1. Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
    You are viewing our forum as a guest. Join our free community to post topics and start private conversations. Please contact us if you need help with registration or your account login.

  2. Sesame Street Season 45
    Sesame Street's 45th season officially begins Monday September 15. After you see the new episodes, post here and let us know your thoughts.

  3. "Muppets Most Wanted" Fan Reactions
    After you see "Muppets Most Wanted", read fan reactions and let us know your thoughts on the Muppets eighth theatrical film.

Muppets of the Caribbean

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Super Scooter, Aug 1, 2008.

  1. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    CAST:

    Kermit the Frog as Will Turner
    Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow
    Miss Piggy as Elizabeth Swann
    and
    Gonzo the Great as Captain Barbossa

    Also Starring:

    Fozzie Bear as Mr. Gibbs
    Rowlf the Dog as Governor Weatherby Swann
    Link Hogthrob as Commodore James Norrington
    Johnny Fiama as Pintel
    Sal Minella as Ragetti
    Beaker as Cotton
    Bunsen Honeydew as Cotton's Parrot/Translator
    Spamela Hamderson as Anamaria
    Andy Pig as Murtogg
    Randy Pig as Mullroy
    and
    Rizzo the Rat as Jack the Monkey

    Also featuring various other Muppets as various other pirates and sailors and such.​

    Welcome to...

    MUPPETS of the CARIBBEAN
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  2. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    (note: characters will be refered to by their Muppet names. The cast list, with the exception of Jack Sparrow, was to show how the characters relate to those of the film)

    MUPPETS of the CARIBBEAN​


    SCENE ONE

    EXT. SHIP'S BOW - EARLY MORNING

    It is a foggy morning. A young pig by the name of BABY PIGGY stands at the bow of the ship, singing...

    BABY PIGGY​
    We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot. Drink up me hearties yo ho! We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot. Drink up me hearties yo ho! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. ​

    FOZZIE BEAR enters.

    FOZZIE BEAR​
    (nervously) Miss Piggy! Don't do that! There are... c-c-c-cursed pirates out here!​

    LINK HOGTHROB enters.

    LINK​
    (to FOZZIE) Quiet, you! You'll scare the fish away!​

    FOZZIE​
    (covers his face with his hat) Oh, I'm sorry, sir. But- but- but-​

    LINK​
    Well, spit it out, sailor!​

    FOZZIE​
    She was singing about... pirates!​

    Dramatic music plays. The three characters look around to find out where it came from.

    LINK​
    Yes, well... That'll do, Mr. Bear!​

    FOZZIE​
    *sigh* Yes, sir.​

    FOZZIE walks to another part of the ship.

    PIGGY​
    I think it would be exciting to meet a real pirate!​

    LINK​
    (snaps at her) Well, think again, little missy! Pirates are such icky people. I'll see to it that those pirates get just what they deserve.​

    ROWLF enters.

    ROWLF​
    Now, Mr. Hogthrob, I don't think I like where this is heading.​

    LINK​
    The ship's heading where you told us to go!​

    ROWLF​
    I meant the conversation.​

    LINK​
    Oh, right.​

    ROWLF​
    I don't think I like you talking to my daughter about... pirates!​

    Dramatic music plays. All the characters look to find where it's coming from.

    ROWLF​
    Would ya cut it out with that old gag! Now, where was I?​

    LINK​
    You're on the boat.​

    ROWLF​
    I know I'm on the boat, I meant in the conversation!​

    PIGGY moves to look over the side of the ship. She sees a parasol floating in the water, and then a piece of wreckage with a rather "green looking" BOY on it in the water.

    PIGGY​
    *gasp!* Look! A boy! A boy in the water! (to the camera) And, boy, is he cute!​

    The crew quickly pulls the BOY aboard.

    They all look out into the distance to see another ship mostly destroyed and in flames.

    While the others look out at the wreckage, PIGGY goes to the young BOY, who we can now see is a FROG, BABY KERMIT.

    KERMIT awakens, panicked.

    PIGGY​
    It's okay. My name is Miss Piggy.​

    KERMIT​
    I'm Kermit... Kermit the Frog.​

    KERMIT passes out again.

    PIGGY notices a medallion around his neck.

    PIGGY​
    You're a... pirate?​

    Dramatic music plays.

    End scene.
  3. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member

    Hmm

    I like it! Great cast list, I might have switched fozzie's and rowlf's roles but I like where it's headed. I'm definitely intrtigued and excited to read more!

