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From the Waters of the West I Come

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by RedPiggy, Jul 9, 2012.

  1. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Some fan vids that might help get the feel:

    Holy moley I think someone posted it on youtube ...

    That's volume 1 chapter 1, but I'm not gonna spam this post up with whatever else the user on youtube posted.
  2. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Chapter 4

    Mizumi marched into the throne room, where glistening silver drapes hung from the high ceiling.

    The king, sitting on his throne of smooth pearl, looked up from a stack of cups resting on a nearby table. “My dearest daughter,” he began solemnly, “have you returned from your pursuit of the toads?”

    Mizumi quickened her pace and keeled in front of him. “Your Majesty, I had come to tell you of --.”

    “—Of the obvious, no doubt: that toads are disgusting creatures fouling the waters of Moraine?”

    Mizumi stared at the polished marble floor to avoid glaring at her father, for she had no wish to be chided today about her self-righteousness. She grit her teeth. “My father is, as always, wise and intelligent enough to discover the workings of his kingdom so easily.”

    The king smiled and leaned back. “True, my precious heir. You are ignorant only because you lack the skill. Fortunately, skills can be taught.” He snapped his fingers and the boot-licking servant approached from a far door. “Esker, what of the toads?”

    Esker, the boot-licking servant not fit to steam laundry, bowed, avoiding even the briefest glance in Mizumi’s direction. “Your Majesty, the McMooch family name appears in all accounts.”

    The king rubbed his chin in thought. “The McMooch family? Slimy creatures of the night waters, but of no real concern to me. The Cup of Moraine must not be quick to confuse the reflection for the person staring at the lake. What evidence is presented?”

    Esker sighed. “There appears to be an economic element, though those sickened deny doing business with toads.”

    The king frowned and stood. Glancing at Mizumi, he beckoned them to come forth. As they kneeled at his feet, he placed a hand on Mizumi’s head. “The future Cup of Moraine cannot yet hold her water.” He turned to Esker. “She shall be in charge of stopping the suffering of Moraine when she has been properly taught how to express the waters within her.”

    Esker bowed his head. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

    When they left the throne room, Mizumi stretched out her arm, stopping him. Glaring at him with piercing eyes, she hissed, “I am the future Cup of Moraine, Beloved Lady of the Lake, Sister to the Society of Rivers, and your superior in all ways. Why am I not being tutored by the king himself?”

    Esker smirked. “A busy king cannot be trifled with teaching remedial classes in magic, Milady.”

    “I shall have you drowned,” Mizumi growled.

    Esker caressed Mizumi’s cheek, frosting it and making her jerk back in pain. “Milady, legal rank is of little concern to me. Only those with an intimate knowledge of the Heart of Moraine may govern me.”

    Mizumi rubbed her cheek hard to warm it again, and looked away. “Give me this heart so that I may consume it for myself.”

    He chuckled and bade her to leave the castle, for its walls could never hold back the entire lake.

    After an hour of walking, Mizumi and Esker reached a small pool beset in black rock, overflowing with bright green ivy. “Take the water in your hand, Milady,” Esker stated calmly.

    Mizumi sat by the pool and dipped her hand, watching the water therein glisten and tremble with every movement.

    “What does the water say to you?” Esker asked.

    Mizumi exhaled slowly and closed her eyes. After a few moments she threw down the water in shock.

    Esker smiled.

    Mizumi growled at him, “What is the meaning of this?”

    “You tell me, Princess.”

    Mizumi glared at the pool, her features softening. “It was as though I was being scraped with obsidian crystals all throughout my body.”

    “The pain of Moraine,” Esker replied, nodding. “Did it tell you anything else?”

    Mizumi stood, hugging herself, a look of worry upon her face. “I … I saw … I,” she stammered, glancing away. “I cannot bring myself to say it.” Finally, she turned toward Esker. “What has it told you?”

    Esker approached her and caressed her hair tenderly. “I am instructed to govern my words, Princess, or risk losing them altogether.” He sighed and patted her on the shoulder. “Now that you hold water, Milady, we must ensure you can command it.”
  3. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *Always glad to find something of yours Kelly. Esker... About time he was made known for whom he was. The line about Mizumi wanting the heart so she could devour it, do I detect a small hint of KH there? Maybe why she'll become obsessed with another heart later?

    The fact that the McMooch dealings are "complicated" by an economic factor and the Morainians denying it, that's part of the shady black market desperate people and unscrupulous merchants contract between each other. Hope more gets posted when possible.

