TMS Outline-Phil Silvers!

[Princeton]

Or "The Return of Fleet Scribbler"
STYLE: 5TH SEASON(CIRCA PAUL SIMON EP)

Cold Opening

Pops- Who're you?
Phil- Oh, I'm Phil Silvers, I'm here to host the show.
Fleet(walks in)- Well then, I came on just the right night. Phil Silvers, my, my!
Phil(to Fleet)- Do I know you?
Pops- If you don't, be thankful.
Fleet(to Pops)- Pipe down, Gramps. Like it or not, I'm back.
Phil- Would somebody tell me who this guy is?!
Fleet- Forgive me, where are my manners? Name's Fleet Scribbler, former gossip columnist for The Daily Scandal.
Phil- Former? What do you do now?
Fleet- I'll tell you later. Meantime, let's blow this popsicle stand and do the show!

Opening Theme
Gonzo- feathers come out.

Opening Number- Phil plays Piggy's father and sings "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" at her wedding (to Link!)

Backstage- Piggy walks by Kermit in her wedding dress and says "Worry not, mon cherie, for our day will come". Kermit, dressed in an Italian suit and a flamboyant ascot, says "Well, when it comes, let me know and I'll have Statler and Waldorf throw me off the balcony". Just then, Scooter runs over to Kermit and tells him that Fleet's back. As it turns out, this time Fleet came to show off his robbery skills. And what's worse is because of Phil's experience in playing con men on TV, Fleet and Phil are partners in crime!

Muppet Sports- Top Hat Frisbee.

Song- Phil and Fleet run down the theater's aisles looking for things to steal and sing "Open A New Window".

Muppet Labs

Bunsen- Ah, another scientific breakthrough from Muppet Labs! Due to tonight's shenanigans by our guest star, we are proud to present Muppet Labs' Anti-Theft Wristwatch. If somebody tries to take this wristwatch from you, first the watch will squirt the assailant with black ink. Then, just seconds after his clothes are stained beyond repair, sulfuric gas will shoot from the watch's face, temporarily disarming the thief for several minutes. Not only that, but this dandy watch gives new meaning to the phrase "Stink Beneath The Ink"! That's all for today from Muppet Labs.

UK Skit- Scooter, clad in pinstripe suit, sings "Music, Music, Music".

Backstage- Kermit finally catches Fleet and forbids him to ever enter the Muppet Theater again. Then Kermit announces the next sketch.

Bear On Patrol- Fozzie brings in Fleet and lock him up.

Backstage- Kermit scolds Phil for letting Fleet make him partner up with Fleet. Kermit says "I would've expected more from a guest on our show. I'm ashamed of you, Phil". Phil then repents and empties his pockets. Kemit then says "Well, I guess you're a changed man, Phil! Come on, let's get you ready for your closing number". Just as Kermit walks away, Phil snatches Kermit's ascot off his neck. Once he notices, Kermit begins to freak out. But Phil just smiles, hands Kermit his ascot and says "Just keeping you on your toes, pal".

Closing Number- Phil and various Muppets sing "Second Hand Rose".

Closing Theme

Feedback is appreciated.

 

[Princeton]

Anybody care to reply to this one? Phil Silvers is best known for playing Sgt. Bilko in The Phil Silvers Show a.k.a. You'll Never Get Rich. For me, though, I remember him most for his recurring role on The Beverly Hillbillies as Honest John.

 

[Zoot The Saxman]

Yes I'd like to comment.....It's good.....I would add in a few scenes with Phil and Fozzie, Both vaudville comics, doing cheesy jokes and being the "Top Banana. OR Have Phil do the Singing Teacher sketch he's famous for.

 

[MartyMuppets]

Muppet Labs was good. I presume the watch is supposed to be squirting ink and gas on poor Beaker HA HA!

and Patrol Bear locking up Fleet Scribbler was an excellent touch.

 

[Gorgon Heap]

My favorite parts:

Backstage- Piggy walks by Kermit in her wedding dress and says "Worry not, mon cherie, for our day will come". Kermit, dressed in an Italian suit and a flamboyant ascot, says "Well, when it comes, let me know and I'll have Statler and Waldorf throw me off the balcony".

Muppet Sports- Top Hat Frisbee.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole