious moment, but the boys immediately clutched the game again with both hands and continued pressing buttons. Internally, Kermit shrugged. Video games seemed to be a necessary evil nowadays.
    He liked kids. He loved interacting with kids. Although he had never had his own biological kids, he had played uncle to all of his siblings’ kids, and been a sort of surrogate parent to several others. Scooter, for example. Scooter had had family, but over time Kermit had seemed to fall naturally into the role of father figure, and he’d certainly been proud of the young man he’d turned out to be. And Robin, who had been the one out of all of his siblings’ children to embrace Kermit as a permanent sort of guardian, well—he couldn’t be prouder of the young frog Robin had turned into if he had been his own little hatchling. Kermit sighed. He supposed he had once assumed that he and Piggy would have a house full of kids, but that seemed destined never to be.
    Oh well, thought Kermit. A house full kids was a nice idea, but a house full of just him and Piggy and Robin—that was great, too. He could hardly wait….

    After approving Piggy’s transformation from June Cleaver to ultra-cool parental unit, the girls had been invited into Piggy’s bedroom to change. While wildly impressed by Piggy’s closet, neither girl had been awed. Both of them put on their bathing suits—Keri’s rather athletic and Nancy’s rather modest—and slipped on sundresses over the top. Keri was delighted with Piggy’s help with a quick, tousled up-do, but Nancy merely slipped on a pretty plastic headband that settled just in front of her horns, securing her hair in a practical way. They emerged, somewhat shyly, from Piggy and Kermit’s room to find Robin waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. He wore his favorite faded jeans and a Zombie Revolution t-shirt, and there was about an inch of his dark blue swim trunks showing above the waistband.
    Everybody smiled and blushed a little and Piggy bit her tongue to keep from looking amused. They did not get embarrassed running up and down the field, sweating and crashing into each other, slipping, falling, yelling—but put them in party clothes and suddenly they were shy? She got out of the way by hiding in the kitchen for a moment.
    The doorbell rang and Robin answered the door. “Mr. The Frog?” the man in a neat white coat asked.
    “You’re looking for my Uncle,” said Robin politely. “Actually, I guess you’re looking for my Aunt, Mrs. The Frog.”
    “I am,” the man said, then smiled broadly when he saw Piggy emerge from the dining room. “Hello, Mrs. The Frog. It was great to get your call. Where do you want the edibles?”
    That occupied Piggy for the better part of a half-hour, and Robin and his friends wandered out to the pool which glittered and glimmered in the waning sun.
    “So, Kermit and Miss Piggy are your Aunt and Uncle, but you grew up in a swamp, right?” asked Keri. Nancy smiled at Robin. She knew all of this.
    “Sortof,” said Robin. He rolled his jeans up to the knee and sat on the edge of the pool, dangling his flippers in the water. “Frogs usually have big families,” he said, “so I have lots of family back home, but Uncle Kermit and I just sortof—“ He shrugged, grinning. “—bonded. I started coming for visits as soon as I lost my, um, tail.” Robin blushed, suddenly realizing he was veering into more biology than he wanted to get into with two young ladies. Charmed, Nancy sat beside him on the edge of the pool, carefully hitching the hem of her dress away from the water. It just so happened that, since she sat between him and one of the ladders instead of on his other side, that they were forced to sit rather close, and when Robin turned to look at her, her bright eyes were not six inches from his own.
    “So…you and your Uncle were close,” Nancy said.
    Robin swallowed. “Very close,” he said.
    Suddenly, there was a noise like a plane trying to land in their back yard, and Robin startled and looked away.
    “What is that noise?” Keri asked, covering her ears.
    But Robin jumped to his feet, grinning broadly. “Mayhem,” he said. “Complete and total mayhem!”

    Kermit must have dozed, but luckily the turbulence woke him. That kept the stewardess from waking him when she went calmly but loudly down the aisle reiterating that they should put up trays, stow loose objects, remember to respond calmly and quickly if the air pressure in the cabin dropped too low and the oxygen masks dropped.
    “That would be neat,” the boy next to Kermit said. Kermit sat up from his slump wearily.
    “You think so?” Kermit asked, but mildly. The mother in front of him turned around and gave him another suspicious look.
    “Yeah,” the little boy said. “My character in my zombie game wears an oxygen mask—it’s cool.”
    It was hard to know what to say to that, so Kermit said nothing. He felt stiff and sluggish and dry, and he tried to stretch in the seat to ease his cramped neck muscles. The man next to him appeared to be doing the same, looking around sheepishly. He shot his cuff and looked at his watch, which allowed Kermit to glimpse the time.
    The time seemed off, and Kermit tried to think why, only belatedly realizing that he’d failed to factor in the time change. If Scooter had been there, he’d have reminded Kermit. If Kermit had not lost his phone in his bulging briefcase, the phone would have automatically reset itself to the proper time. Kermit realized two things almost simultaneously—it was not as late and he’d thought, and he had more hours to go before falling face-first into bed. The two thoughts roughly canceled each other out, the good and bad mingling into what there was.
    Home, Kermit thought. I just want to be home.


