The Best Neighbor

[The Count]

As I explained to someone else... It's not a matter of opening the post. To quote some lines: when your time's up, it's over. Once the time limit for the poster themselves to edit/delete their posts has elapsed, only mods have the power to do that. LMK what you need changing and I'll take care of it. If you want the whole fic treated to such niceties, I do have something of a fee we can work out, but that's your decision entirely.

Hope this helps.

 

[Convincing John]

Ohhh...I get it. Thanks for explaining it to me, I guess I didn't understand how it worked.

No, I don't need the whole fanfic to be proofread and stuff. I just have 3 typos to be fixed. That's all. If you have time to fix 'em, that's OK. If not, that's OK too.

In the last chapter, there's two typos. One is in the first line of my "Movin' Right Along" parody. There should be a space between "along" and "in". I typed in "sawyed" instead of "swayed". In Chapter 7 where Kermit's talking to Sam, it says "Kermit relied". Should say "Kermit replied".

Again, thanks for explaining the edit rules Count.

Convincing John

 

[Convincing John]

Another Guest Star! Product placement! Penguins!

Chapter 9

Kermit paid for the breakfast while the bus idled in the first drive-thru lane. Bags were passed from the window to the hungry riders.

"Smells good!"

"Yeah!"

"Yum!"

"Thanks, Kermit!"

"Annyfrrng elf?" asked the drive-thru attendant in the window. Apparently, the speakers worked just fine. The attendant's voice was muffled at the window, too.

"No, that's all. Thank you!" smiled Kermit.

"Waaak! Waak!" squawked the penguins gratefully from the back trailer where the chickens usually rode.

As the last few rolls and cups of juice were passed around, the second drive-thru lane had a visitor.

"What is this?" Frass snarled as he saw the back of the rickety old bus. "some kind of zoo wagon?" he frowned at the boisterous penguins. "Pass 'em, Max! I'm hungry."

Max was just as confused as Frass. Why would a zookeeper haul around penguins in a trailer? He tried to pass them anyway. Unfortunately, the bus was so huge, Max could only inch up beside the trailer without scratching the car on a support beam. Max put the driver's window down so he could be prepared to order.

The penguins were having a ball. They were eating, squawking, laughing and waddling. One of them caught a glimpse of the Maybach and whistled appreciatively. The others quacked in approval as they poked their beaks in the driver's window. Max shrank back, startled as the penguins gawked inside.

One penguin poked his head in and saw a surprised fat man in the back seat. He glanced around the car's interior as Frass yelled "Pass them! Pass! Pass! Pass!"

The penguin heard Frass yelling "pass", squawked a coarse "Okay!" in reply and ducked out of sight. A moment later, a black wing handed something to Max.

"What is it?" Frass demanded.

Max held it up. It was a little jar.

"Grey Poupon?"

The penguins cracked up. Several of them rolled over with laughter in their trailer. Max thought it was funny, too. But he dared not crack a smile while his boss could see his face in the rear view mirror.

"What's going on back there?" called Kermit. The penguins seemed to have more energy than usual for this time in the morning. He sidled to the right side of the bus, opened the window and peeked out.

Max saw something green pop out of the window. He leaned out of the driver's window for a better look.

"What're you gawkin' at?" Frass snapped. He leaned forward and saw...

"MAX!" shouted Kermit.

Max's jaw dropped.

"FROG!" roared Frass. In his shock, he gasped and inhaled his cigar stub, nearly swallowing it.

"Floor it!" Kermit shouted to Dr. Teeth.

Dr. Teeth stomped on the accelerator. Massive backfire exploded from the bus, blowing smoke everywhere, including in the Maybach. Max and Frass coughed as the bus's engine roared and backfired again.

"AFTER--HIM! AFTER---HIM!" Frass yelled between gagging. By the time the smoke cleared, the bus was gone. Frass's face nearly matched the upholstery. He gave a huge, phlegm-laden hack and cleared his vision. His watering, beady eyes then saw the drive-thru assistant.

"Pull up there!" he commanded.

Max, his eyes still stinging from the smoke, obediently pulled up to the window. Frass put his window down and glowered.

"Where did that frog go?" he demanded.

"Mrff-frfff-mrfff-mrrff-mrrrf." the unfortunate drive-thru worker shrugged.

"I SAID WHERE DID THAT FROG GO?"

"Mrff-frfff-mrfff-mrrff-MRRRF!" the drive-thru assistant muffled from behind the hood of his burnt orange parka.

Frass shook with rage. Max thought it best just to leave. As he did, Frass took a deep breath and spat his slimy cigar stub directly into the boy's eyes. As the boy let out a muffled, painful yell, the Maybach took the eastbound exit. It sailed like a spear through the early morning traffic, pursuing its prey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Whew! That was close!" sighed Kermit.

Dr. Teeth had pulled out just before a convoy entered the highway. The semis hid the bus well from anyone trying to follow them.

"I think we lost 'em." said Rowlf. He was watching from the back window. There was nothing but semis for a good mile behind them.

"I knew it, I knew it!" complained Link.

"You knew that Max saw our announcement?" asked Fozzie.