    Great Job :)
  4. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    LOVE IT! ! ! ! Super Scoot--this ROCKS! I absolutely LOVE your character choices! I really like Johnny and Sla as Pintel and Ragetti (even though they haven't even appeared yet :p). I'm really enjoying this! More please! :excited:
  5. Redsonga

    Redsonga Active Member

    *hee* This is cute :3! Of course, I loved POTC to began with (All but the 3rd movie, which I think a muppet version could make sooo much better :p)
  6. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Good start. Could do without all the block quotes though. Interested to find out where this goes, the story not the boat, as I've never seen any of the POTC movies.
  7. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    Ah, sorry. I was doing that because that's typically how a script is written, though if it makes it easier to read, I could change that.

    I just did a test, and it's actually easier for me to read with it centered. Maybe because I'm just used to reading it like that. I'd be interested to know if the majority would prefer it like this, though:

    ROWLF: Would ya cut it out with that old gag! Now, where was I?

    LINK: You're on the boat.

    ROWLF: I know I'm on the boat, I meant in the conversation!

    ***

    Thanks for the comments, everyone!
  8. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Yes... That sample is mucho better. Thanks Scoot, looking forward to the next installment. :batty:
  9. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    SCENE TWO

    INT. MISS PIGGY'S BEDROOM - MORNING

    MISS PIGGY, now an adult, awakes from her dream as depicted in the last scene. She stands, and moves to her bureau where she has kept hidden the pirate medallion that she found around KERMIT'S neck. She hold it up in front of her to admire it.

    PIGGY​
    (to camera) What? Can you blame moi?​

    She puts it on.

    There is a knock at the door. PIGGY jumps, surprised by the knock.

    ROWLF​
    (o.s.) Oh, Miss Piggy? Are you decent?​

    PIGGY​
    (to herself) Not if I can help it. (calling out) I'll be right there, Daddy, dear! Ah, ha ha ha ha!​

    PIGGY hides the medallion in her nightgown, and quickly throws on a robe.

    ROWLF enters.

    ROWLF​
    Oh, dearest daughter! (to camera) Piggy's my daughter in this picture, folks. I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. (to PIGGY) Oh, dearest daughter! It's almost noon, and you're still in bed. Are you that lazy?​

    PIGGY​
    Watch it, buster! *ahem!* (sweetly) That is, whatever are you doing, Daddy dear?​

    ROWLF​
    Uh, oh, yes! I have a gift for you!​

    Two MAIDS enter with a brand new dress.

    PIGGY​
    A gift for me? Well, how we sweet! And unexpected, too.​

    ROWLF​
    I did hope it would be a surprise. After all, you begged for it for months.​

    MISS PIGGY and the MAIDS go behind a curtain to put the dress on.

    ROWLF​
    I, uh... I had hoped you might wear it for the ceremony today.​

    PIGGY​
    What ceremony?​

    PIGGY screams as the MAIDS pull the corset tight. ROWLF jumps back at this.

    ROWLF​
    Uh, well, the, uh... Captain Hogthrob's promotion ceremony.​

    PIGGY​
    (to the MAIDS) Pull it tighter!​

    ROWLF​
    You know, he's being made a Commodore, right? (to MAIDS) You're gonna need to put your backs into it in there! (laughs)​

    PIGGY​
    Grr!​

    ROWLF​
    *ahem!* That is to say, Captain Hogthrob is a pretty decent sort of fella, and... kinda slow-witted, maybe, but he's a good guy, I guess.​

    PIGGY​
    There!​

    ROWLF​
    What's that?​

    MISS PIGGY comes out wearing the dress.

    PIGGY​
    What do you think?​

    The corset is MUCH too tight, and obviously so.

    ROWLF​
    Well, uh... You, uh...​

    FEATHERSTONE enters.

    FEATHERSTONE​
    Excuse me, sir, but there's someone here to see you.​

    ROWLF​
    Hallelujah! Saved by the bell! Excuse me, daughter.​

    ROWLF exits quickly.

    PIGGY​
    Well, what do you think, Featherstony?​

    FEATHERSTONE​
    ... Oh, my.​

    INT. FOYER - IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING

    KERMIT stands alone, holding a sword, and admiring some of the decorations. He looks at a sconce, and upon touching it, it breaks off in his hand. Looking around to see if anyone had noticed, he tosses it over his shoulder.

