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MC Dorms: Sorry, We're Closed Take 2

Discussion in 'Games' started by The Count, May 19, 2009.

  1. Winslow Leach Active Member

    Lefty walks out of his closet, dressed in his usual attire.

    Lefty: Now. Where was I?

    Tony: You were...talking about the Super Bowl...

    Lefty: Oh yeah. I got two hunnerd clams down fer both teams. I can't lose!

    Tony: :confused:

    Lefty: Plus I gotta lotta odder bets from mooks, rangin' from five bucks ta...(takes scraps of paper out of pockets)...heh! Some loser put down a tousand! I'd hate ta be dat schmuck! Heh heh heh! (quadruple take) Gah! It's from Benny!

    RF: Who?

    Lefty: My boss, Arnold! He's bettin' on da Colts...wit a final score of...(gasps)...I'm finished!

    Tony takes the paper from Lefty.

    Tony: Well, that's not too bad...

    Lefty: Ya ever hear 'a Sammy da Scum?

    Tony: ...no...:confused:

    Lefty: Sammy da Scum took Benny's bet last year. Benny's team--da Cardinals--lost. Da next day, Sammy da Scum vanished. To dis day we don't ka-no what happened ta him...one rumor is he skipped town an' is currently singin' backup fer Elvis...anudder rumor is he's restin' in pieces unner da goalpost at Ray Jay Stadium!

    Mr. Turtle: Huh?

    Lefty: Where dey had da game last year, fish food fer brains! I gotta skip town.


    Tony: Well, suppose the Colts win?

    Lefty: Benny never wins, Tommy! He never wins! He always says a magical leprechaun whispers da final score 'a da game in his ear da night before, an' dat's what he goes by! If I don't get outta ere, I'm gonna be toikey food!

    RF: So long! =P

    Lefty hurries to his closet, and rapidly begins stuffing his possessions into a stolen suitcase.
  2. The Count Moderator

    Well... Indy's winning 10-6 and it's now time for the halftime concert... *Famous last words.
  3. Winslow Leach Active Member

    Tony and co. watch the game; RF and Mr. Turtle throw buffalo wings, potato chips and other foodstuffs at each other; Lefty, suitcase in hand, pauses to watch the action, sweating bullets. RF dumps a Big Gulp over his head; Lefty doesn't blink, his gaze fixated on the screen.

    Floyd escapes to the common room, practicing his new piece.
  4. RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Rizzo (waves foam hand that's as big as him)

    Turbo (stares at goalposts): Dose are some BIIIIIIG Doozah sticks.

    Me (humming to herself, playing on the computer)

    Oscar: Ain't ya watchin' da game?

    Me: Me? Heck, no. I don't do sports. I'm sure my brother is pulling for New Orleans, though. He wants to move to the French Quarter some day.
  5. The Count Moderator

    Woo! N'Orlans now up 13-10 with Colts driving in the 3rd QTR.
  6. Winslow Leach Active Member

    RF scurries around.

    RF: Butt scratcha? Butt scratcha? Butt scratcha?

    Mr. Turtle: Please stop. I'm trying to finish the Times crossword...

    RF: Butt scratcha? Butt scratcha? Butt scratcha? Get yer butt scratcha! =D

    Mr. Turtle: I'm serious, boy. I was able to drown out the noise from that blasted idiot box, but you're using up my last nerve...

    RF: Butt scratcha? Butt scratcha? Need a butt scratcha? Hee!

    Mr. Turtle: BOY...!

    RF: Butt scratcha! Butt scra--

    Mr. Turtle whips out his cane and tries to whack RF; RF easily dodges it and thumbs his nose at Mr. Turtle.

    RF: Wheee! Butt scratcha? =P
  7. The Count Moderator

    Aargh... Stupid Saints, why take a risk like the 2-point conversion? ! ? Fail.
    Norlans still winning by 5 though.

    *Tunes back in. Oh, they're challenging the play. Let's see wha happas.
    Hahahahahahaha! Hit overturned! Saints 24-17!
  8. RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Me (watches RF torture Mr. Turtle): And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't teach anymore.
  9. The Count Moderator

    And now it's the Saints up by two touchdowns with two minutes to go.
  10. The Count Moderator

    WHOOOO DAAAAT! Saints win and it's Mardi Gras in Miami a week ahead of schedule.

    Ding-dong the Lefty's dead.
    Which ol' Lefty.
    The sneak-thief Lefty.
    Ding-dong the sneaky Lefty's dead.
    He's gone, he's gone you know.
    Down where the goblins go.
    But they wouldn't have him, no.
    So they tossed him back out.
    Ding-dong the sneaky Lefty's dead.
  11. RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Me (sighs): Bro will live on this for weeks. Thanks for the heads up, Ed.
  12. Winslow Leach Active Member

    RF: Butt scratcha? (holds up butt scratcher, makes a cute face, batting eyelashes)
  13. RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Me (smirks): Sorry, RF ... my canine kiddies are cuter. :p
  14. Winslow Leach Active Member

    RF: Huwhuh? Whuh...?

