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A Nest Divided: A Sam the Eagle Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by charlietheowl, Aug 13, 2012.

  1. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you for reading! Sam's son, along with his daughter, went to the University of Virginia as it was FAMILY TRADITION (and they got a faculty member's discount from Mrs. Eagle) but more importantly it was FAMILY TRADITION. Maybe Andrew will cross paths with Dr. Van Neuter once he gets to Los Angeles and the rest of the Muppets.

    As for their names, I chose them because I got the feeling that Sam and Matty would like their children to have very formal sounding names, but nothing too stuffy. Nice strong names.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  2. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    ONce again, you fail me Mup Cen for not telling me Charlie had written another story. Especially when I'm following the guy!

    Never been a fan of Sam (always too stoic for me), but I'm liking where you're taking the guy. And maybe that's because I'm at the age where young whippersnappers don't know the first thing about awesomeness and other things that were cool (like the 80's. The 80's were awesomely cool)

    Glad you're back, CTO!
  3. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you! Sam may have known how to raise his children well when they were seven, but twenty-two is proving to be a bit of a challenge.
    GopherCoffee and Fragglemuppet like this.
  4. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    It might be Labor Day, but that won't stop me from updating. Enjoy Chapter Four.

    "Hi-ho. Kermit the Frog here."​
    "Hello Kermit."​
    "Sam, what a surprise. I didn't expect to hear from you during your vacation. Is everything all right?"​
    "Well, that's what I'm calling about."​
    "Did something happen?"​
    "Possibly. I wanted to let you know that Andrew and Hillary will be coming back to Los Angeles with me."​
    A pause. Sam could hear Kermit put his hand over the other end of the phone and talk to someone in the background. ​
    "Wow, Sam. I wasn't expecting that, but we would love to have them spend some time with us here."​
    "Will there be room in the house or should I place them in local group homes for troubled youth?"​
    "Don't be silly, we have room. Zoot and Lips moved out into the pool house, so we have a spare room for Andrew, and Hillary can stay with Annie Sue."​
    "That's good. We'll be leaving Virginia in a couple of weeks."​
    "We can't wait to see you guys. It's been ages since you had the kids come visit. It will be a lot of fun to see them around the theater."​
    "I'll be making them get real jobs if you don't mind, something they can be proud of, something that will teach them the values of hard work."​
    "The Muppet Theater does that just fine! But regardless, it'll be fun seeing them around the house, and we always have space for two more in the theater should that be what they want."​
    "I've got to go Kermit, but thank you for approving this move."​
    "No problem Sam. See you soon."​
    Kermit placed his cell phone down on the table and turned to Miss Piggy, who had paused their movie.​
    "Can you believe that? Sam is bringing his kids back with him."​
    "His kids? Aren't they all grown now?"​
    "Yeah, I think they just graduated from college."​
    "Shouldn't they be working or something?"​
    "I think that's the point of them coming with him, they can't find jobs."​
    "Well, I could use a new assistant or two…"​
    "I don't think Sam will go for that."​
    Three weeks later….
    Sam stood on his front steps, tapping his clawed feet up and down impatiently. He was supposed to leave for the airport with his children at 9:00 AM, and it was 9:10. Ten minutes down the drain, that could have been valuable time if they had hit a traffic jam, needed to stop to use the bathroom, or had been swept away by the wind. He opened the front door again; no sign of his children.​
    "Andrew! Hillary! What are you two doing?"​
