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We've had John Cleese, so why not another Python?
TMS with Eric Idle
by Swedish chefs
Cold Opening: Eric Complains to Scooter that he's found a dead parrot in his dressing room. Scooter assures him it's just resting. Just as we think we know were this sketch is going, the bird wakes up and flies off.
Eric: (Turns to camera) That's not the way I remember it!
Theme: Gonzo is blown out of the "O" by Animal, who blows a tuba behind him.
Animal: TUBA! TUBA!
Opening number: Scooter, playing an accountant, daydreams the number " I want to be a producer" (From the hit Broadway show “The Producers") He taps, sings, cane dances, goes into a kick line with Wanda and five other attractive whatnots, and then goes dejectedly back to his desk. (Can't you just see Scooter playing Leo Bloom?!)
Balcony:
Statler: You know, there's something I'd wish the producer of this show would produce.
Waldorf: What's that?
Statler: Something Entertaining!
S/W: DOHhohoho!
Backstage: Kermit congratulates Scooter as Gonzo runs up telling him he has a great new act. Kermit has a free spot on the show, so he asks him what it is. Gonzo won't tell him, preferring to keep it a secret. However, he asks for a ferret, a kumquat , a book on learning Cantonese in five minutes and a giant slingshot. Kermit stares in disbelief and goes to introduce Eric Idle.
Onstage: Eric sings “With a little bit of Luck” with Fozzie and Beauregard.
Balcony:
Statler: I’ve always though Eric Idle was a good performer.
Waldorf: So what’s he doing on this Show?
Backstage: Gonzo again pesters Kermit, enlisting Scooter and Lew to help him prepare for his act at the end of the show by directing the quartet of tap dancing bratwurst into his dressing.
Onstage: Janice and Floyd groove with “ I got Life” from “Hair”
Balcony:
Waldorf: I remember when I lived life the way those two do. I was young and carefree.
Statler: That long ago?
( Waldorf punches Statler’s face in.)
Swedish Chef: The Chef attempts to prepare a “Pepperoniiii piza” but spins the pizza to hard, and it takes the chef on a helicopter ride.
Muppet Newsflash: The Newsman reports that a Indian brave named He-who-runs-without-pants has just broken the record for longest tomahawk throw. A tomahawk flies through frame and hits the studio wall inches from his head. He faints.
Backstage: Fozzie has Gags Bentley on the phone, copying down jokes, as Eric talks to Kermit about his next act. Kermit asks him to sign a waver, as apparently Gonzo is appearing in Eric’s sketch!
Onstage: Eric plays a increasingly rude French waiter who serves Gonzo and Camilla. First he gets their order wrong, and gets upset when they correct him. Then he pours wine over Gonzo’s head. He then tries to cook Camilla, who runs off. Finally he goes into a rant about his own needs, how he is better than this, etc. Then Gonzo makes the mistake of asking for the check. He is then attacked by the distraught waiter.
UK skit: Rowlf sings “More than I could wish you” from Guys and Dolls
Pigs in Space: The Swinetrek passes through a field of deadly undie-waves, which makes everyone’s underwear fly of their bodies. It turns out Link wears feetie pajama as under his uniform.
Balcony:
Statler: Well, that was certainly embarssing for the pigs.
Waldorf: No more embarrassing than every sketch they do!
S/W: DOOOHHHOOO!
Dressing Room: Eric and Zoot have a nice conversation. Strangely enough, Eric talks nonstop about anything in the world and Zoot just falls asleep.
Backstage: Gonzo is ready for his big finale, and starts lugging a trampoline to the back of the theater.
Muppet Labs: Bunsen tests his electrical toupees on Beaker, after their last experiment left the hapless assistant bald. However, the Bunsen spills water on the cable, it overheats, electrocutes beaker and blows up, taking Beaker’s last shred of dignity with it.
Onstage: The moment off truth arrives.
Kermit: Well, here it is folks. Our master of culture and pain, Gonzo the Great. I advise you all to duck.
Fanfare.
Gonzo: Ladies and Gentlemen! I shall now be hurtled through the air in a giant slingshot, pulled by five chickens singing “Singing in the Rain” and a quartet of tap-dancing bratwurst, whilst, and at the same time, reciting Hamlet’s “Alas poor Yorik”, monologue in Cantonese, and juggling a ferret, a kumquat, and a bust of George Washington. I shall then bounce off a trampoline positioned at the back of the theater, and land back on the stage on this tiny pillow!
Needless to say, Gonzo drops the ferret, messes up the speech, and missis the trampoline.
Balcony:
Waldorf: Well, that was a catastrophy.
Statler: Is this show ever anything else?
Onstage; Eric runs on to see if Gonzo is alright. Gonzo is crushed by the falure of his act, and Eric comforts him by singing “ Just look on the bright side of Life” from The Life of Brian.
Clkosing theme: Eric tells Kermit he loves this show so much, he almost wants to come back next week. Kermit tells him they have a guest spot open, but Eric says the key word in his compliment is “almost.”
S/W closing coments:
Waldorf: That Eric Idle needs to look on the bright side of life.
Statler: How could he if he’s on this Show?
