Minor Muppetz' TMS outline: Dan Akroyd

[minor muppetz]

Here is my fourth Muppet Show outline, set in season four and featuring special guest star Dan Akroyd. Enjoy!

Cold Opening/ Dressing Room/ Backstage/ etc.
Scooter: oh, Dan Akroyd, fifteen seconds 'till curtain, mr.....uh... (notices that Dan Akroyd is not in his dressing room) Where is he?

(scooter leaves, goes backstage, encounters beauregard)

Scooter: Oh, beauregard, have you seen the guest star?

Beauregard: which one?

Scooter: which one?

Beauregard: you don't know either, huh?

Scooter: (annoyed) oh, never mind.

(Scooter runs to the canteen)

Scooter: hey, has anybody seen the guest star?

Fozzie bear: no.

Boppity: no.

Zoot: no.

The Swedish Chef: (speaks in swedish, acting like he knows where Dan Akroyd is, but nobody understands him)

(scooter runs outside and sees a hobo)

Scooter: hey, have you seen dan Akroyd?

Hobo: oh, yeah. he's on Saturday Night Live every week.

Scooter: yes, but do you know where he is?

Hobo: no, but if you hum a few bars I'll fake it.

(scooter runs backstage)

Scooter: (talking to himself) oh, I'll have to go tell kermit that I can't find... (ses dan Akroyd) oh, Dan Akroyd, five seconds to curtain. and where have you been anyway? I looked everywhere.

Dan Akroyd: did you check the bathroom?

Scooter: we have a bathroom?

Introduction
kermit says that tonights special guest is Dan Akroyd, who comes on stage asking to introduce the opening number.

Opening Number: I've Got You Babe
at a disco-fied version of the At The dance set, Floyd and Janice sing "I've Got You Babe".

Balcony
Statler: you know what's wrong with that number?
Waldorf: what?
Statler: uh.. well, the thing that's wrong is.. uh, oh no. I think i've run out of insults.
Waldorf: let me try, you old fool. what's wrong with that number is... oh, no I can't think of an insult either.

Backstage
Robin asks kermit to help him with his science experiment for the science fair. it's due tomorrow.

Act
Dan Akroyd plays a brick salesman, selling bricks to Lew Zeland (who put a fish between two bricks, looking like a sandwhich), marvin suggs (these woudl go along perfectly with the muppaphones), and Gonzo ("I wrestled one once). Then a muppet brick shows up and threatens to sue the salesman for selling his family.

Backstage
Kermit asks Bunsen and beaker to help Robin with his science project. Bunsen says that he needs to get ready for muppet labs (Beaker doesn't care about not being prepared for Muppet Labs though). Kermit cancles Muppet labs, and threatens to fire them if they don't help Robin.

At The Dance
Nigel dances with Zelda Rose, Rowlf dances with Janice, Droop dances with miss mousey, two rats dance, and Zoot dances with trumpet girl.

Janice: you know what?
Rowlf: what?
Janice: you dance like a dog.

Droop: you know what?
Miss Mousey: what?
Droop: you dance like a mouse.

rat #1: you know what?
rat #2: yes, i do know what.

U.K. Spot: Heigh Ho
Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, bobby benson and lew zeland sing the song from Snow White.

Pigs In Space
The swinetrek gets a visit from Beldar Conehead (played by Dan Akroyd), who is having trouble with his ship, but when dr. strangepork goes to help, he gets struck by amnesia rays.

Balcony
Statler: you know what's wrong with that skit?
Waldorf: I know! uh,uh, i don't know.
statler: ugh. we've got to think of some good insults.

Backstage
Bunsen perfects robins science project: a machine gun that shoots flowers. meanwhile, Fozzie has heard that statler and waldorf have run out of insults,
so he bravely goes on next.


Intoduction
kermit introduces Fozzie bear.

Fozzies act
Fozzie constantly cracks about Statler and Waldorf being unable to insult him, untill they decide to heckel him for making fun of the insult-impaired. they have some more isnults again!

Closing Number
Dan Akroyd sings "On the Road Again" while driving a car, with Miss Piggy in the passengers seat and Floyd, Janice and Zeke in the backseat (playing their instruments).

