A little friendship advice?

[redBoobergurl]

Thanks Ziffel, you are also very kind. I just read your thread about difficult people and I'm currently thinking through some responses.

 

[BEAR]

Beth, I wish I could give you some good advice, but you have already been given some great ideas. I would just be repeating what they say. All I can say is, be honest. Don't be afraid to speak up if it's really eating you away inside. The sooner you do it, the better. Speak from the heart.

 

[redBoobergurl]

A little update - we talked briefly this morning and agreed to have coffee together after our church choir practice tonight. She admits that she does miss me so I feel that's a step in the right direction. I'm just going to talk to her from my heart tonight and can only hope it will help a little bit. I'll let you all know how it goes. Again thanks to everyone for your thoughts on this, (((HUGS))) to all of you.

 

[MartyMuppets]

Wonderful Beth. May the Lord continue to bless and guide you and your friend in this matter

 

[CensoredAlso]

Good for you, hope all goes well!

 

[MrsPepper]

Hey Beth! Sorry if I'm a little late. I was just going to say, that I've been through a very similar situation, and it hurts. You don't really know what to think until you're past it all looking back. It's relaly good that you are going out to coffee with her. Just try to be open. Don't be accusatory or anything. Maybe you don't like this one girl, but one suggestion is, you could ask to be involved once that whole group (not just your best friend and her new friend, more people too) does something. Maybe you'll like some of her other friends. Also, about the instant messaging thing, I'd say, suggest gently that since you don't see her too often, would she mind turning off her phone so that you guys can enjoy what little time you have. :/ That's my two cents of course, I don't know if it helps. If you want to talk more, don't be shy to PM me! You're an amazing member of MC and somebody who I always look up to (and look forward to seeing!), so I hope it all works out, and let me know if there's anything I can help you with. **giant huggles**

 

[redBoobergurl]

Thank you so much Mrs. Pepper! BIG HUGS to you, I miss seeing you around here as much, you're one of my favorite people here! I really appreciate your thoughts and I'll definately take you up on the offer to PM you sometime if I want to talk it out.

So here's the good news.

We went out last night and had a nice long talk. It went really well! We talked out everything and she was very understanding. We've renewed our friendship so to speak and we're going to try and do this every week after choir, just our own time together. She's also invited me to a party that the new group is having and told me she really wants me to be there so I'm going to give it a try.

I just wanted to thank you all again for your thoughts and advice. I really appreciate it. You guys are my online family so it's nice to know I can turn to you for anything and you'll be there! (((HUGS))) again to all of you!!

 

[Ziffel]

That is so wonderful to hear, Beth! Thanks for sharing that update. So glad it went so well. I figured she would be understanding and receptive since she's such a good and lifelong friend, and since any friend of yours must be something special. And it shows once again the importance of open communication in relationships. It feels great to clear the air and be able to be completely open and honest, while doing so in a spirit of respect and gentleness (the key being each person knows that the other person loves and cares about them).
I think that's one of the big reasons for why my engagement with my fiance came to an end: Not enough good communication. Not to put it all on her, but often times when I really needed to address some concerns I had about a couple of issues we hadn't resolved she would say things like, "Can you please just not worry about it" and "Arrgh do we have to talk about this now?" On the other hand, I certainly failed in the "spirit of gentleness" at times.
Once again, so happy it went so well for you. Having some together time for just the two of you is special and important. And I also think it will be good for you to go to that group event too. Please give us an update on how that goes too.

 

[BEAR]

Yay, Beth!!!

 

[Ilikemuppets]

That's good beth! I hope it's gets better for you and your friend from now on!