    ROWLF comes down the stairs to meet him.

    ROWLF​
    Ah, Kermit! Good to see you again!​

    KERMIT​
    Good day, sir. I have your order for you.​

    KERMIT presents him with the sword.

    TWO GUARDS come out of nowhere and immediately attack KERMIT! They tackle him to the ground.

    ROWLF​
    Hey, it's all right, fellas. He's just bringin' the sword to me.​

    The TWO GUARDS get up off of KERMIT and leave.

    KERMIT stands, shaken and squished. He straightens himself out.

    ROWLF​
    They're good kids, but a little dull. Now, let's see this sword.​

    ROWLF pulls the sword from it's sheath, and starts swinging it around. KERMIT has to duck a few times to avoid it until, finally, ROWLF returns it to it's place.

    ROWLF​
    Hey, that's a darn good sword, kid. Commodore Hogthob'll love it!​

    KERMIT​
    Well, thank you, sir.​

    ROWLF​
    Pass my appreciation on to your master, would ya?​

    KERMIT​
    (disappointed, since he actually made it) Er, yeah. Yeah, sure.​

    MISS PIGGY enters. The dress has been adjusted for a better fit.

    PIGGY​
    Hello, Kermie! Oh, it's so good to see you! I had a dream about you last night.​

    KERMIT​
    Er, about me?​

    ROWLF​
    Creepy, ain't it?​

    PIGGY​
    About the day we met, Kermie.​

    KERMIT​
    Oh. Oh, of course, Miss Piggy.​

    PIGGY​
    Oh, do not be silly, Kermie! How many times do I have to ask you to just call me Piggy?​

    KERMIT​
    Yes, Miss Piggy. Er, that is... at least once more, Miss Piggy.​

    ROWLF​
    See, Piggy? At least this boy knows what's what!​

    ROWLF slaps KERMIT on the back.

    ROWLF​
    Come along, dear!​

    PIGGY​
    (disappointed in KERMIT) Good day, Mr. Kermit.​

    PIGGY and ROWLF exit.

    KERMIT​
    (as they leave) Uh, goodbye... Piggy.​

    End scene.
  10. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't see this till after I posted my next scene... I'm sorry, but, I think I'm going to leave it like this. Like I said, scripts usually have the dialogue centered. Unless... Does it make it really hard to read, though? I suppose that's the important thing.

    What does anyone else think?
  11. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    SCENE THREE

    EXT. SEA - BOAT - DAY

    CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW stands on the mast of his boat. He looks out at the militairy fort and the small town ahead that he's sailing toward.

    JACK looks down into his boat and sees that it is filling with water. He jumps down to bail it out.

    EXT. PORT - DAY

    JACK, standing atop the mast once again, reaches the port. The boat has slowly sunk to the point where he can easily step off the mast and onto the dock. He bows to his sunken ship, and heads off.

    JACK is stopped by the HARBORMASTER, as performed by BOBO THE BEAR.

    BOBO​
    Hold on a minute, there, little fella. You can't park there.​

    JACK looks at the sunken boat's mast barely peaking above the water, then back at BOBO.

    JACK​
    Park where, exactly?​

    BOBO​
    Oh, you're gonna be one of the difficult ones, are ya? Okay.​

    BOBO grabs JACK and starts shaking him.

    BOBO​
    Listen! You can't park your boat at the dock unless you pay the fee! You got that, bub?​

    BOBO puts him down.

    JACK​
    And... how much is this fee, then?​

    BOBO​
    ... A shilling.​

    JACK​
    A shilling? All this for a shilling, then?​

    BOBO​
    That's pretty much it. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh! And I'm gonna need your name, too.​

    JACK​
    Tell you what, how about three shillings... (hands him the shillings) ... and we forget the name.​

    BOBO​
    Are you trying to bribe an officer of the law, buddy?​

    JACK​
    Would it work?​

    BOBO​
    ... Have a good day, sir.​

    BOBO starts toward JACK'S sunken boat. JACK, on his way out, grabs BOBO'S money pouch.

    EXT. ROYAL DOCK - SHORTLY THEREAFTER

    Two GUARDS, ANDY and RANDY PIG, stand watch of a small, but powerful ship.

    JACK approaches.