    Robin unlocked the latch and threw the gates wide open. In walked The Electric Mayhem in all their glittery glory.
    “Felicitations,” said Dr. Teeth, his trademark gold tooth flashing bright in the slanting rays of the sun. He and Robin engaged in some sort of complex handshake that ended when the good doctor hauled Robin against his barrel chest and gave him an unexpected noogie.
    “Dr. Teeth!” Robin howled, but he was laughing. “Hey—stop. Hey—I can’t believe Aunt Piggy called you!”
    “Hey—me neither, nephew of the Bossman,” grinned Dr. Teeth. “She said it was some sort of school soiree, only cooler.”
    Behind him, Floyd Pepper rambled with one arm around Janice and a firm grip on Animal’s chain. Zoot wandered in and buried his nose in a fragrant bunch of bougainvillea.
    Nancy’s eyes were wide, but Keri seemed to have stopped breathing.
    “Oh. My. Gosh,” she said. “It’s—it’s them!” She let out a high-pitched shriek that she had the presence of mind to shut off almost at once by clamping her hand over her mouth. She grabbed on to Nancy’s arm and jumped up and down. “Omigosh! Oh! My! Gosh! “
    “I know,” said Nancy, a little dazed.
    “Hey there, tall, green and happenin’,” rasped Floyd Pepper. Janice leaned in and gave Robin a smooch on his smooth cheek. Robin might have had an inch or two on her now, if she hadn’t been in some spanking new clogs.
    “Hey Floyd. Hi Janice.” Years ago, Robin had been absolved from calling them Mr. Floyd and Ms. Janice—even Kermit couldn’t see insisting. Animal strained at his leash, eliciting a little yeep of fright from Keri, but then sniffed Robin’s clean frog scent and relaxed.
    “Rah. Bin,” said Animal, his eyebrows signaling his mellowing mood.
    “Um, we’ve got Scooby Snacks in the kitchen,” said Robin. “What kind does he like?”
    “You got chipotle?”
    “Sure.” Robin waved at Zoot, who was staring, transfixed, at the glittering pool. “Hey, Zoot!”
    Zoot waved vaguely.
    Robin was walking toward the house, facing backward to talk to Dr. Teeth. “The outlets and power cords are all over there in the side of the pool house,” Robin said. “Hey—where’s Lips—he’s coming, right?”
    “Aw, he’s coming,” said Floyd. “Something about picking up his dry-cleaning.”
    When Robin walked past the girls, they grabbed his arms so hard he yelped.
    “Hey! Ouch—I was going to use that arm,” he said, giving Keri a look.
    It took the girls about 4.5 seconds to drag Robin bodily into the house and start squealing at him in high-pitched girl-speak. Robin looked momentarily panicked, but Piggy was nearby to interpret.
    “They’re excited about the band,” said Piggy. “Right, ladies?”
    Again, they bombarded Robin with sound and he back up from it, hands in front of him as though to calm them.
    “Hey—it’s cool. It’s just the Mayhem—you, you wanna come say ‘hi’?
    It took them even less time to drag him back outside.
    Katzi428 likes this.
  4. Katzi428 Well-Known Member

    I'm lovin' it! :excited: Have to admit though, I kind of gagged at the mention of "candied gnats" .But then I realized I had to think in the "frog" mode. (Still,in a segment on SS long time ago w/Kermit & Bob Kermit said that he eats the same things as humans :"Fried chicken & pizza... etc." Kermit IS a frog though.So I guess insects are food to him.;))
  5. Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    Okay--I have to come clean here. Kermit's phone is in his carry-on. He does NOT have it in his hand to look for the confirmation number that Scooter put into his phone. I guess he wrote the confirmation number down on an, um, envelope or something--I don't know what to tell you.... (embarrassed silence) Posting more later. (slinks away)
  6. The Count Moderator

    Is okay... We forgive this small flaw. :super:, cause I don't know what other Muppet smilie to use for "hug".
  7. Ruahnna Well-Known Member


    Chapter 7

    Amazingly, Keri was still upright when the introductions were completed. To their complete enchantment, Dr. Teeth had produced photos of the band and promised to sign them if a writing implement could be secured.

    “We had a box of Sharpies,” he said sadly, “But Animal ate them on the way over.”
    The girls looked, wide-eyed, at the drummer, who panted a little and strained toward them on his leash.
    “We’ll, um, find you a marker,” said Nancy, and dragged Keri quickly away toward the house.
    Robin looked around carefully to make sure the girls had gone and he was not overheard. “Hey, um, Janice,” said Robin earnestly. “If any of the guys ask, would you…” He hesitated, looking up, and the likeness to his Uncle was very pronounced. “Would you tell them you used to babysit me?”
    Janice’s tinkling laugh made Robin blush even as she leaned forward and pressed a fond kiss on his forehead. “Like, totally,” she said. “And I’ll tell them I used to give you guitar lessons—how’s that?”
    “Oh, gosh! That’s—that’s—thank you, Janice—thanks so much!”
    She pulled back and gave him her lazy, amazing smile. “So, what do you want me to tell your little nanny goat friend?”
    Robin groaned and laughed at the same time. Growing up in this group there was no such thing as privacy. “That I’m wonderful?” he said hopefully.
    Janice laughed again, her long blonde hair floating over her shoulders. “Robin, I’m, like, pretty sure she already knows!”