    BTW: Have you seen the Silent Hill trailers up on Filmforce?
  4. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    LOL, well, it occurred to me that Mizumi in RTL could technically qualify as a Nobody, what with the icy personality and the all-white accessories. :)

    I stopped the chapter here because I've been busy at work and haven't had a lot of time to muse on the exact nature of things regarding the problems experienced by Moraine. I kinda know who I want to be behind the curtain, as it were, but I haven't quite decided yet the motivations of the one involved. I have to make sure it explains some of Mizumi's personality. We already see her as proud, though more caring than she usually is in RTL. She has a strong sense of morality even if she can be haughty, especially with Esker. I think she genuinely cares for the people of Moraine but treats Esker badly because she feels he assumes too much and in her mind she is only worth the heart of the most powerful being in existence ....

    Of COURSE I've seen the trailer, LOL! They have clearly changed a lot, but I don't really mind the changes I've seen so far. I only really care about the movie keeping Vincent's mindscrew statement to Heather, but I'm not going to fanrant about how Heather discovers Detective Douglas at a high school instead of the mall or how Vincent is trapped by Nurses instead of taunting Heather in a run-down library or office. There are a lot of quiet moments in the third game. If they were doing the plot of Silent Hill 2, I would want them to be less action-oriented and more pensive, but this is based off Silent Hill 3 (and a bit of Origins, I think), and Heather fancies herself an action girl. I realize the symbolism of Pyramid Head, but since he seems to be related to the cult of Valtiel, I won't cry foul over them apparently using PH instead of Valtiel. As long as the gist is similar I don't whine over details, especially if the changes can be justified.

    Finding out there is going to be a live action Ruroni Kenshin, however, nearly made me faint with joy.... :D
  5. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Good, as long as the edits are minor compared to your enjoyment and you come out of it satisfied, that's the important thing. That's how I felt with the movie versions of Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows Part 1, mostly satisfied and giving both an A- grade in my fannish appreciation, even if I think they overhyped the "burning of the Burrow", skimped on the Battle of the Lightning-Scarred Tower in HBP, and then the whole wedding in DH1 when there's been no presence of the married couple's involvement in prior films. Unfortunately, Deathly Hallows Part 2 left me feeling just kind of okay, giving it a B- grade.

    My only anime fandom is Onepiece, though I have to go to their Wiki and read up on what's happened from Punk Hazard onwards.
    As far as movies, I rully hope BJ2 does get made, I'd be interested in what new scenes of the Neitherworld and its denizens we could get, maybe cause I'm digging what newsmanfan has been creating with her MMN TV station in her current fic.
    Hope to read more when you've gotten the path decided. :jim:
  6. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Chapter 5

    Mizumi could not let go of her impressions after communing with the water. If that was the pain of the kingdom she felt, how could her parents even live with such agony?

    And of course, there was the shadow of a wildly flapping bird looming over her head.

    Esker glanced at her as they rode a carriage down a waterfall. “Did you recognize the bird?”

    Mizumi turned away from him, her lips quivering. “I … I … it was dark, this vision,” she replied softly. “It was so frantic I could not even dream of identifying the bird I saw.”

    Esker smirked and nodded. “I see.”

    Mizumi willed her tears to stop before they could run down her cheek. “Do you ever regret seeing what is in the water?” she whispered.

    Esker held out his hand, freezing the waterfall, suspending the carriage halfway down. He turned toward the princess, his eyes filled with concern and tenderness. “Milady, regrets are for fools.”

    Mizumi shook her head. “Have we no hope?”

    Esker laughed. “For what does hope really accomplish, Princess?” He turned her head toward the lowest of the boulders. “Down there, in the depths of the kingdom, a poison is spreading. I’m a doer, not a dreamer. While dreamers sleep through their creative solutions, those of us awake must actually work to accomplish something.” He dried her tears with his hand. “Are you going to continue sleeping, Princess, or are you going to wake and take charge of the problems staring at you over your bed?”

    Mizumi shuddered and nodded. “I shall never sleep again.”

    He smiled and melted the frozen pillar of ice so they could continue. “As you wish, Milady.”

    It seemed an eternity before Esker reached the lake itself. He stopped Mizumi from approaching the lake’s shore. “It has reached even here, Milady,” he told her sullenly. “Better keep your distance.”