    RANDY​
    Stop! This dock is off limits to civilians!​

    ANDY​
    Yeah! ... Are you a civilian?​

    JACK​
    I don't believe so.​

    ANDY​
    Oh. Okay, then.​

    RANDY​
    Wait, wait, wait! I think he is trying to trick us. (to JACK) Are you trying to trick us?​

    JACK​
    Hate to admit it, but I am, mates.​

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Hooray! We got tricked! Do we get treats now?​

    JACK​
    Sorry, no, lads. Now, if you'll excuse me.​

    JACK heads for the ship.

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Okay.​

    ANDY​
    (thinks) No, no, wait! Stop! We cannot let on any civilians!​

    JACK​
    Well, if I see one, I shall inform you immediately.​

    RANDY​
    Ha! You cannot trick us.​

    ANDY​
    You are a civilian.​

    RANDY​
    Yeah. ... Do you have magical powers?​

    JACK​
    I can see you're a couple of bright ones. Tell me, apparently there's some sort of fancy to do up at the fort. How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves didn't merit an invitation?​

    ANDY​
    We are not upstanding!​

    RANDY​
    No.​

    They both sit.

    ANDY​
    We are down sitting.​

    JACK​
    I see. Well, how is it you aren't guarding that ship over there? (JACK indicates the Dauntless) It seems a ship like that makes this one here a bit superfluous, really.​

    ANDY and RANDY stand.

    ANDY​
    Well, this ship is the most fastest ship there is.​

    RANDY​
    That makes this ship the more superfleeous one.​

    JACK​
    I've heard of a ship that's supposed to be very fast, nigh un-catchable: The Black Pearl.​

    ANDY​
    That isn't a real ship!​

    RANDY​
    Yes, it is.​

    ANDY​
    No, it isn't.​

    RANDY​
    Yes, it is.​

    ANDY​
    No, it isn't.​

    RANDY​
    Yes, it is.​

    ANDY​
    No, it isn't.​

    While ANDY and RANDY continue on like this, JACK sneaks on board the ship.

    RANDY​
    Yes, it is.​

    ANDY​
    No, it isn't.​

    The two notice JACK is missing.

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Hey!​

    They run onto the ship, where JACK is at the helm.

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Get away from there!​

    JACK​
    I'm sorry, mates, it's just such a pretty boat. Ship.​

    ANDY​
    What's your name?​

    JACK​
    Smith. Or Smithy, if you like.​

    ANDY​
    Well, what are you doing here, Misser Smith?​

    RANDY​
    Ha ha! You just said "Misser!"​

    ANDY​
    No, you just said "Misser!"​

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Misser, Misser, Misser, Misser, Misser, Misser, Misser, Misser...​

    This chant continues for a bit. JACK rolls his eyes and waits.

    EXT. FORT'S BATTLEMENTS - IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING

    MISS PIGGY stands looking out at the sea. She is fanning herself, feeling overwhelmed by the corset she's wearing.

    PIGGY​
    Good Lord, is this thing tight!​

    LINK enters, joining her.

    LINK​
    Uh, excuse me, Miss Piggy? May I speak with you a moment.​

    PIGGY​
    Yeah, yeah. Whatever.​

    LINK​
    You know, Miss Piggy, you're very lovely today. In fact, you rather remind me of myself.​

    PIGGY​
    (to herself) Eee-yuck!​

    LINK​
    I understand how a fair maiden like yourself may feel being around fair maidens like myself...​

    LINK thinks about what he has said for a moment, then continues upon deciding that it must have been correct.

    LINK​
    And as we are both such fine individuals, it seems to me that it's only proper that we be married, wouldn't you say, Miss Piggy?​

    PIGGY​
    (from the corset) I can't breathe!​

    LINK​
    I thought you might react that way.​

    MISS PIGGY faints, and falls over the side and into the water below.

    LINK​
    Uh, Miss Piggy? (looks around; realizes) Miss Piggy!​

    LINK rushes to the edge.

    A CROWD starts to gather around him.

    MAN​
    Aren't you going to go in after her?​

    LINK​
    Um, uh, well, it is, uh... it is a rather long way down, isn't it?​

    LINK slowly sneaks away.

    End scene.
  12. AnimatedC9000

    AnimatedC9000 Well-Known Member

    *laughs* Same old scardey-cat Link that we know.

    I really like the retelling of the story so far. Makes me wonder if the Electric Mayhem's gonna pop up sometime soon...