    A duffel bag was tossed near Sam's person, nearly knocking him over.​
    "Hey Dad! I just couldn't decide what to bring with me, how many pairs of socks I needed, how many comic books, how many of my taxidermy tools. I was up all night last night!"​
    "You cannot bring taxidermy tools on the plane! They won't get through security. Do you want to be on the No-Fly list! Have to take a bus everywhere?"​
    "Didn't think of that! Maybe I'll have Mom ship them to me later on. Mom! Mom!" Andrew scurried back into the house, leaving a pile of bags in the doorway. Sam grabbed them and put them in the trunk of the SUV he was renting. He sighed all the way.​
    What in the world was he doing to with Andrew in Los Angeles? He hadn't even meant to invite the kids out there; it just slipped from his mouth in frustration. But the kids had been for it; Andrew thought it would be a great change of scenery, and give him the opportunity to sightsee and visit different beaches, while Hillary seemed to have no real opinion either way. Neither of them seemed to be interested in actually working.​
    Matty thought it was worth a try if that was what the kids wanted to do. She agreed that Andrew could have a chance at finding employment in Los Angeles, and that a change of place might do Hillary some good. She was sad to see her children leave; it had been a long time since she lived without having anyone else at home. The nest was empty now, and it might not ever be filled again, but that was how life worked. People grow up and move on.​
    Sam shuffled slowly out to the car, double-checking his own luggage for what was probably the twelfth time that morning. Everything was in its right place, just like he wanted. That feeling of everything being in the right place was not going to last. There was so much he had to account for once in Los Angeles; he had to help Andrew and Hillary find jobs, he had to make them want to work, he had to make sure that they kept their distance from some of the most unsavory characters in the boarding house, and he had to continue working at his job as moral center of the Muppet Theater. A lot of responsibility was suddenly under his wings.​
    The front door cracked open again, sending all three eagles outside. Matty and Hillary carried her bags to the car, while Andrew ambled outside sipping on an incongruously large coffee.​
    "I imagine we're going to have to make a stop for the bathroom on our way to the airport, seeing as you're drinking coffee out of an oil tanker there."​
    "Yeah, probably."​
    Sam shook his head, then shifted his focus to Hillary and Matty, who were placing the luggage in the trunk. "Is that everything?"​
    "Yes, Dad." Hillary made her way into the car.​
    "She seems to be a bit more talkative recently."​
    Matty nodded as she closed the trunk. "I think she's a bit excited to go to Los Angeles, though she won't really admit it."​
    "That's good. Are you going to be all right by yourself?"​
    "I think so. I'll miss the kids, but they could use some space and new surroundings. It's time they live on their own. But Sam, you have to promise me something now. Let them make their own mistakes. Guide them to the right thing but don't force it on them."​
    "I'll do my best."​
    Matty caught the uncertainty in Sam's eyes. "You better." She gave him a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. "I love you, Sam. Don't let me down."​
    "I'll do my best."​
    "Thank you." Matty then scurried into the car to say her last goodbyes to the kids, while Sam went back into the house one last time. He didn't need to double-check anything now; this was just to compose himself before the journey began. It was too late now to back out of anything.​
    "It's going to be all right," he said to no one in particular. It didn't sound too convincing.​
    Coming up in Chapter Five: A new season at the Muppet Theater kicks off, and Andrew and Hillary are welcomed to the Muppet Boarding House.​
  5. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    "group home for troubled youth" ...LOL.