    Mizumi frowned and headed towards the shore anyway.

    A flying shard of ice burst from the surface of the lake, heading straight for Mizumi, who shrieked and clenched shut her eyes. It was far too fast, she thought to herself.

    And the pain never came.

    Slowly opening her eyes, a beaming Esker had his arm outstretched. She, meanwhile, returned her gaze to the frozen shard, hovering inches from her nose.

    Esker grunted. “Can you solve the problems of the kingdom without any defenses?”

    Mizumi frowned. “You risk your princess’ life?”

    Esker threw down his arm, leaving the ice shard to shatter on the rocks. “Do you consider me cruel, Princess?” he taunted. “Am I the heir to the Cup, so willing to place myself in danger, so thoughtless, so impulsive, that I risk the health of the kingdom?”

    Mizumi crossed her arms, glaring, and slowly kneeled before Esker. “Shall I pray?” she asked mockingly, her lips forming a sarcastic sneer. “Shall I beg the lake for communion?”

    Esker growled. “Have you learned nothing in your royal studies?” He waved his arms around. “This lake is expansive, the reservoir of magic for the entire kingdom! Even then, Milady, it is just part of it, not all of it! Is not the air you breathe humid?”

    Mizumi considered his reply, her eyes brightening as she stood. “The air has water in it.”

    Esker smiled. “Yes, Milady.” He beckoned her. “Here, where the air is thick with moisture, you are enveloped in its grace. The question is, how shall you exploit it?”

    “A defensive shield, perhaps?”

    Esker nodded and shrugged. “Indeed, Princess, but to form that much water from the air takes too long. My ice shards shall impale you before you can form a shield the size of a brooch.”

    Mizumi scowled.

    Esker shook his head in pity. “You are no fighter. At least, not yet. Still, perhaps your hope can help you. After all, you fought me to obtain recognition of the moisture in the air.”

    She clenched her jaw. “Hardly. I merely thought it.”

    Esker grinned.

    Soon Esker was tumbling to the ground, screaming as his head started to peel and flake as his skin dried. When the pain stopped, he looked up and saw a smiling Mizumi, playfully watching a wisp play around her fingers. “And now your thoughts are mine,” she told him.
  7. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Sorry, didn't know there was a new chappy waiting. Interesting talk and tactics between Mizumi and Esker. So he slipped from earlier when he said he shouldn't say too much as his words would betray him, and here they have.
    For those keeping score at home, that's Mizumi: 1, Esker: 0.

    So this would be the first ice battle he loses to a princess of Moraine. Intereschting, hope to read more if you gots it.
    *Hovers above on bat-goblin glider cobbled from Wayne and Oscorp tech, flying off to other fics.
    Twisted Tails likes this.
  8. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Chapter 6

    Mizumi stopped the next day in the hallway leading to the Room of the River of Time, cradling her stomach as though she were going to be sick.

    She saw herself from afar, bathing in a crystal clear pool, attended by mermaids. The hard panting she heard was a male’s voice.

    She shook her head, trying to dispel the vision, culled from Esker’s mind last night. It kept showing itself despite her attempts to ignore it, this awful sensation that she was merely prey for some unwanted predator.

    How dare Esker have such thoughts? she wondered to herself. How could her father spare such an insolent creature as this? She was but a small child in that vision, having no clear signs of anything other than the blandness of the immature form.

    Esker had to be punished.

    She finally entered the Room of the River of Time, desperate to speak to the head hydromancer. The hydromancer was charged with drawing the River of Time, a swirling flow of history encompassing past, present, and future.

    The hydromancer was a tall, thin, dishevelled elderly woman with long pointed ears and gnarled knuckles. The being looked up from her paintings and grunted.

    “I am far too old to keep redrawing this River, Mizumi,” she scowled.

    Mizumi kneeled in front of her, sobbing. “I … I must know … the source of such cruel visions. You must tell me.” She paused, realizing what the hydromancer had said. “Ydro, benevolent and generous keeper of time, why do you say such a thing to me?”

    Ydro put down her brush, slapping the table and standing angrily, her knees wobbling. “Every time you quest for something, I have to draw and redraw the River of Time. Even the king grows weary of my constant attempts to keep the stories straight! Aside from the ancient King of the Universe, no one has altered time as often as you!” She sat back down and sighed wearily. “I grow fatigued, Milady Mizumi, of chronicling your misadventures so often.” She groaned. “I am old and frail, Heir to the Cup of Moraine. You must do your time keeper some favor and let go of your wishes before the River ceases to be at all.”

