The Muppet Halloween Party

abiraniriba

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THE MUPPET HALLOWEEN PARTY

It was midnight on October 30th . My wife and I were in bed sleeping when the doorbell rang.
“Who could that be at this hour of the night?” asked my wife.
“I have no idea,” I confessed putting on a robe as our unknown caller rang the bell a second time.
As I proceeded down the hall I noted that the rings were continually coming from our door at one second intervals. Whoever was at the door was either very impatient or very strange.
“Greetings! It is I the Count. Do you know why they call me the Count?” said the numerian vampire at my door.
“Because you love to count things” I said. I had met this weirdo before.
“Yes” he said, “and do you know that it took you 600 rings to answer the door?”
I refrained from informing him that I neither knew nor cared that it took me 600 rings to answer the door.
“Count, why are you here, the Halloween party isn’t until tomorrow evening, and besides it’s at your castle not my house?” I asked.
“You are wrong,” said the Count, “The party is this evening.”
He was right. It was now 12:12 A.M. on October 31st. But even so it wasn’t for another 20 hours.
“The reason I am here is that there are some papers you need to sign to insure that my castle doesn’t share the same fate as your house did after the last muppet party.” said the Count.
“How many?” I asked sighing.
“666” he said, laughing at his own thunder.
“Come in,” I said.
The Count followed me into my living room.
“Who is it?” came my wife’s voice from the bedroom.
“The Count” I said, and sat down to sign the papers.
The Count counted the papers as I signed them. The legal information was very precise and had absolutely no contractions. It had obviously been prepared by Grover. I finished reading and signing the papers by 1:30 A.M. The Count thanked me 3 times for signing the papers and left.
“What did The Count want?” asked my wife.
I informed her of the purpose of The Count’s visit.
“Well now that he’s gone, let’s get back to sleep.” she said.
I agreed and settled back down for 40 winks.
Six hours and thirty minutes later I was awakened again. This time it was by my Cookie Monster alarm clock telling me that it was “time to eat cookies.” I punched his googly eyes and got out of bed. I then opened my closet and got out my costume for the party. Since I was not a monster and more importantly not even a muppet I had to wear a Muppet Costume so that I would fit in I may be the host of this party but there are still a few rules I have to follow. I had decided to dress as Sweetums. The cosutme was a little bit awkward but I got it on. I then carried the head in to the kitchen and put it down on the table while I rummaged around in the cupboard for some breakfast. I decided to have oatmeal, and some Wilkin’s Coffee.
My wife came out of the bedroom and screamed when she saw the apparently severed head of Sweetums sitting on the table. She then calmed down when she saw me in costume.
“I hope you know you’ll be hosting this party alone,” she said.
“Honey, I know you are not a fan of the Muppets, and least of all of the Muppet Monsters, but please come, I bought you a costume.” I pleaded.
“I am not dressing as that little wormlike monster that got eaten in the “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” sketch. Sweetums wasn’t even the one who ate him in that scene.” she said.
“I know but he was all I could find.” I said. Actually I did have the correct monster, but the head was in bad need of repair. I gave up pleading with my wife and ate my food and then the dishes. Hey, I had to stay in character, besides it saved my wife the work of washing them. I then kissed my wife, put the head on and walked out the door.
The Count’s Castle on Sesame Street was just a subway ride away from my house. So it wasn’t hard getting there, however the cop at the random search table was a little freaked out when I walked up to him. He told me to remove the head so he could look in the costume and I did just that. The cop did a double take as he looked at the apparently headless version of Sweetums standing before him. I had scrunched down inside the costume so that my head was invisible. “What’s the matter, you told me to remove my head,” I made the head of Sweetums say, throwing my voice. “Okay, you can go.” he said, apparently he was not going to tell his chief about this one.
In order to get to Sesame Street I had to take the A train, then the B train, then the C train, then the D train, and so on up to the Z train. I then had to take all the number trains too. Needless to say I had no trouble getting a seat with my costume. I got off in front of the Furry Arms hotel and stopped at Hooper’s store for some lunch before heading to the Count’s castle.
Alan was more than a little surprised to see a large furry monster walk into his store.
“You’re not one of my usual customers,” he said.
I removed the head, “it’s me Alan” I said. This time I used my own mouth.
“Oh hi, Craig. Let me guess you’re headed for the Count’s place to host the Halloween party.” he said.
“No, with this costume I am the Halloween party,” I said.
“You got that right,” said Alan, “now what can I get you?”
“Food,” I said.
“I know that, but what kind of food?” asked Alan
“The kind that you eat,” I said.
Alan was ready to make me eat the head of my costume, so I let him off the hook and ordered a burger. After the food I put the head back on and left the place and headed down the street to the Count’s castle. The people on Sesame Street were all very nice although they seemed a little taken aback by my appearance, I didn’t understand why though, I mean they deal with monsters all the time here. I just happened to be a little bit bigger than their usual kind. It had been a long time since I had been to the Count’s castle, but I knew that it was not far from Snuffy’s cave so I headed over to Big Bird’s place to ask for directions.
“Wow, I thought I was the tallest thing on Sesame Street,” said Big Bird, when he opened the door to his nest and looked up.
“It’s me,” I said removing the head.
“Oh you must be headed for the Count’s place,” he said.
“That’s right,” I said. “Do you know how to get there.”
“Yes, it’s twenty steps past Snuffy’s cave, which is right over that way,” he pointed out past Bob’s building. I looked and then I could just see the top of the Count’s castle when some lightning flashed. The Count must have been counting decorations as he put them up. I thanked the eight foot tall canary and proceeded on my way.