    Oh dear. Why do I hear the Theme Music of Impending Comic Doom?

  6. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    I promise that chapter five will be more humorous than the first four. Everyone gets excited for new arrivals at the boarding house.
  7. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    I now present Chapter Five, as the action shifts to Los Angeles.

    "Would you like anything else to eat?"​
    "No thanks, Kermit," mumbled Andrew in between mouthfuls of potato salad. "I'm good."​
    Sam spooned some baked beans onto his plate while rolling his eyes at his son's bad table manners. He obviously had forgotten everything from his after-school manners symposium in fifth grade! ​
    The first day at the Muppet Boarding House had been a bit of an adventure. Andrew ran throughout the house, introducing himself to every Muppet he could find, trying to make as many friends as possible. His bags sat in his room, unpacked as he did this, leaving Sam to place all his clothes in the closet and toiletries in the bathroom.​
    Sam was disgusted to have found his son playing the kazoo with Dr. Teeth, helping Beauregard fold the laundry, and cutting a rug with Skeeter to some sort of jazz music. Clearly his son was falling under the bad moral influence of the Muppets! The prospect of employment was the only thing that was going to stave off further moral erosion.​
    "Hillary, do you need anything else?"​
    "I'd like a little more salad, please."​
    Hillary was doing better. She still was quiet, but the dour sadness that reigned over her in Virginia dissipated. Annie Sue helped her unpack, and Skeeter and Janice stopped in to their room for a chat before dinner. Sam was hoping that some more time in the city would do her well. Perhaps she would meet some nice people once she got a nice job.​
    Kermit passed the salad down the table, crossing the paws and hands of several Muppets, who all managed to resist picking out the croutons before it reached the other end of the table.​
    "Thank you."​
    Conversation flowed fast and freely across the dining room table.​
    "So Andrew, have you ever considered working in the theater with us? I could use an assistant helping me write jokes since Gags Beasley quit to become a monk."​
    "I've got a joke for you, Fozzie. How do you make kitty litter?"​
    "I don't know."​
    "Hide her trash can!"​
    "Hahaha! That's great! Can I use that in the show?"​
    "Sure! Glad to be a help to you! Let me know if you need anything else."​
    Sam let a bite of coleslaw fall off his fork in shock at hearing his son suggest jokes for Fozzie.​
    "You gonna eat that!??" yelled Crazy Harry, but Sam's attention honed in his son, paying Harry no heed as he snatched the coleslaw off the table.​
    "Andrew will not have the time to work in the theater, since he will have an upstanding job. I believe the grocery store down the street is hiring stockers."​
    Andrew shrugged his shoulders, as if to say "okay", then turned his attention towards Gonzo, who was demonstrating his latest stunt with two tortilla chips and a spoonful of salsa.​
    Hillary was watching as well, though she paid as much attention to Gonzo as Camilla's emotional reactions. Whatever this stunt was she disapproved of it.​
    "Camilla, I'd use an electric lawn mower. No gasoline fumes!"​
    Their repartee was interrupted by Kermit tapping his fork against his glass. "Excuse me, everybody. I'd like to say a few words."​
    Piggy stood up. "Pipe down, bums! Let the frog speak."​
    "Thank you, Piggy. First, I'd like to welcome everybody back from their summer break, it's great to see everyone back home."​
    A chorus of excitement erupted from the crowd.​
    "Secondly, I'd like to welcome Sam's children, Andrew and Hillary to the house. They'll be staying for awhile with us, so I'd like everyone to help them feel at home."​
    Another cheer erupted from the table.​
    "Now down to business. Tomorrow we start filming on the second season of our show. Our network has moved us to Thursday nights, so they've shown a lot of faith in us, and I want to show them that was a good idea. Let's all bring our best material to the theater tomorrow so we can start off the year with a good effort!"​
    "Who's the guest?"​
    Kermit smiled. "I am proud to announce that Paul McCartney will be our special guest star for the season premier."​
    A collective gasp came from everyone.​
    "Wow, Kermie. You got a real live Beatle to come work with us!"​
    "He's a lot better than the beetles we had on there last season. Sweetums almost fell on them."​
    "Sorry, boss. I didn't see them."​
    "Let's move on. Rehearsals start tomorrow at 10 AM, and I want everyone to bring their best ideas, so we can have some great acts to show Mr. McCartney!"​
    The table soon filled with chatter about songs and musical numbers, as a sense of anticipation grew for the start of the season.​
    Andrew leaned over towards his dad. "Wow! Paul McCartney! I had no idea you guys worked with such big stars. Maybe I'll get to meet him."​
    "Perhaps. But tomorrow morning I am taking you and your sister to the grocery store to look for a job. You guys need to be productive while you are here."​
    "But the Muppets are more fun!"​
    Coming up in Chapter Six: The Eagle children start up at the grocery store, and Wayne and Wanda give Sam headaches at the Muppet Theater.
  8. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Grocery shop?! Screw that, I'm working with the Muppets!
  9. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Sam doesn't want to make the Muppets a "family business". In his eyes, stocking shelves is much more noble and respectable.
  10. AlittleMayhem

    AlittleMayhem Well-Known Member

    Well, of course! :attitude:
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  11. Twisted Tails

    Twisted Tails Well-Known Member

    The Andrew kid reminds me of a boy named Brandon I kind of befriended with when I was a teenager who loves to play and sometimes doesn't take things too serioiusly. Oh well, great story, Charlie! I cannot wait to what happens next to Sam and his children in the next chapter.
    GopherCoffee and charlietheowl like this.
  12. Slackbot

    Slackbot Well-Known Member

    I finally have gotten caught up on this story. It's very good work, but with every single chapter I want to swat Sam in the face with a wet mop. It won't do any good, but I wanna do it anyway. But instead I'll let him find out how much good his holier-than-thou attitude is going to do. Hopefully he won't end up pushing his offspring away completely.

    Actually, this may end up doing them some good, because they'll be around the Muppets, who will of course be good influences on them. Stop laughing; I mean that they're a good example of tolerance. They tolerate the heck out of Sam.