    “That’s weird,” said Scooter. “I’ve been calling and calling Kermit to see how his flight was and he hasn’t answered all day.” He looked over at Sara worriedly. “I hope his flight didn’t get delayed or anything.”
    Sara sat up in bed slowly, trying not to jostle. “Why don’t you call the house? Maybe he’s in the pool or soaking in the tub, poor thing.” Sara had already smothered Scooter with sympathy and kisses when he came home—she still had a little leftover sympathy for Kermit, who had taken the later flight home.
    “Well, I could, but I might bother him,” Scooter said. Normally, he would not have worried about bothering Kermit at home, but he and Kermit has seen rather a lot of each other in the past several days, and Scooter felt like a little downtime would make them happier to see each other at work on Monday.
    Sara grinned at him. “Then why don’t you come up here and bother us,” she said. Scooter put down the phone and scooted back against the headboard. He reached for Sara’s hand and held it to his lips for a moment, then let her take it and hold against the smooth swell of her tummy.
    “Can you feel her?” said Sara. “Right there—she just kicked.”
    “I felt it,” said Scooter, mesmerized with wonder. He leaned over and kissed his very pregnant wife. “But what makes you think it’s a her,” he asked. “It could be a him.”
    “It could be,” Sara sighed. ‘We won’t know until the ultrasound next week.” She laughed, patting Scooter’s warm hand. “I’m as big as a house,” she said. “For all I know, it could be twins.”

    The caterers had everything well in hand. The entire first floor of the house had been festooned with crepe paper, streamers and balloons, the stairway to the bedrooms upstairs roped off by streamers. The fancy little soaps and hand towels were out in the two downstairs bathrooms. The food was out, the band was tuned and the kids from soccer camp were arriving in a pretty steady stream.
    “Um, Aunt Piggy,” said Robin worriedly. “Some of the kids from camp are bringing dates—is that, you know, is that okay?”
    Beside him, Keri looked worried. “We didn’t say they couldn’t….”
    “It was just supposed to be in the school gym,” said Nancy. “I didn’t even think about people bringing dates.”
    Piggy waved their concerns away. “We have enough food here to feed an army,” she said. “A few extra people won’t make any difference.” She pushed Robin toward the patio. “Go out and circulate amongst your guests. A good host is always accessible.” She patted the girls lightly as they passed. “Ladies—try to keep him out of trouble, okay?”
    “Yes, ma’am.”
    “Yes, Mrs. The Frog.”

    “What do you mean, there’s nothing in the overhead compartment?” Kermit asked. He stood up on the seat to look himself.
    “Sir, you can’t stand up there,” said the stewardess primly.
    “Then you’re really not going to like this,” said Kermit. He pushed hard with his hind legs and secured the overhead container, looking up one side and down the other. There was nothing there—nothing at all. The stewardess clucked helplessly and watched him climb down.
    “Someone else probably grabbed your briefcase by mistake,” she said soothingly. “We can check the lost and found at our ticket desk.”
    “But—but it has my phone in it,” Kermit said. “And all my notes and…what am I supposed to do now?”
    “We could go see them as the ticket desk,” she said brightly.
    Kermit knew when the buck—or the frog—was being passed. He gritted his hard palate and stomped off the plane. If he lost this phone, Piggy was going to kill him. He felt like growling, but sighed instead. At least he was on the ground and in the same city as his life.
    Now—if he could just get to it!

