1. Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
    You are viewing our forum as a guest. Join our free community to post topics and start private conversations. Please contact us if you need help with registration or your account login.

  2. Sesame Street Season 49
    Sesame Street's 49th season officially began Saturday November 17 on HBO. After you see the new episodes, post here and let us know your thoughts.

I’m Near! I’m Far!

Discussion in 'Classic Sesame Street' started by Mary Louise, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. Mary Louise

    Mary Louise Well-Known Member

    Just thought I’d post a transcription of this little animated bit I remember from years ago. Corrections are welcome. Oh, and as I recall, the announcer is female.

    Announcer: The Sesame Street Vaudeville Theater takes pride in presenting “Near and Far”!

    [Standing on the stage are two men. Upstage is a tall guy, and downstage is a short one.]


    Short guy: I’m near!

    Tall guy: I’m far!

    Both: That’s where [who?] we are!
    If you want to know just where [who?] we are...

    Short guy: I’m near...

    Tall guy: ...and I’m far!


    Tall guy: Wait a minute! Stop the music! Stop the music!

    Short guy: What’s wrong?

    Tall guy: What’s wrong? What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong! You’re always near, and I’m always far.

    Short guy: So?

    Tall guy: So, they can see you better because you’re near.

    [He starts walking downstage, toward the short guy.]

    Tall guy: Because you’re near, they can hear you better. Because you’re near, you get all the applause!

    Short guy: Okay! You be near, and I’ll be far. [Runs upstage.] Are you happy now?

    Tall guy: Now, that’s better!

    Announcer: And now the Sesame Street Vaudeville Theater takes pride in presenting “Wet and Dry”!

    [Tall guy smiles and waves at the audience. Water dumps on him. The audience roars with laughter.]

Share This Page