    ~ AnimatedC
  13. Muppetfan44

    Muppetfan44 Active Member

    I love it! Great Job, Keep it up!:)
  14. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    WOOT! Super Scoot! This is really, really good! LOVED Jack's exchange with Bobo and Andy and Randy--he works SO well with the Muppets! Rock on Scoot! MORE PLEASE!

    Oh, and P.S. I prefer the font centered, personally.
  15. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    Thanks, gang! I'll see if I can get some more up now.

    I thought of something really fun to do with Johnny and Sal... now I can't wait to get to them! :p
  16. Redsonga

    Redsonga Active Member

    I like it :)! Centered text is much easier for me to read to :)!
    Anyhow, old fashion undergarments were heck IMHO :p. It's so nice seeing Jack again...It's a shame you stopped before Jack pulled her out of the water..If I was Miss Piggy I'd have a few things to say about him ^.~...
  17. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    SCENE FOUR

    EXT. INTERCEPTOR (SHIP) - IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING

    ANDY and RANDY are still chanting "Misser, Misser" over and over again. JACK is now growing impatient.

    MISS PIGGY falls into the water behind them, interrupting the chant.

    JACK looks to the two pigs.

    JACK​
    Will you two be saving her then?​

    ANDY​
    No, we cannot swim.​

    RANDY​
    Yeah, we are not fishies.​

    ANDY​
    Or are we?​

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Oooh!​

    JACK​
    Pride of the King's Navy, you are.​

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Thank you.​

    JACK hands the GUARDS his effects.

    JACK​
    Do not lose these.​

    RANDY​
    Ooh, a sword! Can I play with it?​

    JACK​
    No.​

    JACK jumps in to rescue PIGGY.

    ANDY​
    Well, he didn't say I couldn't play with it.​

    RANDY​
    Hey!​

    UNDERWATER...

    We see the medallion around PIGGY'S neck pulsate a little as it calls out to the Black Pearl.

    ABOVE WATER...

    We see the effects of this as it echoes across the water. ANDY and RANDY are too busy to notice, however, as they fight over who gets to play with JACK'S sword.

    JACK pulls PIGGY up onto the dock, with some minimal help from ANDY and RANDY. PIGGY is still unconcious.

    RANDY​
    Ooh, she's turning blue!​

    ANDY​
    Very cool.​

    JACK cuts open PIGGY'S corset, and she gasps for air!

    PIGGY​
    ("hamming" it up) Air! Oh, air! Oh, I can't believe it! I am save-ed! Ah, the sweet smell of sweet, glorious air!​

    ANDY AND RANDY​
    Yay! Hooray!​

    RANDY​
    You're so very talented, Miss Piggy.​

    JACK notices the medallion around PIGGY'S neck.

    JACK​
    (curiously; almost afraid) Where did you get that?​

    In that moment, JACK finds himself with a sword pointed at his neck. He looks up to see LINK, ROWLF and several PIG GUARDS have him surrounded.

    LINK​
    On your feet... uh, please?​

    JACK stands and ROWLF helps PIGGY up.

    ROWLF sees that JACK has cut PIGGY'S corset off.

    ROWLF​
    (to GUARDS) Shoot him.​

    LINK​
    What? What did I do?​

    ROWLF​
    Not you, (indicates JACK) him!​

    JACK​
    Actually, I thought the other way was a bit more fitting.​

    PIGGY​
    But, Daddy, he... (throws her head back for dramatic emphasis) ... saved me!​

    LINK​
    Oh, really? Well, I suppose thanks are in order then.​

    LINK shakes JACK'S hand, but when he does, he notices a "P" branded on his arm.

    LINK​
    Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you're a p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p---​

    JACK​
    The word's "pirate."​

    LINK​
    A pirate? Uuuuhhhh!​

    LINK faints.

    ROWLF​
    Hang him!​

    The GUARDS put JACK in irons.

    LINK stands up again.

    LINK​
    Uuuhh.... is the pirate gone?​

    JACK​
    Still here, mate. But they have me in these shackles now, so you can act tough if you like.​

    LINK​
    Oh. Mmm-hmm. Yes, well... *ahem!* Tell me, Mister...?​

    JACK​
    Captian, actually. Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please, sir.​

    LINK​
    Oh? Well, tell me, Mr. Sparrow, if you're a captain, what exactly are you the captain of?​

    JACK​
    I'm in the market.​

    LINK​
    Oh? Well, what are you in the market for, exactly? Maybe a yacht, or something? You know, I have a friend who--​

    ROWLF​
    Commodore Hogthrob!​

    LINK​
    Who, me?​

    ROWLF​
    Don't you think you ought to be taking care of the pirate now?​

    LINK​
    Right. Good thinking. That's what we need on our side. (to JACK) Now... you know, for a pirate you don't really have too much, do you?​

    JACK​
    Actually, most of me stuff's over with those fine gentlemen over there.​

    JACK points to where ANDY and RANDY are. They have nearly destroyed all of JACK'S things, aside from his hat, which RANDY keeps down over his eyes. His gun's in "decent" shape, as well.