    (Psst! I bet Beauregard has a closet full of wet mops!)
  13. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Sam's more insecure than he lets in the face of his blustery ways. He wants the best for his kids, but he really doesn't know any other to show it other than being uptight and pushing his kids down what he thinks is the right direction. It worked for him, so it should work for his children. But his children will be around the Muppets a lot more than would be ideal for him (I don't think that qualifies as a spoiler).
  14. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Ahhhh that's more like it. A nice dinner, some light conversatio---gaaahhh!
    *:news: is thwopped in face with a wet mop*

    :news: *spluttering* Not ME, you weirdos! The OTHER beaky guy! *grumbling* You'd think they'd notice I'm not BLUE...

    :oops: Oh! Uh...well then what do you call it? Depressed?

    :news: *SCOWL*

    ...Loved this chapter. The detail about Muppets resisting the urge to steal croutons was very cute. Of course, one shudders to think what else may have ended up IN the salad by the time it reached the far end of the table...

    Sir Paul! Wow! Oh this IS going to be good. Though I must admit I always thought Ringo was probably a very tall Muppet. Hot off his Olympic gig to the Muppet Show!...er, sorry Paul...they can't ALL be sane gigs...
  15. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  16. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Chapter Six
    "Good morning and welcome to the Four Seasons Market. My name is Melissa. How may I help you today?"​
    "I'd like to talk to the manager regarding employment."​
    "What job would you be interested in, sir?"​
    "It's not for me, it's for my children."​
    Melissa looked skeptical. "Shouldn't they be applying themselves?"​
    "They're still getting out of the car. It takes them awhile. Just tell the manager that Sam the Eagle is here to see him."​
    Melissa went to the back of the store to find her manager, while Andrew and Hillary shuffled into the sleepy little market, which was barely alive with customers at ten in the morning on a Wednesday. Andrew immediately cut for the candy display, while Hillary stood silently next to Sam.​
    "Andrew! It's too early for sugar!"​
    "But Dad, they might have that coconut flavored gum I was looking for!"​
    "I can get you some gum later! Now the manager will be out here any minute, so please wait over here."​
    "Ah-ha! I'm gonna need like five packs!"​
    Andrew, hands full of gum, walked over to Sam and Hillary, while a tall, lanky woodpecker emerged from the back of the store, carrying a clipboard and a dour look.​
    "There's Alexander! Straighten up."​
    Hillary leaned over towards her father. "How do you know him?"​
    "Regional Town Management Meetings. We both sat on the board last year."​
    "Why hello Sam!" The woodpecker's dour look lifted suddenly as he clasped an arm around Sam's back, either ignoring or not realizing Sam's squirming. "Long time no see."​
    "Hello, Alexander. Nice to see you."​
    "So these are your kids."​
    "Yes, these are my children."​
    "Looks like they'll make GREAT workers as long as they have that old Eagle work ethic."​
    "They certainly do." Sam shot a glare at his kids as if to say they better have that work ethic or else.​
    "Well, guys. Are you ready to start working?"​
    Hillary shrugged her shoulders while Andrew merely questioned, "Where do I go to buy this gum?"​
    "I'll give you the gum! Just come on back with me and I'll get you two your uniforms and set you up with some shelf stocking. Really exciting stuff! Nothing like seeing those boxes all neat and organized!"​
    His kids shuffled off while Sam smiled. He had accomplished his biggest task since coming back to the boarding house; his kids were out of there and into the workplace. They could save up a few bucks and learn about hard work. This would give Hillary something to do until she went back to school, and perhaps Andrew could make a career out of it. There was always a need for new managers. People got old. They retired, or moved on to other things. Andrew could step in there.​
    Meanwhile, back at the studio, everyone was buzzing. Not only was it the season premiere, but Paul McCartney was the guest star. He had one of the deepest songbooks of all time, so everyone was picking and choosing for their hopeful numbers.​
    The Electric Mayhem was making their way through a rehearsal of "Band On The Run", and Scooter was working with to create a stage display for a prospective opening number with a prison theme. Piggy was planning to belt out "My Love", and was attempting to pull Rowlf away from his rehearsals of "Golden Slumbers" to help arrange her number. In the orchestra pit, Nigel was attempting to get Wayne and Wanda on the same page and in the same key on their number when Sam wandered in.​