"No! I knew I should've stayed home and watched my bowling shows!" Link moaned. "I don't wanna be chased by Mr. Dog Food Man!" he sucked his thumb and shivered.

"We'll be all right, gang," assured Kermit. "But I'd feel better if we knew the homestead was safe. Anyone got a cell phone?"

"I got one, but it ain't got no minutes on it..." growled Clifford. He stared at Pepe, who was chatting on his own cell phone.

"Look hokay, so we meet for some dining and dancing hokay, and den we..." he stopped and noticed Kermit tapping on his shoulder.

"Uh, Pepe?"

"Just a minute, my love," Pepe sighed into the phone. He turned around. "Kermin, I'm making a very important phone call, hokay. I'm a very busy prawn."

"Pepe, we need to call the house to make sure Frass didn't show up there."

"But this is Chantelle, Kermin! Chantelle!" Pepe pleaded. "She's a supermodel, hokay!" he inched away from Kermit and backed up against someone's pant leg. A swift purple hand snatched up the phone and put it to his ear.

"Message CR-52," Clifford said in a voice even deeper than his own. "Welcome to Antron Wireless. This number has been permanently disconnected due to the caller being an annoying, little, two-timing shrimp with no money. Please make a note of it. If you feel this recording is an error, you are wrong. Do not check the number. Instead, please delete it from your cell phone and do not call again. Beep." Clifford hung up and coolly handed the cell phone over to Kermit. "There you go, Kerm." Pepe's jaw quivered in shock as Kermit dialed the Boarding House.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Had Max taken the regular road in Hensonville, they would have seen quite a sight. Dozens of kids stopped by the Boarding House. As Pops answered the door, Lew took phone calls. The basement door was locked tight (for obvious reasons).

Parents came up with their children and all said the same thing "Tell the nice clown about your Mister Rogers drawing." The child would either describe something, look around the room with their fingers in their mouths or say "he smells like tunafish!"

A few children came close to describing the chosen picture. Lew even took down the information of six "finalists". Each one gave an amazing description of what they drew. One child even remembered sticking a candy wrapper to the picture.

Of course, there were a lot of parents wanting their child to be in charge of guarding the artifacts. To make sure no parent lied about the drawing being sent in by their child, Lew and Pops kept the copied picture out of sight. Under Kermit's instructions, no one who visited the Boarding House could see the picture yet, especially the grown-ups. "Just get the phone numbers of possible finalists," said Kermit before he left.

The phone rang constantly. One call came through on the extra cell phone at the table. Lew recognized the number on the caller ID right away.

"Hey, Mister The Frog!" said Lew. "How's the trip goin'?"

"Well, so far Max spotted us, but we gave him the slip at the last minute. Did a shiny black car with slanting headlights drive by?"

"Mmm...nope. It's been just kids so far."

"Well, keep an eye out for it. If one shows up and you see Frass get out, let Animal at 'em!"

"Will do, Mr. The Frog!" The second phone rang again. "I gotta go, see ya!"

"Bye."

"Well?" asked Fozzie.

Kermit shook his head. "No, he hasn't found the Boarding House, thank goodness. It does mean, though, that Max is following us." Kermit's slender fingers gently held the cardboard mailing tube. "I just hope we can get to New York before long."

It wasn't that far to New York and Dr. Teeth knew the way to the place they needed to go. They all knew the way, though many people asked how to get there.

The traffic thickened as more cars, vans and semis crowded the bus. In the distance, the first skyscrapers rose like pointed peaks against the pre-dawn sky. A tiny sliver of orange sunlight stretched behind the buildings. Already the outskirts of the city whizzed by: apartment buildings, some stores and a few gas stations.

A few more miles...Kermit thought...a few more miles and we'll be taking that exit...

Although they had not seen Max since they left Hensonville, everyone breathed a sigh of relief when they heard the turn signal's familiar "dink-dunk-dink-dunk-dink-dunk" sound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More soon.

Convincing John

 

[redBoobergurl]

I loved the penguins! I love penguins in general, but when they are Muppet penguins it's even better. Was the fast food guy supposed to be Kenny from South Park? At any rate, another great chapter, looking forward to reading more!

 

[Convincing John]

Was the fast food guy supposed to be Kenny from South Park? At any rate, another great chapter, looking forward to reading more!

Thanks!

And yep, the fast food guy was Kenny!

There'll be another chapter soon.

Convincing John

 

[dwmckim]

Ha ha - i wasn't even thinking of Kenny just because even without the "celebrity cameo" the idea was funny enough - i was actually thinking of this guy who works the drive-thru at Arby's during graveyard shift...he always has the look/expression of a zombie and mutters everything in the speaker and in person low and unintelligable. I always call him (not to his face of course) "Mumbles".

 

[Convincing John]

Chapter 10

"Just park behind the arbor in that little parking lot. Max might see us out front." Kermit instructed.

Dr. Teeth pulled into a little parking lot where a few vehicles sat. One of them was an old yellow Volkswagen. It's hood and part of the roof had been replaced. A dilapidated taxi cab sat next to it. A little ways off was a small red and white airplane.

