Sesame, DC: The Gotham Grouchfest

[muppetwriter]

Bert: Relax, Oscar. I'm sure this ending will lift your spirits.

Oscar: I don't need any spirits lifted, orange-nose. Let's just get this over with, so I can go see that stupid "Space Chimps" with Slimy. He likes dumb animals that have bugs covering them. Heh, heh!

Epilogue​

Following the previous night’s incident, everyone in the city had been cured of the toxin, thanks to the Batman, who had become a public hero. Unfortunately, neither the Xiaolin monks, Count von Count, or Oscar the Grouch were acknowledged for their assist in the situation, but it did not matter to any of us (Oscar did fret about it for a while), because they knew they were heroes in their own eyes.

Oscar: Of course, I'm gonna fret about it. I got banged up around my trash can for nothin'! I say the city of Gotham owes me one...a trash can, I mean!

Meanwhile, Elmo and the Mystery Inc. gang had returned to Metropolis to share their adventures with everyone on Sesame Street, but as soon as they arrived there, they had come across what could have been their next biggest mystery: the disappearance of Superman.

Ernie: Hey, it's a reference to our first Superman story. We're in that one, too, Bert.

Bert: Everybody was in that one, Ernie. Even Count and Oscar.

Oscar: Fortunately it's like my "Great Muppet Caper" apperance: a very brief cameo. Heh, heh!

Back in Gotham City, upon arriving at the spot where his manor used to stand, Bruce Wayne had received a phone call from Mr. Earle, just as he had found out the news about Lucius Fox replacing him as CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and he asked him what made him think he could decide who ran the company. Bruce answered by telling him that the son of Thomas Wayne himself was the new owner. Mr. Earle contradicted by saying how the company went public a week ago, but Bruce contradicted him by mentioning how he had bought most of the shares through charitable foundations, trusts, and so forth.

“Look, it’s all a bit technical, but the important thing is that my company’s future is secure.” Bruce said, and he could’ve sworn that he heard Earle slightly wheezing over the phone in surprise. “Right, Mr. Fox?”

“Right you are, Mr. Wayne.” Lucius replied, just before Bruce turned to the young girl that was sitting next to him at the back of the Rolls Royce and offered her to speak into the phone. The girl was Kimiko, who had a big smile on her face as she addressed Fox and Earle.

“Congratulations, Mr. Fox.” She said. “I want to be the first to tell ya that I have a lot of faith in Bruce’s company, with you in the driver’s seat.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Fox said.

“Oh, and Mr. Earle?” Kimiko then spoke in the most sarcastic voice she could muster. “Have a nice day.” Bruce just smiled brightly, as he switched off the phone and shared a high-five with Kimiko.

Bert: Wow. I'd hate to be Mr. Earle right now.

Oscar: Heh, heh. The twerp had it coming to him. And kudos to Kimiko. That kid's got a inner grouch in her, too.

Moments later, when Kimiko and Bruce had made it to the smoking ruins of Wayne Manor, they helped Detective Sean Thomas, Count, Oscar, and the other Xiaolin monks in hammering some boards across the disused well in the backyard area, something that Bruce himself had requested. While workers were shifting through the smoking ruins nearby and being supervised by Alfred, Rachel Dawes arrived at the scene and approached Bruce and his friends.

“Miss Dawes, how are you?” Sean asked her, and she smiled at him, slightly touching the bandaged area where he got cut the other night.

“I should be asking you the same question.” Rachel said, and Sean just chuckled at her, as he looked to Count, Oscar, and the Xiaolin monks.

“I’m just glad that I have all my friends here with, after everything we had been through last night.” Sean stated, while approaching Oscar the Grouch and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, which Oscar had immediately removed.

“Hey, just because I decided to help save the city, after realizin’ that last night’s episode was too grouchy for my taste, it doesn’t mean you and I are buddy-buddy, Tommy! I still hate yer guts!” Oscar told Sean. “And I will always hate yer guts, whether we’re in Gotham or Metropolis!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Sean uttered, right before he slammed the lid of Oscar’s new trashcan (which he was quick to slop up, once he got it) closed, silencing Oscar, while Rachel Dawes focused her gaze on Bruce Wayne, remembering what he said the other night that helped her realize that he was Batman.

Bert: You still got a new trash can, Oscar.

Oscar: Yeah, all because I had to go to a strange dumpsite to get it.

Ernie: There's a dumpsite strange enough for you?

Oscar: Well who knows what kinda Grouches I'll find there. It's like goin' into a dangerous neighborhood.

Bert: Boy, you're a confusing fellow, Oscar.