    "Look Wayne, you have to sing in a higher key here! I'm not Stevie Nicks. I don't do raspy."​
    "I'm trying! I'm trying! This is a hard song."​
    "Nigel, can't you get me somebody else to sing with? What's Thog doing? He's got some nice pipes."​
    "Thog's working out a dance routine to "Maybe I'm Amazed", so he's out of the picture."​
    "What about Beauregard? He doesn't need to be sweeping all the time!"​
    "Oh hello Sam. Good to see you."​
    While Sam didn't really manage Wayne and Wanda anymore, he still kept an eye on them, as he felt they had the potential to be the most civilized act on the show. They always fell on their faces, but Sam could never give up on them. Their next act might be the breakthrough one.​
    "Hello everyone. What are you up to?"​
    Nigel acted as public relations man, as Wayne and Wanda were still peeved at each other.​
    "Wayne and Wanda are working the kinks out of their latest number."​
    "No we're not! Ray Davies was on last season!"​
    Nigel shot Wayne the evil eye.​
    "They're struggling with their song."​
    Sam sighed, though this was to be expected. "What did they choose?"​
    "Maxwell's Silver Hammer."​
    Sam scratched his chin. "Haven't heard that one before." Though he wasn't a fan of rock music, it was hard to live in Los Angeles without encountering it, so he knew a handful of songs.​
    Nigel raised his conductor's baton and the duo started belting, Wanda first.​
    "Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical​
    science in the home​
    late nights all alone with her test tube​
    oh, oh, oh, oh"​
    Sam nodded to himself. A song about educated people. This could something I approve.​
    Wayne took the next verse.​
    "Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine​
    calls her on the phone​
    'Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan?'​
    But as she's getting ready to go​
    a knock comes on the door"​
    The two attempted to combine voices for the chorus, but did so in the way a car and a wall combine after an accident.​
    "Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer​
    came down upon her head​
    Clang clang Maxwell's silver hammer​
    made sure that she was dead."​
    Sam was appalled. "STOP! STOP! Stop at once! This is disgusting. You chose to sing a song about murderers? Where are your morals? Your values?"​
    Wayne looked puzzled. "That's what this song is about?"​
    "Wayne and I wanted to try something edgier, to separate ourselves from everyone's love songs. You have to get attention somehow, right Nigel?"​
    "Yeah." Nigel didn't even bother looking up from his cell phone as Sam lectured.​
    "Well I will not stand for this disgusting number one bit! You better change to another song promptly."​
    Beauregard strolled by, carrying a giant box.​
    "Wayne, Wanda, where do you want me to put this big hammer?"​
    "Arrrrgh!" Sam walked towards his dressing room in a huff.​
    "Gee, what's with him?"​
    Coming up next in Chapter Seven: Everyone heads down to see Andrew and Hillary (and get some food), and Rowlf has a side project.​
  17. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Bursts laughing. That was a good song for W&W. *Sees it now, a big silver metal hammer crashing down on the duo. And then you add Sam's reaction, priceless.
    GopherCoffee and charlietheowl like this.
  18. WebMistressGina

    WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    True story - it took me years to realize what that song was about. It was seriously a Family Guy moment when I heard it several times and still didn't get it.

    Listen. "Wait a minute..."

    Listen. "Hold the phone."

    Listen. "What's happening here?"

    Listen. "Just a second."

    Until finally, "holy fish paste! This is about a serial killer! Why am I listening to this!?"

    Much of the songs from my childhood I've discovered are not what they seemed.

    Needless to say, I pretty much had Sam's reaction when reality dawned on me.

    Can't wait to see what zaniness Sir Paul is going to encounter. And if thought John and Ringo were handfuls...
  19. charlietheowl

    charlietheowl Well-Known Member

    Thank you guys! I was listening to this song the other day and it just screamed Wayne and Wanda, though knowing their past, I doubt Kermit would let them even approach the dress rehearsal with this number.
    GopherCoffee and Fragglemuppet like this.
  20. Twisted Tails

    Twisted Tails Well-Known Member

    I fogot to reply earlier, but since I am a Beatles fan, like oh my gosh Wayne & Wanda doing Maxell's Silver Hammer was hilarious. I loved Sam's reaction! I knew he wasn't pleased with their song chpoice. Oh well, I loved this chapter, oh and uh, more please.
    GopherCoffee and charlietheowl like this.

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