    Mizumi stood, wiping away her tears, sniffling. “Am I destined, then, to destroy our kingdom?”

    Ydro sighed and rubbed her temples. “You are guilty, Mizumi, quite frankly, of being discontented with the path your river takes. You flood its banks frequently because you search for things that shall never be, and in the meantime, your riverbed is left unguarded and dried up.”

    “Is there nothing I can do?”

    “Your father certainly hopes so,” Ydro replied, crossing her arms. “Your father is a powerful ruler, trying to help you become everything you are to be.” Smirking, she continued, “However, that’s the problem, isn’t it?” She sighed and stared at the glowing river floating in the air behind her, swirling and changing and glistening as static scenes occasionally displayed themselves in the currents. “He cannot stay the hand of destiny, Daughter of Moraine.” Glancing back at Mizumi, she smiled warmly. “Neither can you, no matter how hard you try.”

    Mizumi glanced at a small red book with curved engravings on the cover. “What is that?”

    “It’s a book. They’re rare here in Moraine,” Ydro replied sullenly. “Keep it if you wish. I was merely curious about its contents, but I suppose there is a reason we do not stoop to using mere sheets of paper to record our histories.”

    Mizumi picked up the book, titled A History of Missed Opportunities. She glanced up at Ydro. “A false timeline?” When Ydro nodded, Mizumi caressed the cover. “Your gift is accepted. May it bring me wisdom.”

    Ydro raised an eyebrow. “Will it?” she asked in sincere surprise.

    Mizumi smiled. “You say I cannot stay the hand of destiny, so I shall chart my course using these false alarms as guides.”

    Ydro sighed. “I suppose that could work.”

    Mizumi turned her back on the hydromancer. “Perhaps I can learn how to solve the threat against the kingdom. I must prove my worth as future ruler of Moraine. I must put my father’s mind at ease.”

    After Mizumi left the Room of the River of Time, Ydro sighed and began to draw again, shaking her head. “A mind at ease is quite often the tease. Only shattered hearts will bring light to the dark. For when the Universe is revealed, you’ll see you’d have been happier had the secrets remained sealed.”
    dwmckim and The Count like this.
  9. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Another excellent addition.

    River of Time, now where have I heard that one before? Some international-cultured theme park? With the large rodent?
    Six Flags! No, that's not it.

    So that's where what becomes Moulin's book came from.

    *Nods at Idro's sage prophetic final words. Going through some creative issues myself, I understand what the time-keeper feels.
    Thanks for this. If you'll hexcuse me, there are a couple of things I gotsta check online.
  10. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    I made it up. It may be based off something, but I don't remember, LOL.

    Part of this is inspired by my realization that Mizumi has really screwed with continuity in my ficverse. She goes back in time and messes with prehistory, she contributes to a parallel universe, etc. Anyone keeping track must be awfully confused by now, LOL.
  11. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Well, there's a slow non-eventful water ride called The River of Time in the Mexico pavillion/subrealm of EPCOT's World Showcase. It's the only other ride—if that can be called a ride—apart from The Maelstrom in the Norway pavillion. *Notice how they're both water-themed, pacific versus aggresive. If only the'd gone forward with a planned Mount Fuji bobsled roller coaster in the Japan pavillion, :sigh:, but that's what they got Expedition Everest over at the Animal Kingdom for.

    Confused? With Mizumi's roles in an author's ficverse? *Chuckles. Yep, that book's gonna come in real handy for ya Queen of Cups.
  12. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Ah. Haven't been to WDW in decades, so it could be a random memory of an earlier time.

    My struggle in this fic is to avoid making her the ice cold frigid witch of RTL, but she's also not so vindictive as she is in the Comeback King Saga, what with her wanting to punish Jareth by destroying the past and thus the entire universe, which would negate Sarah by default. I want her to be caring, if a little snooty. I just don't think Jareth was fair in calling her shallow, particularly because Teen Sarah is certainly not deep. I can see why RTL Mizumi is so upset with a King who berates her for wanting pomp and beauty and dumps her for some powerless human girl who wants ... pomp and beauty.