    The doorbell had not ceased to ring, so Piggy had gone out to the front porch and Robin had opened up the wrought-iron gate so that it was not necessary to traipse through the house unless one wanted to. He walked around to the front, where two carloads of boys had just parked with more energy than skill.
    Piggy’s eyes were glued to the curb. “Robin,” said Piggy quietly, but there was that obey-me-or-rue-it quality to her voice that made Robin step over smartly to answer her. “How many kids were at soccer camp?”
    Robin looked at the nine boys who piled out of the cars with something like consternation. “What the hey?” he said, sounding so much like Kermit that Piggy almost smiled.
    “We only had, oh—Aunt Piggy—those guys aren’t from the soccer team. They play football. They’re from my school….” He trailed off.
    “Friends of yours?” she asked, not entirely sure.
    “Oh yeah,” said Robin at once. “We’re cool. I just…I just don’t know what they’re doing here.”
    At that precise moment, a jeep full of girls giggled into the lane, depositing a dazzling arrange of femininity on the curb.
    “Ulp,” Robin gulped. “Those girls are…I think that’s the debate team,” Robin said, looking dazed.
    Piggy was surprised. They did not look like the debate team at her old school. She looked at Robin’s shocked expression just as Nancy joined them. She voiced what Piggy was thinking.
    “Robin, where are all these kids coming from? How did they find out about the party?”
    “I…I dunno,” Robin said, his normally smooth brow furrowed. “I don’t—“ His eyes widened and he turned to Piggy suddenly, gripping her arm in alarm. “Aunt Piggy—I—I did not invite anyone but the soccer team. Honest! This was just supposed to be, you know, the kids from camp and maybe a few dates. I—“ He looked at her anxiously, desperate to be believed. Piggy found she did believe him, but that did not solve the immediate problem.
    The boys had reached the door, or rather the sidewalk in front of it and paused. Piggy looked at them mildly, but her blue eyes were flashing, and one of the boys—a tow-headed fellow with a pierced eyebrow—quickly took off his baseball cap in her presence. Piggy smiled at them—a dazzling, scary smile.
    “Hello,” she said. “Can Moi help you?”
    There was some intense unspoken communication from inside the group and then one of the young men stepped—or was pushed—forward.
    “Um, hi, Mrs. The Frog. I’m Alvin and I go to school with Robin. Hey Robin. Hey Nancy.“ Robin and Nancy waved weakly. “Um, we heard…I mean….”
    “Do I take it you were hoping to gatecrash the soccer camp party?” Piggy asked.
    Another round of subliminal communication, but Alvin took a deep breath and faced the music—and Piggy. “Yes Ma’am,” he said earnestly. “I mean, we don’t want to cause trouble or nothing—or anything. We just…um…heard about the party…and the Electric Mayhem and all.”
    Piggy crossed her arms across her chest and looked at them shrewdly. “Do you parents know where you are?”
    “Not—not yet. We were going to see a movie, but….”
    “Call them,” Piggy said shortly. “Tell them where you are.” She stood back and motioned them toward the door. “All of you—come in, wipe your feet and call your parents. Tell them where you are.”
    The silent communication was no longer silent.
    “Yes ma’am.”
    “Thank you, ma’am.”
    “Right away, ma’am.”
    “Thank you, Mrs. The Frog,” said Alvin. “I’ll call my Mom right now. I—you sure are—I like your movies!” he blurted, and blushed furiously.
    “Glad to hear it,” Piggy said, and smiled. She started to bat her eyelashes, but she remembered what Robin had said and toned it down.
    The boys filed past Piggy, trading fist bumps or complicated hand-shakes with Robin and shy smiles with Nancy. The last young man who shuffled past had at least six inches of plaid underwear showing above the top of his jeans.
    “Hitch your trou, please,” Piggy demanded, and he did so before following his friends through the door.
    When they had all cleared the door, Robin turned to Piggy and grinned at her.
    “You’re the best, Aunt Piggy,” he said warmly, then turned and followed his friends inside.
    “Everyone says so,” Piggy murmured to herself. “So it must be true.” She turned back to face the onslaught of girls, reaching for her phone. She was going to need reinforcements.
    Katzi428 likes this.
  8. Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    I SWEAR I'm going to fire my, um, editor. The sentence that says:
    Piggy looked at them mildly, but her blue eyes were flashing, and one of the boys—a two-headed fellow with a pierced eyebrow—quickly took off his baseball cap in her presence.
    SHOULD say:
    Piggy looked at them mildly, but her blue eyes were flashing, and one of the boys—a tow-headed fellow with a pierced eyebrow—quickly took off his baseball cap in her presence.

    TOW-headed is literally "flaxen haired"; A person with very light (almost white) blond hair, "tow" being flax or hemp fibers.

    TWO-headed, well, is like our friend from Sesame Street. Sheesh!

    Ru: It is sad, very sad, when your typos are funnier than your posts....
    Fozzie Bear: Tell me about it!
  9. Katzi428 Well-Known Member

    Oh gosh.:sigh: Sounds like trouble all around. Between Kermit losing his cellphone & some unexpected guests coming to Robin's party, doesn't seem too good. Piggy's good about it though. I would have been tearing my hair out! I hope those kids aren't "using" Robin just to see The Electric Mayhem. (BTW, don't worry about the typo error. It happens to ALL good writers!;))
  10. The Count Moderator

    Erm, yes... *Hopes not to be fired. Do you want that changed? :concern:

    BTW: The last chapter... It reminds me of parties in the past held here at our home where my sibs closed off the neighborhood/suburb entrances allowing for a full-blown blow-out amongst "friends" and assorted "acquaintances" thanks to spreading the invite via word of mouth. You're rully hitting a lot of good notes with this story. :ouch:
    Post more when possible please.
  11. Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    OMGoodness! That would be FANTASTIC, Ed! You are too wonderful!
  12. The Count Moderator

    Done, now off with ye!
    :batty: Ye?
    What, should I have sent them off with the flying monkees?
    UD: (quietly) Fear up sleepy Jean...
  13. Ruahnna Well-Known Member


