Hello my fellow Fandom! Yeah, it's been a while, like three years. Anyway, I have had this idea stewing in my mind for a while and when I saw the trailer for ABC's new Muppet Show it got me thinking and this child of imagination sprung forth from my brain. It's an office AU, but not the same as will be seen on television. Anyways, I'm really excited for this one and I hope you'll enjoy it. Updates will be made on average, about weekly on Sundays. Review, comment, and give any critiques if you feel it. Onwards! -Figgie Chapter one: Piggy crossed her legs, uncrossed them, smoothed the nonexistent creases from her skirt, and crossed her legs again. She was absolutely not nervous. Feigning a nonchalant glance to the wall mirror on her right and appraised her appearance for what had to be the hundredth time. She was stunning, and only a fool would not have seen it. Her honey curls fanned over her shoulders in perfect waves, framing her large, baby-doll violet eyes which demurely sat upon rosy cheeks and a curved snout. Piggy preened a little and smiled, the other ladies didn't stand a chance. At least, they wouldn't if there had been any other applicants there. "Bagock-bock?" Startled, Piggy snapped her attention back to, Carmella, was it? "Oh! Bonjour! Moi et Miss Piggy and I am here for a Monsieur the Frog?" She replied, lifting her chin in a not-so-subtle pose. Camilla, (she'd seen the name tag) huffed as if saying, I know. Please stop embarrassing yourself. The white chicken blinked at Piggy and motioned with her wings to follow, at least that's what it looked like she was doing. It could be molting season for all Piggy knew. Camilla continued to chatter, and occasionally peck, as they walked, though she stopped once she realized Piggy had no idea what she was saying. There wasn't much sound after that, instead filling the silence with the constant of Piggy's heals and the occasional ruffling of feathers. Noticing with no small amount of approval the fine tile lining and mahogany walls, Miss Piggy was impressed and, Heaven Forbid, slightly intimidated though she'd never show it. She instead distracted herself with the portraits, some covered by sheets, others shining with furnished brass and slick oils. She shifted her portfolio closer and nearly bumped into Camilla when she suddenly stopped. "A little warning would be nice next time." Piggy grumbled under her breath. Camilla either chose to ignore her or hadn't heard, instead opening a large door with Kermit the Frog - Director written in gold lettering. "Babock." Camilla said pleasantly before walking out and closing the office door behind her. Besides Piggy, no one else was in the office. "Well that's just rude." Piggy rolled her eyes and set her portfolio down. "Moi knows directors are busy but one likes to think they'd appreciate punctuality." She picked up a small photo from the desk looking at an odd bearded man and, whom she assumed to be, Kermit smiling at the camera. "Oh, we directors certainly appreciate punctuality, but we also have a deep love for patience." Piggy started and dropped the photo from her hands, watching with growing dismay as the glass shattered on impact to the floor. "Oh no!" Piggy moaned and was instantly on her knees picking up glass, apologizing profusely. "I'm so sorry, Mr. the Frog, it was an accident." She felt her eyes burn with embarrassment until she felt a hand carefully lift hers from the sharp mess. "Careful, wouldn't want you to cut yourself." Piggy looked up and felt the world stop. Kermit sat kneeling in front of her smiling charmingly and with eyes that seemed to glow. "Oh...vous is even better looking in real life." Piggy murmured dreamily. Kermit's eyes widened in surprise, a considerable feet for the fact he had no eyelids, and let out a small chuckle, his cheeks growing red with embarrassment. "Ah gee, thanks Ma'am, but I don't think the picture is that bad. I personally like it." He picked up the photo and turned it over in one hand reading the handwriting on the back in distant silence. Piggy shook herself awake and blushed at what she said and the fact he was still holding her hand. "Ahm, Moi is truly sorry about the accident." She murmured. "Mmh?" Kermit's head snapped up and his eyes refocused on her, "Oh don't worry, the picture is completely fine and frames can always be replaced." He stood and helped Piggy to her feet, finally releasing her gloved hand, much to Piggy's dismay. "Now, how may I help you, Miss...?" Kermit asked as he sat down across from her. "Oh! Moi et Miss Piggy," Kermit's hand shifted to his chin where she noticed a smile tugging at his lips. She growled "It's original I know, and I was hoping to be of service for you. I have a portfolio." She shifted the navy folder over to his flippers. Kermit gratefully accepted her offering and thumbed through the pages, humming and nodding continually and sometimes smiling. Piggy thought her heart would burst (or maybe that was her lunch?) if didn't say something soon. "Well?" She squeaked, clearing her throat she tried again, "What are your thoughts?" Kermit looked at her once more, this time more appraising. "Well, Miss Piggy it's clear you're a beautiful wopig and have had many experiences in this field of work, for that you have my compliments," Piggy felt her heart drop and heard the 'but' before it left his lips, "However, I do not have any parts for someone of your...shall we say stature or, or expertise, "he hurried on when she glared at the "stature" comment, "but, if you'd be willing, I'm in need of a personal assistant." Piggy's mouth fell open at his statement. "My previous assistant, Camilla, you met her I believe, well she's uh, taking a more or less permanent leave seeing as she's going to become a parent quite soon and wants to be home with her chi-!" Kermit was cut off suddenly by Piggy flinging herself into his arms and squealing very undignifiedly. "Oh! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Kermit blushed again and awkwardly held her. "You're uh, welcome." Piggy sat back on his desk and allowed him to breathe. "Oh, shouldn't she be at home eggsitting then?" Piggy asked curiously. "Oh, her husband is doing for that for her, he doesn't mind." Kermit waved her concerns away and handed back her portfolio. "Her husband?" Piggy asked. "Yes, his name's Gonzo, you'll meet him soon. And no he's not a rooster. He's more of a...of a whatever, you could say." Kermit nodded resolutely. "I see." She really didn't. "So, would you be interested in the job? We pay well I can assure you, and I sure could use the help." Kermit smiled lopsidedly, and laughed at some sort of private joke, "I guarantee you've never quite worked with someone like us Muppets, Miss Piggy. We're not normal, but we're a family, and we look out for each other." He looked at her seriously, "And that's what I'm offering you and expecting you to do the same. Think you can handle that?" The sincere gaze in his look and his soft smile combined, Piggy new she was a goner. Flicking her curls over one shoulder, Piggy tilted her head and gave him her best simmering gaze, her lips quirked saucily and she leaned forward, pressing her hands on the desk. "Moi guarantees vous has never met someone like moi, because I'm not normal either. Consider everything handled well." Kermit fingered his neck collar nervously, and swallowed rather loudly, much to his chagrin. "Well, uh, thank you Miss Piggy, that's very...comforting." Miss Piggy stood and turned, walking to the door before turning back one last time, "Oh and Mr. the Frog? Call me Piggy." She winked and flounced her way out of his office, sliding the door shut after. Kermit heaved a large sigh and ran one green flipper down his face. He was the director, shouldn't he be in control? This was ridiculous, however... Kermit leaned against his office door, quietly watching the new addition to his office. He swallowed thickly, knowing he shouldn't be behaving like this, but still allowed his eyes to trail up her magnificently shaped calves, the wide curve of her hips, small waist and finally her luscious hair completing her like a cherry on top. "You're still beautiful, Piggy." He sighed wistfully, softly, "Just like high school." He felt butterflies in his stomach, and knew for sure they weren't from his lunch, he shouldn't feel so nervous, this was a hardly like his school boy fancy. Those days were long gone. He grinned when she started complaining about his tardiness, in his defense however, stopping the Swedish Chef from cooking Camilla's chicken friends did specify as important. He had expected to startle her when he replied, he did not anticipate the broken portrait. "Just as beautiful, still as clumsy." Kermit sighed internally. He had liked that picture frame. Holding both her hand and the picture, Kermit read the messily scrawled writing on the back: It's never an ending, only a very good beginning. Love, Jim Throughout their meeting, Kermit felt a twist of relief and bitterness that Piggy didn't remember him, not that it really proved anything. It still stung though, so it was with insane pride and a small amount of guilt when he didn't offer her the acting part. It wasn't necessarily a lie about needing an assistant, however, he could have pulled a few strings and hired her as an actress. Sadly, Kermit was selfish to a default and wanted Piggy for a lot longer than a film project. When she'd suddenly hugged him, Kermit wished he could've held on forever, and gone back in time to his sixteen year old self and say, 'yes, it get's better.' However, a hug in the present was fine too, especially when she smelled of cinnamon and Chanel 5. "Only a very good beginning, eh partner?" Kermit asked the photo. He opened the drawer to his left and pulled out a very old, well loved school yearbook. Resting his flippers on the desk, Kermit thumbed through until he reached senior class of '76 and found that year's theatre department pictures. Piggy sat front and center as the department's star, the epitome of Diva-hood and beauty, and on the far left Kermit stood awkwardly, warts and all, as the stage manager. Maybe it was a good thing she didn't remember him, the way she'd acted towards him had been like a dream. Kermit didn't want to be invisible like he'd always been before, but eighteen years changed things, changed him. A little truth scuffed under the rug couldn't possibly be bad. He looked out over the bustling city of Los Angeles. "Well, I hope so. I really do."