    LINK​
    Hmm. Seems to me that you are, in fact, the worst pirate I have ever heard of.​

    JACK​
    But you have heard of me.​

    PIGGY​
    Whether he's a pirate or not, he still saved my life!​

    LINK​
    That's very true. It seems we have a dilemma.​

    JACK​
    If I might make a suggestion? You could just let me go. Solve your problem and mine.​

    LINK​
    Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Interesting. Hmmm.​

    LINK walks away, thinking about this.

    JACK​
    Finally!​

    JACK throws his irons around PIGGY'S neck. The GUARDS all hold their rifles up to shoot at him.

    ROWLF​
    Wait, don't shoot! I just bought that dress! And my daughter's in it!​

    PIGGY​
    Oh, thanks a lot, Daddy! Real encouraging! I'll probably be in therapy the rest of my life with that kind of concern.​

    JACK​
    Commodore Hogthrob, my effects, please, and my hat.​

    LINK hands JACK'S things to PIGGY.

    JACK​
    Piggy... it is Piggy, isn't it?​

    PIGGY​
    Miss Piggy.​

    JACK​
    Miss Piggy, if you don't be so kind?​

    MISS PIGGY puts all of JACK'S things back onto him.

    JACK​
    Easy on the goods, love.​

    PIGGY​
    You're despicable! ... Are you seeing someone?​

    JACK​
    Just making things even between us. I saved your life, now you've saved mine. (addressing everyone) Gentlemen, m'lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost captured Captain Jack Sparrow!​

    JACK pushes PIGGY away, and escapes, swinging around and landing on a beam above their heads.

    JACK throws his chains around a rope and slides down to the ground. The GUARDS, who are in pursuit, lose him.

    End scene.
  18. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    Actually, my scene seperation's kind of odd here. I'm going by a transcript someone has where each scene is seperated by event. So, Piggy's falling off the fort and her actually being rescued end up in two seperate scenes.
  19. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    *APPLAUSE!* This is just BRILLIANT Super Scoot! That scene was handled WONDERFULLY! I can't wait to see how the rest of this plays out! I really liked Piggy's lines about Rowlf's concern for the dress before her. More please! :D
  20. Super Scooter

    Super Scooter New Member

    A scene I've been dreading... ;D

    SCENE FIVE

    INT. BLACKSMITH'S SHOP - SHORTLY THEREAFTER

    JACK enters the shop quietly. The shop is absolutely full of beautifully crafted swords, and of course, other items common to a shop like this.

    JACK notices a drunken SAM THE EAGLE lying unconscious on the ground. He pokes him once to see if he'll awaken. He then shouts at him, but he doesn't even stir... well, not really anyway.

    SAM​
    (silent as he pretends to be asleep) Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this?​

    JACK takes his hat off, and sets it on the ground. He then tries to break off his irons with a hammer, but he can't get it to do anything. He drops the hammer in disgust and gives up.

    A DONKEY with a saw enters.

    DONKEY​
    Here, let me help you with that.​

    The DONKEY saws off JACK'S irons.

    JACK​
    Thanks, mate.​

    DONKEY​
    Eh, it's what I do.​

    The DONKEY exits.

    JACK​
    (to camera) Odd. Odd bit.​

    JACK shakes it off when he hears the door to the shop open. He immediately goes and hides.

    KERMIT enters. He walks over to where SAM is "sleeping."

    SAM​
    *sigh* I can't do this. Kermit, I do not understand how it is I have to play a lousy drunkard. It is filthy... naughty... and un-American.​

    KERMIT​
    Actually, Sam, it's very American. Why, even President Grant struggled with alcoholism.​

    SAM​
    ... You made that up.​

    KERMIT​
    No, it's true, Sam. Ulysses S. Grant was an alcoholic.​

    SAM​
    Oh. I see. (to camera) Then I dedicate this performance to him and the other founding fathers of the United States of America.​

    SAM falls to the ground, completely unconscious.

    KERMIT​
    Er, Sam, he wasn't one of the founding... Oh, never mind.​

    KERMIT turns and notices the hammer that JACK dropped on the ground. He then notices JACK'S hat lying next to it.

    KERMIT turns around to find JACK, slowly creeping toward the door.

    KERMIT​
    You!​

    JACK​
    Me?​

    KERMIT takes a sword in case JACK tries something. JACK takes out his sword as well.

    KERMIT​
    You're the one they're hunting. You threatened Miss Piggy.​

    JACK​
    Mmm, not following.​

    KERMIT​
    You're the... pirate!​

    Dramatic music plays. KERMIT and JACK look around for it.

    KERMIT​
    Hmm. Thought we were done with that.​

    JACK​
    You know, you look very familiar. Have I threatened you before?​

    KERMIT​
    I try to avoid familiarity with pirates. You know the whole family entertainer thing and all that.​

    JACK​
    Ah, well, it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. So, if you'll excuse me?​

    JACK tries to leave, but KERMIT stops him.

    JACK​
    Do you think this wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?​

    They parry.

    JACK​
    Excellent form. But how's your footwork?​

    They move around a bit. With each step, KERMIT matches JACK perfectly.

    JACK​
    Very good.​

    KERMIT​
    I'm a frog. We're known for our footwork.​

    They fight for a bit, until JACK starts to grow tired of it. He pushes KERMIT back, sheathes his sword, and heads for the door.

    KERMIT throws his sword, which gets stuck in the door, barring the exit.

    JACK tries to pull it out, but is unsuccessful. JACK grabs his sword, and heads back toward KERMIT.

    JACK​
    Fancy trick, lad. Except, once again you are between me and my way out. And now you have no weapon.​

    KERMIT grabs a sword with a heated tip from the nearby fire, and the two fight once again, sparks flying from KERMIT'S sword.

    KERMIT knocks JACK'S sword from his hand. JACK grabs another sword, which KERMIT soon knocks from his hand as well. This happens again and again. Finally, JACK returns to his own sword.

    JACK​
    (pointedly looking at all the swords he's just used) Who makes all these?​

    KERMIT​
    I do, actually.​

    A few swings...

    KERMIT​
    And I practice with them...​

    And some more...

    KERMIT​
    ... three hours a day.​

    JACK​
    You need to find yourself a girl, mate. ... Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?​

    KERMIT​
    Yeesh!​

    They continue the swordfight, KERMIT now a bit more annoyed with JACK, something that is reflected in their fight.

    Once again, JACK loses his sword. This time, though, he simply pulls out his pistol and aims it at KERMIT.

    KERMIT​
    Wait a minute. This isn't fair. I'm supposed to be the hero in this picture. You cheated!​

    JACK​
    (about himself) Pirate!​

    They both look when they hear GUARDS trying to break down the door that KERMIT threw his sword into.

    KERMIT moves so that he is standing in front of the only other way out.

    JACK​
    Move away.​

    KERMIT​
    I can't let you get away.​

    JACK​
    (cocking his pistol) Please move!​

    KERMIT, realizing JACK is quite serious, starts to lose his nerve a bit.

    KERMIT​
    *gulp* You know, there are better ways to resolve this issue... uh, did you ever think of becoming a blacksmith?​

    JACK​
    Move. This shot isn't meant for you.​

    SAM, who has come to, hits JACK over the head with a heavy bottle.

    LINK HOGTHROB, SCOOTER (his assistant), and several PIG GUARDS storm in.

    LINK​
    Ah-ha! Excellent work, Mr. Eagle! You've assisted in capturing a dangerous fugitive. And he wasn't too very nice either.​

    SCOOTER​
    Yeah, thanks! Mind if Link here takes the credit for it?​

    LINK​
    Quiet, you! *ahem* Thank you again, Mr. Eagle.​

    SAM​
    It was the patriotic thing to do. Hmm.​

    SAM nods once, then exits.

    SCOOTER picks up JACK'S pistol and his compass.

    SCOOTER​
    (to LINK) Hey, boss. Look at this! He's got a pistol with only one shot in it, and a compass that doesn't work.​

    LINK​
    Ha ha! Yes, there is no doubt about it... (to the unconscious JACK) ... you, sir, are indeed the worst pirate I have ever heard of. (to GUARDS) Take him away.​

    End scene.


Share This Page

Entertainment Earth