“Hey Humongous” said a voice from a garbage can as I passed.
“Humongous is another monster, Oscar,” I said.
“Yeah, well you’re almost as big as he is. Who are you anyway?” he said.
I removed the head.
“Oh it’s you,” he said.
“Nice to see you too, Oscar,” I said.
“Get Lost” he told me.
“I already was lost.” I told him.
“Yeah, well get lost again.” he said. “Why you wearing a monster costume anyway.”
“I’m going to the party at the Count’s Castle.” I said.
“Oh yeah, I heard about the party that number nut is having at his place.” he said. “Count me out!!” he went back inside his can and closed the lid. I continued on my way.
The Count let me in his castle on the 10th knock and then we went to work decorating the place. The Count counted more decorations than he put up, but by 6:00 we had the place all ready.
“In just two hours the guests should start to arrive,” said the Count.
“Yes,” I said, filling a barrel with water for the apple-bobbing contest. I then added some red food coloring to the water to make the apples harder to find.
At 7:30 the real Sweetums came in.
“Nice mirror, you have here Count,” he said, looking at me.
“What mirror,” said the Count “I have 0 mirrors in my castle, Ha Ha Ha!”
“Then what is this,” he said pointing at me. I pointed back at him and we did a little mirror routine for a while then he said “There’s only enough room for one of me at this castle so who are you,”
I removed my head.
“Oh it’s the host,” said Sweetums, “so tell me what was the final verdict.”
“Just the JHP monsters,” I said, “The Mirrormask cats decided to come after all and so did the crew from Labyrinth.”
“That’s good,” said Sweetums, “It wouldn’t be a party without Ludo.”
“Yeah,” I said, “Well I have to put this head back on so I can greet the other guests.” and I put the head back on and stood at the door as the Count counted the guests entering the castle. First came the entire Sesame Street gang of monsters, including a few that I couldn’t identify right away. After them came the rest of the monster crew from the Muppet show Big Carl was the first to show up. Then came the monsters and Goblins from the Labyrinth, at first I wasn’t going to let the Goblins in since technically they weren’t monsters (although they certainly acted like monsters) and they didn’t have an invite, but then Humongous showed up driven by Klünkit and I knew that it would not be wise to defy him. After that came the huge dragon-like creature from the Monster Maker episode of The Jim Henson Hour Series. Trailing after him was a host of strange creatures from the Storyteller’s Greek Myths series. Then came the regular Storyteller series monster characters led by the misshapen giant with all the borrowed parts from the story of Fearnot. I was about to close the door when Death swooped through fresh from the Soldier’s sack.
“You’re not a monster,” I said.
“Let me in, the soldier wants to put me back in his sack.” he said.
“Promise not to take anyone here” I said
“I promise,” he said.
I let him in and closed the door. Then suddenly one of the Count’s windows opened up and a strange cat with a human’s face jumped in followed by many more. It was the sphinxes from Mirrormask.
“There are more coming still” said one of them looking at me hungrily.
“I’m not scared” I said defiantly, remembering the words of “The Really Useful Book.”
Then a knock came on the door and a strange buzzard-like creature came in followed by eight more. It was the nine Skeksis from The Land of the Dark Crystal. As soon as they were in skekIm muttered a strange incantation and the room filled with Garthim.
The castle was wall to wall monsters. There wasn’t room for any more.
“How many are here?” I asked the Count.
“Five thousand, two hundred eighty,” he replied, clicking the number off on a mechanical counter. He had obviously lost count somewhere for I swore there were many more. No matter, it was 9:00 and the party was going full swing with all sorts of creatures doing all sorts of crazy things. Even Yorick from Sam and Friends was present.
“Well looks like everyone’s here” I said to Sweetums.
“Not quite,” he said. The doorbell rang one more time. I opened the door and a strange spaceship landed. It opened up and out came the creatures from Gorch. First it was the Mighty Favog and then all his worshippers, then a weird bunch of rock like creatures came in and started complaining about a really bad toothache. The castle was bursting at the scenes Monsters were breaking dishes, hanging from the chandeliers and basically behaving like monsters. I hoped the Count’s insurance covered all this. Then I remembered the words of the contract that I had signed earlier in the morning. Any damage that occurred to the Count’s possessions as a result of the party was my responsibility. I was in big trouble. Judging by the age of the castle alone, everything in it was obviously an antique from around the 14th Century, how was I to pay for all this. I had to think fast, then it hit me I knew exactly what to do. I found Cookie Monster and gave both my copy and the Count’s copy of the contract to him. He ate it. I was free. Or so I thought. The Count came over to me and told me that even though I didn’t have to pay, I still had to clean up at the end of the party, which was at midnight a mere two and a half hours away. It would take me all night to clean up this mess. I decided to just watch what happened and see if I could get the gang to clean up after themselves starting at 10:00.
No dice, 10:30 came and the party was still in full swing the monsters had no intention of cleaning up or leaving for that matter. This was not going to be easy. Then at 11:00 something strange happened. The bell in the Count’s belfry bonged 11 times and every monster started to put all the stuff back in place. It was amazing, every dish was being put back together all the dirt and food was being cleaned up from the floor. The whole place was being taken care of.
“How did you get them to do this” I asked the Count.
“I didn’t” he said.
“It was me,” said Death “I told them if they didn’t clean up I’d take them home to my place.”
I watched as the monsters cleaned up after themselves and then began to file out of the castle, in the reverse of the order they had come. By 12:00 the Count’s castle was empty except for myself and the Count. I thanked the Count for a wonderful time and headed home.
When I got home I found that my troubles had just begun, cause guess where the monsters had gone. That’s right the Muppet Monsters were at my house and they weren’t leaving.
 
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