“Rachel, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

“No, Bruce…I’m sorry.” Rachel said to him, softly. “The day Chill was murdered…I said some terrible things.”

“True things.” Bruce remarked. “I was a coward with a gun, and you made me see that justice is about more than my own anger and pain, so…thank you.”

“I never stopped thinking about you…about us.” As she spoke, she began to get closer to him, while Sean, Count, Oscar, and the mini-monks had watched on. “And when I heard you were back, I…I started to hope.” The others watched on intently, knowing what was about to come next.

“Oh, brother.” Oscar said while peeking through the lid that Sean had leaned on to obscure his view of Rachel and Bruce kissing passionately and desperately.

Oscar: Good thing he did, 'cause if there's one thing I can't stand, it's all that mushy stuff. Blah!

“I still cannot understand the purpose of boys and girls trading saliva with one another.” Omi uttered, and his Xiaolin companions sort of cringed at the way he interpreted the kiss between Rachel and Bruce. “Is it a way of purifying the spit?”

“Omi…stop talking.” Kimiko requested, as Rachel and Bruce broke their kiss, leaving Bruce to just stare into Rachel’s eyes and looking very hopeful. But Rachel began to shake her head, as if realizing something.

“But then I found out about your mask.” She said.

“Batman’s just a symbol, Rachel.” Bruce remarked, and Rachel shook her head again, gently touching Bruce’s face.

“No, this…this is your mask. Your real face is the one that criminals now fear. The man I loved…the man who vanished…he never came back at all.” Bruce was a little confused by her words, yet he somehow understood them. “But maybe he’s still out there somewhere. Maybe someday, when Gotham no longer needs Batman, I’ll see him again.” Sean, Count, Oscar, and the mini-monks knew what Rachel was telling Bruce—she could not reconcile her love for him with his dual life as Batman. Bruce nodded in agreement to Rachel’s sentiment, and he led her and his friends over to the smoldering remains that Alfred was looking over. “You proved me wrong, you know.”

“About what?” Bruce asked her.

“Your father would be proud of you…just like me.” She replied, and Bruce smiled at her, while she smiled back at him. They shared one last look with one another, before she walked off and Bruce stared after her.

Oscar: Jeez, what happened to all the action and suspense? What's with this mushy stuff? Is this a Disney story all of the sudden?

Ernie: It's the "Happy Ending", Oscar. All stories have happy epilogue moments.

Oscar: I shoulda came in for the last chapter. Sheesh!

“So what will you do?” Sean asked him, referring to the manor’s remains.

“Rebuild it. Just the way it was.” Bruce told him, with a smile. “Brick for brick.” Sean had nodded with a smile, as Alfred approached them, following Bruce’s gaze on Rachel.

“Just the way it was, sir?” He asked, and Bruce turned to him.

“Yeah, why?”

“I thought we might take the opportunity of making some improvements to the foundation.” Bruce and his friends realized what Alfred what talking about, and they all grinned at him.

“In the southeast corner?”