    Chapter 8

    “Mr. The Frog, I can assure you that we will do everything in our power—“

    Kermit held up one slim green hand. Not for nothing had he worked for years on Sesame Street with children and monsters, and he knew how to invoke the parental sign for “Stop talking now. I’ve heard enough.” He took a deep breath.
    “Fine,” he said, trying and almost succeeding in not sounded snappish and snarky. “I understand. You’ll look for it. You’ll call me if you find it.” He stopped and pressed his froggy lips together to keep from saying…something. “Actually, you’ll have to call my house, or call Scooter Grosse, my personal assistant, who made the arrangements because I don’t have a phone. Do you have those numbers?”
    The airline employee, a diminutive brunette, nodded mutely, eyes wide.
    “Good,” said Kermit. He took a deep breath. “I’m going home,” he said, desperate for the sounds and smells and comforts of his own abode. He took two steps toward the exit and stopped, sighed and came back to the desk. “But I need a ride. I have no phone, no briefcase, no wallet and no car. Can someone call me a cab?”
    “Right away, Mr. The Frog,” whispered the woman. “I’m so sorry about…everything.”
    Kermit was really a very tenderhearted frog. “It’s—I know it’s not your fault. Sometimes—no matter what you do—things are not going to turn out the way you planned.”
    “It’s true! I know you’ve had a tough day, and you’ve been really nice about it.” She smiled timidly. “And I really like your insurance.”
    Kermit sighed as she started to dial.

    “Sorry we weren’t here earlier,” said the deliveryman. Well, deliverybear was more like it. “Traffic was awful. Good thing you had us standby,” he said. He took off his hat politely, then motioned the other two men to begin unloading. “Where do you want the food—kitchen or dining room?”
    “Both, probably,” said Piggy. She looked over her shoulder. “They’re sort of all over.”
    “And you want us to stay and serve?” he confirmed, looking at his notes.
    “Well, serve is probably too strong a word,” said Piggy. “This is a school party, so it’s strictly buffet and paper plates. But yes, do circulate and keep everything filled.”
    “You know we will,” said the deliveryman. He grinned at Piggy. “When I saw the menu, I thought, ‘This doesn’t seem like their usual spread,’” he teased.
    That it’s not, Donnovan,” she said with a smile. “Kermit’s nephew was having a few friends over after soccer camp.”
    Donnovan looked around—all around—and back to Piggy.
    “How many kids were at this camp?”
    Piggy waved it away. “Not this many,” she said, “but you know how it is. One kid posts it to Facebook and the next thing you know....”
    Donnovan laughed. “How’s Mr. The Frog holding up? Is he hiding in his office?”
    Piggy bit back a smile, but her eyes were merry. “Kermit is out of town until tomorrow afternoon,” she said. “We thought we’d spare him the experience.”
    Donnovan laughed and started to unpack a thermal bag of spinach puffs.
    “Mrs. The Frog, I always said you were one smart lady,” he said, then, “Jermaine—come over here and help me get the trays set up.”

    “Gosh, Nancy,” said Keri. “How many kids do you think are here now?”
    Nancy did a quick head count of the room they were in—the living room—then craned her neck and looked at the buffet in the dining room. “—seven, thirty-eight—and there were at least 60 kids outside,” she said. “A hundred and ten maybe? A hundred and twenty counting adults?”
    “I can’t believe your parents came,” said Keri.
    “Yeah—they know Robin’s folks from way back. Mrs. The Frog asked them to come help, but they’re cool.”
    “You’re folks are cool,” said a girl with rows of shiny black braids down her back. She took her lime wedge out of her soda and squeezed its juice into her soft drink. “My folks are not cool at all.”
    “Robin’s Mom is cool,” said a young man wearing a t-shirt that said “I majored in study hall” over loud Hawiian board shorts. “She’s, like, been in movies.”
    “It’s his aunt,” said another boy, tall and thin, with a long ginger ponytail and a wispy mustache and beard. “She and Robin’s uncle make movies.”
    “I saw their Treasure Island in literature class,” offered a girl bunny who had arrived with Roger, one of the soccer players. “She has great clothes in that.”
    “She looks like a fashionista tonight,” one of the girls from the debate team said enviously. “I love those capris.”
    “Oh know! And her shoes—I can’t walk in wedges that high,” another girl said sadly.
    My mom dresses like Donna Reed,” said a young woman glumly. “You know—one of those 50s sitcom moms?”
    Nancy and Keri exchanged a look and a smile.
    “OMG!” gushed Keri. “This is, like, the coolest party ever.”
    A young man with blue spiked hair was helping himself to a raspberry lemonade. “Way,” he said. “Have you heard the band?”
    “Heard them?” said a young lady wearing a blue-and-white-striped t-shirt dress over a red bathing suit. “Have you seen them? The bass player is sortof yummy.”
    “Yeah, but the drummer bites,” said Robin, coming up and grinning at everyone. Despite his initial worries about Piggy securing an appropriate band, The Electric Mayhem had been a huge hit. Old rock was considered a new sound again, and the young people seemed suitably awed by the rock legends.
    Nancy leaned in and grabbed his arm, squeezing it tightly. “You’re the man, Robin,” she teased.
    “But I’m a frog,” Robin returned saucily.
    Nancy just grinned at him. “Yes,” she said, doing a dead-on imitation Piggy. Then they both dissolved into giggles.