    RF's eyes fill with tears and he begins bawling.

    WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH ! !

    :__________:
  15. Winslow Leach Active Member

    Loud pounding on door.

    Pause.

    More pounding.

    From Lefty's closet comes a tiny, frail voice.

    Voice: ...who is it...?

    Voice #2 (outside) GOONS!

    Voice: ...eh...?

    Voice #2: GOONS!

    Voice: You'll have ta speak up, sonny...

    Voice #2: GOONS!

    Voice: ...spoons...? I'm sorry...we don't want no spoons, but tank you very much...

    The door bursts open.

    Four extremely tall, extremely wide whatnots are waiting; they are only visible from the waist down.

    Goon: Where's Lefty?

    Voice (in closet) ...eh...?

    Goon: LEFTY!

    Voice: Eh...?

    Goon: LEFTY!

    A small elderly woman emerges from closet; she his gray hair tied into a severe bun and wears wire-rimmed glasses, a faded print dress, baggy stockings and black orthopedic shoes; she uses a cane.

    Old Woman: I'm sorry young feller, dere ain't no Swifty ere...

    Goon: Cut the crap, Lefty. Your cheap disguises won't save you this time! (picks up old woman by the neck) C'mon, ya lousy crum bum! Ya got a date with Benny down at the docks!

    The goons exit, the lead man carrying the old woman by the throat like a limp ragdoll.

    Pause.

    Tony comes out of his room.

    Tony: Hm. Thought I heard something...(walks by Lefty's closet) Lefty? You hear anything? Lefty? Lefty?

    Lefty's head sloooooooowly rises from beneath the covers on his hammock.

    Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! !

    Tony: Was someone just here?

    Lefty: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

    Tony: Who?

    Lefty: Da goons!

    Tony: Goons? :confused:

    Lefty: Dey wanted ta take me down ta see Benny...

    Tony: Oh. Because of the game!

    Lefty: R-r-r-iiiiiiiiight...

    Tony: How did you scare them away?

    Lefty: I didn't.

    Tony: Well...they're gone, aren't they?

    Lefty: Yeah...dere gone all right...

    Tony: Well?

    Lefty: Dey took my great-granmudder!

    Tony: Huh?

    Lefty: My great-grandmudder Esther stopped by dis mornin'. She wanted ta visit, on accounta I'm her fave-orite...she brought me some homemade chicken soup fer lunch...an' I made her answer da door while I cowered unner dese blankets!


    Tony: You're despicable, you know that?

    Lefty: Heh heh. Kin youse say dat again, only dis time like Daffy Duck? =P

    Tony: You have no shame!

    Lefty: Meh. I was able ta save my whatcha call hide fer anudder day...er at least dey find out it ain't really me!

    Tony rushes to door.

    Lefty: Where are youse goin'?

    Tony: To save your great-grandmother before it's too late.

    Lefty: Whachee...? ! You ain't gonna rat me out, are ya? !

    Tony: I'm tempted to...I am so tempted to!

    Tony runs out of room, slamming the door.

    Lefty: Mookasaurus...

    The nogoodnik puts his head under the covers again, trembling.
  16. RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Rizzo (heard RF bawling last night): You really are a hard-hearted witch, ya know.

    Me (smiles)

    Rizzo: Don't it hit ya right dere ta make a kid cry?

    Oscar (wakes up, grinning): Why should it? I always try ta fit in dat kinda thing on my daily things-ta-do list.

    Rizzo (sighs, shaking his head): Youse guys are positively heartless.

    Me: I'll make it up to him. I just had to have some fun, Rizzo. *sends RF Star Wars: Force Unleashed with a note -- To my dear little Sith Lord -- go bring down the empire, you cute little Sith you*
  17. RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Me (dressed as 60s Batgirl): My life is one step closer to completion.

    Turbo: Oh yeah? Why?

    Me (fangirl squeals): I have Adam West as a friend on Facebook! It was mega-awesome when I friended Gordon from Sesame Street, but this guy is one of the coolest dudes ever!

    Oscar (staring dryly at Kelly): At least she didn't use some stupid "holy whatever" joke.

    Rizzo (flipping through a magazine): Give 'er time. Dere's still plenty o' hours left in da day.
  18. The Count Moderator

    *Me, Is floored by Kell's new look.

    Count: Vell, at least she didn't go with the cat-suit.
    UD: Or the Jeanie outfit.
    Count: That'd've killed him for sure.
    UD: How do you know he's not dead now?
    Count: Your boss hasn't sent you a GR-IM has he?
    UD: No... Not yet...

    *Me, soft squeee, still knocked out.
  19. RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Me (laughs, trying to wake Ed up by waving a paper fan in front of his face)
  20. The Count Moderator

    *Still out of it. Gimme 5 more minutes...

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