Fan Fiction: Cold Openings for Season 1

[Dil]

There could've been Cold Openings for the 1st Season of The Muppet Show.

Here's one of them:

SCOOTER: "Harvey Korman! Harvey Korman! 15 seconds to curtain, Mr. Korman!"

(Harvey is angry, because he is locked in a cage, and wanted to get out of the theater.)

HARVEY: "GET ME OUT OF HEEERRE!!"

(Smoke comes out of the top of Harvey's head like a choo-choo train.)

SCOOTER: "No use, Mr. Korman. You can't leave until the show ends."

(As Scooter leaves, Harvey bangs angirly on the bars.)

HARVEY: "This is worst show in my whole life. I WILL NOT... SIIIING!!"

(Smoke comes out of the top of Harvey's head like the last time.)

Could you post some more mock-cold openings?

 

[MartyMuppets]

well I suppose that if Scooter had knocked on the door and said "30 seconds to curtain Mummenschanz" we could have seen another very brief sample of their remarkable performance and Scooter could have said "Okay I'll pass your message on to Kermit. I only hope he understands the meaning of your sign language."

 

[Dil]

Here's another one!:

SCOOTER: "Uh, Paul Williams? 20 seconds to curtain, Mr. Williams."

PAUL: "Thank you, Scooter. I'll be there as soon as I finish talking to my agent on the telephone."

SCOOTER: "Then I'll give you 40 seconds more."

PAUL: (talking on the telephon) "Uh, listen, Fred, can I give a moment to talk to you?"

 

[minor muppetz]

Here's another one!:

SCOOTER: "Uh, Paul Williams? 20 seconds to curtain, Mr. Williams."

PAUL: "Thank you, Scooter. I'll be there as soon as I finish talking to my agent on the telephone."

SCOOTER: "Then I'll give you 40 seconds more."

PAUL: (talking on the telephon) "Uh, listen, Fred, can I give a moment to talk to you?"

Was this script implying that Paul Wiliams wanted to get out of being on the show? Because later in the episode, he he said that when he was asked to be the guest star he was excited becasue he (thought he) got to be the tallest person on the show.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

That's really cute! I would have loved having cold openings for Season One!

 

[minor muppetz]

I wonder how a cold opening would work for the Jim Nabors episode? After all, Scooter was hired in that episode, but not untill after the opening.

 

[MartyMuppets]

Was this script implying that Paul Wiliams wanted to get out of being on the show? Because later in the episode, he he said that when he was asked to be the guest star he was excited becasue he (thought he) got to be the tallest person on the show.

Actually Dil I've been meaning to ask you about this script myself because I don't really understand what the gag of it is supposed to be

 

[Dil]

Here's a cold opening for the Jim Nabors episode:

(A paper falls from the ceiling and on Jim's hands.)

JIM: "Let's see, 15 seconds to curtain. Hmm, I wonder who sent it here?"

And here's a cold opening for the Twiggy episode:

SCOOTER: "Twiggy! Oh, Twiggy? 5 seconds to curtain, Twiggy!"

TWIGGY: "Oh, then I must go... immediatly!"

SCOOTER: "Alright, time for curtain!"

(Twiggy and Scooter leaves the dressing room, which in the end, we don't see anyone in the dressing room.)

 

[MartyMuppets]

No offence intended Dil but while your first example for Harvey Korman was very excellent I find your Jim Nabors and Twiggy jokes to be a bit weak especially Twiggy.
And you still haven't explained to minor and myself what the punchline of your Paul Williams gag is exactly

Anyway I was thinking of a Twiggy cold opening myself so how does this sound to you?

Scooter: 25 seconds to curtain Twiggy.
Twiggy: Thank you Scooter. You know I'm so very pleased to be here.

And while she is talking Uncle Deadley opens the dressing cupboard door behind her and peers out. Scooter is aghast and Twiggy says What's the matter?

Scooter motions behind her but Deadley has closed the door before she turns around.

Twiggy: What are you going on about Scooter?
Scooter: Oh never mind. I hardly believe it myself.

Twiggy is amazed and gives an incredulous look at the camera.

 

[Dil]

Here's one for the Valerie Harper episode:

SCOOTER: "Valerie Harper, 15 seconds... uh, Miss Harper."

(Scooter notices an empty dressing room.)

SCOOTER: "Wasn't she there a minute ago? I thought she was here... perhaps I could be wrong. Maybe she left for a while to a herd of elephants because she thinks they forgot to pack their trunks to the theater my uncle owns."