    I'm going back on my Celexa, so I'm hoping it doesn't interfere with this story. I had a bad asthma attack at work and it leaves me on edge. I just have to go back on the stuff. It irks me because I haven't felt like characters were dictating stories to me in awhile, like this one is. The issue with Mizumi's vulernability stems from a plot point not intended but came about anyway, as though she were demanding it be included. I just hope that my muse will last long enough to complete this tale. I already thought of a sequel, where we find out how a more humanoid goblin, Candlewic, appears in the Goblin Kingdom and why he sides with the forces of Moraine.
  13. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Hope you're able to get better from that asthma attack. Thank goodness my dad was still with us when that stuff hit us as well, haven't had an attack since 1991, but I have had other stuff to deal with physiologically.

    Now that you said you're trying to portray Mizumi as snooty yet still showing emotionality, I'd say it is coming across as such. Hauty when pulling the "I'm nobility and you're beneath me" card, but also a touch of true humanity when needed at times. It's turning into a good read, looking forward to more when you're able to get it posted.
  14. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    The thing is, now that I look at it, she's only really snooty to Esker. She saves most of her haughty diatribes for him, but she thinks he is after her heart (for political reasons, most likely, and in the Comeback King Saga it's more pronounced). When she meets some random citizen, she has moments of revulsion but she genuinely cares that her people are suffering. She is torn between wanting to raise Moraine's status and finding her father's method of rule (similar to the problems between Junior and Pa) distasteful.

    edit: And for any new readers of mine, I suggest going to the Fanfictiondotnet version of that story, as apparently the change in MC's structure turned my story into a horrible mess of an ugly thread. Vid links now break up what was once just unobtrusive links, formats are horrible skewed, etc. It's more readable on ff.net.
  15. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Chapter 7

    Upon the lake blue,
    Providing sustenance, too,
    The black heron dives.

    Mizumi knocked on the large pearl doors, covered in frost. The doors opened and Mizumi was greeted with icy mists sweeping out of her mother’s room, bedecked as it was with ice and snow and golden vessels of every sort.

    Mizumi’s mother, a woman of rounded curves and frost-blue hair, hummed casually as her daughter entered.

    “Mother, I request your advice in serious matters,” Mizumi began.

    Her mother smiled and twirled her hair, lounging on a fur-covered chaise. “Your father governs the kingdom with adept skill, young daughter. Perhaps you should be at his side. After all, you are training to be Cup of Moraine, not a side dish.”

    Mizumi bowed at her mother’s feet. “I have concerns I am being played like a lyre.”

    “And this distresses you?”

    Mizumi nodded.

    Her mother plucked a comb made of jewelled coral and attended her daughter’s hair, singing a melody that suggested a leaf casually twirling in the air, “How can, the waters churn, if beaks did, not toward water turn? Spearing fish, grants hunger’s wish. Youngest one, it’s of no concern.

    Mizumi stood and looked away, frowning. “I dislike being manipulated, Mother.”

    The latter laughed. “How silly of you! You are of Moraine! As the river requires banks to flow properly, so too does a lyre only sing when played!”

    Mizumi wheeled around, growling. “I am master of my own destiny!”

    Mizumi’s mother, unflustered, calmly reached for a teacup and sipped it slowly. Inhaling deeply, she remarked, “Tea is most lovely, darling. Have some. Sit, and be merry. You shall deal with the toads and they shall plague us no more.”

    Mizumi’s lip quivered in anger, her face reddening through her white makeup. “I shall not have tea, Mother. I shall save my kingdom, even if my father despoils your name in every hovel.”

    Mizumi’s mother coughed. “My, aren’t we testy today?” Sighing, she noted, “The river feeds the lake, my dear. You are new to the world and everything naturally seems so strange to you.”

    “I am no child, Mother. I see quite clearly.”

    Her mother nodded. “You see, but just as the cave fish can’t grasp a colorful field of flowers in the summertime, you don’t see what you think you’re seeing.” The elder female stood and dusted her frosted gown. Sparkles of ice scattered in the air around her. For the first time, she frowned. “He may be the river, dearest, but I assure you – I am the bank. He cannot flow anywhere I do not permit him.” She approached her daughter and glared at her. “Do not come to me again. Do not go to your father. You are unwelcome in the castle’s main wing until the McMooch family is no more.”
  16. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Chapter 8

    The air was musky, the scent of pond scum forcing even slugs to retch. Mizumi coughed and turned her head, clenching her eyes shut.

    “Hard to know where yer goin’ if you don’t look where yer goin’,” cackled an aged female voice.