    “And then there was that soap commercial,” said a young man earnestly. He was gazing down at Piggy with a hopelessly smitten look on his face and fighting to hold his place in the circle of admirers.”
    “Oh, um, yes,” said Piggy, surprised. “Moi does commercials for Dove, too.”
    Another young man-one who had come in with Alvin and the football crowd tried to step forward and could not, held in place by the sheer bulk of adolescent muscle ringing, enthralled, around Piggy.
    “Um, have you ever—“ he began, but at that instant, a head appeared above the crowd, a head with two large impressive horns.
    “So sorry to bother you, Piggy,” said Billy Kidd in a low, pleasant rumble. “Louise needs some help in the kitchen.” He reached for Piggy’s satin-gloved hand and pulled her from their midst without anyone protesting—at least verbally. While Robin’s classmates looked on in varying states of disappointment and envy, Billy tucked Piggy’s hand under his arm and escorted her to the kitchen.
    “Thank you,” she said, exhaling. “Moi was feeling just a tad, um—“
    “Over-idolized?” Bill supplied dryly. Piggy just blinked at him.
    “Not at all,” she said archly. “I was feeling at tad…short in that crowd.”
    “Well, you looked like you could use rescuing,” Billy said. “Besides, Louise wants to talk to you.”
    “In the kitchen?” Piggy asked, but Billy just laughed.
    “You and Louise in the kitchen?” he said. “Not likely!”

    The band was back on after a short break. They’d gotten snacks, drinks and taken Animal for a walk around the block. With a short, “And-uh one, and-oh two and-uh one-two-three-four” Janice flayed the strings of her guitar and the band launched full-out into “Surfin’ USA.” It was like the starting bell at the Kentucky Derby. Young people ran, jumped and scrambled into the Olympic-sized pool or surged onto the patio, bopping and boogieing for all they were worth. There is nothing that energizes a pool party like something by America’s Band, the Beach Boys. The house almost cleared out, but the back-yard was gloriously full.
    They danced with partners, in rows, in groups and clumps, jumping and gyrating to the driving beat. Robin found himself sandwiched between Nancy and Keri on one side and the chess club on the other side. The chess club--! Robin did a double take. Sheesh! Was there anyone he knew who wasn’t at this party?
    The simple answer was yes, but these things are rarely simple.

    Kermit’s cab had some difficulty depositing him on the curb because of all the parked cars. The entire house seemed ablaze with light. As the taxi crept along the lane, Kermit stared at it for a long moment, wondering if his week of roughing it had simply made him forget the luxurious look of his own abode, but the closer he got to the door, the louder it seemed to get.
    Noise was spilling out of his backyard, and it was doing so with less impediment than usual because the back gates were wide open. Kermit listened to the sound for a moment, puzzled. “What the hey?” he murmured. That sounded like The Electric Mayhem. There was a frenzied drum solo, and Kermit’s suspicions were confirmed. What on earth was the Mayhem doing in his back yard? He had a sudden, piercing fear. Piggy loved surprise parties and he hoped she hadn’t planned something social for him when all he wanted was to fall into the quilted softness of his bed. Well—maybe not all he wanted, but definitely at some point in the near future.
    But, Kermit’s mind prompted, that doesn’t make any sense. Piggy thinks I’m out of town until-- Kermit stopped where he was in the driveway and thought about that, his froggy brow puzzling and his hands on his hips. Piggy thought he was out of town! So what the heck was going on at his house? Whose cars were those on the curb? And who were all those shapes making shadows against the back fence? And why hadn’t Piggy or Robin—oh! Oh oh! Piggy must be out, and Robin was having some sort of wild, undisciplined bash without any parental influence whatsoever! Kermit felt his blood pressure surge.
    When he found out what was going on, there would be one less frog in the world with computer privileges! he thought. And where the heck was Piggy, while his nephew was having some sort of debauched party without adult supervision? Well, he was going to march right in there and give them a piece of his mind!
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  14. The Count Moderator

    Yay! Look out short 'n' green, the frogman cometh...

    Girl bunny with Roger from the football team, I wonder if that's on porpoise. :fishy:
    Ha, I'd almost forgotten that commercial.
    Hmm, Louise wanting to talk to Piggy, does that bode well or ill. :shifty:
    And Kermit finally arriveth. "One less frog with computer privileges.", classic.

