Muppet Group Therapy Session

[MeepBorkMeep]

Hey. This is my first fan fiction...so feel free to let me know what I'm doing wrong. Okay. Here goes nothing.

Chapter One

“I know you are but what am I…”
“I’m rubber your glue…”
“Your face, that’s what…”
Mr. Adler’s office door burst open, revealing several disgruntled Muppets. Mr. Adler, a short, professional-looking, mustachioed man in a long white coat, entered somewhat cautiously. “Sorry I’m late…” he muttered, glancing around at the suddenly innocent faces.
“No bother,” Kermit said, cheerfully. “We were just chatting.”
“Mm hmm,” Mr. Adler said, sitting down behind his long hardwood desk. “I heard you were having some problems…” he began, pulling out a notebook.
“Yes, Mr. Adler, some of us are trying to, well, some of us are, well, yes. We’re having problems,” Kermit said, his voice becoming shaky and uncertain.
“Let’s just say some of us are trying to take over the theater that is rightfully some of our uncles,” Scooter hinted, with a sideways glance at Kermit.
“And some of us should shove it up themselves,” Miss Piggy said, somewhat threateningly, with a sideways glance at Scooter.
“And perhaps some of us would like to remove the pork from the equation,” twittered Bunsen, with a sideways glance at Miss Piggy.
“And perhaps some of would like a different job,” meeped Beaker, with a sideways glance at Bunsen.
“What did he say?” Mr. Adler asked Bunsen, looking up and pausing in his writing.
“Nothing, he said nothing,” Bunsen assured Mr. Adler.
“You no good lousy…” Beaker began, beside himself, but was quickly interrupted by Fozzie.
“And some of us would like to see our trans Later, Wocka wocka,” Fozzie piped in, glancing at Bunsen, and realizing a little bit later how little sense that made.
“And some of us would like better jokes!” Statler moaned.
“What joke? I didn’t hear a joke!” Waldorf yelled.
“Check yer hearing aid,” suggested Statler.
“What?” Waldorf shouted.
“And some of us are wondering why we’re here,” Big Bird said, quietly to Mr. Adler, putting a wing on his shoulder.
“You don’t know why you’re here?” Mr. Adler asked, a little frazzled.
“No…”
“Well then, you may leave Big Bird,” Mr. Adler said, getting up to open the door.
“All right. Bye Mr. Handler,” Big Bird said politely, waving goodbye as he left.
“It’s…Adler…bye Big Bird…watch those steps…” Mr. Adler said, shutting the door, and sitting down. “Please…continue…” he muttered, motioning to the Muppets that were now watching the steps intently.
Kermit looked up. “If I may pause in watching the steps, I’d like to say that I believe we have some problems, and we’d like to work them out.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Mr. Adler said, confidently. “Let’s start with you, Kermit.”

 

[theprawncracker]

Wow! This is really good!! I'm liking it, very funny. Loved the scene with bigger!

But my ONE complaint is it's kinda hard to read so squished together, so maybe if you put spaces between each person talking it'll help. Great story! Looking forward to more!

 

[MeepBorkMeep]

Will do. Thanks. I'll get the next one real soon.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Oooh, I'm really loveing this thing. Great work!!

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Helllooo? This is a really great story, I can't wait to see more of it!! Please? More?

 

[MeepBorkMeep]

Ooh, sorry it's taking so long. I'm on the last couple of sentences. Just a little bit more.

 

[Smiles]

LOVE IT! anyone going to to a group therapy session is mildly entertaining, and the you do it with MUPPETS! Brilliant!

And about taking long, don't worry about it. I take about a week in between chapters of my fan fic which might bother some people..........

but I personally think its better because some people just update so fast and I don't have enough time to come here that often that I just feel its soooo hard to catch up.....

well there I go again rambling, but anyway great story!

 

[MeepBorkMeep]

Chapter Two

Kermit cleared his throat. “Ahem…well Mr. Adler…there seems to be some tension between…several of the employees and I….” he began, looking about uneasily at the rest, who had now turned and begun to watch him intently. He cleared his throat once again. “Ahem…never mind.”
Miss Piggy gave off a short, forced feminine laugh, and patted Kermit on the head. “Kermy…” she began, stroking him gently between the eyes.
“If you want something, just say it. Moi will not stand to see you so discomforted, awkward, and toady…” she said gently.
Kermit straightened up at the last part, and turned to Miss Piggy, shrugging off her hand. “Toady? Excuse me?” he asked, defensively.
Miss Piggy let out another short, forced laugh, and began to pet him again. “Nothing, darling, moi just thinks you could be a little more… poised…”
Kermit shrugged her hand off once again, this time with more force. “You know what Piggy? It’s not ‘several of the employees’,” he said vigorously, making small air quotes with his flippers. “It’s just you. You you you. All you do all day is WHINE. And MOAN. And make FALSEHOODS about our MARITAL STATUS. And THEN you insult my FAMILY!!! I SHOULD HAVE FIRED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE! I SHOULDN’T HAVE EVER AGREED TO MARRY YOU, EVEN FOR THE SAKE OF CINEMATIC ENTERTAINM…”
“Refrooshments?”
All the Muppets turned to the door, where I very proud looking Swedish Chef was now standing, holding a plate of hors d’oeuvres.
“Yes, /please/,” Fozzie said, getting up and helping himself. The rest of the Muppets crowded around the plate.
All that were left on the couch were a fuming yet confused Kermit, a mortified Miss Piggy, and a very, very regretful Mr. Adler.
“Perhaps…you two should…try a different…type of counseling…” Mr. Adler said, barely making eye contact with Miss Piggy or Kermit, and scribbling furiously in his notebook.
“That won’t be necessary, Mr. Adler. Thank you for your time, but moi thinks moi can handle this one on moi’s own,” Miss Piggy said, getting up, and taking Kermit by the flipper. “Come on, my frog legged friend…” she said sweetly, leading him outside. Kermit, still fuming, followed her.
The door closed behind them and a loud “HIIIIYA!” was heard, followed by a smoosh and a scream.
The Muppets were silent for a moment, pausing in their munching of hors d’oeuvres. After a couple of seconds, the door opened again.
Miss Piggy flounced in. “Hmmph.” Behind her was a terrified green fellow that could barely be recognized as Kermit. The Muppets continued their hors d’oeuvres for a moment until Mr. Adler finally spoke.
“So…it’s all worked out between you?” he asked, rubbing his temples.
“Yes. Very much so,” Miss Piggy answered, petting Kermit once again.
“…Then let’s move on…” Mr. Adler said with uncertainty. “How about you…Beaker…” he said, pointing to a now startled Beaker.

Sorry it took so long. Next one should come faster. I'm willing to take suggestions for further Muppet therapy analysis after Beaker.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Oh my goodness! I love this! Thank you for writing this! And if I'm repeating myself, I'm sorry! I just love it so much!!!

 

[MeepBorkMeep]

Thanks! Do you have any ideas for Muppets that could be analyzed after Beaker? Any suggestion would truly be appreciated. I might even be able to fit in a Muppeteer somewhere, but that might be a little hard.