S/W: DOH hohoho!
TMS with Eric Idle
by Swedish chefs
Cold Opening: Eric Complains to Scooter that he's found a dead parrot in his dressing room. Scooter assures him it's just resting. Just as we think we know were this sketch is going, the bird wakes up and flies off.
Eric: (Turns to camera) That's not the way I remember it!
Theme: Gonzo is blown out of the "O" by Animal, who blows a tuba behind him.
Animal: TUBA! TUBA!
Opening number: Scooter, playing an accountant, daydreams the number " I want to be a producer" (From the hit Broadway show “The Producers") He taps, sings, cane dances, goes into a kick line with Wanda and five other attractive whatnots, and then goes dejectedly back to his desk. (Can't you just see Scooter playing Leo Bloom?!)
Balcony:
Statler: You know, there's something I'd wish the producer of this show would produce.
Waldorf: What's that?
Statler: Something Entertaining!
S/W: DOHhohoho!
Backstage: Kermit congratulates Scooter as Gonzo runs up telling him he has a great new act. Kermit has a free spot on the show, so he asks him what it is. Gonzo won't tell him, preferring to keep it a secret. However, he asks for a ferret, a kumquat , a book on learning Cantonese in five minutes and a giant slingshot. Kermit stares in disbelief and goes to introduce Eric Idle.
Onstage: Eric sings “With a little bit of Luck” with Fozzie and Beauregard.
Balcony:
Statler: I’ve always though Eric Idle was a good performer.
Waldorf: So what’s he doing on this Show?
Backstage: Gonzo again pesters Kermit, enlisting Scooter and Lew to help him prepare for his act at the end of the show by directing the quartet of tap dancing bratwurst into his dressing.
Onstage: Janice and Floyd groove with “ I got Life” from “Hair”
Balcony:
Waldorf: I remember when I lived life the way those two do. I was young and carefree.
Statler: That long ago?
( Waldorf punches Statler’s face in.)
Swedish Chef: The Chef attempts to prepare a “Pepperoniiii piza” but spins the pizza to hard, and it takes the chef on a helicopter ride.
Muppet Newsflash: The Newsman reports that a Indian brave named He-who-runs-without-pants has just broken the record for longest tomahawk throw. A tomahawk flies through frame and hits the studio wall inches from his head. He faints.
Backstage: Fozzie has Gags Bentley on the phone, copying down jokes, as Eric talks to Kermit about his next act. Kermit asks him to sign a waver, as apparently Gonzo is appearing in Eric’s sketch!
Onstage: Eric plays a increasingly rude French waiter who serves Gonzo and Camilla. First he gets their order wrong, and gets upset when they correct him. Then he pours wine over Gonzo’s head. He then tries to cook Camilla, who runs off. Finally he goes into a rant about his own needs, how he is better than this, etc. Then Gonzo makes the mistake of asking for the check. He is then attacked by the distraught waiter.
UK skit: Rowlf sings “More than I could wish you” from Guys and Dolls
Pigs in Space: The Swinetrek passes through a field of deadly undie-waves, which makes everyone’s underwear fly of their bodies. It turns out Link wears feetie pajama as under his uniform.
Balcony:
Statler: Well, that was certainly embarssing for the pigs.
Waldorf: No more embarrassing than every sketch they do!
S/W: DOOOHHHOOO!
Dressing Room: Eric and Zoot have a nice conversation. Strangely enough, Eric talks nonstop about anything in the world and Zoot just falls asleep.
Backstage: Gonzo is ready for his big finale, and starts lugging a trampoline to the back of the theater.
Muppet Labs: Bunsen tests his electrical toupees on Beaker, after their last experiment left the hapless assistant bald. However, the Bunsen spills water on the cable, it overheats, electrocutes beaker and blows up, taking Beaker’s last shred of dignity with it.
Onstage: The moment off truth arrives.
Kermit: Well, here it is folks. Our master of culture and pain, Gonzo the Great. I advise you all to duck.
Fanfare.
Gonzo: Ladies and Gentlemen! I shall now be hurtled through the air in a giant slingshot, pulled by five chickens singing “Singing in the Rain” and a quartet of tap-dancing bratwurst, whilst, and at the same time, reciting Hamlet’s “Alas poor Yorik”, monologue in Cantonese, and juggling a ferret, a kumquat, and a bust of George Washington. I shall then bounce off a trampoline positioned at the back of the theater, and land back on the stage on this tiny pillow!
Needless to say, Gonzo drops the ferret, messes up the speech, and missis the trampoline.
Balcony:
Waldorf: Well, that was a catastrophy.
Statler: Is this show ever anything else?
Onstage; Eric runs on to see if Gonzo is alright. Gonzo is crushed by the falure of his act, and Eric comforts him by singing “ Just look on the bright side of Life” from The Life of Brian.
Clkosing theme: Eric tells Kermit he loves this show so much, he almost wants to come back next week. Kermit tells him they have a guest spot open, but Eric says the key word in his compliment is “almost.”
S/W closing coments:
Waldorf: That Eric Idle needs to look on the bright side of life.
Statler: How could he if he’s on this Show?
S/W: DOH hohoho!