    Thank you. :sing:
  15. Katzi428 Well-Known Member

    Right now all I can see in the future of this story is Kermit's arms going every which way as he yells at Piggy and/or Robin.(Picture the scene on The Muppet Show where he fires Miss Piggy) And all the poor frog (Kermit) wants is some peace & quiet!
  16. newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    -----------------------------------------------
    *Newsie on floor chortling so hard tears are starting*

    Glad he WANTS a "houseful of kids"! And doubly glad Piggy is THERE...I lived at a house in college for one semester when a small party spread, word-of-mouth, in the same fashion...but with MUCH worse behavior and resultant fallout. (Cops were called. I roped my door shut from inside.) This is HYSTERICALLY funny...can't wait for the big blowup!
    ----------------------------------------------------
  17. Ruahnna Well-Known Member


    Chapter 9

    “I understand this is called ‘committing dancicide,’” said Louise Kidd. Piggy gave a snort and shook her head.
    “Were we this…undisciplined?” Piggy asked. This time, Billy snorted, and Louise smacked him in his bulging bicep.
    “Not undisciplined,” said Louise thoughtfully, smiling at some memory. “I prefer to think of it as exuberant.”
    “Merci,” said Piggy. “Bien point de vue.”
    Louise grinned. Like Nancy, Louise had a wonderful, wicked grin, and she sighed and watched her daughter do the swim.
    “What’s the head count now?” Billy asked.
    “I think we’re running about 150-160 now, but I think that’s going to be it.”
    “Good thing you had the caterer on standby,” said Louise. She leaned against her husband much the way Nancy had done the other day and the big ram put his arms around wife and kissed the top of her head fondly, his eyes on the sea of dancing children.
    Piggy smiled, feeling a sudden, swift pang of very specific loneliness. Kermit would come home tomorrow and she could hardly wait. She would have his favorites in the fridge, a stack of fluffy towels next to the shower and their big, inviting bed turned down. She already had a big tin of candied gnats on his nightstand. Tomorrow, the frog hollow in her chest would be filled up, but she wished it could be filled up now. Piggy sighed, watching Robin cut a rug with a complete lack of self-consciousness. He spun Nancy under one arm, then Keri under the other one, both girls laughing with delight. When the music changed, some of the kids broke formation, going back into the kitchen or throwing themselves down on the grass in front of the band. Others simply fell, jumped or were pushed into the pool.
    Robin and Nancy broke away from the group and came over to where their parental units were standing, laughing at each other and grinning like bandits. They smelled like chlorine and perspiration and…youth, Piggy decided, remembering so, so much….
    Nancy came up and smiled at Piggy. “Thank you so much for the amazing party, Mrs. The Frog,” she said. “Everything is just…perfect.” As before, her eyes strayed over to Robin, and there was something in that look that Piggy knew oh-so-well.
    Robin was more theatrical. He took Piggy’s hand, dropped to one knee and kissed her enormous engagement ring. “You are the best—the absolute best—at giving parties and I am indebted to you for the rest of my life.”
    “Sounds about right,” said Billy Kidd, his mouth quirking up at the corners.
    “What a nice boy!” Louise gushed. “Nancy—you said he was cute! You didn’t say he was so pleasant!”
    It was hard to say who was blushing—or laughing—more.
    “Robin, get up—“ Piggy growled in mock irritation. “I swear, every day you get more like your—“
    “Uncle Kermit!” Robin fell backwards, sprawling on his backside. His eyes were as wide as Piggy had ever seen them.
    “Exactly,” she said. “You get more like him every day of the—“
    Robin’s frantic gesturing finally communicated itself to Piggy, who turned and looked over her shoulder. She very nearly joined her nephew on the ground, flummoxed with astonishment.
    “K-Kermit! Oh! Sweetie!” She stepped forward to embrace him but he held up one slim hand and Piggy subsided. It might be noted that that particular Sesame Street skill had never worked before at this particular address, and it was a testament to the unusualness of the circumstances that it worked now.
    Kermit opened his mouth to speak and clamped it firmly shut. Piggy and Robin goggled at him, recognizing that they were about two frog hairs away from arm-waving, order-shouting meltdown and the mere thought of being so close to that precipice froze them in their tracks. They waited breathlessly for Kermit to unclench his jaw, take a deep breath and—finally—speak through a gritted hard palate.
    “Number 1,” he said. “Who are all these….” He struggled for an appropriate word, and finally settled for persons. “Persons. Who are all these persons?”
    Robin plunged in, scrambling to his feet. “Um this is the group from soccer camp,” he said, and knew the minute it was out of his mouth that Kermit wasn’t buying it. “And—and some other kids from my school who, um, came too.” Robin was ready to plunge in again but Kermit put his hand up and the young frog clamped his lips shut.
    Kermit turned to Piggy, who was wide-eyed with shock if not innocence. “Number 2: Did you plan this?”
    “Well, yes, Mon Capitan—“
    The hand went up and she stopped short. Louise and Billy were staring in horrified fascination. They had known the The Frogs for years and had never seen this degree of…obedience--from anyone who had ever worked for Kermit.
    Kermit turned back to Robin. “Number 3: Did you tell me about this?” he asked, and before Robin could answer, Kermit swung back around to Piggy. “Did you mention this when we talked, because I think I would have remembered it.”
    “We didn’t know the gym—“
    “I didn’t think it was important because you weren’t—“
    The spoke at once, then broke off, exchanging worried glances.
    “Because you weren’t home, Kermie,” Piggy finished. Piggy tried to convey with her oh-so-blue eyes how much she had missed him, but her best shots were merely glancing off Kermit’s currently impenetrable hull.
    “Does this kind of thing usually go on when I’m gone?” Kermit said, eyes narrowed dangerously.
    “No!”
    “Of course not, Sweet—”
    “Number 5: Who hired the Mayhem?”
    Piggy opened her mouth, but Robin spoke first. “That—that was my idea, Uncle Kermit. I thought my friends would get a kick out of a genuine rock band.”
    While Piggy disapproved of lying, she was proud of Robin for trying to protect her from Kermit’s ire. Whether it worked or not, Piggy was pretty sure there was enough ire for them both to drown anyway, so she did not contradict her nephew.
    There was a long, long moment when it could have gone either way, then Kermit seemed to notice the cute little nanny goat all but hiding behind Robin’s back. Her eyes were wide and…very lovely. Something about the way she was clutching Robin’s arm, which was thrust back protectively as though to shield her from harm, caught Kermit up short. He looked at Piggy, who looked back at him, and he saw…well, almost everything he’d ever wanted to see on her face. He looked back at Robin and saw a lot to be proud of. He did not dare look out at his backyard, which currently looked like a cross between a disco and a fairground, and he heaved a deep, steadying breath and exhaled slowly.
    “Okay,” he said, thinking hard. “Well, I’m back early. I have no luggage, no wallet and no phone. Piggy—can you go pay the taxi?”
    “Of course, Mon Capita—“
    “Allow me,” said Billy, and Kermit looked up and registered his old friend for the first time.
    “Billy—Billy Kidd? What on earth—oh. Oh!”
    Billy slipped away, heading toward the curb, but Louise Kidd came over and gave Kermit a warm hug.
    “Hey there, short, green and aggravated,” she teased. “Looks like you crashed the party at your own house.”
    “Oh, um, hi Louise. I, um, guess so,” said Kermit, patting her awkwardly on the back. Kermit was actually pretty hug-friendly, but he was carrying such bad karma that it took him a moment to return the embrace. Then Louise was turning, but before she could do the honors, Robin stepped forward and looked at his uncle, bulbous eye to bulbous eye.
    “Uncle Kermit,” Robin said formally. “I’d like you to meet Nancy Kidd. Her parents are William and Louise Kidd, whom I think you and Aunt Piggy know.”
    Sheesh! The kid could give Miss Manners lessons. Kermit smiled and held out his hand. Cautiously, Nancy put her hand in Kermit’s and smiled.
    “Hello, Mr. The Frog,” she said politely. “It was so nice of you and Mrs. The Frog to have our soccer camp and all of our, um, friends over.”
    Robin was giving Kermit a look of almost desperate entreaty, a look Kermit knew well—and sympathized with.
    “It is lovely to meet you, Miss Kidd,” said Kermit. “Welcome to our home. I’m afraid my entrance left something to be desired.”
    “Not really,” said Piggy, and reached out to him. This time he let her hug him, hug him and hold him and give him one hasty but very well-strategized smooch on his froggy lips. Kermit took it as a deposit on payment in full later and smiled at her worried expression.
    “I’m going to go up and change into something party appropriate,” Kermit said. He looked at Piggy and finally asked. “Are there any…persons on the second floor?”
    “None,” said Piggy. “I had it roped off and I have staff from the caterers keeping an eye on things. No one will bother you, Sweetie.”
    “Until I get down,” he muttered, but he was smiling when he walked away.