Good Night
Dan Akoryd comes on stage, but is heckled by statler and waldorf (Statler: "what kind of an acor has a name you can't pronounce?" Waldorf: "that one!"). Fozzie, Bunsen, Beaker, Robin, Zelda Rose, Uncle Dealdey and a heap show up on stage.

after credits
Waldorf: you know, theres one good thing about Dan Akroyd.
Statler: yeah, but only one.
(they laugh)

 

[TogetherAgain]

I LOVE IT!

I love Scooter's line- "We have a bathroom?" Statler and Waldor'f inability to insult is perfect! And Robin waiting until the last minute for his science project sounds like something I would do. I love how Kermit almost fires Bunsen and Beaker over it. And I love the brick-selling, and I LOVE At the Dance! It's great!

 

[minor muppetz]

If you are wondering who is supposed tio perform various characters without regular performers...

•The brick is performed by Richard Hunt, in a voice similar to the one he uses for Sweetums.

•the hobo is performed by Jim Henson, in avoice similar to the one he uses for the newsman.

•the rats in "at the dance" are performed by Dave Goelz. Rat #1 is supposed to sound like the koozebanian spooble, and the other one sounds like a feminine gonzo.

 

[minor muppetz]

I love Scooter's line- "We have a bathroom?"

This was partially inspired by some comments in the Muppet Theatre thread in the classic Muppets section, where people were wondering where the bathroom is. For those of you who don't like when the muppets resort to bathroom humor, this was really stupidity humor.

here are a few other lines that would have worked:

"bathroom? What bathroom?"

"I didn't think about having a bathroom. My uncle who owns this theatre never told me anything about a bathroom."

Also, that cold opening is longer than usual (if it is too long, then maybe the opening could be shortened: after Zoot blows his saxaphone, the scene could go straight to kermit saying, "it's time to get things started", and at the end of the opening, instead of Gonzo trying to blow his bugle, he could say, "shorter opening, huh?"). I also have a feeling that this cold opening lasted more than fifteen seconds (and the time between scooter going to the dressing room and finding Dan Akroyd would have probably been too long for Scooter to say "Five seconds 'till curtain), and probably should have been "Thirty seconds 'till curtain".

And Robin waiting until the last minute for his science project sounds like something I would do.

I was wondering whetehr this would be out of character for Robin or not. If anybody thinks it is out of character, then here are a few back stories that could explain his waiting 'till the last minute:
*his teacher only announces projects on the day before they are due, even if they are the kind that need more time.
*Robin was sick and didn't know about the project untill he came back to school, which would be on the day before it was due.

i also wonder if it make sense for it to be due the next day. althouhg the day that the show is held on is never really mentioned, i would expect the shows to take place on a friday or saturday night. if other people feel this way, then the project is for a science fair. If you are wondering about the fuss over getting a project done in time for a science fair, then consider one of the following options:
*first prize is a hefty scholarship.
*Robin is so behind in school that he needs a passing grade on his project in order to graduate into the next grade.

I love how Kermit almost fires Bunsen and Beaker over it.

I wonder if this would be out of character or not. kermit has been unnessessarily angry before (threatening to fire fozzie if anything went wrong in the Roy Clark episode, getting annoyed by Mickey Moose in the petula clark episode), but I am not sure if not helping somebody is a good reason to fire somebody. here are some possible explanations for his frustration:
*Kermit was already stressed out before the show started without knowing that Robin waited untill the last minute (and during an important show) to ask for help on a homework assignment.
*Kermit really wanted Robin to pass, and he figured that the only way that Robin could pass in such short notice would be to have Bunsen and Beaker help him.
*kermit knew what experiment Bunsen was going to showcase that night, didn't wan tto deal with the consequences, and needed an excuse for him not to demonstrate the invention.

 

[TogetherAgain]

This was partially inspired by some comments in the Muppet Theatre thread in the classic Muppets section, where people were wondering where the bathroom is.

Really? Because that's exactly the first thing I thought of when I read it! Wow. And as for the other things about whether or not they're in character... <shrug> Seemed alright to me.

 

[MartyMuppets]

I loved that cold opening sequence also and those At the Dance gags too