    Mizumi opened one eye to find the female toad she had seen earlier, half as tall as she and dressed in the loudest and most gaudy robes ever to have graced the Lake of Moraine. How she kept her clothes so bright and distracting in this murky mudhole was baffling.

    Her first instinct was to crush the throat of this horrid creature, a lump of flesh as disgusting as the wayward goblins that terrorized the Underground. Perhaps toads were goblins, she mused to herself.

    “I take it yer here on account o’ that king o’ yers,” the toad offered, squatting on a rock.

    No, far too intelligent to be a goblin, Mizumi decided.

    “I am investigating troubling events,” Mizumi began in her most diplomatic voice. “Our people are being poisoned. I saw Esker question you and would like some further information.”

    “Hmph!” the toad scoffed, squinting her eyes. “No one asks McMooches if they have any illness. Faes find themselves alone in the universe, despite all their neighbors.”

    Mizumi perked up, frowning. “I am to understand your family is sick as well?”

    The toad nodded, sniffling. “Naturally! That’s what I was tellin’ that creepy ugly fae boy you saw: I have o’er a hundred children and my most youngest, barely got his legs of course, is down with something most dreadful!”

    “’Barely got his legs’?”

    “Pffbt. Ain’t you ever heard how toads grow up? Y’know: tadpoles, get yer lungs an’ legs, become a toad …”

    Mizumi nodded. “I suggest an alliance.”

    The toad stroked her chin and her long pink tongue washed over her right eye as it briefly sunk into her skull. The toad stared at Mizumi pensively for several moments. “You … you wanna team up with us?”

    Mizumi nodded, smiling briefly. “If you are suffering the ill effects as well, it stands to reason you would benefit from none of this.”

    The female McMooch leaned forward. “Lemme get this straight: yer a fae of Moraine, Princess o’ the Cup an’ everythin’, an’ ya wanna help a McMooch?”

    Mizumi extended a hand and a warmer smile. “Are you not living in this kingdom?”

    The toad frowned. “We toads and fishes and slugs lived here ‘fore any fae of any import. ‘F anyone deserves first crack at healin’, it should be us.”

    Mizumi sighed and stared at her in determination. “As future Cup of Moraine I shall endeavour to treat all inhabitants with the utmost respect. After all,” she continued, narrowing her eyes, “the Cup of Moraine is the Lake, and all its inhabitants live through its good grace.”

    Mrs. McMooch smirked, smacking her green lips. “I see a spark o’ somethin’ in yer eyes I can get ta know, Princess. I can see yer intelligent an’ willin’ ta say what yer mind portrays. All things needed in a ruler fair, doncha think?”

    “Then we are in agreement?”

    Mrs. McMooch nodded. “I see a profitable future in a relationship wit’ the crown, o’ course. With any luck my youngest son will have the strength to zip even horseflies down his tiny little gullet.”

    “Tell me, kind toad, your son’s name. I wish to extend my heartfelt wishes.”

    She sniffled and rubbed her nose. “’Til now I ain’t named him yet. Mortality runs kinda high in toad life. That’s why I got a hundred of ‘em. Lucky if half survive the first ten summers.”

    Mizumi smiled, her eyes bright. “A naming ceremony when this business is done, then.”

    Mrs. McMooch grinned. “May the deal go down smoothly, Princess of the Lake.”
  17. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Okay, that helps explain a bit more of the story.

    Interesting to see the difference between the two mothers, Mizumi's and Mrs. McMooch. The carrying of nobility—or puffed-up importance in the toad's case—is definitely present. Dunno if you're drawing upon Jadys for inspiration as to the current Queen of Cups, but her snowyness leading to icyness works. Maybe it was her cold glasslike exterior that broke the previous chapter off where it did. And then Mrs. McMooch shows that gleam of careful scheming that characterizes her family line in deciding whether she'll accept the alliance.

    Also... Nice nod to the rest of the universe, rogue goblins roaming around in the underground. :smirk:
    Thanks for the update. :)
  18. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    I don't know who Jadys is, LOL. I just wanted a darker version of Ma Gorg, who wants the best but is treated like window dressing. Any accusations of Mizumi's shallow nature ought to stem from her.
  19. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Huh, thought I spelled that right, I meant Narnia's White Witch.
  20. RedPiggy

    RedPiggy Well-Known Member

    Oh, well, it didn't matter how you spelled it. I didn't realize she had a name, LOL. :p

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