    “You’re Uncle Kermit is sortof scary,” said Nancy, clutching Robin’s arm. Robin most certainly did not mind.
    “Hey—we’re carnivores—top of the food chain,” said Robin, then grinned. “Yeah, Uncle Kermit can be a little scary sometimes, but he’s…he really is amazing. I mean, I’m probably going to buried in a hole after everyone goes home, but he didn’t pop a gasket in front of everybody.” He grimaced. “Look, Nancy—I am probably going to get grounded until I’m too old to play soccer. I don’t think you should count on me getting to come on vacation and go to camp.” He looked miserable, but it was a noble sort of misery and Nancy admired him for it.
    “Maybe your Aunt Piggy will go to bat for you,” said Nancy hopefully. At this, Robin actually grinned.
    “Don’t bet on it. I may be in a huge hole, but I’m probably standing on her shoulders!” He caught her hand and headed to the pool. “C’mon—let’s enjoy the party while we can.”
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  18. Java Active Member

    Now that I'm caught up - with the phone I just assumed he had dropped it in his bag after having it at the counter for the mix up.

    This is wonderful! Loving the party!
  19. Katzi428 Well-Known Member

    Phew!I expected Kermit to go all crazy & everything!(Unless he's saving that until after everyone leaves? MAD KERMIT ALERT!..I think.:eek:)
  20. Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    (Whispering) Kathy--good instincts!

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