Kermit smiled. He felt safe here. After all, it was still home to him.

"Okay! Everybody out!"

The Muppets climbed out of the bus, passing luggage and penguins around as they went.

"Okay, first things first." said Kermit. "Everyone needs to have a copy of the drawing. We need to show it to everyone we see here. Got it?"

"Yeah"s, "okay"s and "sure"s came from the crowd as Kermit passed out the copies. "Remember, anyone we see has to see the picture."

"Wait a minnit," asked Rizzo. "how come we have ta show da picture to everyone heah when da picture hasta be hidden from everyone else?"

Kermit turned around. "Simple. You can trust the people here."

"Where are we gonna stay, chief?" asked Scooter.

"Huh?"

"Well, you said we're going to stay here for a night. Is there a hotel around here?"

"Oh! Well, I phoned ahead. Don't worry about that. Just follow me."

The Muppets picked up their luggage and trudged onward. As they turned the corner, a mostly familiar sight met their eyes.

It was a street they all knew and loved. There was the row of doors, the trash can and the brownstone building. The well-worn stoop was there. Next to it were the apartments of some of Kermit's oldest friends. The arbor was there with its old fire escape and a few crates. Then there was...

"Woah!" Kermit stepped back. "Hooper's store really changed since I was here last." It looked new and sleek compared to the rest of the street. He glanced to his left. "What th--" he peeked in the window of another building. It was dark inside, but Kermit knew instantly that it was not what it was supposed to be. "Where's the Fix-It Shop?" he looked at the row of washers and dryers inside.

"It's back here chief, just around the corner." replied Scooter.

Kermit sighed. "Oh good. Just as long as it's here somewhere."

Rowlf looked appreciatively at the old place. It had changed, but as long as Rowlf saw that old stoop, he was satisfied. Gonzo, on the other hand, looked a little uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" asked Rowlf.

Gonzo sighed and shifted away from Camilla. "Look, I didn't know he was a boy bird and only six years old, OK? Otherwise I wouldn't've made a fool of myself like that when he visited us. Some people are colorblind. Well, I'm featherblind," he leaned in to whisper in Rowlf's ear. "you know that all--" he nodded sideways at Camilla; "--look the same to me, right?"

Rowlf nodded. "I know, but..."

Gonzo shook his head. "Those forums...next thing you know, they'll be bringing up the 'teddy bear thing' again."

"It's okay. No harm done," assured Rowlf as he patted Gonzo's shoulder. "just remember what Maria said about this place: 'no matter who you are or what you look like or how old you get, you're always welcome on Sesame Street.'"

Gonzo smiled. Rowlf always knew just what to say.

"All right," smiled Kermit. "first thing's first. We're going to split up. Everyone got a copy of the drawing?"

Nods and murmurs of "yeah, yeah" answered him.

"Good. Now, we'll all meet back here at Hooper's Store tomorrow morning. It should be openi--oh good." A light came on inside the store. "that means everyone should be up and about soon. Just cover as much ground as you can. Remember, leave no stone unturned. Ask everyone you see and tell them to ask everyone they see."

The Muppets split up into different groups. The Electric Mayhem and Clifford went to the brownstone building. Sam strutted forward, examining if the place to see if it were decent enough for his tastes. Rizzo trotted up to him.

"Hey, beaky! You forgot dis!" he handed the rolled up copy to Sam. The two of them headed for the row of colorful doors.

"Come on, Beakie. I know just who we can ask about this predicament!" Bunsen led Beaker off the street completely. Beaker's head swiveled back and forth, taking in the sights as he followed Bunsen.

Fozzie didn't know where to go. Indecisively, he ambled toward the arbor, then glanced up at the fire escape, then saw a light come on somewhere upstairs. He shrugged, tucked the drawing underneath his arm and headed for the brownstone steps. Not long afterwards, Gonzo and Camilla followed him.

Rowlf watched as the rest of the Muppets split up. He saw Kermit head for the brownstone and head for...of course Kermit would go there, Rowlf thought.

He watched as the sun came up, just as it always did here. He smiled knowingly as light after light flickered on and the lamp post light went out.

That old lamp post...

Appreciatively, Rowlf listened to the distant birds singing as they nested in the rafters.

Singing...

That gave Rowlf an idea.

Carefully, he opened the door between the laundromat and Hooper's Store. Softly, smiling, he took one more look at the street he loved so much before closing it gently behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More soon.

Convincing John

 

[The Count]

Aw... That vas vonderful. Even that little jab at us. BTW: Shouldn't the VW be powder blue? Thanks for the update.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Great update! I love SS although I'm concerned about the changes, but I'm sure it will all be explained in due time. Like the nods to Follow that Bird with the Volkswagon and airplane and such!

Ed, it's a yellow VW, it's from Follow that Bird, at least I think so since he's talking about the roof being replaced, and of course we know Cookie Monster ate it in that movie.

 

[The Count]

Right... In FTB Gordon's VW was yellow and slowly devoured by Cookie Monster. But I remember from when I still had good sight, on the show, after the movie, Susan fixed the car and it got repainted a shiny powder blue. Wasn't it?