“Precisely, sir.”

~~~~~~~~~~~​

That night, something no one in Gotham had seen before, at least since the situation at the docks involving Carmine Falcone, was cast up onto turbulent clouds. It was the irregular shadow of a bat symbol that impressed Detective Thomas, who met Detective Gordon on the rooftop of the police station, as he sipped coffee from a Styrofoam cup.

“Very nice.” Sean said, analyzing the upturned spotlight with a metal stencil bolted to it.

“Thanks. I couldn’t find any mob bosses to strap to it.” Gordon remarked, and Sean chuckled, as Gordon crushed his cup and threw it to the ground. “I only wish he were here to see it.” Sean knew that he was referring to Batman, and a grin crept across his face, as they heard a fluttering noise that was followed by a tapping sound. The two detectives turned to see Batman, Count, Oscar, and the Xiaolin monks, standing on the other side of the spotlight.

“We can see it from miles away.” Batman said, as Omi and Count came up to the spotlight and smiled at it.

“Now everyone will know who’s coming, once they see one giant bat shining into the clouds.” Count commented.

Count: One giant bat! I love it! Ah-ah!

Oscar: Yeah, either they'll know who's coming, or they'll be wettin' their pants. Heh, heh.

“It is a most interesting idea, Sergeant Gordon.” Omi said.

“Oh, it’s lieutenant now, kid.” Gordon said, while killing the searchlight and leaving them all to stand there in the dark on the rooftop.

“Commissioner Loeb promoted you, eh?” Sean asked, grinning.

“He sure did.” Gordon replied. “You all really started something. Bent cops running scared. Hope on the streets. But the Narrows is lost.”

“And we still haven’t picked up Crane or half the inmates of Arkham that he freed.” Kimiko added.

“Not to mention the fact that snake in the glass, Jack Spicer, is still out there with Wuya.” Clay mentioned.

“He’s probably coming up with a new strategy to kick our butts harder next time.” Raimundo assumed, and Oscar just snickered over that thought.

“That loser couldn’t come up with any strategy, even if his life depended on one.” Oscar said, and then he confidently added, “And if he does try to fight back, we’ll be ready for him and those other goons…won’t we?” They all looked over at Oscar and then at each other, nodding.

“We will.” Batman said. “We can bring Gotham back.”

“What about escalation?” Gordon asked. “We start carrying semiautomatics, they buy automatics. We start wearing Kevlar, they buy armor-piercing rounds.”

“And your point is?” Oscar asked, and Gordon leaned in closer to Batman, pointing at him.

“My point is that you’re kids with karate skills, a vampire bat who knows how to count from one to ten, a grouch that lives in a trashcan, a detective from Metropolis, and…above all…a guy wearing a mask and jumping off rooftops.” Gordon said, and the heroes didn’t seemed to be too intimidated by his words.

Ernie: Here comes your big moment, Oscar.

Oscar: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

“Well, at least we’re not as bad as this guy.” Oscar said, reaching into his trashcan and handing Gordon a playing card that has a Joker on the other side of it. “Those kids from Endsville, Billy and Mandy, gave me that after they were willing to ‘forgive and forget’ about all that happened last night.” The others were confused by the card, which immediately became evidence once Oscar gave it to Gordon, more than they were of the relationship between the grouch and the kids from Endsville.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing about this one.” Gordon said. “Armed robbery, double homicide.” He then looked up at Batman, while placing the card in a clear plastic evidence bag. “Got a taste for theatrics, like you.” Gordon handed the evidence bag to Batman, who glanced at the card for a moment.

Oscar: If I never even got that dump card, we wouldn't be havin' another story. *ponders* Then again, a lot more grouchiness means plenty more action. Heh, heh.

Ernie: And suspense, too. *snickers*

Count: And bats! Oh the vonderful bats! Ah-ah-ah!

Bert: And not to mention there's a "W" in Warner Bros! *laughs, but stops when everyone looks at him* Well, you guys took all the good ones. *frowns*

“We’ll look into it.” Batman assured Gordon, right before they all heard a weird noise and noticed Dojo (in his large dragon form) appearing near the edge and gazing at the group on the rooftop.

“C’mon, kids! It’s time to shake a tail feather!” Dojo exclaimed. “I’m just now sensing a new Shen Gong Wu, somewhere beneath this city.”

“Just now?” Raimundo asked in a sarcastic voice, and the Xiaolin warriors went to climb onto Dojo, while Batman moved to the edge of the rooftop, looking out at the lights of Gotham, with his cloak billowing around him. Gordon quickly called out to him, before he had the chance to leave.

“Hey! I never said thank you.” Gordon said, and Batman turned to look back at him, Sean, Count, and Oscar.

Oscar: Why would ya wanna?

Bert: Shhh! This is the best line in the story.

“And you’ll never have to.” Batman stated, and Gordon smiled, as Batman dropped from the rooftop, gliding on the night wind with Dojo and the Xiaolin warriors.

Oscar: That's the best line? Blah! At least I got the last line in the whole stupid story.

“Boy, do I love this city.” Oscar uttered, and Sean looked over at him, smiling. Not often had he heard the word “love” come out of a grouch’s mouth before, unless he was referring to trash.

Sesame, D.C.​

Bert/Ernie:*applauding* HOORAY! HOORAY!

Count:*applauding* That is one brilliant tale! Ah-ah!

Oscar: Whatever. I'm just glad this commentary is done. I mean, who ever does these anymore? It's just a bunch of people talking through the movie. It's the most annoying thing in the world. *pauses* How come we never do that on our DVDs?

Ernie: Elmo does it on his all the time.

Oscar: And that's another thing? How did Elmo get all of the attention suddenly? I mean, where's that "Gross Me Out, Oscar the Grouch" doll that I was promised. I get more appearances than that twerp ever had. I was on "1 vs. 100" for cryin' out loud!

Bert: Can we talk about this off the thread, Oscar? The story's over.

Oscar: I should sue, I tell ya! Watch me! I'm gonna take PBS to court! And there's gonna be another Sesame Street movie, and it's gonna be called "Oscar Goes Back To Grouchland". And it won't have Elmo in it! *stops and realizes everyone's gone* Blah! Today's commentary was brought to you by the letters "F" and....

*end of commentary*​